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5Lizard People Rule The World

Bill Clinton, Dick Cheney, Stanley Kubrick and the Rockefellers. What do these people have in common? According to New Age conspiracist David Icke, they all descend from an ancient, shapeshifting race of reptiles called

the “Brotherhood,” who hail from the constellation Draco. Driven by an insatiable hunger for Earth’s hidden caches of “monatomic gold,” the Brotherhood has infiltrated every corner of international politics.

If one were to believe Icke — which is absolutely not recommended — the Brotherhood employ human strife as a form of energy. Feeding on our fears and insecurities, our reptilian overlords engage in the practice of “human genocide, […] sexual perversions which create highly charged negative energy, and black magic ritual.”

Of course, out of necessity, a certain hierarchy has evolved amongst the scaly doppelgängers, with — and this will surely surprise you — the Brotherhood’s highest echelons populated by what Icke calls, “Red Dresses.” According to Icke’s ham-fisted They-Live-meets-The-Matrix philosophy, the Red Dresses — who tend to the “reptilian software” — masquerade as society’s elite and spearhead the Brotherhood’s woeful quest for monatomic gold.

The primary evidence Icke offers in support of his intricate web of conjecture is a collection of unfortunately-timed photographs that capture politicians, scientists and news anchors mid-blink. However, despite the dearth of evidence, nearly four percent of Americans — 12 million people — believe that a mysterious reptilian race controls the world.

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