Being a superhero comes with a number of perks. First off, you get to have special abilities. These superpowers can be pretty damn cool. Everyone in the world looks up to you when you are a superhero. You can pretty much score hot girls whenever you want. So, pretty much, it’s like you’re a rich guy with some weird physical power. Superheroes are idolized by everyone in the world. You’ll never find someone who doesn’t want to shake the hand of a superhero. And for women, the idea of having sex with one is the ultimate win.
Now, sex is part of human life. We have pretty much accepted the act as a casual expression of our feelings toward someone else. For some, it is sacred. For others, it is just having some fun. Whatever your sexual appetite or how you categorize the act, there is one constant: sex is good. Superheroes have a whole other kind of category when it comes to sex. Since some are human, others are part-human, and some are a whole other kind of alien, there is an allure to how these amazing characters complete the act. Either way, the expectations have to be pretty high when having sex with a superhero. It would be the equivalent of a poor British girl nabbing the Royal dong. It can definitely be a big deal.
Sex in superhero movies isn’t just for the good guys either. And sometimes, it doesn’t even take two. Either way, there have been some epically crazy sexual acts and sex scenes that have gone down in superhero movies. Here are The 10 Creepiest Sex Scenes In Superhero Movies
10. Hancock – The Big Finish
Okay, you have to watch this deleted scene to believe it! This is borderline ridiculous which is why it was a deleted scene. Will Smith plays Hancock, a superhero I can actually get behind. His sarcasm and callousness is fresh and funny. However, in this strange sequence, a woman comes on to him at a bar. They end up going back to his trailer, and like a horny groupie, she wants to have sex with the superhero.
Now, he warns her about his dramatic “finish.” And then we get to see why. As he reaches his climax, she flies across the room and then giant bullet holes are shot up through the top of his trailer. It has ridiculous written all over. Got to see it to appreciate it.
9. Aeon Flux – Casual Sex
“Why do I know you?” is how Charlize Theron starts her confusing conversation. She is perplexed over the identity of the man she is pointing a gun at. Disoriented and confused, she opts to become sexually aggressive. She can’t help herself but lunge at the stranger in front of her and start making out with him.
So, if you’re confused to the point of being hazy and drugged, why not have sex with a stranger? Theron stumbles into the sexual liaison with as much confusion as a night out with alleged sex offender Bill Cosby. It is certainly an odd portrayal and build-up to a love scene and one that leaves us all very confused. She even wakes up naked in bed, confused. So…I guess it’s all very confusing.
8. X-Men Days Of Future Past – Beastly Mode
In this deleted scene, a young Mystique and Beast decide they want to have a romantic interlude in front of the fire place. As their sexual romp begins, it seems like two young beautiful lovers getting started in the act. Then, Mystique slowly turns blue and scaly and Beast turns…well, into a beast. The two morph into their true selves and what starts out as two hot young lovers getting it on turns into wild, freaky animal-looking love. The visual switch is not appealing to the eyes. I guess their true love overlooks their crazy-looking real selves. Either way, the scene definitely gets a little freaky. It’s like Halloween costumes gone horribly wrong.
7. Kick Ass – I Dream Of Teacher
Well, a lot is made of our lead superhero enjoying his mental highlight reel of his busty English teacher in the first Kick Ass movie. The woman, who is in her 50s, has big enough boobs to spark excitement in him. He turns his computer on and whacks away at the images of the older woman.
It is certainly a strange situation, especially when we see his dreams of her play out. The older English teacher gets topless right before our eyes as we try to turn away. We aren’t going to candy-coat this, but this movie is accurate. Boys are sick little animals and this is exactly the kind of disappointing behavior we engage in.
6. Howard the Duck – Sex In The Animal Kingdom
A half-naked women? A duck in a robe? What could go wrong? Well, Mr. George Lucas, everything. Howard the Duck is in fact a Marvel creation. Incredibly, we don’t know how or why this “superduck” exists. We also don’t know why Lea Thompson wants to have sex with him. But with this kind of dialogue:
“I just can’t find the right man,” says Thompson.
“Maybe it’s not a man you’re looking for,” says Duck.
“I just can’t resist your intense animal magnetism,” she replies.
How can we possibly resist this awesomeness? Actually, very easily. In what was one of the biggest movie disasters of all-time, the 1986 film was incredibly produced by George Lucas himself. Yes, Star Wars’ George Lucas produced this atrocity. The force was not strong with this one.
5. Blankman – Solo Act
What do you get when you have Damon Wayans as a mentally slow superhero? You get Blankman. You also get one of the oddest, funniest moments in a superhero film. The virgin masked man kisses his love interest, one Robin Givens, and finds himself uncontrollably excited. He gyrates around and makes many strange noises, as he feels the swell of positive energy infusing into his lower regions.
Like a raging Roman candle burning without control, Blankman is on fire in his pants and can’t stop the flame from burning out. He makes a lot of strange noises without anyone even touching him and thrusts his pelvis forward repeatedly into nothing and no one in particular, until he climaxes. He does this all in front of his one true love. If I’m Robin Givens, I’m out of there.
4. Kick Ass 2 – Limp Villain
When you are the arch villain in a movie you want to make a strong impact. Villains are threatening characters who strike fear into the hearts of anyone and everyone. However, in the comical Kick Ass 2, the joke is always just a twist away. And in this scene where our criminal mastermind bursts into the damsel-in-distress’ bedroom, he aims to forcibly rape her.
Now, this obviously is not a funny set-up, but when the villain can’t get it up, that is where the gag comes in. He has to turn away in embarrassment and struggles to try and get the little villain in his pants up for the activity. He stresses and in a super-uncomfortable sequence that plays out for as long as it can.
3. Wolverine Origins – The Silver Fox
Born in the 1800s, you have to figure Wolverine has seen his share of women. Since the dude is now over 200 years old (give or take), he pretty much has “been there, done that.” So one has to wonder when he sees a fresh young girl, what exactly is going through this mind. I mean, he essentially is Hugh Hefner with everlasting youth. Can you imagine Hef if he still looked 40? Instead of having sex with 21-year-old models every day, he would have sex with…well, I guess 21-year-old models every day. Damn, Hef is cool.
Anyway, Wolverine has no problem robbing the cradle when it comes to bagging hot women and The Silver Fox is just another notch on his very old belt. When you think about it, it is freaky how much of an age difference they have. We cringe at someone who is in a relationship when there is a 15 or 20-year spread. Can you imagine a 190-year spread? I mean, what do they talk about at the dinner table? Being born in completely different centuries has to be rough on their bonding time.
2. Watchmen – Auto Pilot
If you are on a spaceship hovering above a heavily populated city with a huge super moon in the background, what better way to enjoy the night than to have sex with another superhero. This was the case in Watchmen when Silk Spectre and Night Owl get it on at the front of the ship as it aimlessly hovers around the city. It is definitely graphic and hot, but they go at it like a hot heavy porno. Probably not what the parents expected when they brought their 14-year-old to see a superhero flick. The sequence is set to an equally crazy version of the song “Hallelujah.”
The scene is crazy and odd to say the least where romance evaporates into the explicit and the exciting. The scene is way too hot to link the video here, but feel free to YouTube it and enjoy.
1. X-Men United – Awkward Switch
X-Men rules the day when it comes to strange love. It has to be odd when you are having sex with one person, and then all of a sudden, their body morphs into someone else. That is the case in another Wolverine precious sexual romp when he thinks he is finally bagging the girl of his dreams, Jean. Then, as they are making out, Mystique’s true blue self comes to life and Wolverine is none-too-happy.
He tosses her away, angry he was fooled into almost doing the deed with the blue villain. On a side note, Rebecca Romijn is pretty damn hot so I wouldn’t have exactly kicked her out of bed. Tough call, Logan.
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