It’s fun having guests, isn’t it? Sure, until they start doing weird things, that is. Sometimes, it’s nice to allow your friends to stay over or to have your family in town for a visit. You spend some time together, and then they return to their own home. Usually, a visit like that goes off without a hitch. What could go wrong with a visit, right? Maybe what you don’t know about your friends' and family’s personal lives, comes out during the visit. You might be surprised at what people will do when they're staying at someone’s house. It might be the thing that makes you think wtf?! It’s hard to say when people, even your friends, will start doing weird things. It can be hard to get the memories of gross things or the destruction that goes on in your house out of your head. There are some pretty weird things that can go on in your own home that you wish never would've happened. It’s something that's probably happened to all of us at one point or another in our lives.
These situations may make you rethink having guests at your own home. It could be the time when you offer to send your guests to a hotel. It’s better than finding puke in your bathroom or your silverware missing. Tune in for some of the most messed stories of guests staying over that you've ever heard.
15 The Couple That Pees Together
It should be a standard rule that if you go out and get drunk and your friend lets you stay at his place, don’t pee somewhere randomly. These people must have the smallest bladders ever. How do you pee the bed as an adult?
“Had a couple stay over one night after one too many drinks... they slept on our pull-out couch; never heard a peep from them. Woke up the next morning and everything was put away as if no one had ever been there. A few weeks later when I went to pull out the couch... I discovered one of them had peed the bed, made up the sheets and then closed the couch without saying anything. It smelled REPULSIVE... they were never allowed to sleep over again.” (Reddit)
What a disgusting story! And these people were friends? Did they not think he would ever find out?
14 Peeing on the Subwoofer
It’s one thing to have your buddy staying over when something ridiculous happens, but imagine being married, and you walk in to find your friend peeing in the middle of the living room. That could be cause for a divorce.
"Buddy of mine got really drunk. We came home, put him to sleep on the couch. My wife yells for me to come into the TV room. He's pissing on my subwoofer and then over to the fireplace. While I'm cleaning his vinegar-smelling piss [off] of everything, he starts projectile vomiting all over the couch, throw rug, and himself. We roll up the rug and put it outside. Take the cushions off the couch and have him take his jeans off to clean them. While I'm putting the[m] in the washer, we hear the front door open. Dude is trying to drive his truck home wearing just his underwear. End up taking his keys and putting him back to bed. When I woke up in the morning, there was a frozen pizza partially cooked with bite marks taken out of it and a check for $150 with 'Rug' written in the memo line.” (Reddit)
He’s probably lucky he wasn’t murdered.
13 Hidden Poop
There’s a good chance that this woman had dementia or something because her behavior when going to the bathroom just doesn’t make any sense. Why hide poo behind the toilet when you could just flush it? Bizarre behavior indeed.
“So, my parents had just bought a house; I was probably 12-13. My mom had her friends come over for a small housewarming party. Now, there was a powder room that we never used; that way it was always clean. Anywho, the night goes by, and everyone leaves. My dad was cleaning up, and went to the powder room and found a turd wrapped up in toilet paper hidden under the toilet! We had a small dog at the time, but we were certain that this poop was too big for our dog. One of the ladies that came that night had pooped outside the toilet, took the time to wrap it up and hide it! Such a weird thing.” (Reddit)
It’s bound to happen at some point, I suppose, when you have guests staying over. You never know what people do in the guest bed; you just have to hope for the best. Most people try to refrain from that sort of thing, but not everyone does. Sometimes, you just can’t wait.
“He was sleeping over, and in the middle of the night, I see this dude punishing the shit out of his meat. I swear, this dude sent it to the f------g shadow realm.” (Reddit)
Wow, he was really putting some work into it. It reminds me of the scene from You, Me and Dupree when Owen was caught whaling on himself in the living room. Talk about embarrassing! It’s always best to do that sort of thing in the shower if you have to; it’s cleaner, and you don’t usually have to worry about someone walking in on you.
11 The Cub Scouts Kid
It’s one thing to have to go do a number 2, but why smear it all over the bathroom?
“When I was young, I was in Cub Scouts, and we decided to build all our Pinewood Derby cars at my house one year. So, my whole little crew comes over, including this kinda weird dude named Ricky. After about an hour of building, Ricky goes into the bathroom for like an hour, and then leaves the bathroom, says goodbye without slowing down, and walks out the front door and gets picked up by his dad outside. My Dad was kinda like WTF, so he goes and looks at the bathroom and god damn. There were tiny little shitty fingerprints on literally every surface of our bathroom. Like seat, handle, toilet paper, walls, sink handles, SOAP BAR, god damn everything. And yes, we had to clean all that shit up. But Ricky ended up with the nickname Dicky Sh!tprints, so joke's on him, I guess.” (Reddit)
10 Puking on the Dog
Drunken guests can be the worst ones of all because they normally can’t control their behavior. You always know which friends to watch over, and they're the ones that usually never get a second chance to spend the night. If someone can’t control themselves when drinking, they should get banned from sleepovers. When it came to this person, not only did they have to deal with a puking friend, but the friend puked all over their dog.
“I was at a party -- and I hear the host yell 'OMG -- Who threw up on my DOG??!?!?!' The dog was a Shepherd mix, a bit stout, so he was walking around with a puddle of puke on his back like it was a saddle.” (Reddit)
Poor dog! There’s a really good chance that this friend wasn't invited to stay another night at the friend’s house again.
9 Guest on Speed
If you have a houseguest on drugs, then you should expect to have something weird happen.
“I got a call from a high school friend asking if I could house a friend of his for a week. The friend had just been relocated to my city and needed transition housing. I agreed. So, this guy arrives. He seems nice enough. A few days in, the situation changes. The night before the 'incident,' I made a big pot of stew for dinner the next day. I get home from work to find my apartment rearranged. He is in the middle of going through my closets when I walk in. He's re-arranging items and throwing boxes out. I stop him. I'm in shock. I then go to heat up some stew. He ate the whole flipping pot. He didn't even leave me a bowl. I was dumbfounded. Later found out the guy was a speed freak.” (Reddit)
8 The Guest That Wouldn’t Leave
What do you do if you have a guest over, and the person never wants to leave? That was the situation that these parents dealt with when their child’s friend stayed for over a month. Talk about overstaying your welcome, and that’s usually a pretty awkward conversation to have. But the kid ended up taking revenge.
“My son's friend came to visit for a weekend and ended up staying for almost a month. When I told him that it was time for him to go home, he left a turd under a shampoo bottle in my shower. I don't know if he actually sh!t in his hand in the shower and then smooshed it under the shampoo bottle for me to find later, or if he fished it out of the toilet and stuck it there....either way.....weirdo!” (Reddit)
7 The Guest Who Cleans
There are some guests who are disasters but who also clean up after themselves.
“Bad guest story! I got blackout drunk for the first time at the house of someone I'd met only a few hours earlier, locked myself in the bathroom, and vomited copiously while clutching myself and sobbing hysterically. I texted them the next day apologizing and offering to clean up any mess that was remaining or pay for any professional cleaning they might have had to do. They responded saying that they had no idea that even happened because apparently, one of the things I did while blackout drunk was scrub the bathroom down and clean up after myself. Apparently, that bathroom hadn't been cleaned since they moved in, and my drunk self could not handle vomiting into such a gross toilet. You'd think this would be a one-off, except I did this again a couple of years later at my own apartment. My roommates were really confused to wake up to a sparkling bathroom. And I still don't understand it.” (Reddit)
6 Grandpa Is in Trouble
There's one thing that guests may not understand, and that’s the value of artifacts that you may have in your home. There are some pretty convincing ornaments that can be found at Pier One, and to the untrained eye, some art can look like something you bought at the Outlet mall. In this case, a relative had no idea about the worth of a piece of art and destroyed it. When Grandpa stayed over, he destroyed a valuable piece of art. But can you stay mad at Grandpa?
“My parents bought a full-sized terracotta soldier that they had shipped home when they were visiting China. About a year later, when my parents weren’t home, my Grandpa painted it solid gray because he thought it looked worn and dated.” (Collegehumor)
Maybe it’s time that Grandpa went to a home. It would be interesting to know the cost of the object that he painted.
5 A Huge Phone Bill
Long distance calls can be expensive, and it’s usually common knowledge to not do that sort of thing at a friend's house. But when you stop taking your meds, anything can happen.
“A friend living in Europe came to the US to visit family. Unbeknownst to us, she had stopped taking her medication and started racking up long-distance phone calls to Europe in the middle of the night/early morning to talk to her husband. But if she called his office, and he wasn’t there, she would just ask to be put on hold until he returned to the office. We ended up getting a $3,000 phone bill before we realized what [had] happened.”(TFLN)
Imagine making a long distance call and then staying on hold while the bill is just wracking up. Hopefully, she paid them back for the phone calls.
4 Drunk Old Lady
Not only is it inappropriate to get hammered at a funeral but to act like a waste case while you’re staying at someone’s house is definitely crossing the line.
“After my mom passed away, her elderly friend came to visit. She asked me for wine. She pounded back four glasses. Then, she whipped out a handful of sleeping pills and downed those. I freaked out. She said she did it all the time. She then proceeded to fall off the chair. She tried going upstairs and started to fall. I caught her and half carried her to bed. I heard her fall hard on the floor. She was laughing and delirious (she was 74). I wanted to call an ambulance, but she flat out refused, so I put her back to bed. This happened three times. The next morning, I asked if she had other friends that she could stay with. I drove her to them.” (TFLN)
3 Door Crashing Friends
These guys sound like complete idiots, but you be the judge.
“My two bonehead friends were at a party at my house this past Halloween. This was a brand new house with all new sh!t in it. I noticed them go missing for a while and went to go check to make sure they were OK. I go to the room where we were keeping all the jackets, and I notice the door is locked. I hear two people giggling, so normally, I would think someone was hooking up or something, but all the women were accounted for. So, I get the keys out to open the door, and the giggling gets louder, and the second I unlock the door, it quickly locks again. Then it happened - The ground starts rumbling and I hear 'FORRRR THHHEEEE SHIIIREEEE' kaboom; these two f----rs idiots break down my door in my brand new house, and I'm on the other side. I got f---ing crushed. I was also holding a beer which got smashed. These guys are going to be in my wedding party this year. The[y] bought me a new door, and trim, and installed it all. My fiance[e] didn't talk to them for weeks, AND she was mad at me, too!” (Reddit)
2 The Bed Wetter
When it comes to guests who are children, you never know what’s going to happen.
“I had a friend that spent the night over at my house when I was 9. She accidentally shit her pants overnight, but instead of going to the bathroom, she just took her underwear off and threw it under my bed. After she had left, my mom told me my room smelled terrible, and she couldn't figure out where it was coming from. Eventually, we found her dirty poopy panties under my bed. After that, she was no longer allowed to stay over. Eventually, she invited me to her place for a sleepover. Since she only had one bed, we had to share it. I woke up in the middle of the night, soaking wet and freezing cold because she had wet the bed and me. I had to lay in that bed all night, just hoping that morning would come soon, so I could get up and take a bath.” (Reddit)
1 Spilled Sauce
The worst thing that can happen to a white carpet is to have anything spilled on it.
“He took a bowl of spaghetti O's to the guest bedroom, in the new house that we had just moved into four months prior, where he proceeded to drop the entire bowl onto our off-white carpet. In his desperate attempt to fix the problem, he used the bath towels and a few linens to try and wipe it up. All this did was grind the sauce and pasta into the carpet. Some people might be really mad about that part of the story, but it gets better. Since he didn't know where the carpet cleaner was, or the steam vac, and since he didn't want to bother my wife or me with his screw up, he proceeded to use bleach to try and "make the stain disappear." After he had left our home, two days later, we found the mess and attempted to clean it up with the steam vac. It removed the majority of the red sauce, but once it dried, if became obvious that the carpets had been bleached. I know you're wondering, what a-hole would do such a thing? That responsible person would be my father-in-law.” (Reddit)
Sources: Reddit; Collegehumor