The teenage years can be difficult to say the least. Even though the hormones are at full throttle, you are expected to act in a mature manner and to be respectful at all times. Your parents are down your throat to get good grades, you have to earn your keep with a job on the weekends, and the peer pressure to be cool can make or break you. Add to this the fact that you are in a never ending search for some type of identity, any identity. It is no wonder that teens find whatever way they can to express themselves in the most defiant and self-harming manner possible.
There was a time when rebellion and substance abuse was a bit simpler. You might cut class, cover your high school in toilet paper, and spray shaving cream all over the neighborhood cars. And on the weekends, you’d hit all the local parties where you would down an endless supply of beers and shots, or play the old school drinking games such as beer pong and quarters; oh my have times changed…
Below are 15 Shocking Teen Fads You Won't Believe Exist.
15 Eyeball Licking (Oculolinctus)
It is a birthright to lick clean the last bit of cookie dough from the mixing bowl, and licking the chocolate off of our fingers after an especially messy Snickers Bar is just cool; so what’s the big deal about Eyeball Licking? Yes, eyeball licking has become a fad in the land of the rising sun where impressionable Japanese teens have taken to tasting their friend’s corneas at an alarming rate. According to the Urban Dictionary, "Oculolinctus (also known as 'worming') is a paraphilia whereby people are aroused by licking their partner’s eyeballs, and or having their eyeballs licked." Who knew? This is an exciting opportunity to say the least! However, unless you want the possibility of contracting viral conjunctivitis, styes, abscesses, and even blindness, you may want to take a pass on this one.
14 Condom Snorting
As it turns out, the Colombian drug cartel kingpin Pablo Escobar had it all wrong. Gone are the days of snorting those oldies but goodies, cocaine and heroin. Today is really about the ever relevant and always user friendly Teen Snorting Condom. Why were those crafty drug smugglers dealing with that heavy and tedious white powder that was getting under their nails, on their clothes and in their hair when they could have been stuffing those children’s toys with these little rubbery delights? And don’t forget about those drug sniffing dogs that are always on point to catch you in the act. Less mess, compact, and in many colors and flavors; the Teen Snorting Condom could have made them trillions instead of the simple billions they pulled in. And the body count could have been so much less.
13 Drinking Hand Sanitizer
Even though there are many chemical options out there to help teenagers get through, well, being teenagers, there is always room for more. To the utter horror of parents and religious groups everywhere, the long kept secret has been unlocked; Hand Sanitizer is the new Vodka and the good news for those teenagers on a budget is that it is everywhere and usually free. According to Anne Marie Helmenstine, PhD. “a typical 240 ml container of hand sanitizer gel contains comparable alcohol to 5 shots of hard liquor." 5 shots worth of delirium for the cost of a small bottle of the clear stuff; nice! And since just about every restaurant, public building, and market is now equipped with a free hand sanitizer dispenser at the entrance, the pimple face ones will have those few extra greenbacks to spend on other mood altering necessities such as spray paint, and or the always reliable glue.
12 Salt And Ice Challenge
What happened to the good ole days of covering your hands with Elmer’s Wood Glue, letting it dry, and then harmlessly peeling it off; so much fun! Times have changed with the discovery of the Salt and Ice Challenge. According to EMS1.com, “the dare has kids sprinkle an area of their skin with salt, press an ice cube on top, and seeing how long they can withstand the pain.” Evidently drinking oneself into alcohol poisoning and slamming around in a mosh pit just doesn’t cut it anymore. Notice to all teen boys out there: If you just aren’t doing enough to test your pain threshold and manliness, you now have the option of exposing your skin to simulated frostbite and risking lifelong scarring that will remind you of how much of an ass you were as a youth.
11 Vodka Eyeballing
Instant news, instant downloads, instant texting, and instant photo sharing; it is no wonder that we are becoming use to the fact that we can get what we want instantly. So why stop at technology, why not also get buzzed instantly? Teens have done it again with the introduction of Vodka Eyeballing, a method meant to introduce the alcohol more quickly into the bloodstream.
Now, getting a speedy buzz is not something new. One can knock down a couple of shots and on comes delirium, but that just takes too long for the average “instant gratification” teen of today. Why wait 2 to 3 minutes to get your groove on the old fashioned way when you can just pour Vodka directly onto your eyeball and be drunker than a skunk before you can scream “I’m blind!”?
According to Dr. Cindy Tromans, the President of the College of Optometrists, “The main danger from pouring 40 percent alcohol into the eye is damage to the epithelium which is a delicate layer of skin cells covering the eye.” She goes on to say that this “then leaves the eye vulnerable to infection and potentially scarring, which in the long run can be sight threatening.” Ok, maybe the shots are a better route…
10 Vodka Tampons
We understand that the drama of everyday female teenagehood can be very taxing. There is the morning ritual of having to get out of bed, finding something cute to wear, and then you have to deal with those bitchy friends of yours who will take your boyfriend and stab you in the back, all the while comforting you over your loss. Add those irritating responsibilities such as attending class or working an afterschool job to the mix and it quickly becomes clear that a stiff drink is in order from time to time. However, the stench of alcohol on your breath is enough to ensure a quick suspension from school followed by a direct trip to the unemployment line. With that said, there is a solution; the vodka tampon.
The premise is simple; soak a tampon of your choosing into a glass of Vodka and presto, a stealth alcohol delivery device that will have you buzzing around the room on the down low! According to Dr. Marianne Chai, "a child adolescent psychiatrist, participants get intoxicated a lot faster because it gets absorbed directly into their blood stream."
9 The Knockout Game
The daily stress faced by the teenager can lead him to make irrational decisions which takes us to our next teen trend, the Knockout Game. The knockout game is when a young man, usually accompanied by his own videographer, will approach an unsuspecting person on the street and lay em out with a devastating haymaker. Such was the case when 17-year-old Kristin Gonzales walked up to Cesar Nejara as he stood on a street corner and delivered a straight right hand to Nejara’s face that would have made Mike Tyson proud. The end result, the 37-year-old victim was out cold before he hit the ground and Gonzales found a new home in the “Big House.” She has been sentenced to three years in prison and is expected to serve the term in a youth correctional facility.
Bert’s Bees is one of the most popular personal care products on the market today. Started by a beekeeper back in 1984, this company offers facial cleansers and creams, body washes and bath oils; and even diaper ointments for those tiny tots in the family. However, the most famous creation of Mr. Bert and his bees is the Bert’s Bees Lip Balm.
While this product was originally developed to keep your lips moist and soft to the touch, leave it to the enterprising teen to discover another use; a way to get high. Rather than applying the balm to the lips, teenagers have decided that direct application to the eyeball will provide them with that high they’ve been looking for. However, they may be disappointed.
Dr. Mary Romano at Vanderbilt Children’s Hospital says beezin’ could lead to health risks like inflammation of the eye, swelling, and other symptoms similar to pink eye. She said it’s not only dangerous but pointless since there is no active ingredient in the balm that could actually get someone high.
7 Snorting Smarties
Who needs an expensive cocaine habit when you can simply drop by your local market, grab up a few packs of smarties and go to town! Cocaine just brings so much drama; you never know if your dealer is really an undercover narc, the quality of the drug is always suspect, and you could end up ducking bullets if the deal goes wrong.
Smarties are legal, they must pass stringent government regulations to insure both quality and consistency, and the only threat you may have to deal with is a grumpy, teenage hating guy behind the store’s counter. Once you have secured your supply, simply break open the package; crush the colorful contents with a blunt instrument and snort away.
Health complications include nasal irritation, chronic cough and the possibility of an asthma attack; all of which are better than those pesky overdoses and a higher likelihood of violent death associate with the white powder from Colombia.
6 Pharm Parties
As a teenager, it was always cool to toss various ingredients together. We’d toss our jelly beans, Swedish Fish and Lemon Drops into a bag to munch throughout the day and we’d never just get a Coke from the fountain machine at the local 7-11, we’d throw in a bit of 7-Up, Dr. Pepper, and Sprite to give it that extra little oomph. So why didn’t we ever think of snatching up all of our parents' prescription drugs from the medicine cabinet and tossing them together for the ultimate, psychedelic experience?
Skittling or pharming is a party game in which teenagers indiscriminately mix drugs together, putting themselves at risk for stroke, heart attack, or irreversible brain damage. While mixing up our various candies, and our soft drinks may have resulted in a bad case of heartburn, “Skittling” could’ve resulted in a bad case of a heart attack.
5 Car Surfing
During an expedition to Hawaii in 1779, the Royal Navy’s Lieutenant James King recorded the first account of men riding long wooden boards across waves in Kealakekua Bay on the Kona Coast. Little did the military officer know that a couple of hundred years later, adolescent boys would take the sport to a whole new level.
Car surfing requires a minimum of two people; one to drive the car, and the other to unceremoniously fall from his perilous perch atop the vehicle. The reward of course is an exhilarating, white-knuckle ride while friends cheer in excitement and strangers dial 911 for emergency services. The failure of course is an uncontrollable drop to the pavement where the person will most certainly face instantaneous skin removal, life-long paralysis or a dirt nap.
4 Subway Surfing
Those who have had the displeasure of commuting on the New York City subway at rush hour can attest to the horrid conditions. The cars are packed with hot, sweaty New Yorkers who have long since forgotten the meaning of manners and human decency and the smell is enough to make even the most hardened city dweller feel faint, so it is no wonder as to why some have taken to riding on the roof.
Subway surfing, the act of climbing on top of the roof of a subway car for the trip, has been around for as long as the storied New York City Subway itself. There is a catch however, you must be alert to your surroundings, have cat-like reflexes, and be able to duck at a moment’s notice. Failure to do so may result in broken bones, maiming, or outright decapitation.
3 The Alcohol Enema (Butt Chugging)
There are many conventional ways to get drunk. You can quick-chug a six pack of your favorite brew down the old pie hole, knock down a couple of shots and then quick-chug a six pack of your favorite brew down the old pie hole, or just knock down a six pack’s worth of shots straight down the old pie hole. However, we live in times where everything is delivered in an instant. We simply do not have the time it takes for the body to deliver the booze through the outdated route of those pesky intestines, we need our buzz and we need it now. Enter, “The Alcohol Enema”, otherwise known as Butt Chugging.
According to Urban Dictionary, butt chugging is “similar to a beer bong, but the consumption of beer is rectally, using a funnel and tube to administer the beer as an enema. The primary purpose of butt chugging as opposed to drinking beer is that alcohol administered as an enema has 3x the effect of alcohol taken orally.” While there may be some initial discomfort involved, you won’t give a rat’s ass as you’ll be drunker than a skunk inside of two minutes.
2 Sack Tapping
Being a teenage male can be frustrating. His need to be tough, strong and independent is constantly challenged by the fact that he still lives in his parent’s basement with a 10:00 curfew so to compensate, he embarks on an endless search for the quickest and most painful way to prove his manhood which brings us to the latest cringeworthy craze, sack tapping.
Sack tapping is when a young man stands squarely in front of his best bud and encourages him to deliver a kick to “the nads.” To the delight of all of their peers who stand by cheering on this pathetic spectacle, the best bud delivers his best shot leaving the young man reduced to a crumpled heap on the pavement.
As the saying goes, “It’s all fun and games until someone gets hurt.” Medical effects of a shot to the nuts include, but are not limited to, extreme and long lasting pain, testicular torsion (the chords that are responsible for supporting the scrotum are twisted which interrupts blood flow), and in the worst case scenario, complete rupture resulting in sterility. Ouch!
1 Smoking Bedbugs
Who knew that the real way to get rid of these obnoxious pests was to snatch em up, stuff em in a pipe and smoke away! If you want to live in a big city like New York or Chicago, you will have your pick as bedbug infestations are at an all-time high. All you have to do is move into an apartment, set up your furniture, and wait for the blood sucking creatures to go to work. You’ll need a simple tool kit that includes a magnifying glass, flashlight, tweezers, pipe and a lighter. Just tuck yourself in the sack, turn out the lights and wait for the painful biting to begin. Once you feel the little bastards gnawing on your flesh, simply throw your bed cover off, turn on the light and grab the tool kit. You should be able to snatch up enough of them to pack a decent size pipe. Simply light em up and toke away!
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