15 Stupid Things Flat Earthers Believe Are True

Flat Earthers, if you have never heard of them before, are a group of people who really do what they say on the tin. They believe that the Earth is flat. They have a lot of theories about why this is the case, and how to prove it. Unfortunately, quite a lot of famous faces – including Shaquille O’Neal and rapper B.o.B. – have been sucked in to this theory and now believe it to be true. Even though they sometimes say their comments were "jokes" (we know the truth, Shaq).

There are a lot of issues with the Flat Earthers: they have split into several groups, each of which has conflicting beliefs. They also attack one another quite regularly, and anyone who makes a concession to the so-called Round Earthers (or RE) will be shunned by the lot of them. Confusingly, there are also some people who have picked up these theories for satirical reasons only, and those are scorned roundly by the real Flat Earthers. But the conflicting groups of believers have a few things that they agree on, most of which are crazier than a moustache on a cat.

Prepare to be entertained – the further you look into this theory, the funnier it gets. Bear in mind that these things are actually believed by real people. Not only do they believe them, but they believe them so passionately that they are willing to put their professional reputations on the line by using their real names when discussing them. Even when all scientific evidence is to the contrary, this is what Flat Earthers are prepared to believe.

15 The Earth Looks Like The UN Symbol

As far as conspiracy theories go, this one rates pretty high on the “insane coincidence” meter. Flat Earthers believe that the Earth is actually laid out flat like a map, and that the edges of the map are therefore circular. The shape would be better described as a disc. They have produced diagrams of what this would look like – and then pointed out with a great degree of smugness that their diagram looks exactly like the UN symbol. This, they claim, is proof of a sinister cover-up at the highest levels of government. It’s clearly not just because the graphic designers at the UN also decided, quite logically, to flatten out the globe in order to create a logo that was easily recognizable. That would just be crazy! Still, this gives us a handy way to demonstrate the Flat Earthers’ ideas about the shape of the world. Just look at that symbol and you’re there.

14 Spirit Levels Prove The Earth Is Flat

A high-profile Flat Earther on YouTube, D Marble, recently announced that he had proven once and for all that the Earth is flat. The proof? He took a flight from Seattle to California, armed with a spirit level. He used this spirit level to demonstrate that the plane did not, apparently, have to adjust for the curvature of the Earth as it was flying from one part of the US to the other. Anyone with a few brain cells rattling around inside their skull will know that this proves nothing. Aside from problems with turbulence which often occur when flying over land, the flight might also be expected to make multiple adjustments for height when flying across different parts of the country. Not only that, but the distance he actually recorded the spirit level for (23 miles) would not be enough to show much of a difference in normal cases anyway.

13 The Antarctic Is An Ice Wall

This is one of the greatest parts of the theory because of just how little sense it makes. Despite the fact that people have actually been to the Antarctic, walked around or sailed around it, and taken extensive video footage, we’re supposed to believe that all of that is a lie. Flat Earthers suggest that this part of the world is actually an ice wall which encircles the whole of the map as we know it. They’ve basically taken a globe and flattened it out, and something had to be around the outer edge. It also conveniently explains why we don’t slip off the edge of the Earth into space every now and then. This ice wall theory is totally bizarre, but it’s actually one of the main cornerstones of the Flat Earth beliefs. Recently, another YouTuber who tried to concede that it might not actually be an ice wall was attacked by other Flat Earthers for selling out.

12 The Sun Is Just 3,000 Miles Away

This is perhaps the most alarming part of the Flat Earth theory – largely because if it was true, we would all be frying to death quite rapidly. They say that the sun is just 3,000 miles away. It’s actually 92.9 million miles away, according to NASA, which is good news for those of us who like to cool down once in a while. Here’s the other interesting part to that theory: in order to not kill us, they say that the sun is basically smaller than San Francisco. If this was true, there would be no possible way for the sun to generate enough power to so much as generate photosynthesis, let alone be harnessed for solar power. We would be living in a very different world indeed, and likely a much colder one. If there’s one thing that Flat Earthers don’t listen to, however, it’s the indisputable proof that their so-called beliefs are as hokey as they come.

11 The Moon Landing Was A Hoax

Ahhh, here’s one which just seems to come right out of nowhere and fit in conveniently to their theories. The moon landing has been a subject of concern for conspiracy theorists pretty much since the day that it happened, and plenty of people will swear blind to you that it was all done on a Hollywood sound stage. The Flat Earthers picked this one up and ran with it. They believe that the moon landing was a total fake, because if anyone had ever really been to the moon, they would have looked down and seen that the Earth was flat. Then they would have taken photographs which showed it as a disc, rather than all of those fake space photographs of a round Earth. Because that’s the other thing that Flat Earthers have to contend with: the fact that we have actually seen Earth from the outside. But that’s no problem thanks to their other theories.

10 They’ve Been Lying To You Ever Since The Moon Landing

Because NASA faked the moon landing, they also had to fake pictures of the Earth by creating a Photoshopped image of a round planet. But then, right afterwards, NASA found out that the Earth is really flat. They were horrified! If they showed their proof to the world, then they would also have to admit that they faked the moon landing. So, instead of admitting one small thing to prove a massive scientific discovery, they carried on the lie and have done so ever since. All astronauts are lying or have been misled. All photographs taken from space are manipulated or shot using a fish-eye lens to make the Earth appear round. Even countries like Russia and China, who of course had no reason to dispute the moon landing, got in on the conspiracy and kept it quiet. The Flat Earth theory starts to unravel when you begin to realize exactly how many people would need to know the truth.

9 There’s No Such Thing As Gravity

Many people are quick to dismiss the Flat Earth theory by pointing at things which we can understand through science, such as gravity. Gravity only works because of the molten core of the Earth, which is strong enough to pull everything down onto the surface on the Earth. As D Marble puts it in his spirit level video: “Consider how gravity supposedly comes about… a molten metal core which somehow becomes magnetized. If that is the case, then metal foundries should all be magnetized… should they not?” Once again, Flat Earthers display a disregard for scale of a never-seen-before magnitude. Never mind all of the provable ways in which gravity exists – apparently, the only scientific tests that they believe in are the ones which appear to support their theories. It seems fairly par for the course for them to dismiss any proof that they are wrong as fake, created by the government or Illuminati, or simply wrong.

8 The Earth Is Constantly Accelerating (That's How We're Held Down To The Ground)

With the theory of gravity as we know it discarded, Flat Earth theorists had to come up with another explanation for what is holding us down on the ground. Why does something fall when you drop it? For them, it’s all to do with entropy. Basically, the Earth is accelerating through space at a rate of 32 feet per second. This is the pressure that pushes you down to the ground at a constant rate. They use dark energy as an explanation for this, and apparently, dark energy also has the power to move the sun and the moon along with us at exactly the same rate. Considering that the stars and planets in the sky don’t change position, one has to presume that they are moving along with us at exactly the same rate as well – or that they are all just painted on there as another part of the big lie.

7 The Sun Follows A Circular Path

You may be wondering how the sun works if we aren’t a globe, but rather a disc. Surely different parts of the planet must be hit by the sun at different times? Flat Earthers explain this by saying that the sun moves in a circular path around the disc. This means that the light is hitting different areas of land at different times. It doesn’t explain why we can’t always see the sun, since we know that light travels in straight lines, but never mind. They also use the circular path theory to explain the seasons: the sun apparently moves in circles which go closer or further away to the centre of the Earth as time goes on. This creates the seasons that we know, as well as longer and shorter days. There’s no reason for the sun to do this in scientific terms, but apparently it just obliges to fit the theory.

6 Satellites Don’t Exist

Back to our thoughts on space travel, you might be wondering how it is that we can have so many satellites up in space and yet still not know the truth. After all, you can even see some of them through telescopes, right? Well, if you think you can, then you’ve been well and truly taken in by The Man. Satellites don’t exist at all! What you can see is actually a pseudolite, or a stratolite. This has been put into the sky by NASA, or the ISS, or some other organization who is their scapegoat du jour. It all makes perfect sense so long as you close your eyes and pretend that every governmental organization in the world is trying to hoodwink every other person in the world by this dramatic and highly expensive puppet show. It makes total sense that governments would be willing to spend a lot of money on a lie rather than fake a new scientific discovery of something that they have apparently known for years to get it all over with.

5 Water Is Supposed To Curve

Flat Earthers look at the round version of the Earth and they wonder why we don’t fall off all of the time. They also wonder why water seems to be flat in lakes and oceans, rather than curving. To try to prove that it doesn’t curve, they took the plane spirit level experiment to another level and measured the “flatness” of water across a 6-mile stretch. The Bedford Level Experiment once again failed to take into account that the Earth is far, far vaster than 6 miles across. Such a short distance would never be enough to measure a curvature on the scale of the Earth, and that’s before we even begin to look at how flawed their methods of measurement were. Still, this tiny experiment was hailed as a huge victory for Flat Earth theorists. It’s such a shame that none of them actually appear to understand measurements of distance.

4 Circumnavigation Is Simply Circular Travel

This is one of the best and most stupid things that Flat Earthers believe. They have to come up with a way to explain how we are able to circumnavigate the globe, a feat which has been achieved multiple times. Their answer is to say that you either circled all the way around the ice wall of Antarctica, or you circled the North Pole. Never mind the fact that people have been able to circumnavigate by flying over or sailing past landmasses which simply shouldn’t be next to one another in the Flat Earth map. Never mind that travelling in a straight line should logically take you right to the edge of the Earth and the ice wall, rather than in a circle. You’d think that at least one person in the history of travel would have diverted from their path and ended up in that wall of ice, but somehow it just hasn’t happened.

3 Land Creates Weather

So, if the weather isn’t created by the globe-like shape of the Earth, then what is it caused by? This one is easily explained away by the Flat Earthers. They suggest that it is a feature of the landmasses of the Earth themselves, which create their own weather. Hills and mountains appear to have a significant part to play in their theories, causing clouds to drop or rise as they actually do in real life. This conveniently uses a small truth to disguise the fact that there is no other proof for any other part of their weather theory. Considering that the science we follow must be totally wrong, how is it that weather forecasters do manage to get it right some of the time? Perhaps meteorologists are all part of this global – sorry, we mean worldwide – conspiracy as well. The more you go into their theories, the more it beggars belief that even a single person really thinks that it all holds water.

2 The Earth Is Endless

Some people have questioned what is going on beyond that wall of ice we know as Antarctica. While different groups are somewhat split on this, the Flat Earth Society have come out as saying that the Earth is actually endless. They quote beliefs from previous leaders such as Samuel Shenton and S. Rowbotham, who thought that the ice wall was just something that blocked us from leaving our own part of the disc. Out there, there is a whole other world which is perhaps lit by another sun, or is cold and barren because ours is the only one. Since no one has ever been over the edge, the theorists admit to being very curious about what might be out there. Perhaps this is where aliens actually come from. You never know what kind of other crazy conspiracy theories the Flat Earthers are going to pull into their model next.

1 The Horizon Is Flat Because The Earth Is

When you look out at the horizon, the Earth appears to be flat. Even when you look out of a plane window, the horizon looks flat (except when it doesn’t because of the glass in the windows). Flat Earthers say that this offers indisputable proof that the Earth must be flat. If it was round, they say, you would be able to see a curvature at the edges of the horizon. This is yet another example of Flat Earthers forgetting how large this globe really is. As a human being, you will never be able to get a wide enough perspective to see the curvature in evidence. However, you can see it happening if you look out at the ocean. When a ship disappears from view off to one side or the other, this is an example of the ship disappearing over the curve of the Earth. You may not be able to witness it without a telescope, as the ship will be so small in the distance by the time that it gets there.

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