People like to do the deed. Knock boots. Perform the horizontal shuffle. Whatever you want to call it, people have sex. And lots of it. All the time. Everywhere. With all of this lovemaking going on, some people decide to get creative with their positions. We all know missionary, doggy style, and cowgirl. Those are probably the three most common positions. But, let's be honest, those get a bit stale after a while. Some people decide to say, "hey, what would happen if I turned you upside down"? Yeah, aren't humans great? We're so creative... and just plain weird.
Listed below are ten of the weirdest positions known to man. Some of them... I just can't even fathom. Like... well, start reading and you'll see what I mean. Be sure to share the article if you liked it and make your friends feel uncomfortable on their Facebook feeds!
10 The Wheelbarrow
Have you ever raked leaves and decided to break out the trusty wheelbarrow to pile them into? Yeah. Essentially, you're doing the same here. Imagine, if you will, the woman's legs are the wheelbarrow handles. Sometimes, the woman can wrap her legs around the man. Thus, the man would hold onto her hips and not her legs. Either way, the woman has to be sporting some arm strength.
9 The Randy Raft
It's summer! Time for baseball games, fireworks, amusement parks... and pool parties! Everyone enjoys a nice dip in the pool to cool off on a scorching summer's day. Better yet, if you have a partner who's feeling a little frisky, you can even get a little naughty in the pool. You know those rafts you just lay on and soak up the sun in? Why not use it?
8 Swiss Ball Blitz
Before you ask, no this doesn't have anything to do with the Ballroom Blitz. This is a completely different type of blitz. Now that we've cleared that up, let's continue on with the Swiss Ball Blitz. If you've ever worked out with a Swiss exercise ball, you probably know where this is going. For those unfamiliar with the Swiss Ball, it's a big, colorful exercise ball. That's it. Not the most crazy thing, I know. The shock is how it's used.
7 The Fire Hydrant
Since the Randy Raft and the Swiss Ball Blitz both deal with the objects in their name, you may have an idea of where this is going. But, you'd be wrong. What a shameful, dirty mind you have! The Fire Hydrant actually has a lot in common with the Wheelbarrow.
6 Pair of Tongs
Okay. Arm strength is definitely required on the woman's part for this position to be successful. If she's not successful at holding herself up... her head and shoulder is going to be intimate with the ground and not her man. So, for the Pair of Tongs, the woman holds herself up diagonally with one arm... yes, you read that right. ONE ARM. Think Wheelbarrow, but with one hand.
5 The Butter Churner
No, experience on the farm is not required for this position. If you've lived in the city your entire life, you'll still be able to do this move. However, if you're not flexible, then this position might not be suited for you.
4 The London Bridge
Out of all the names that people have come up with, the London Bridge is one of the most mind boggling. Why London? I guess I can see the bridge part, but what happens when the London Bridge falls down? Anyway, if you've ever done planks during your workout time, then you'll know exactly how to execute this move. If you're not familiar with planks, one of the planking positions deals with a person holding themselves off the ground with their arms, chest to the sky (think a crab walk).
3 Bumper Cars
Ah yes. Good ol' bumper cars. That fun game that friends and co-workers drag you to and you just know that somebody's going to get mad when someone slams into the back of them and causes them some whiplash. There's nothing better then when a harmless game turns into a day at the ER. But, I digress. Let's delve into this position.
2 The Passion Propeller
It's a bird! It's a plane! It's... a couple grinding against each other! The Passion Propeller is one of the most ridiculous things I think I've ever seen in my life. Here's how it works: You see the propeller pictured above? Okay, we all know that propellers spin. That's kind of one of the things that keeps the airplane flying. Now, keep that spinning motion in your head. For this position, the man goes into the missionary position. Great. Nothing hard about that (pun intended). That's... when... the man starts to spin around... like a propeller... while inside her.
1 The Head Spinner
There have been many things that were once thought impossible. Man walking on the moon in 1969. The 1980 U.S. Olympic hockey team beating Russia in the "Miracle on Ice". Humans... we have a knack for doing the impossible. And, this position proves it. The best way I can describe it is break-dancing sex. That's really the best description I've got. The name itself says it all.
How it works: The man balances himself on his head (okay, we're already off to a pretty bad start. But, I'll keep going). The woman hops on top of him in a weird, cowgirl position. So, the man's junk has to be pointed backwards (think Bumper Cars). And then... then, the magic happens. The man spins. On his head. He spins to his heart's desire while making love to his girl. If you ever witness such a miracle, I can only imagine it's like seeing a unicorn. Or, seeing Kanye be a decent human being.
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