Feet are weird. I think most of us can agree on this. Some people out there love (like really love) feet to the point of having a foot fetish (looking at you Quentin Tarantino). Not all feet are created equal and in my opinion most (definitely including mine) are downright ugly. Even celebrities, the beautiful people, have difficulty escaping strange feet. Here are some celebrities with straight-up messed up feet.
Most celebrities (and even the many models on this list) are drop-dead gorgeous, so having a little fun with their little toes is not body shaming people (just save your comments for something important). Feet are also subjective. As mentioned, some can’t get enough of them while others could take them or leave them without much thought. Honorable mention goes to Steven Tyler, front man of Aerosmith and ex-American Idol judge, who gets to represent the men. Guys in general have ugly feet so this is nothing against Tyler. His second toe does appear to be much larger than his big toe which is strange. Actually, I think it’s pretty cool, but some are all about proportion and see this as something different.
We live in a day when the paparazzi don’t miss a celebrity movement and that includes their feet. Women are targeted most often, given they wear more open toed footwear. Keep in mind the camera angles and gossip aren’t gospel, but hey, it’s what we’ve got to go on so let’s have some fun with it. Here are 15 celebrities with messed up feet.
15 Kelly Rowland
Kelly Rowland is multi-talented. She is a singer, actress and overall pop culture personality. She is gorgeous. She also has some jacked up feet. Rising to popularity in the 1990s with the group Destiny’s Child, she became part of the best-selling girl groups ever. During a hiatus of the group she went solo and continued to have great success including a number one hit titled “Dilemma.”
In 2003 she got into acting, appearing in the movie Freddy vs. Jason and in 2005 The Seat Filler, both were overall successful movies. After Destiny’s Child called it quits she released another album and then went on to host The Fashion Show. She was also featured on the song “When Love Takes Over,” a song that influenced a lot of popular artists (Rihanna, Beyonce, Nicki Minaj) to start experimenting with house music. Over her career she has sold over 40 million records just as a solo artist (60 million with Destiny’s Child) and has been nominated for four Grammy Awards.
14 Elle Macpherson
Elle Macpherson is a super model that has appeared on the cover of Sports Illustrated five times. She’s perfect, game over. Oh, wait, did you know what happens to super models forced to wear crazy tight shoes all day long? Yeah, their feet get messed up. The bones start pointing in different directions, leading to imperfections on an otherwise perfect work of art. Depending on the camera angle of pictures, you can see where some of the toes have decided to do their own thing.
Macpherson has had little to no work done and even at over 50 years of age is still rocking it. One of the most celebrated super models of all time, she is still very much a celebrity and is often caught by the paparazzi. She could easily do another cover of Sports Illustrated and show the new generation what a real super model is all about. She may also want to warn them about those long shoots wearing ill-fitting pumps.
Everyone that has seen pictures, videos, concerts or just her in person knows Beyonce has really got it going on and that’s not debatable. What’s up with her feet? Well this is where it gets tricky. Some say they are super sexy and others scream “hammer time!” so you will need to make up your own mind on this one. You can see where I’ve placed her.
Her achievements are endless, the biggest being her 20 Grammy Awards. That’s right, Beyonce has won 20 Grammy Awards. That’s 20 more than you or I will ever win. She has also won the most MTV Video Awards of any artist. That’s more than Duran Duran – remember when they were a big thing on MTV? I wonder what those guys' feet look like? The band members always wearing designer “boat” shoes on their yachts shooting videos; probably kept their feet looking good. Go figure, some bands catch all the breaks.
12 Kate Moss
Fashion models are tall and Kate Moss was no exception. She was also incredibly thin and gorgeous, hence super model label. Here’s the thing, these girls have large feet, but are forced to wear much smaller shoes. You can imagine what this does to their feet; it destroys them. Maybe that’s why the tabloids always had stories about Moss causing a stir at parties. She was probably upset because her feet hurt so damn much!
Moss was known for being part of the “Big Six” models of the eighties. I always think it is cool when you get to be part of a “Big” group, there’s really no negative here. Whether you are a Big Four of thrash metal music, Big Four business consulting company or Big Six super model that slayed it during your heyday is just awesome. Maybe I can be known as part of the Big… oh, never mind, we both know that’s not happening regardless of what you put after Big.
11 Oprah Winfrey
Well, Oprah needs no introduction; she doesn’t even need a last name. She has all the power, money and connections in the world. Somehow her net worth is unable to address what appears to be a somewhat serious bunion issue on her feet. She could have them removed, hell, she’s Oprah, she could replace her feet, but in some ways she is very old school and is probably like “screw it they're just feet."
I realize Oprah has done a lot of positive in our world, but I always first think about her giving away all that free stuff on her show. I was really hoping during her last episode, before she left her talk show to run her own television network, that she was going to give everyone their own show. “You get a show and you get a show and you get…” That didn’t happen, but it would have made for an incredible lineup on her new channel.
10 Jordin Sparks
At the age of 17 Jordin Sparks won American Idol. She was the youngest winner ever and was immediately shot into the public eye. She didn’t ask for all the attention she received, but that comes with the gig. Wherever she goes she is photographed, and that includes her feet, which, despite Sparks being attractive, are not. She’s got long toes that extend straight out and depending on the camera angle, can appear the same length.
As expected, Sparks' music career has been successful, including being the only American Idol contestant to have their first five singles hit the top twenty charts. She has also won an NAACP Image Award, an American Music Award and a People’s Choice Award. I’m guessing the latter she said meant the most because it was “from the people.” Artists always say that. No way a People’s Choice Award beats a Grammy Award, maybe an American Music Award, I feel like those don’t even really count anymore.
Ciara is another celebrity that is talented and also drop-dead gorgeous. A talented singer with a ton of record sales, accolades and awards, she really does have it all from a career standpoint. She also has some really interesting feet. Interesting as in messed up because she’s like all toes. Granted a lot of this is due to the type of open-toed shoes she wears, but damn those are some long toes.
Did you know Ciara wakes up and falls asleep to ESPN every night? This is true. She also thinks about going to college because she misses the experience. I guess it’s not the missing classes and having anxiety over mid-terms anxiety I always faced. No, Ciara is talking about partying and hanging with friends. Man, I really didn’t have a good college experience. I should have done more drugs. Definitely should have done more drugs. Oh, back on Ciara, she also prays every night before going back to sleep.
8 Serena Williams
One of the greatest (if not the greatest) female tennis players of all time, Serena Williams, despite still actively competing, is already a legend. Her whole life she has been an athlete and that has taken a major toll on her feet. In addition to tennis, Williams is also beautiful and has modeled, which has exposed her crazy looking feet. In many photos you will notice they are hidden or curled to take away from whatever is going on there. Again, what else would you expect from someone who works and trains all day on their feet?
Williams holds records for most major titles among all tennis players, either male or female. She is fourth in major titles and along with her sister Venus Williams is the most recent to hold all four of the Grand Slam double titles at the same time (2009/2010). Most importantly Serena and her sister influenced a whole generation of female tennis players due to their mastery of skills and aggressive style of play.
7 Naomi Campbell
This British model was well-known in the late eighties and early nineties for her modelling as well as her shenanigans, mostly for her four convictions of assault. This may not seem like a big deal, but back then it was, especially in Britain where the tabloids are brutal. She also has some ridiculously messed up feet. Her big toes are super big; I guess that can happen to a super model. I’ll be here all week, folks!
Starting her career at the young age of 15, Campbell was known as one of the “Big Six” super models of her generation. She was also said to be one of the three most noticeable models of her time (was it the big toes that gave her away?). In addition to modelling, Campbell has released an album (not so great), acted in movies and television and also participated in model reality shows such as The Face.
6 Victoria Beckham
I don’t know that anyone having ugly or messed up feet is really surprising, but for some reason this one shocked me a tad. Ex-Spice Girl and socialite, Victoria Beckham has got some strange, seriously long toes that look as if they have been jammed into a tuna can for most of their life. When the toes finally come out (hey, if you live in Los Angeles you need to let the toes out) they just want to breathe and be all they can be. Are her toes having a race to see who gets to the finish line first? It’s easy to poke fun, I mean look at her. She’s a goddess who just happens to have super long toes; did I mention they are all really long?
I actually am really hoping this is either how she was born or due to wearing uncomfortable footwear for most of her life and not because of her husband. I just don’t want to picture David Beckham forcing Victoria to kick soccer balls at him, wrecking her feet in the process. Please, tell me he’s not this kind of monster…
5 Michelle Yeoh
One of the most famous Bond girls, Michelle Yeoh is one of the most beautiful actresses you will see on screen. She also knows martial arts, or at least plays a martial artist in movies, so be careful what you say. That’s why when I say “what’s up with her feet?” I’m immediately ducking. In her movies and pictures her big toe and little toe sometimes appear to be running away from her feet. Maybe it was the training or maybe that’s her secret and that’s how she is so good at what she does. Maybe if my big toe was heading east and my little toe was heading west I would have done much more with my life. Maybe I’ll go back to college and write my thesis on this.
She is now over 50 and still looks amazing! I’ve always had a thing for Bond girls and she is one of my favorites. It probably has to do with their secrets; nothing like a girl with a secret, especially if that secret is a secret power. Now we’re talking…
4 Kim Kardashian
Kim Kardashian is rich and famous, for what exactly anymore it doesn’t matter because she is so famous. Yeah, now I remember, she got famous for a sex tape, then for reality television and now she’s married to some rapper named Kanye West. On her reality show her mother warned her not to wear heels, but that didn’t stop Kim; no, she proudly wore them no matter what they made her feet look like, which was a pair of swollen feet squished into strappy heels.
Lucky for Kardashian, gawkers don’t look past her butt so not many noticed the atrocity her feet became during her pregnancy. Since her feet do appear to have changed and not necessarily for the better. Sure, they no longer look squashed, but they also look messed up. Of course, everyone is still talking about her butt. Thank God, it’s not like she needed any more attention.
3 Jennifer Aniston
A super star of both the small and large screen, Aniston has had a very successful career, is one of the hottest celebrities in Hollywood and doesn’t show any signs of slowing down. However, here’s the thing with Jennifer Aniston, she still looks young, like super young compared to her actual age (47). Her feet though, don’t match the rest of her. They, boney and just middle-age looking, appear to match her age. It’s one of those can’t have your cake and eat it to scenarios I guess where even though you look amazing you are still what age you are. It’s just messed up when you see her and then look down and see old lady feet.
These days Aniston continues to be involved in multiple projects as well as constantly being asked for opinions on the divorce between her ex-husband Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. Spoiler Alert: Maybe Pitt is a “foot guy” and these divorces have something to do with feet!
2 Angelina Jolie
There was a debate over whether or not Angelina should be number one, but she’s really going through enough right now. Jolie is one of the most beautiful celebrities alive today, but Jolie’s feet are pretty messed up with wrecked toes and ankles that appear swollen. This is understandable given she’s a mother of what is now, 27 (note: estimate not researched). Having to keep up with the kids and take care of everything would ruin the most perfect pair of feet.
Not only does she need to transition between mother and actress, but now she is going to have to deal with a famous ex-husband, one that has already divorced a hot celebrity actress with questionable feet issues. Maybe there is a support group where Aniston and Jolie can meet up and talk it over. “Hi, my name is Angelina and I just got divorced because my husband was no longer attracted to my feet.”
1 Halle Berry
Also a one-time Bond girl as well as playing a mutant in the X-Men movie series, Halle Berry is a celebrated actress in the movie business. Halle Berry also has six toes! That’s right folks, Halle Berry has six toes! One of the most beautiful girls in the world has six toes! How has Tarantino not cast her yet? Does Uma Thurman have seven toes? I need to know…
I guess six toes means more to love or something. Today she is involved in movies and television, often playing science fiction roles despite not being a big fan herself. Maybe she is using her extra toe to gain a competitive edge? Not that she needs to of course, but man I would totally break out that sixth toe every chance I got. “So, how is work going?” “It’s going great, check out my six toes!” (Takes off sock at dinner table.)