They say that girls are made of sugar and spice and everything nice, but some girls are more naughty than nice and have less sugar and more spice. The ladies on this list all have one thing in common, they’ve been caught with their hand in the cookie jar— on camera! After most of the female crooks on this list got caught in the act, instead of showing remorse, they show their true colors and try to throw down with the people who caught them, usually the ones who were being stolen from. I’m all for standing up for what you believe in but standing up for yourself after being caught in the act for stealing soap, snacks or even a little snickerdoodle, that is an entirely different thing.
These confrontations are sometimes funny, sometimes outrageous and sometimes downright baffling. It can be hard to know what goes on in the mind of a criminal, even a petty one, but one thing is for certain… these gals with larceny in their hearts are not the brightest crayons in the box. These fifteen are not seasoned pros or criminal masterminds. Especially in the era of recording that we’re currently living in, you’d think these girls would be a little more crafty about stealing or you know… just not have stolen in the first place.
15. Caught With Her Hand In The Cookie Jar
Flirting can be fun, but let’s face it; it’s work. Late night flirting in the mall with a guy who’s trying to close up? That is some serious advanced you-better-know-that-he’s-into-you flirting. And unfortunately for this little cookie monster, it seems that he’s just a really polite guy and not very interested in catching a date with a confection customer. Just a nice guy standing behind the counter, trying to close out his cookie sales for the day. But this snickerdoodle thief just can’t seem to stop arguing with the shop-owner (aka digging herself a bigger hole). To make matters worse, her poor innocent friend is standing idly by, forced to witness the whole mess. My only question is, will you ever be able to get the shop-owner’s voice saying “Boo boo” out of your head? Took me a few days.
14. Take My Money! Or I’m Taking The Stuff!
What doesn’t the guy behind the camera understand? This girl doesn’t need to steal. Not even. It’s just that the store won’t take the $100 bills she is trying to give to them. How hard is this to comprehend? Because they wouldn’t take the Benjamins she had flowing freely from her pockets, the only sensible thing to do was to take what she wanted. Right?
Thief logic is what that’s called. I personally love that this girl is trying so hard to justify her criminal acts while practically running away with the guy chasing after her. Then she has the nerve to tell him that he’ll be arrested for following her! The nerve! She does seem to be the one girl on this list who might have gotten away with her crime. Talk about turning the tables.
13. Be Right Back With Your Credit Card
Is Starbucks not paying their employees enough? Either that or this brash barista tends to run up an unusually high grocery bill at the local Ralph’s. It’s pretty nervy to take a drive-through customer’s credit card to the back of the store for um, yeah, sure, more receipt paper once she already had it in her hand. The customer’s helpless. What could she do? Reach through the window? Luckily, the woman’s bank was nice enough to alert her of the HUGE grocery bill (enough to feed a couple of teenage boys and their friends!) and once the woman saw the criminal on their security footage, she knew exactly who it was— the coffee crook! Her confrontation is amazing, she handles herself well and it doesn’t get better than when her husband asks her what’s going on. She smiles and says, “We’re gonna get even. That’s what we’re gonna do.” And then proceeds to do a little shoulder shimmy à la those famous Hillary Clinton GIFs. Go girl!
12. Call It On A Technicality! No Harm, No Foul, Right?
Wrong. So very wrong. The girl that you see getting thrashed around against the soda machines and trash can with two Loss Prevention employees and one Walmart associate admits to taking items in Walmart without paying but since she didn’t technically leave the store with anything, she doesn’t see what the fuss is all about. My question is if she didn’t leave the store’s property with the stolen items crammed into her little panda backpack, where was she going? To sit by the soda machines? She’s a contradicting little criminal, isn’t she? “I dropped everything!” she claims multiple times along with “Give me my stuff!” She means, the stuff that isn’t hers? Once she opens her backpack up with the help of the Loss Prevention employee and items she didn’t pay for come tumbling out, she mumbles, “Oh, I’m sorry, I forgot.” Yeah, sure, that’s what they all say! The only reason I don’t think this little crime bug got away is that Walmart is known for having their own security as well as gigantic parking lots. Even if she did get away, she must forever endure the shame of being one of the fifteen dumbest female shoplifters caught on camera!
11. Should Have Thought About That Before
She thought the slogan was, “Expect low security. Pay nothing.” Hate to break it to this bullseye bandit but continuously sobbing “I don’t want to go to jail” simply won’t have an effect on these crime-hardened and seasoned Loss Prevention Target police detectives. No ma’am, you’re headed straight for a trip in the cold and stoney lonesome Target jail. Many have been dragged to Target Prison never to return again…. to that same Target store. Because they’ve been banned. Target. Does. Not. Play. Around. As you can clearly see from this team of pros who take care of business near the exit and haul the crying thief away. Zero sympathy from surrounding Target customers as they go about their day. What’s the need to steal at Target anyway? She could have saved five percent right away if she had opened a RedCard account!
10. Fight In The Parking Lot!
Mike B. Walmart employee. Thief deterrent. Security guard. World Star Hip Hop contributor. Clearly, this isn’t the blue bandanna bandit’s best day. She seems confused as to where she is. Walmart, K-Mart, they’re all the same after a while. I don’t think I’m going out on a limb to say that this female thief has bigger problems than being arrested for theft and banned from the big smiley face store. She seems to be completely out of it, tying the bandanna around her head at the self-checkout (which is monitored with security cameras, by the way) and doing some weird kind of jiggle where she is obviously hiding things in her bag. Then she takes a swig of something, has a brief cough attack and makes a beeline for the exit door with a big reusable shopping tote that she helped herself too as well as everything in it. Poor bandanna girl’s day is about to get much, much worse. Not only is her worst nightmare, Mike B. on the case but he’s bringing in back up! Fight! Fight! Fight in the parking lot!
9. Dump Everything Out!
“What’s in the bag, ma’am?” Apparently, a ton of stuff. This Rhode Island retail robber just couldn’t help herself when she visited her local clothing store one day. And what do you know, lucky day, she just so happened to have on her favorite big bag. It’s actually a magical bag, kind of like a black hole. It can fit tons of stuff, skirts, dresses, shirts— but only if you’re sly. She was not. How humiliating to get busted in front of so many people, all chanting “dump everything out!” She must have felt so foolish. Good thing she didn’t get body slammed like some of the other dumb female shoplifters on this list because her choice of outfit does not work for the life of shopping mall crime she’s chosen for herself. Skirt and flip flops? How can she run away from mall security in that?
8. And A Female Wrestling Star Is Born…
Soap. It’s an every day necessity to stay healthy. But what do you do if you need it but can’t pay for it? Try to shoplift it from the local Dollar General, was this gal’s conclusion. Meanwhile, little did this manager know that when he went into work at the Dollar General that same day, she would accidentally uncover her hidden talents as a wrestling wonder. Like a pro, she slams the $2 would-be shoplifter down and impressively holds her with her knee until the doors are locked. I think I’m more shocked at the shoplifter who apparently was in desperate need of soap, as she gets up from being manhandled by Mrs. General herself and calmly asks to use the restroom while they wait for police, as if nothing happened. The store was full of every day customers who got a kick out of the shoplifting shenanigans.
7. Why Is That Baby Wearing A Mask?
Oh… because it’s not a baby at all. One thing is for sure, this shoplifter deserves a little credit. At least an “A” for effort. Creative skills, this one. She went all in and was one hundred percent committed to pulling this shoplifting spree off. Before she was caught with Winnie, she had a perfected look of confusion and total boredom. Must be a seasoned pro. I wonder what she had in mind for an answer when people inevitably asked why the child she was carrying was wearing a mask. Clearly she’s no Michael Jackson and even the King of Pop couldn’t pull that off without scrutiny. It’s a shame when people involve their innocent children in shoplifting but to involve the world’s most famous and beloved honey-loving yellow bear? That is a crime in itself.
6. And The People Of Walmart’s Mother Of The Year Award Goes To…
Well, not this lady. First of all, I’m not trying to judge here but it cannot be ignored that she’s dressed up like she’s about to attend a twerk-off in Alaska or maybe she was off to seduce the Abominable Snowman… (yeah, that was the best I could come up with). That’s bad enough but then she leaves her poor baby in his carseat which is precariously perched on a fold-out table that doesn’t look very sturdy. And oh yeah, she LEAVES her child alone in a shopping cart full of stolen loot while she goes outside of the store to try to convince the police officers and the Walmart manager that she has receipts. Okay sure… then she argues and is put in her place by one of the officers, which is the real child endangerment. This child is in danger of severe embarrassment when he gets old enough to visit YouTube and WorldStar.
5. Pants Like A Clown Car
This lady has magical pants! They hold endless stolen loot from Walmart. Actually, it seems that all of her clothing is magically able to hold tons of personal hygiene products. I think she might have cleared an entire shelf down one pant leg! There is the possibility that her clothes are not magical at all and she’s just incredibly thin so that the pilfered products caused her to look an average weight. Walking around without any of that stuff spilling out? Now that’s talent. Not a particularly useful talent though. And it doesn’t seem to do this dumb female criminal any good either since she got caught. The most disturbing aspect of this whole video is that these items were IN. HER. PANTS. Gross. To make matters worse, they are personal hygiene products. Not bluetooth speakers or cell phone cases or notebooks. Products to use on your body. Did Walmart sanitize these items before putting them back on the shelf? Somehow I doubt it. Hopefully, you didn’t live in the vicinity during this dumb crime.
4. Run Of Shame
All big stores (Walmart most especially) anticipate some level of theft. After all, the store is SO big, how can they possibly be everywhere and see everything? When your local store experiences a high level of theft, store owners usually turn to consumers like you in the form of higher prices in order to recover from the effects of shoplifting. No one understands this better than the man behind the camera, who as you can hear, does not work for Walmart. His is Every Man. An every day Joe who is sick of the rising prices thanks to people like this lady here who gets a little fidgety and ends up tossing him “her” social security card, yeah, sure, like that’s not stolen before running off as he shames her all the way out. He’s been criticized for being too tough on her while others call him a hero. Which side are you on?
3. Is That A Frying Pan In Your Pants Or Are You Just Happy To See Me?
Why yes, in fact, that is a big ol’ frying pan sticking out of her pants and no, she is not one bit happy to see the good folks from Ikea Loss Prevention, ready to thwart her attempts at stealing one of Ikea’s finest cooking tools. Come on, Ikea! A girl’s got to have her veggie stir fry! But they are having none of it. Well, they’re having some of it because Miss Frying Pan Down The Leggings has grasped a good handful of the loss prevention’s shirt and shows no signs of letting go all while despite this, somehow the dumb criminal’s friends try to persuade the LP duo to let her go until finally one friend with a little sense tells her to let go of the shirt. Favorite quotes from this, you ask? Well, there’s a lot but I especially enjoyed the loss prevention employee saying, “You are ruining my shirt, you will be charged for the price of my shirt.” And Miss Frying Pan says, “You will be charged for the price of my baby.” Touché, loss prevention lady, touché.
2. Gift Shop Gaffler
Who knew so much trouble could come in the form of a matching patterned pyjama set and slip on shoes for one family-owned gift shop family business? This lady is like a bull in a china shop as she shoves her way into the ’employee only’ area. Luckily, the family that runs a gift shop together, stops dumb female criminals together. They’re able to keep her somewhat detained, although she continues breaking things left and right, until the cops come for her. Then suddenly the bull in the china shop turns into a sweet little lady. “Please!” she whimpers for help as they twist her arms back to handcuff her. It looks like she’s wearing pyjamas so wanting to give her wacky behavior the benefit of the doubt, I’m going to guess that she was sleep-stealing?
1. Tug Of Convenience Store War
All I want to know is, what could she have possibly stolen from a convenience store that makes it worth all that trouble? The way she has a death lock on that bag makes it seem as if it’s got the only remaining cure for a rare disease that she has. In reality, it’s probably more like a couple of bags of Lay’s potato chips, some sodas and maybe a cheap pair of sunglasses. It’s just not worth it, dumb female criminal #1 and this guy is much tougher than he looks. He holds his own against her, determined not to let a single Nutter Butter nor a Frito leave his store! It’s also pretty much comedy gold when every time a new customer walks in and the dumb female criminal pleads for help first followed by the store owner explaining that she stole a lot of stuff. Quick! Choose a side!
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