I think of psychiatrists like a human sieve. You go to your shrink and pour out all the crazy in your head that you cannot even dream of saying to your friends, family, or lovers. They have to keep it all in while you come out looking like a shiny new penny.
Seriously, people always complain how their shrinks are charging them a bomb per hour and I’m like, “Do we even know or realize the sh*t we say, when we are relaxing on their fancy couches with them perched near us, holding nothing but a medical degree and a pen and paper for protection?” They have to take in all the garbage filled inside our heads, let it sink to their core, mull over it, and then ask intelligent questions about that sh*t – making us spill out even more sh*t thereafter. And they have to do it with a pleasant smile, a calm face, and a professional bedside manner, though clearly, they must want to bust some chops right then and there. Unless they are Hannibal, and then they do just that…
The human mind can be downright scary with thoughts of violence, sex, greed, despair, desire, sloth and all the sins that haven’t even been listed out yet. And there are two ways most of humankind unburdens itself: Religion (read priests) and therapy. So while ministers are ordained and can turn to God in their darkest hour, where do these disturbed doctors go to unburden the heavy in their souls? Well, if the Internet is to be believed, the Internet! So here are 15 really terrifying confessions from mental therapists, enough to shake even the strongest of minds and souls!
15. Some Minds Are Simply Born Evil
There is a certain social community of the people living in a mental health sanatorium. Human beings are social animals in their own right and even the insane reach out to their like-minded peers, thus forming their own little insane group. So one psychiatrist worked in a large facility for the “criminally disturbed” youth in California in the 1980s, and one group there turned his blood to ice. He recalls that most in the group were fairly run-of-the-mill youngsters with typical deviant teenage behavior. But some eggs are far more rotten than the others.
This particular psychiatrist remembers that on one average evening, all the kids were grouped in the TV room watching a random show which was interrupted for a special news bulletin about a huge conflagration where many had burned to death. During their evening group therapy class, one teen stood up started talking about how hearing about and imagining those people burning to their gory deaths had given him a rock hard boner, like never before. And he was very serious and passionate about it. The depths of depravity that some young minds fall prey to are unbelievable.
14. Normalcy Is Just An Illusion
So this therapist had long been working with a man who, as a teenager, had attacked and killed his parents rather brutally with a knife, while he was under the delusion that aliens had invaded their bodies. He believed that only he had the vision to be able to spot the aliens that had taken over many humans and if he could cut open just one human and reveal the alien living inside, he could save the entire human race.
So other than his knife wielding slasher tendencies, he seemed like a pleasant, well-mannered, and generally sweet young man. That said; all he needed was one little hint that someone around him was an alien masquerading as a human. And he would go after that supposed alien in a feral and vicious manner, slicing anyone open with something as commonplace as a bread knife or a ball point pen. A Jekyll and Hyde personality if ever.
13. A Crazy Thirst For Blood
This incident is from an RN who worked in a forensic psychiatric ward, filled with inmates who had been labeled criminally insane – dangerous people who had committed innumerable atrocities on a psychotic break. This RN recalls, “one day a relatively calmer patient just punched an elderly health care worker in the face. This was just out of the blue – he simply walked up to the 60-year-old African woman and sucker punched her. The woman went down cold in a heap on the floor, and her nose was gushing blood everywhere. The two other healthcare workers dragged the heavyset woman off the floor and locked the patient in that ward which was luckily unoccupied at the time.”
What creeped this nurse out, was that this “peaceful” patient got down on all fours right in the middle of the bloodied area, and started licking the blood off the floor! So calm or not, the forensic psych ward inmates could do anything evil and dastardly at any time, and get away with it because they were “mentally ill!”
12. A Whole New Level Of Scary – Stalking Your Mother
One psychologist had a patient with a borderline personality disorder. That doesn’t sound serious at all. Somehow, the patient started to resent the control the professor had on her, well, borderline personality. So she decided to shake things up a tad.
On a weekend, the psychologist’s mother called her rather excitedly over meeting her coworker who had come over for some tea and cookies. When the psychologist inquired about the coworker’s name, her mother gave the name of her patient. Apparently, the patient had driven several states over, introduced herself to the psychologist’s mother and baldly lied about them being colleagues. When she saw the psychologist again, she started the session by saying “Guess what I did over the weekend?” or something equally evil. The psychologist kept her calm even though she was furious, and told her patient in unequivocal terms that if she ever pulled a stunt like this again, she would need to find another psychologist! And need some bail money as well!
11. Self-Realization Is The End For Pedos
You don’t have to be a psychologist or a psychiatrist to encounter the worst of human filth. A psych tech is the one who has to physically handle patients – care for the comatose ones, soothe the violent ones, and even coax the silent ones. They have to feed and bathe and clean and administer medicines and basically, have one tough job.
A psych tech confesses that the worst of the lot are the patients with a child fetish or as they are commonly called, the pedophiles. Firstly, most psych tech workers hate these cases because these are the people who have forever ruined childhoods, families, and lives. That said, a job is a job and they do it. But these pedophiles, when caught and punished, enter a purely self-destructive phase. They have the worst depression and a mile-wide suicidal streak which makes them high-risk patients. And we are sure that while psych techs would probably want them off this Earth, they have no choice but to keep a keen eye on them – sometimes even without a stitch of clothing lest they try to strangle themselves.
10. When A Lie Is Just A Lie
This particular psychologist was an intern when he encountered what he called was the strangest “non-mental” case of his life. A woman came to him for a “mental health checkup” with a newborn in her arms.
Says the psych, “She told me that she had taken a nap earlier in the day, and when she woke up, this baby was staring at her from the other end of the couch.” The woman carried on to say that she did not know that she was pregnant and this “miraculously labor less birth” was something she didn’t know how to explain. The psych continues, “She told me this story with a straight face. I certainly did not believe her, and by all other accounts, she seemed like a perfectly normal, high-functioning individual. I could not figure out why she would manufacture such a tall tale.” So sometimes, people who lie are just liars, not mentally imbalanced in any way.
9. When Psychs Turn Psycho
One RMN (Registered Mental Health Nurse) has a scary story about a psychiatrist she worked for who apparently was riddled with an unassailable ego.
Says this nurse, “We were trying to get a ‘cured’ patient discharged, after a year of care. She completed her exit interview but much to our collective surprise, the psychiatrist in charge refused to discharge her saying that he believed she was psychotic, as she thought she was infested with insects. We were confused, as the patient had never shown signs of being that florid. When the staff very carefully inquired further, the psychiatrist said he asked her how she was feeling about leaving and she replied ‘I have butterflies in my stomach.’ No amount of explanation about this well-known English expression could convince him otherwise. He insisted she was still psychotic and got angry if anybody tried to discuss it further.” And so the patient stayed put!
8. When Pure Evil Freaks Everyone Out
When a man arrested for attempted rape was brought in for a mental health evaluation, the psychologist had this creepy story to tell. “The man kept speaking in a flat and even tone of voice and said, ‘Please, just call my pastor. I’m a deacon at my church. He’ll tell you that I’m a good man, and this is all just a big misunderstanding. Just call him, and take these handcuffs off’. And he kept repeating this, in an expressionless monotone. This was a man who had entered a home in the middle of the night through the back door and attempted to rape and assault a woman while her husband lay sleeping next to her. Now he may have been a psychopath but he was no psych patient!”
The psychologist said that most of his patients, even the violent abusers, seem to understand that they’re not the best humans. They may not adhere to a moral code of conduct, but they understand right or wrong. This particular gentleman knew only that he was right and did not see the wrong that he had done at all. He was so creepy that no psychologist or psych tech was ready to be alone with him even for a few seconds. Scary sh*t indeed!
7. When A Handshake Is Off-Limits
An RMN started to work at an inpatient psych hospital in New York, in the early 80s. While being introduced to patients, she met to a patient who had a shoe fetish. She was advised by all never to wear brown shoes, and to NEVER shake his hand.
The poor nurse forgot all about the warnings and the next time she met this errr, gentleman, apparently stuck her hand, right out. To top that, she was also wearing brown shoes. He grasped her hand very tightly and wouldn’t let go except that his grip was slimy. His hand was completely covered in ejaculate. Upset though she was, she calmed the patient down, slipped her hand out of his grasp and ran to the bathroom to clean up. From then on, she never owned or wore another pair of brown shoes. We don’t know whether she stopped shaking hands as well, or finally started trusting the humankind again.
6. When Some Patients Scare Everyone
So a psych tech admits that sometimes the patients are so darn scary, that everyone gets freaked out by them. Except that you do your shaking and trembling behind closed doors. In front of the inmates, you have to be strong and authoritative.
However, even this strong, built psych tech admitted to being terrified of someone the entire ward had nicknamed “The Patient.” He had been incarcerated in a mental hospital because he had kidnapped his stepfather, strapped him to a table and starved him for three days before he got caught. The plan was far more elaborate, he wanted to starve, torture, and finally kill his stepfather as slowly as possible. And his plan had taken five years in making. His patience and vitriolic hatred were a scary combination, for he had even gathered medical equipment to make sure his victim remained alive during the torture. No one wanted to get on his bad side. If he could plan for five years to torture his stepfather, he could do a lot worse to anyone else he took a dislike to.
5. The Psychiatrist Who Needed A Psychiatrist
“I am sitting opposite my sixth patient of the day. She is describing a terrible incident in her childhood when she was abused, sexually and physically, by both of her parents. I am nodding, listening, and hoping I appear as if I appear normal. Inside, however, I feel anything but.”
What if the psych you are seeing is one disturbed person himself? How can a person provide therapy and relief to you if they need therapy themselves? We have to realize that mental health professionals – be they psychiatrists, psychologists, therapists, psych techs, or RMNs, are people in their own right. And like us, their minds are vulnerable to various issues too and can fall prey to plenty of disease and discrepancies. That said, it’s still scary to think that the people, who we pour out our secrets to are not very right in the head themselves.
4. When Evil Invades Dreams
One psychiatrist had a rather creepy incident to share, but with the passing of years, its narration has become more anecdotal.
“Having worked in a variety of different settings over the years, I have had plenty contact with many different kinds of patients. My patients have varied from people with serious mental disturbances, those on a psychotic episode, various personality disorders, autism, and serious forensic (read criminal) behavioural problems. As a psychiatrist trying to get the evil out of their brains, I’ve heard a huge variety of obscenities and threats made against me. ‘I’m going to burn your house down,’ ‘I’m going to kill your family’ or the garden variety ‘I am going to rip your heart out…’ But the worst thing that a patient has ever said to me was when a psychotic patient once told me ‘I’ll get you in your dreams.’ That was the one thing that resonated stronger than anything I have ever heard a person say to me, the one thing that actually gave me nightmares. What do you say to that? It wasn’t so much like a just-in-passing way of saying it, but of a much more serious tone… As if the person knew something that I didn’t. That really freaked me out. About a week later, I did dream of him. Oh, the power of suggestion…”
3. When Poop Becomes A Source Of Joy
A psych tech states that he once worked in a specialized home of adult schizophrenics, which housed a maximum of 10 residents at a time. The longest resident was a 68-year-old man who had been committed since the age of 11 and had no contact with the outside world at all for years. Among the other crazy habits of his, was the fact that he never pooped outside of his pants – no restrooms for him so he was on Pampers all the time.
Says the tech, “One day we are on a field trip to a state park, complete with dozens of happy families. I take my eye off of the patient and next thing I know he is taking a sh*t on a picnic blanket two feet from the people who were using it. Their face was of pure horror, but I was feeling joy in my heart! Not because he was causing other people distress, but this was the first time he actually took a load off outside his pants. The picnickers were rightfully pissed for they had to witness an adult taking a crap on their blanket while mumbling about spaceships and wolves. For us, it was a milestone and from then on, that patient did his business in the toilet…”
2. When Patients Don’t Take No For An Answer
Facing pushy or sexually aggressive men is a woman’s struggle around the world. Female psychologists are no different. One female psychologist vividly recalls her worst experience ever when she was in charge of client uptakes. When the last client of her day turned up, he began hitting on her big time. Her mention of her being happily married did not deter him from displaying a boner and coming uncomfortably close to her. He kept begging her to let him perform sexual acts on her, apologizing for his behavior but saying that he hadn’t been with a woman for so long because he just got out of prison.
Recalls the psychologist, “This was the most sexually aggressive and scary person I had ever dealt with and when he invaded my personal space, it was creepy as hell. I had to be firm but not show that I was quaking on the inside, and I couldn’t afford to disturb his equilibrium either. So I kept calm, kept saying no and once the uptake was over and he left, I quit that hospital pronto! Because that hospital was the least bothered about my safety and told me it was simply my job to do, and refused to provide me with an attendant to avoid any further incidents.
1. Sometimes, Even Psychs Get Bored Out Of Their Brains!
So while therapists are paid to listen to a patient for about 45 to 60 minutes at a time, it’s not an easy task to listen to them rambling on. People in therapy can often get so worked up in the normal hustle-bustle of their day that they tend to talk about mundane things rather than getting to the crux of the issue. So sometimes, psychologists or psychiatrists get plenty bored too. But there’s an upside to a psych’s boredom: It indicates that something isn’t working and makes psychs wonder “What do I need to do differently with this client?”
That said; one psychologist confessed “Today was a bad day. My patient rambled on about her husband’s affair for so long, I fell asleep on her. And woke up to an ominous silence and then, loud wails of discontent from the client. I don’t think she is coming back!”
To the patient that it happens to, it’s possibly the worst mental block ever, because if your doctor is not interested in what you have to say, after being paid to treat the crazies in your brain, then who will be? Like, ever?
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