Everyone remembers gym class. It was the one part of school where you didn't have to worry about crunching numbers, grammar, or when the constitution was signed. For athletic kids, it was a welcome opportunity to get out some of that pent up energy from sitting in a desk for hours on end. And one of the things that made this class most memorable for a lot of people was the gym teacher. Whether you hated this teacher or loved them, chances are they were a real character. It takes a special kind of person to teach gym, mostly because gym class is when all the shenanigans happen. A gym teacher has to be able to command the respect of the kids, as well as cause a little bit of fear when the situation calls for it.
It comes as no surprise that many gym teachers have a lot of crazy stories to tell. Some of these teachers have experienced things so crazy that they just couldn't contain themselves any longer - they had to tell someone. Luckily for us, some of those teachers chose to go on the Internet to tell these stories anonymously, on sites like Reddit and other forums. We've scoured the web for the wildest, weirdest, and most shocking stories told by gym teachers about real events that happened during their classes. Some of these confessions will make you laugh, some will make you cry, and others are just downright creepy. But more than anything, these confessions will entertain you.
15 When A Kid Asked Him How To Do It Doggy Style
As some of you no doubt are aware, gym teachers are usually given the dubious task of explaining the ins and outs of sex to their students. After all, sex is technically a physical activity, and it does require a little bit of skill. Although gym teachers are not supposed to give their students tips on how to have sex, you can always bet that a curious student will ask those kinds of questions anyway. You probably remember sexual education class from your own days in high school, and how everyone thought it was hilarious.
One gym teacher remembers his own awkward experience with the mandatory class. He recalls: "While teaching a class of 5th grade boys about puberty I was asked, 'How do you have sex doggy style?' I replied with, 'Ask your parents, don't use the Internet.' You might think that questions like these are a rare occurrence, but the truth is that they happen all the time. Students seem to revel in asking questions that make teachers squirm with discomfort. But you know what they say: there are no stupid questions!
14 This Girl Would Do "Anything" For Better Grades
While you might think that student/teacher relationships only happen in those raunchy adult films, a quick glance at the news every once in a while will tell you that students really do have sex with their teachers, and it's more common than you might think. And one can't deny the temptation these gym teachers much be under. Sometimes, it's hard to say no. One gym teacher remembers a moment just like this, when his moral fortitude was put to the absolute test:
"She came in wearing a track suit, the kind you might wear to the gym, not so much anything else that required modesty. The top was unzipped, displaying her impressive breasts, which were clearly meant to be on display. She stated she was 'willing to do anything' to improve her grade. For one, brief, glorious moment, a multitude of scenarios ran through my mind. After that one, brief, glorious moment, I walked her out of my office and into the professor's office without saying a word."
13 When Your PE Teacher Is Way Too Fat...
The stereotypical picture a lot of people have in their head when they think of a PE teacher is someone who's in great shape. But as many students will tell you, this often isn't the case. Many students are a little confused over the logic of being instructed on the benefits of fitness and having a healthy body by someone who clearly does not value those things. And it's not only the students who complain about having fat PE teachers. Other PE teachers, like this one, talk about their concerns with the growing trend:
"There is a PE teacher that I work with that is overweight, chews tobacco, and clearly has limited personal hygiene. I am embarrassed to be seen with him because I think we have an image to up hold. I am not saying that you need to be a body builder with 3% body fat to be a PE teacher but I do think that you need to maintain some sort of physical fitness. It is hypocritical to ask a student to pass a physical fitness test that the teacher couldn't pass."
12 He Beat A Kid On Steroids In An Arm Wrestling Match
While a lot of PE teachers complain about their students not taking their class seriously, there are some who approach fitness with the utmost discipline. In fact, they might even take it too seriously. Even at the high school level, there are always one or two kids who work out like crazy, getting massive muscles in the process. When asked who the biggest kid in his class was, this PE teacher tells a story of a kid who was quite obviously on steroids. But he still managed to beat him in an arm wrestling match!
"Damn, I don't remember his name but I have to believe he was on steroids. I was a pretty big kid (6'1 220 lbs. probably around 10-12 percent body fat) but this dude was not only shredded to the gills but he was ridiculously jacked. We arm wrestled in the cafeteria one day. He didn't want to but our friends made him because I was undefeated (even beat the security guards who were men). I took him down like a child. Huge confidence booster."
11 Female PE Teacher Likes What She Sees
Nowadays, there are lots of female PE teachers, and the profession is definitely not as dominated by men as it used to be. And that's a great thing. But it's even better for one particular PE teacher, who admits that although she would never do anything with a student, she can't help but sneak a peek at some of the more attractive bodies on display during her class.
"Let me start out by saying that I would NEVER do anything with a student. Not only is it illegal but immoral too. That being said, there's no harm in looking. Gym clothes and PE clothes are revealing. If a girl has a nice butt and/or nice legs, I'll look. If she has big boobs and they're bouncing, I'll notice. If a guy has a big penis, there will be a bulge, and depending on his underwear, it could be flopping around as well. It's difficult to ignore that. Also, in the 13 years I've been teaching, there has been accidental nudity that catch you off-guard. And I'm not alone with this confession. My fellow gym/PE teachers have experienced the same things. It's human nature to look at another person in a sexual way, even if you don't intend on engaging in any sexual activity. Sorry if I offend anyone."
10 More "Health" Education Hilariousness
There are tons more hilarious stories from sexual education classes that PE teachers are forced to teach, often against their will. Part of the reason they hate it so much is having to answer all of the embarrassing (and often dumb) questions kids ask about sex. But no matter what they ask, the teacher is forced to keep a straight face and answer the question as seriously as possible. One hilariously awkward situation arose when one PE teacher was asked if a girl could get pregnant from... well, read for yourself:
"While teaching a class of 7th graders about human growth and reproduction, I was asked, 'If you ejaculate in a girls mouth can she get pregnant?' To which I replied, 'No.' The student replied by saying 'Oh phew!'"
At first I thought that the kid was just messing around when he asked that question. But the fact that he seems so relieved after hearing the answer makes me think he actually thought that might be a possibility. Wow. I guess that's why we have sexual education classes in the first place!
9 The Biggest PE Fail Ever
As a PE teacher, it's their job to demonstrate the correct way to do a whole range of physical activities. Sometimes teachers are forced to do some pretty challenging stuff, but in order to maintain the respect of the kids they're teaching, they have to pull everything off without embarrassing themselves. Unfortunately, this isn't always easy. Once in a while, it's inevitable that PE teachers will epicly fail in front of their students. But this fail might just be the biggest of all time:
"I'm a PE teacher at an elementary school. We were in the middle of a gymnastics unit and I was demonstrating a forward roll for a 3rd grade class. When I flipped, I saw something pink fly out of my pants leg...it was a pair of my daughter's underwear that must have clung to the inside of my pants when I got them out of the dryer. I picked them up before any of them really noticed exactly what they were."
8 He Wore The Wrong Shorts To Work...
Another PE teacher had an equally massive fail. Only this time, it had nothing to do with the physical activities he was doing, but instead the clothes he chose to wear. More specifically, the shorts. You see, this time, he decided to wear some translucent yellow gym shorts. Only there was one big problem: He didn't know they were translucent. And this caused quite a stir when kids started to notice what was underneath those shorts...
"A few semesters I also taught PE. One day I packed a pair of translucent yellow gym shorts. I didn't realize they were translucent and showed my leopard print underwear until after teaching an entire step class - one of my students told me after."
Wow. That has to be embarrassing. I'm sure he got a few laughs about it though. Hopefully he was able to just laugh it off. But I'm sure none of his students ever looked at him in the same way ever again!
7 She Can't Stop Saying Dirty Things
PE teachers have to be some of the most vocal teachers. It's definitely not for the faint of heart. Teachers can't be shy in this situation, they have to be loud, and win the respect of their kids. Otherwise, they will walk all over the PE teacher. Sometimes this means yelling out orders at the top of your lungs. Only sometimes, these orders can come out wrong... Very wrong. As in, full of sexual innuendo. This one PE teacher discovered she had a knack for yelling out the most inappropriate things, albeit totally unintentionally.
"Most of my embarrassing moments happen when I'm teaching P.E. because I never catch potential sexual innuendos ahead of time while I am teaching. 'Ok, now everyone grab your two balls and hang onto them,' 'If you don't put it in right now you are out of the game,' 'You can swallow it or spit it out, your choice (gum),' and on and on. I usually only notice when the class starts giggling, and then I have to pretend that I don't know why they are."
6 Girls Busted For Wearing Thongs To Gym Class
This particular confession doesn't come from a PE teacher per se, but it does come from someone who witnessed the entire incident, and it was just too hilarious to leave out. I just wish I was there to see the look on these girls' faces.
"I had a PE teacher in high school yell at a couple girls for wearing thongs to the class. Both looked mortified, one claimed she wasn't. The teacher said I can see them, you're both wearing thongs! One girl checks her underwear. The teacher meant flip flops. They were wearing flip flops to PE. It was embarrassing for everyone."
This just goes to show how outdated teachers' language can be sometimes. Who calls flip-flops thongs, anyway? That was bound to cause confusion. Maybe she did it intentionally, just to embarrass them. All I know is that their faces must have been bright red.
5 He Said Something Naughty
PE is a class where kids can get away with a little bit more naughtiness than they might be able to in a classroom setting. High school kids have tons of pent up energy, so running around and getting some exercise can blow off some much needed steam. For the most part, PE teachers allow their kids to have a little bit of fun. After all, it's PE. It's not meant to be taken that seriously. But sometimes, it's the PE teachers themselves who spark up some pretty naughty behavior, even if it is completely unintentional. Such was the case when one PE teacher made a comment filled with sexual innuendo. Inevitably, some smart-mouthed kid picked up on it:
"We were putting up wrestling mats and couldn't get it through the door, so I told the guys just to shove it in as hard as they could. One of them pipes up, 'Maybe later with John's mom.' Class was dismissed after that..."
4 Kids Played A Cruel Prank On Him
Of all the teachers in a school setting, PE teachers probably get the worst of it when it comes to practical jokes. They think that PE teachers are not "real" teachers, and they can be treated with little respect. Obviously this is not pleasant for PE teachers, who get enough humiliation from the other teachers and the general public for the same reason. One PE teacher tells a story of a time when his kids played an extremely cruel joke on him that almost gave him a heart attack:
"One time kids run up to me yelling that little Mike hit his head and is not moving. I ran after them and found the boy on the floor, limp, eyes closed. Quickly checked the boy into a safe position, checked pulse, breathing and ordered rest of the boys to go get the nurse NOW. Instead of doing as told, they stood around, grins on their faces. 'GO GET THE F**KING NURSE NOW YOU DUMB SH*TS!!!!' And then Mike started laughing, and it all turned to be a practical joke. I was never so close to doing what Anakin did and slaughtering the younglings."
3 A Girl Took His Phone And Put It In Her Top
You have to admit, it must be pretty damn awkward to be a male gym teacher in a class full of hot 18-year-old girls. The temptation must be overwhelming at times. And I bet it's even worse when all the girls think you're cute, and are constantly flirting with you. That would be enough to drive a man insane. We all know that girls flirt with their teachers from time to time, but sometimes it goes way too far. Such was the case when a PE teacher had a girl flirt with him in an extremely suggestive manner...
"A girl once took my phone and put it between her breasts. I didn't know how to respond, I was merely an intern. Same girl put 'cute' as evaluation of my teaching.. Awkward."
Sounds like she really wanted this guy. As an intern, he was probably speechless, and had no idea what to do next. Let's be honest, it's pretty hard to know what the correct thing to do in that situation would be.
2 Totally Inappropriate
Another gym teacher explains that it's often a good idea to think before you talk, especially in the context of a PE class. What we might think is appropriate in our everyday lives is pretty inappropriate to say in front of a class full of kids. But sometimes, words come out before you can really think about what you just said. On PE teacher gives us a prime example of one of those situations:
"One day a kid asked me where my jacket was and I said what I always said when someone asked me where something was- 'I sold it for drug money.' I felt like an idiot as soon as it came out of my mouth. I did more embarrassing things but that's probably the most embarrassing thing I said."
Honestly, that's not too embarrassing, but I would still like to see the look on that kid's face as he heard his PE teacher saying that.
1 He Accidentally Bashed "Homos"
Another PE teacher who ended up putting his foot in his mouth was this guy:
"A student of mine randomly asked me what I thought about hobos. Now this student was definitely having some questions about his sexual orientation. In replying I accidentally said the following: 'it is very sad that many homos have mental health issues.' The second I realized I'd said homos, not hobos, I glanced furtively at the student, and we both knew what I had said. I powered on, and then proceeded to say homos again, I don't know what was going on in my mind that day."
Wow. I can only imagine how awkward that situation must have been. I mean, he said himself it was pretty clear that this kid was in fact gay. So there must have been a ton of unspoken tension between these guys as he said "homo" instead of "hobo" not once, but twice. It's situations like these that make me never want to be a teacher. Ever.