"Use your words." That's what they used to tell us on the schoolyard to persuade our fists back down to our sides, and it's sound advice to live by especially when you're an adult. As a kid, if you took a swing at a classmate you risked detention or, sometimes worse, a punch in return. But as an adult, if you make the choice to engage in fisticuffs, there's a good chance you'll end up in jail, or (and luckily for us this next part relates to both children and adults alike) you'll end up on YouTube.
There's plenty of footage of bullies getting the best of their unfortunate victims, but there aren't nearly half as much of uplifting vids of the victims giving the bullies a taste of their own medicine. Luckily for you, I've plucked a few flowers from the field and posted them here so you don't have to do any filtering yourself. So I hope you're in the mood to root for the little guy, because here are 15 videos of bullies getting owned by their victims:
15 Some Weirdo Gets Put To Sleep
Now, I can't know for sure if there's any truth behind this "Seal Team 6" rumor. It's hard to believe a member America's most elite and elusive strike force was not only on a Los Angeles subway (a transport service that is so rarely used locals aren't even aware of its existence) but allowed himself to be filmed eliminating a threat. However, I can confirm this anonymous hero is built like a damn redwood tree and somehow managed to go unnoticed until he chose to take down his prey, so some of his credentials do check out. This is one of those bully videos that leaves you uncertain as to who the bully exactly is in the argument. We see a wiry fella, and although shirtless and agitated, it seems like he's just a little fussy because a few of his fellow passengers called him a "weirdo" - an accusation our main character firmly disputes. But after a few seconds, he makes it clear he's the aggressor and has no intention of retreating, until 1/6th of Seal Team makes the call for him and quickly sends Tweety birds flying circles around this poor guy's head with a flawless rear naked choke. The man is now shirtless and asleep on the train and wakes up to the giant's foot pressed against his chest to ensure he didn't get back up. And THAT is why we celebrate Veteran's Day.
14 "I Dare You To Hit Me." - Kid Who Gets Hit
I. Love. This. Video. It gets you riled up the same way a good underdog sports movie does. Remember how you felt when the Mighty Ducks beat those rich kids in the finals? This is similar in the sense that this young man one, two, three, triple dekes all over the other kid's face. The first reason this video is so perfect is the fact that it takes place in the boy's locker room - so classic. Second is because this little round boy in the "athletic" shorts (yes, athletic is in quotations due to his roundness) totally deserves to get his butt kicked. He dedicates over two minutes to antagonizing this poor kid in the jeans. He repeatedly shoves him, calls him names, and dares him to take a swing. The kid tries to take the high road, instructing his aggressor to kindly walk away, but if adrenaline was measured in thermometers, this kid's would shoot to the top and then burst like an old cartoon. He finally decides he's had enough, brings this prick to the tile with a headlock and does his best Stone Cold Steve Austin mounted punch combo while his one-time-bully does his best to avoid a bloody nose. If you want to see what a rush of adrenaline looks like, just skip to the end and watch this champ finally let up and scream at the punk beneath him.
13 Skinny Jeans vs. Khaki Pants
"What are you gonna do about it? You're not even gonna f***in' man up and hit me." Bullies really need to stop asking to get punched. According to the research I've conducted on YouTube in the past hour, bullies get socked in the face 100% of the time they request it. Refer to the above video for conclusive evidence of my results. In it, you'll witness a teenager dressed in plaid and skinny jeans being antagonized by a fellow student in a gray sweatshirt and khakis. You'll also notice a good chunk of the student body surrounding them in a hallway salivating in hopes to catch a glimpse of a fight, and their cravings are satisfied as soon as khaki pants shoves our skinny-jeaned friend. The shoved casually removes his backpack and dodges two, count them TWO punches before unleashing hell on his opponent and sending him to the floor three times. I'll hand it to this bully, he keeps getting up after each knockdown, but after the third time embarrassment starts to set in and he finally steps away as requested by the winner of this fight.
The only thing louder than the crowd's gasp during this video is the sound the bully's jaw makes when his victim's fist connects with his chin. Seriously, it makes that noise Pillsbury rolls make when you crack open the cylinder or the sound effect they use in movies when someone gets hit in the head with a golf ball. It's difficult to decipher what exactly the little backpack wearing punk is saying to his much larger opponent, but we can clearly see him pushing and kicking him. Until that is, the guy gets fed up and fast and has limited spare time to settle the situation. This kid lays the little jerk out with one punch...without even dropping his backpack. And then he just strolls off on his phone like nothing happened. So cool. There's some scuffle in the background as well, but the real showcase here is this kid left speechless on the sidewalk (probably because his jaw is broken).
11 Road Rage At The WalMart
This guy looks like a fish except fish have better hair. This video over a biker following a driver that cut him off to a Walmart parking lot went viral about a year ago and it's a great one. "You seem to be in quite the hurry," the biker says and it leads to an onslaught of vulgarity from this trout-faced heathen. He starts with a broad description of how he had sex with the biker's mother and then gets into the specifics of said intimate encounter i.e. how they did it, how many people were there and how long it took them to leave etc. Now, the biker takes it all in stride until this loud mouth decides to hump his motorcycle, that was the last straw. After that, all bets are off. A few punches lead to a few more and before you know it our antagonist is rolling around on the pavement beside his car, but he ain't no quitter. He gets back up again and again and again and keeps up his irritating jibber jabber right up until the end of the video.
10 If He Doesn't Want To Fight, SomebodyWill
I've been replaying this video over and over trying to figure out exactly what's happening and I'm pretty sure I've cracked the case. A group of teens are walking home from school, crossing a park or the baseball fields of said school when this skinny jagoff in the red shirt decides he wants to get some rep (as they say). He continuously picks on a classmate in a blue shirt (who by all standard measurements is a bigger opponent) who makes it crystal clear he wants nothing to do with a fight. The boy even gives up his cigarettes in sacrifice, but still, the red shirt puts up his dukes and takes it as far as punching the other boy repeatedly, but instead of fighting back the boy just says, "I don't know what I did." This is a classic bully vs. victim scenario and it ends with the emergence of a hero. Right around the two-minute mark, a crusader dressed in all black darts into frame and takes this bully down in two strikes. He drops a few more blows while screaming, "He doesn't want to fight you!" A hero indeed, and most likely the plot of Ben Affleck's Batman movie.
9 Blind Kids Are Off Limits
I included a little local news coverage in this video to show how big of a deal this was, and rightfully so. The video starts up pretty abruptly and we're not totally sure what made the little runt want to bully a blind kid but that's how we're thrown into this mess. It's also how we're promptly thrown out because within the first seven seconds the kid gets exactly what's coming to him. Out of nowhere, a hero emerges and he comes in swinging and he's furious anyone would lay a hand on a handicapped person. Once the aggressor is dropped to the pavement, our hero pauses for a moment to ask if the victim is okay and proceeds to move him safely out of harm's way. He then makes damn sure the bully is aware of the rules of bullying, which are, from what I've gathered, you don't hit blind kids. If you're interested in the post-fight analysis then you'll be treated to the guy's fellow classmates singing his praises for being the hero the school needed.
8 Battle Over A Bottle
Thirty seconds. That's all it took for this fight to escalate immensely. There seems to be a lot of these videos in which the victim claims they either don't know what they did to deserve getting bullied, or they don't know the bully at all. This video has a little bit of both, and like some of the others on this list, it's difficult to tell who the bully is at first, but for the sake of storytelling the unseen girl who has the higher ground (by standing on a bleacher seat at a football game) seems to be the antagonist here. It becomes clear she's a villain when she dumps an entire water bottle over the poor girl's head, which is pretty embarrassing in front of an entire crowd. However, the victim here wastes no time in settling the score and yanks out this mean girl's leg from underneath her and launches her against the guardrail like a midmatch WWE maneuver. She then proceeds to deliver kick after kick to the girl's face and side. A lot can happen in thirty seconds.
7 The Mixed Martial Artist
One of the main reasons you shouldn't go starting fights with random people is because you don't know their backstory. At any given moment, your potential enemies could be in the gym training for that faithful day someone tries to stir some sh*t up, and this video is a perfect example of such an event. This little kid, who looks to me like an all around runt, is getting pushed around by the larger boy in the black, but as we know it's not the size of the dog in the fight, so the little guy doesn't consider backing down for a second. Quite the contrary, he seems casually thrilled to be showing off his moves. And oh my, what moves they are! He's throwing punches, he's kicking, his ground and pound technique is flawless not to mention his scissor takedown AND that arm bar that almost sent his bully's elbow flying across the room in the wrong direction.
6 "Let's Just Box"
Another locker room classic, only this time with more green. Here we see two young men about to come at odds. While it looks like the lanky kid in the red shorts is reluctant to accept his bully's challenge, it's admirable how quick he is to raise his fists, and while the other kid has more pizzazz and charisma (you can tell by the adorable little shimmy he does when he's squaring up), our lanky underdog has calculated timing. He lets the bully shimmy a few degrees to the right, and just when he's by the lockers, that's when red shorts "takes the gloves off" as they say and spears his aggressor right into the metal wall of storage. Hard. He then throws the kid onto the floor, holds him down with his body weight and drops fists of fury onto his bully's face to the point of it being kind of hard to watch...if it wasn't so damn satisfying that is.
5 When Shop Class Goes Wrong
This is a great one because the bullied is so adamant about not wanting to fight for two reasons - 1. He doesn't want to engage in a physical altercation, 2. He doesn't want to engage in a physical altercation because he's afraid of what he'll do to his bully. A bully that is relentless in egging him on. For the first 90 seconds of this two and a half minute video, the bully is following this other student like they were attached at the hip. They go from room to room and still the bully is asking for trouble. The whole class is watching, you even hear one kid say "that's right, just walk away, that's smart." And the guy practices the art of taking the high road for as long as he can until he beats the living hell out of this kid. Like wow. Total beat down complete with war cry level victory taunting. The bully gets up asking for seconds and let me tell ya, our protagonist serves him up a double order of knuckle sandwiches until he's full.
4 MMA Skills Win The Battle of The Skatepark
Our scene begins with a group of teens, clutching their skateboards close by their sides while they surround a young man dressed in plaid and he looks ready to go. His fists are up, his legs are a little more than shoulder width apart, he's in a fighter's stance and he's prepared for whatever comes his way. And this is good because what comes his way is a guy twice his size both up and down and side to side. Plus, this bully walks like a man who punches through walls. He's big and slow but looks strong, like the Hulk after a large meal. What the big slow Hulk doesn't know, is our battle ready friend isn't just mimicking what he saw on UFC, he knows what he's doing, at least enough to drop this guy. Which he does, and one kick and a flurry of punches later and this kid has his bully in a headlock and the crowd is pleading with him to release his grip.
3 Middle School Meltdown
This is a great one. These boys can't be over the age of thirteen and they're about to learn the rules of the jungle that is middle school. The kid in the beanie is pulling the classic bully move - stalking his would-be-victim at close range in hopes of inciting a violent reaction. Seems to me like their plan never quite seems to work out in their favor. When this kid in the beanie doesn't piss the other kid off enough, he starts poking at him, pulling at his backpack, and eventually just starts punching him and that's when it happens. The kid eats a few hits before he inevitably loses his cool. He starts swinging so fast his arms are just blurs on the screen. The teacher doesn't even want to break it up. She vocalizes her dislike for fighting, but stays clear of any flying fists. After the fight is split up, the victimized kid bellows an adrenaline-fueled battle yell, "Stop bullying me!"
2 SxSW Sneak Attack
Festivals are shit shows no matter how big or how long or who's playing there, and yes I'm aware South x Southwest is billed as a tech tradeshow, but c'mon, Coachella is billed as an arts festival and last I checked feathered headdresses covered in vodka and Gatorade wasn't considered art. Anyway, here we see a built guy with a head that's mostly hair antagonizing an older man that seems a little drunk. And hey, we don't know what lead up to this so maybe the guy with the hair is somehow in the right. While that may be true, it all flew out the window the moment he starts whistling the most annoying whistle I've ever heard. Luckily, a silent voyeur doesn't remain silent any longer and cleans this dude's clock with one punch. Cue music. Roll credits.
1 Holy Crap! This Just Turns Into A Free For All!
I really cannot get enough of this video and I'll tell you why...because it's visual documentation of humans descending into madness. Sincerely, sociology professors should have their students study this video in class because we need to know how we, as humans, can avoid this type of hysteria again. It all starts with this girl being harassed by the camerawoman and another girl. After a while, the victim finally gives in and the two start going at it. Then a crowd starts forming. A teacher gets involved. A larger crowd starts forming. The teacher splits the two apart. Another girl dives in the mix and all hell breaks loose from there because no matter how hard the teacher tries, the girls keep breaking free from her grasp so they can keep beating the hell out of each other. There isn't much a resolution here, and frankly, it's more a video of a girl sticking up to bullies rather than the aforementioned bullies getting owned, but it still deserves to be here.