When the people who actually know what they're doing in this world decided that it was best for this world if we, as human beings, went forward with our technological advancements, we don't think that they realized just how big a can of worms they were opening. Those people behind the scenes would probably feel a little embarrassed if they could see the sort of stuff that Google Earth street view has helped us uncover. Seriously, some of this stuff has some pretty gross implications if you really start to read into what could be happening.
This is the problem when technology decides that privacy is a thing of the past. You used to be able to walk down the street, comfortable that you were somewhat alone. Now, you have no idea who's watching you, capturing every move that you make. This is even truer now that everyone has a camera in his or her jeans pocket. You can literally get away with nothing, which is good if someone is being violent or aggressive, but in every other example, it infringes upon liberty.
So, ready to see some of the weirdest, grossest, and raunchiest images that Google Earth has to offer? Let’s just dive right in!
15 Kids are allowed to run riot these days!
Do any of you have any idea what's actually going on here? We're just asking because we're pretty sure that we don't, and we're scared that it's two children holding someone up with guns. We're hoping that they're toys, but taking a look at their surroundings, we wouldn't be surprised if they weren't toys. It also looks like this was taken somewhere in the UK, which would explain why children feel comfortable waving toy guns around in public. If you did that sort of stuff while you were in certain areas of North America, you'd end up either being arrested or shot. Don’t people think it’s insane that there are actually areas in this world where the police don’t have the power to pull a gun on you? Maybe if we removed guns from the system, then we wouldn’t have so many unarmed (black) people being shot in the street by police officers… Just a thought.
14 Hopefully, they know each other...
So, we don't know whether we should like this image or not. We're either looking at a rather cute exchange between two people who know each other, perhaps romantically, or it's something much more sinister that we don't even want to start thinking about. The fact that the car door is open implies that maybe this was some sort of road-rage incident, which doesn't make us feel too comfortable. However, maybe the woman saw someone whom she hadn't seen for years, someone who had once meant so much to her that she just had to stop her car in the middle of the road and run into his arms like she's in a romantic film. Look, we’re not normally this sentimental, but we’re just looking for any excuse to not see this image as incredibly dark and deeply disturbing, which we’re finding increasingly difficult to achieve if we’re being honest with you.
13 This one is absolutely brilliant
We would honestly hope that what happened here was that they saw the Google car behind them, sped off because there were no other cars on the road, and decided to set up some sort of elaborate prank so that they could get themselves on the internet doing something equal parts stupid and hilarious. The alternative is just as good, as it comes straight from a naughty movie where a man and a woman are driving down an abandoned road when they suddenly get the urge to pull over, and without a care in the world for who might drive by, decide to go at it right there on the hood of the car. That's a real level of hormones that human beings just can’t say no to, that old primordial part of their brain kicking in, pushing past all of the rational stuff that so many years of evolution have forced into them.
12 Looks like somebody just sorted out a deal...
Look, we're not here to judge anyone, and we actually think that people can do whatever they want with their lives and bodies, including selling it on the street to people who drive past. However, even if you're as open minded and liberal as us, you've got to be thinking that people don't want this sort of stuff on the internet. There's a reason that people often go and pick up ladies when it's dark, which is part of the reason they're known as ladies of the night! If you’re the kind of person who can pick someone up with this much confidence, maybe you’re not that bothered by Google Earth throwing your information all over the internet. Thankfully, they make sure to blur any important information so that people can’t begin to stalk these people and sort out some weird form of justice for them choosing to engage in a social taboo.
11 Can't you wait a few minutes?
Not to just completely destroy the romantic nature of stuff like this because we've been young and in love before, too, but do you not think you could wait a few minutes and do this sort of stuff once you get home? We know that sometimes, it feels like you just can't wait, but trust us when we say that you definitely can wait and that you almost definitely should wait as well. There's nothing worse than somebody nearby engaging in what can only be described as a sickening level of public affection, to the point where you're worried you might catch something just by looking at the people engaging in it. We suppose we’re being too harsh because it won’t be long before they’re wishing for the days when they fell into each other’s arms in public. Give it a couple more years, and this sort of public romp will be a thing of the past.
10 Wonder what business they're part of...
Do you reckon that once you've been doing this sort of work for long enough, you just don't really care whether people see you or not anymore? Obviously, it's still illegal, which means there must be some amount of trepidation in just standing outside in the broad daylight like this, but they can always just say that they aren't soliciting if a police officer asks them. It's unlikely they'd be able to conclusively prove otherwise! In a way, we feel quite sorry for these women because you must be in a pretty unpleasant situation to feel the need to go and stand on a street corner in the middle of the day. That's less of a choice and more of a conclusion to a rubbish set of circumstances. Doing stuff like this, you can end up putting yourself in some real danger not only with the police but with your punters as well.
9 And these tw0...
Are we in the wrong for assuming that these women are waiting for cars to come by, not just to wave and shout at them, but for business reasons as well? What do you guys think? Are we justified in what we're implying, or is there actually a chance that we've been lied to our entire lives and that maybe women just like to dress like this when it's a hot day? To be fair to them, they have every right to do that without us assuming that they're up to no good, but it feels like way too much of a coincidence to us to be anything innocent. Plus, why would they be standing in very specific places in public while dressed so provocatively, grouped together as if they’re looking for some safety in numbers? These ladies are looking to make some money, and they’ve thankfully had their faces blurred by Google.
8 What city is this?
Look, we may not know all about the world of prostitution and stripping, but we're fairly sure that this sort of soliciting is actually illegal in most places in the world. Are we wrong? We know that this sort of thing will fly in places like Amsterdam, which this image could be from, to be fair, but is there anywhere else that can actually get away with this? We understand why it's illegal if we're being honest, but also understand the arguments for it being legal as well. We suppose the thing that bothers us the most about images like this is that actual women are being displayed in windows as if they're the same sort of window dressing you'd find at any other high street, which we’re really not comfortable with at all. That sort of thing can only help society drop further into patriarchal sexism if you ask us.
7 This man has had enough of the system!
We're making fun of this guy, but we also have a real problem with the way that Google thinks it's alright to drive around and document everything that's going on around the world. Who the hell is Google to be doing that? They're a company after all. It's not like they're a government agency. We'd be lying if we said we hadn't flicked the bird at a few Google cars in our time as well, but there's just something so funny about this man. We're not sure what it is, but it almost just feels like a pathetic gesture rather than a bit of fun with friends. Do you know what we mean? What we will say, though, is that this man's surroundings look so nice that we don't get why he's so angry. If you live in the middle of a city, this sort of anger is understandable, but look at those picturesque surroundings!
6 Childish but funny
Why is it that anybody doing this still makes us laugh to this day? We're way too old to find somebody mooning funny, and yet every time we see it, it never fails to at least get a giggle out of us. Are we in the minority here? Do you look at stuff like this and just shake your head, despairing at what civilized society has become? Well, then, you're definitely way too big for your boots, and we reckon that you need to learn how to have a little bit more fun. For some reason, it's even funnier when a white person does it, those pasty cheeks out in the wind for all to see. If we were smarter, we'd write essays and papers on why it is that our brains find mooning so inherently funny. We'd probably end up writing some about farting as well if we're being honest. Yes, we really are that childish.
5 We hope he was buying someone a gift
We're not trying to say that this guy couldn't have been going in to buy something for himself, which is obviously fine as well, but we really hope he wasn't going in just to stare at women and touch frilly underwear while nobody was looking. We know this sounds like a longshot to some people, mostly men, but go and have a conversation with somebody in the know, and you'll realize that these sorts of unpleasant events are happening a lot more than you realize. People need to wake up to the reality that is the lecherous man because they're everywhere, and they're gross. Not only that, but they can end up dangerous if their tendencies toward the opposite sex aren’t curbed before they develop into something much more sinister. You may be skeptical, but go have a look online, and we think you’ll be surprised about what's happening out there.
4 They're clearly just bored
We can't speak for everyone else, but this image really speaks to one of the worst times in our lives. People always act like being dead young is amazing, which it can be in a lot of ways, but they often neglect to mention how mind-numbingly boring it can be as a child, having absolutely nothing to do but sit on walls and flick the bird at passing cars. People always act surprised when children this age act out in some way, but we're not surprised at all! Wouldn't you be doing the same sort of stuff if you spent your life wandering the streets around your home, desperate to find something even slightly entertaining to do with your time? We're honestly so happy to be older now and able to do things with our lives. We relish the responsibilities because they come with so much more freedom.
3 Where are these two headed?
Honestly, we wish we had an invite to whatever sort of naughty party they're headed to because it looks like it's going to be a lot of fun, the sort of fun that we wish we were being invited to. It helps that these two women look like they've got particularly good bodies as well. If we were forced into a costume like that, it'd look decidedly worse. Still, we'd be willing to put up with that little bit of embarrassment if it meant that we could still party with them. By the looks of things, it wouldn't be long before you could take the skintight suit off anyway if you catch our drift. In fact, that’s an interesting question. To what lengths of embarrassment would you be willing to go if it meant that you could have some free but naughty fun with a group of complete strangers?
2 Fighting or loving?
Seriously? Again? How is it that Google has managed to catch this many couples going at it in public? Maybe this is something with us? Maybe people are going at it in the middle of the street all the time, and we're the ones who are out of the loop? We'd like to think that this isn't true, but then, we've been wrong before. How about you guys? Are you constantly dropping to the street with your significant other on such a regular basis that it's likely you've been caught on camera doing it at some point? Call us cynical, but we just find it hard to believe that this is such a regular occurrence that all of this has been innocently done. What we’re trying to say is, there's somebody at Google who's paying people to put themselves in compromising positions in places they know they’ll be taking images of that day, purely for the laugh.
1 Immediate social media profile picture right here!
Look, we're not trying to glorify the sort of behavior that would get you arrested or anything, but if we were the kind of person already engaging in that sort of thing, we'd definitely be having any images of us being arrested as our profile picture. There's something really funny about it, but we can't quite put our fingers on it. The only way you can save face in situations like this is to totally own it, so that's what we would do. We’re going to feel pretty gross about ourselves if it turns out this guy was engaging in some really unpleasant crime. We’re obviously just assuming that the guy is getting cuffed for either stealing or drug possession, which is somewhat of a victimless crime really. Who knows if he’s actually been right into some of the heavy stuff that we would really rather not talk about if we’re honest.