"Don’t drink and drive!" "Know when to say when!" "For God’s sake, don’t get pregnant!"
So go the immortal clichéd expressions of any parent about to set free into the wilds of Cleethorpes the sprog they invested so much time and energy in. Most of us will have paid mere lip service to the oldies’ pearls of wisdom and within minutes fallen from the parental Jinny Pit into a world of drink, vomit, fights and disappointing sex. Let’s face it, if there’s a sure-fire way of becoming the social animal we only knew from media, it wasn’t to remember the etiquette of afternoon tea with Grandma; it was to have several pints of lager racing through our hindbrain and a libido unmatched by the ancient Greeks.
Ah, we remember it all too well - the traffic cones, the singing; the watching mates go crazy in an effort to entertain the rest of the group. But as we grow up into proper adults most of us stop the trouble-making because we either run out of money, or grow a pair of responsible balls. Or perhaps just gain a little more self-respect and become remarkably boring.
However, we’re not all the same (if we were, imagine how easy it would be to find a friend with benefits?). We know even celebrities have to let their hair down; the poor dears are under the microscope of public scrutiny every day of their lives. But when does having a good time turn into looking like a sad loser? We think there’s a fine line when it comes to this lot of lovelies.
15 Ed Sheeran
Having attended the same party in 2015 as Charli XCX, half-knighted Ed Sheeran was papped leaving the Warner bash to continue the night’s celebrations in style; although on the face of it there wasn’t that much style to be had. Nevertheless, the English singer-songwriter was rumoured to have given it large for the remainder of the night despite warnings from family and fans alike.
Sheeran’s love of ethanol-based beverages is well known but less so his fancy for something a little stronger. A 2014 interview for Rolling Stone revealed the double BRIT and double Grammy Awards winner Sheeran enjoyed a little taste of Molly (MDMA) when he attended producer Jack Gossling's wedding in Ibiza. Only last year, Ed’s family (and famously Justin Bieber, not related) expressed concerns about his overindulging in drink and drugs, with cousin Jethro telling The Mirror he was “worried about him”.
14 Ireland Baldwin
Back in 2015, People Celebrity reported that the 19-year-old daughter of Kim Basinger and Alec Baldwin had checked into rehab. Admitting herself to the SOBA Recovery Center for drug and alcohol treatment in Malibu, California, Ireland Baldwin was quoted as saying she “needed a breather” and time to work on herself.
However, Baldwin stringently denies having alcohol problems and a source close to her told the People zine, “She’s not using, this is not drug-related, she voluntarily checked herself in. She’s just been in some tough situations lately, and it’s gotten a bit stressful and overwhelming, so she’s just being proactive. She’s in there to get the tools she needs to move forward in a positive direction.”
Maybe she also needs time to work on her walking because she was caught leaving a fashionistas dinner in West Hollywood in a state of what could only be described as “squiffy”.
13 Nicole Scherzinger
It’s a running joke for viewers of hit UK TV show X-Factor - is Nicole Scherzinger drunk, again? The questions have been asked ever since she replaced Kelly Rowland back in 2012 and yet constantly denied with disclaimers of her just being “in the disco spirit” and “pretty excited”.
Back in 2014 The Daily Star quoted Scherzinger admittance that she “self-medicated with alcohol” to silence the demons in the land of A-listers and it certainly seems to many that her regimen is carrying on apace. The Mirror also claimed in the same year that the American television personality boasted about being able to drink “most men under the table”.
"I can drink with the big boys. My mother is half Russian and I can drink like a Russian. Some of the best shows I've done were with the worst hangovers,” she told Live Magazine.
12 Kim Kardashian
American reality television personality Kim Kardashian claims to have settled down somewhat with husband Kanye West. An article from Movie Pilot last year confirmed the status and quoted her as saying, "I do not drink alcohol at all. My sisters drink, so when they get a little crazy, I am there to pull them down." Oddly though, having recently figured on a HuffPost “27 Celebrities Who Don't Drink” her name was unceremoniously lifted from the list.
True, before Kardashian was mega-famous she and Paris Hilton were famously spotted out together, inseparable and living it up. So perhaps the 36-year-old Californian went through a little dry spell. Earlier this year fashionista.com ran with the headline, “KIM KARDASHIAN'S COACHELLA-INSPIRED MERCH DROP INCLUDES DRUG AND ALCOHOL PARAPHERNALIA”; so what’s the truth of the matter?
11 Tara Reid
“American Pie” actress Tara Reid had a dodgy moment back in 2012. She was seen stumbling around and falling over a motorbike in St Tropez, Southern France leaving us to ask whether it was the hot weather that got to her pretty little head. Unlikely when we consider that the 41-year-old American actress has a bit of a reputation for partying and according to The Sun had previously checked into rehab for alcohol addiction in 2008. The article then went on to suggest that Tara’s acting career “hit a downward spiral likely due to her well documented drinking and partying.”
It’s no secret that drink and drugs wreck careers, even for the mere mortals among us. On a US reality show last year, Reid hit back at a fellow contestant Adam Friedman who told the actress, “I wouldn’t want you to be my mate because you work too much and party way too much”. So maybe a revisit to rehab is on the cards.
10 Cara Delevingne
You’ll never find English fashion model and actress Cara Delevingne at home in the evening. Delevingne, who has starred in such high profile productions as the 2012 film adaptation of Anna Karenina, Paper Towns (2015) and Suicide Squad (2016) is renowned for being unable to “just have one”.
In fact, she’s even more renowned for having so many as to render her unable to stand up straight most nights; last year at the GQ Awards, she was seen “sprawled across the floor with designer Jonathan Saunders laid on top of her” (mydailynews).
Last year magazine Esquire got close to the root cause of Cara Delevingne's over-compensation issues when she disclosed “her depression first manifested when she was a child struggling to understand her mother's addiction to drugs.”
9 Charli XCX
Charlotte Emma Aitchison better known by her stage name Charli XCX is known for living things up a little. In 2016, she released the EP Vroom Vroom, and the single After the Afterparty; according to sources her third studio album is due for release sometime this year. In a recent interview for video-driven music site Noisy, she advised journalist Amelia Abraham to “have vodka for breakfast […], get some duct tape and strap it to you, then you’ve got both hands free for drug intake and raving.”
After the excitement and luvvy-hugging of the 2015 BRIT Awards at the Freemason’s Hall in London, Aitchison was seen leaving the Warner Music post-show bash far worse for wear. According to the Mail Online, “The musician quickly slipped into the depths of drinking hell as she put her hand over her face and her eyes closed as she made her way to leave.”
8 Andy Dick
American comedian, actor and musician Andy Dick is no stranger to substance abuse; according to a Vice.com article last year Dick “entered into rehab programs 20 times in an effort to become sober”. Now, we’re not in the habit of poking fun at anyone who’s openly struggled with sobriety but when it becomes the defining aspect of your life we think it’s time for a full reassessment, especially when by his own admission his rehab centre is hanging up on his calls.
What’s more, Dick’s problems when drunk or high have landed him with charges of possession of cocaine, cannabis and paraphernalia, DUIs, indecent exposure, sexual battery and abuse. We can only imagine what his two sons and daughter must think when they read about Pops exposing himself on stage or trying to strangle someone. Dare we suggest just one night in a week?
7 Lady Gaga
It’s all about self-respect and looking the part. Hold the drink and maintain dignity at all times. Do this and you may stand a chance of not being snapped by a pap in a state of disarray and looking like something that walked out from the back of Wal-Mart.
Take American singer, songwriter and actress Lady Gaga for instance. No please, just take her - preferably home. The 31-year-old hasn’t ever hidden her love of drugs and alcohol, the beginnings of which she divulged to The Telegraph in 2011: "I went to a Catholic school but it was on the New York underground that I found myself.” And in 2013 according to a book by best friend Brenda Jay Sullivan “most of Gaga’s friends were heavily entrenched in the drug world while she studied at NYU’s Tish School.” That said, we think if she saw these shots of her she’d want to calm things down a little.
6 Pete Doherty
What the heck has happened to Pete Doherty, he was always such a lovely lad? No but seriously, the guy looks as if he’s got one foot in the grave and he’s only 38. If ever there was a warning label for living a rock 'n' roll loser lifestyle, this is it folks. Doherty’s struggles with drink and drugs go back years, in fact to 2003 when his band The Libertines was on the up and up. Since then, Doherty has been either arrested or charged with DUI, car theft, possession of heroin and cocaine.
When being interviewed for his biography by author Peter Welsh, Doherty admitted he had dealt drugs to pay for his own addiction and had stolen from one of his male clients when he was a rent boy. And it’s not just Doherty who suffers at the hands of Doherty; the guy has two kids! Let’s hope he’s paying maintenance.
5 Brandi Glanville
American television personality Brandi Glanville is no shrinking violet. She has been candid about her sexual exploits in public places; her bisexuality and her private time with Drew Carter, nine years her junior. But we think her partying is again symptomatic of some far more serious issues. According to a 2014 piece in the Mail Online Glanville “leans on alcohol” when she is depressed which anyone having suffered the same addiction will know is incredibly hard to admit.
While admitting that she didn’t use recreational drugs she said she was taking an antidepressant called Lexapro which by itself we think would probably work (though not when downed with bottles of wine). Nevertheless, Glanville appears to make few apologies for her lavish excesses and in her autobiographical tome states, “I believe on some level that everybody is a little f***ed up.”
4 Tiger Woods
Back in 2009 it was suggested by some investigators who attended his SUV crash that golfer Tiger Woods had driven under the influence of Ambien, a hypnotic usually prescribed for sleeping disorders. In fact the incident only heightened public concern for the mental state of the golf pro; as reported in the Daily Beast of the same year, a source familiar with Woods’s medical treatment described the regular dosing of painkillers as “potentially a problem” because of the addictive nature of his medications.
You might have thought that the controversy surrounding his antics and the public disgrace which came in tandem would have shaken up the 41-year-old; but at a Met Gala four years ago Woods had obviously had far too much to drink and according the NY Daily News, “Danced awkwardly before grabbing [girlfriend, Lindsey Vonn’s] butt, [who] laughed about the affectionate tug but soon became a bit more serious as the night went on.”
3 Kristina Shannon
Getting wasted in public seems to be the MO for Kristina Shannon and twin sister Karissa. Back in 2015 the Mirror reported on them having been “blasted by doctors after boozing while they were on pain medication after undergoing plastic surgery.” In the same year Kristina rolled the SUV she was driving, nearly killing her and Karissa and was promptly arrested for DUI.
The two girls - who were both charged with aggravated battery in 2008 and both dated Hugh Hefner as Playboy Bunnies - agreed to calm things down following their admonishment from the medical profession. However, last year the pair were papped outside a tanning salon looking far from glamorous and more like a couple of characters Harry Enfield would have come up with. Perhaps that’s what calming things down does for you!
2 Lindsay Lohan
Back in 2013 American actress and singer Lindsay Lohan sat down with Oprah Winfrey for a heart-to-heart about her drug and alcohol addiction. “Alcohol,” Lohan said, “in the past, was a gateway to other things for me… I tried cocaine with alcohol.” The mixture not only dented Lohan’s reputation causing a sizeable hiatus in her film career and loss of high profile parts but so too over the years landed her with a DUI and possession.
Earlier this year, The Daily Beast ran a headline which read: “Can Lindsay Lohan Be Great Again?” Saying about past headlines “increasingly read(ing] like cries for help”, the bad girl had at last turned a corner in her recovery and lifestyle. However, as recently as last year, Lohan’s boyfriend Egor Tarabasov was “accused of trying to strangle and kill her.”
1 Kate Moss
This 43-year-old supermodel knows how to have a good time but no good time is a good time if it goes overboard. Unfortunately for Kate Moss her personal life has been bedecked by just that. By the age of 31, Moss had developed a fantastic reputation as a model but all that was to turn sour coincidentally in the same year she dated The Libertines singer, Pete Doherty. Not wishing to confirm or deny a growing dependency on drugs she was systematically dropped by H&M, Chanel and Burberry.
Despite clinging onto her modelling career, Moss’s misdemeanours continue to haunt her; in 2015 she was escorted from a flight for being disruptive, and according to Metro last year Moss “has a troubled history with narcotics. For years she has been said to be a cocaine user.” Additionally, her reputation continues to be tarnished by an ongoing association with ex-boyfriend Pete Doherty, who is a self-confessed heroin user.
Sources: nydailynews.com, vice.com, mirror.co.uk,