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15 Signs She Can’t Cook And Her Food Will Make You Sick

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15 Signs She Can’t Cook And Her Food Will Make You Sick

We’ve all made mistakes in the kitchen. It’s rare that you will go through life and not have a few (or many) cooking disasters. For the fails that you are about to see, disaster is an understatement. You will laugh, you might cry, and if you are brave enough to get to number one on this list, you won’t sleep tonight. Let me preface this list by saying that I would probably mess up these meals, too. I have barely gotten the hang of ramen noodles, so take my jabs in jest, if you’ve cooked any of these items. I know that these recipes (some of them) are probably very hard to make.

From bad breakfasts to disgusting dinners, just about every meal category you can think of is in this list. I’ll be treating you to a visual feast, as we see some of the most disgusting food fails out there. All of these amateur chefs had good intentions but, fortunately for you, they failed miserably. If you’re eating, now might be a good time to finish up your food. If you think you can handle it, let’s get started. Grab a napkin and some silverware, because you’re going to get hungry! Without further adieu, I proudly present to you 15 recipe fails that will make you vomit. Get ready to be grossed out and grab a puke bucket, you’re going to need it.

15. If She Makes A Cake Like This

For animal lovers, a hedgehog cake looks like a fun treat for that person who is really into hedgehogs. You might find yourself afraid that the life-like hedgehog is going to run off of the table. When you see this failed version, you will still be very afraid, but for different reasons.

If I ever made a dish this scary, I would beat it with a baseball bat. After the beating, I would throw the remains in a trash can. Next, I would set the trash can on fire, so that I could watch this monster’s soul escape in a cloud of smoke. The yellowed teeth that look a little too real for my liking make this cake. I think I killed a couple of these creatures when I played Doom last week. The next time you want to wow at your next dinner party, bring this cake, it will be a big hit.

14. Or A Cake Like This

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Hopefully, not this disgusting freak! In what should have been a cake in Spongebob’s likeness, we have whatever this is. Somewhere, Patrick the Starfish is looking at this cake and wailing. This recipe fail deserves to be in an art museum, so that passersby can truly study this cake for years to come.

It appears that Spongebob’s eyes have become incredibly deformed, the right one sliding off of the face. I do have to give points to the nose and mouth, not bad. If you look close enough, you can see the melted yellow puddle, where his hands should be. This cake looks more like what would happen if Spongebob was actually used as a real-life sponge.

13. If She Can’t Make Pancakes

Walt Disney himself might think about rolling over in his grave, if he had seen this pancake attempt. At the top, we have a lovely looking Mickey Mouse shaped pancake. The cute dusting of powdered sugar to create the ear holes is a nice touch. In addition, some fruit is placed on the pancake to show Mickey’s smiling face!

Instead, what the reality was, for one unlucky chef is something out of a horror movie. It’s great to see Mickey’s signature smile still bravely showing through the pancake abomination he is in. Bonus points are given out here for this fail to have such amazingly circled ears! What should be a nice round face has contorted itself into an oddly — shaped monster. I feel sorry for the horrific creature but he is kind of cute, in a scary monster sort of way!

12. If She Has A Sick Sense Of Design

A great way to express your creativity, sugar skulls are fun and taste great. We can see, in the top half of this image, sugar skulls that are decorated wonderfully. The colors treat the eye to a visual masterpiece. If you look closely, you can see two small skulls and some creature on the right, how cute! It seems likely that anyone making these had to have an amazing time doing it. I can’t imagine what could go wrong while making sugar skulls!

Yes, I can! As it turns out, a lot can go wrong when you make sugar skulls, apparently. Feast your eyes on this visual feast that one amateur cook ended up with. The weird colors from the melting skulls could make anyone lose their appetite. Looking into the eyes of these skulls, it looks like they have seen horrors we can’t imagine. The scariest of all sights is the butchering that occurred when this person tried to read this recipe.

11. And Zero Creative Abilities

For this entry, let’s first look at the bottom left corner of this image. We have, of course, Tinkerbell, the legendary fairy from the Disney movies. In a green skirt/dress thing, her glorious fairy wings take her high above the stars! Looking especially majestic, she is seen in this picture blowing a kiss! What wonders await us when we prepare to make her in pancake form?

Oh, wow. Someone tinkered with Tinkerbell a little too much, when making these pancakes. The result of these pancakes should be studied, as it is unknown how this end result was formed. Looking like a hybrid of a turkey and a frog, with trees for legs, this pancake is terrifying. I have even flipped this image around and I still don’t know what’s going on. The end result of Tinkerbell pancakes in this photo has given creation to a new and rare creature, so that’s a plus!

10. When She Tries Something Off Pinterest

While not for everyone, cooking an egg inside of a burger has been enjoyed by many. If you enjoy a nice combination of breakfast and dinner, you may want to try it. The image above starts off with a lovely detailed step-by-step process of how to create this dish. We see the hole in the meat patty, the egg is placed inside, and covered with cheese. I’m certainly no great cook but this can’t be that hard to mess up, right?

The bottom panel of this image shows the end result for one cook. The egg looks like it came alive and tried to escape! Fearing its sentence in beef jail, this egg appears to have exploded when exiting, creating the mess you see before you. Trying to scoop this “burger” up must have been a nightmare. I suppose that this monstrosity could be scooped onto bread but I imagine it would be a mess to eat.

9. Cheese Scabs, Anyone?

Looking like something out of a themed restaurant, the cheese poppers in the top image look amazing. Golden fried to perfection and loaded with cheese, I would be happy to kill my diet eating these. A nice touch is the actual recipe for how to cook these, in the image. It appears that the person who tried to make these cheese poppers didn’t see this image with the recipe on it.

The reality of cheese poppers is seen in the less appetizing bottom half of this image. It looks like someone opened the oven, while these were cooking, and took a hammer to them! One beautiful detail of these failed cheese poppers is the beautifully burnt and smashed cheese. I’m not sure what would be worse: eating these overcooked disasters or having to clean that poor baking dish!

8. When You Learn How To Love Her Burnt Food

Next, we have delicious carrot chips. A healthier option, these carrots are sliced and coated with olive oil and salt. After baking at 350 degrees for 12 minutes, the carrot chips will be ready to enjoy. Glazed with the olive oil coating, the carrots should now have a nice glazed look. Also, you’ll notice a nice satisfying crunch when biting into these cooked delights. Let’s take a look at someone who cooked these nutritious and delicious delights for themselves!

The bottom half of this image shows what happened when someone tried their hand at this recipe. Hilariously overcooked to a jet black crisp, these carrots look like failed Halloween decorations. Amazingly, these carrots have also shrunk considerably, when compared to how they “should” end up looking. It appears that someone might have misread the cooking time, opting to leave for another country while these carrot chips cooked.

7. Defective Bunny Rolls

Something about combining animals and food is so fun for people. I like my food to look like food, not a cute bunny or kitty, but that’s just me. If you’re into it, bunny rolls could cause many to compliment your cooking abilities. With tiny eyes, ears, and noses, these bunnies are very detailed and look like they were made by a professional chef. A big hit at your next Easter party, bunny rolls look quick and easy to make, right?

It’s not likely that many people would eat these failed bunny rolls, even if offered money. These bunnies look like they have lived very hard lives and welcome death. There aren’t many faces I can make out, just holes and odd shapes. The cook who made these tried must have tried so hard to get one pair of ears that look normal, to no avail. These rolls are the kind of small monsters I used to check underneath my bed for.

6. Who Wants Burnt Ice Cream Cakes?

Ice cream cone cupcakes look like a treat that would make you happy to eat. Looking remarkably like the real deal, these cupcakes are even loaded with sprinkles! In the top half of this image, we have these cupcakes even topped with a candle, how sweet! A treat for any season, these cupcakes look like an amazing dessert. Let’s see just how easy these treats are to make, shall we?

With how good the top half of this picture looks, it’s amazing how it turned out, for one unlucky cook. If I was a kid and this was presented at my party, there would be enough tears to fill a river. What makes this fail that much better is that the cook really went all out. Aiming to make both chocolate and vanilla, we are treated to a multi-flavored fail! Nothing beats the heat of summer like a melted, burnt, and dripping ice cream cone cupcake!

5. Heed The Call Of Cthulu

If you have a fear of monsters, you’ll find this entire image unsettling. However, my Lovecraft fans will understand why a Cthulu pie is so cool. The detail that goes into forming the tentacles of this legendary monster is astounding. If you follow the directions, surely you can create a Cthulu pie of your own, correct?

No, not if you are the person who tried to make this creation, seen in the bottom half of the picture. A twisted smile is formed on the Cthulu you see in the bottom half of this image. The dark filling that should be shown, is replaced with a mess of doughy limbs. A greenish tint that surrounds this pie makes it look like nothing I would want to eat. However, the Cthulu pie fail is hilariously bad, you can’t help but feel sorry for this poor creature.

4. Her “Hot Dog Abomination”

A new take on pigs in a blanket, these hot dog snacks look great for any get-together. Who could resist the delicious breading, with a cooked hot dog inside? Serve with a dipping sauce and you’ve got a treat perfect for game day festivities. The hot dog just barely peeking out gives these snacks bonus points for an awesome presentation.

The hot dog inferno that happened in the bottom half of this picture is quite a sight to behold. I would have loved to have seen the preparation that went into this recipe fail. The bizarre discrepancies in hot dog lengths draws your eyes in right away, none of them resembling the correct length. Of course, all hot dogs looked to be burnt, while it appears that others have fallen over into a deep sleep. If you see anything like this fail presented at your next game day party, run!

3. Sour Patch Cheeseburger Anyone?

Chelsea must have been a big fan of Sour Patch Kids, judging by this cake, seen above, made for her. The detail that went into this cake is great, featuring a fairly accurate logo. The candies look like they are overflowing out of the cake, making it look more like a box. Overall, this cake doesn’t just look good, it’s attention to detail makes it astonishing.

I bet the child that got the failed cake was not as happy as Chelsea! This cake looks like a cheeseburger patty that someone angrily threw Sour Patch Kids at. It appears that the person making this cake didn’t see that part where the candies were supposed to be on the side. I don’t even think I could take these candies off the top of this cake, I’d be too scared I would end up sick. Not everyone has a knack for making artistic cakes, some have to make the failed versions.

2. When She Mistakes Feces For Cake

The pinata cake is a treat filled with candy, much like its namesake. Featuring a rainbow of colors, this cake would be a hit on the dessert table. You would probably want to schedule a teeth cleaning after eating a slice of this cake. However, I know that I would be excited to get my hands on this dessert, just to say that I’ve tried it. The only exception to me not devouring this cake would be if it was made by the same person who made what you see in the lower half of this image.

Why is the cake smiling? Does anyone see that ghastly smiling face on this cake? What happened? This fail leaves me with so many questions, I wish I could interview the cake maker. This cake looks like something out of a science lab that escaped, set to wreak havoc on the Earth. The forced smile looks like this cake is begging to be put out of its misery.

1. Get Her Cooking Lessons ASAP

There is no before image here, so you’ll have to work with me a bit. Imagine that piping hot aroma of a freshly baked pizza pie for a second. Now, you’re rushing to the oven, eager to remove that cheesy pizza pie! In most cases, you will grab a plate, take a seat, and enjoy a nice slice of pizza. It’s tough to ruin something so amazing, as a slice of pizza, unless you’re the one who made the next fail.

Looking less like pizza, and more like nuclear fallout, this entry is especially disgusting. What was once an innocent pizza is now in shambles, collecting into a cheesy mess. The toppings have joined the cheese in completely giving up, as they join the death party. The crust still holds a unified front, staying sort of in place on the top rack. I wonder if that microwave oven was ever used again.

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