If sex is the most essential act of human creation, then it’s only natural it gets along well with the imagination. But until pretty recently, sexual kinks approached the realm of taboo, something you might chat about hush-hush over drinks with friends. Now, a recent study suggests it’s only a matter of time before they become polite dinner conversation.
Last year, three academics at the University of Montreal published extensive data on the relative rarity of different sexual fantasies in The Journal of Sexual Medicine. Their goal was determining what exactly constitutes an “unusual” fantasy and what’s rather more “typical”, statistically speaking. Time to find out if you're actually a freak like your OkCupid profile says.
This information constituted what was probably one of the more thought-provoking sex studies in recent memory, not only because it charts the prevalence of these fantasies in men versus women, but because it even delves into some of the far “touchier”, and altogether dark and illegal, thoughts that visit some people.
The following are 18 shocking sets of figures from this study - ranked by decreasing normalcy and increasing shockingness - for your curiosity, outrage and assorted kinks.
19 Being dominated sexually
18 Sex in an unusual place (office, public toilets)
Ever since Bob Eubanks asked What is the most interesting place you and your husband made whoopee? in the 60s, location became popular criteria for sex, and sex became whoopee for some odd reason.
17 Someone I know who isn’t my spouse
16 Sex with a stranger
People have different criteria of “fantasizing”. A flirty glance is all the inspiration some people need, and by "some people" we mean most men.
15 Sex openly in a public place
Secrecy is sexy, but what exactly is hot about the thought of performing for your local 7-11? This one seems a little more niche.
14 Being tied up
What’s the correlation between BDSM and liberal society? It might seem a little counterintuitive, but allowing partners to assume dominating roles in the bedroom is thought to repurpose normal power relations. In a sense, consensual domination becomes about equality (exceptions may apply, unfortunately).
13 Being pleasured by a stranger
12 Sex with more than three people, all women
A threesome is already too much adventure for many of us, but greater-than-threesomes with women are a fairly-prevalent female fantasy, and a near-prerequisite of having a penis it seems. Besides gay men, straight women, sexually conservative straight men and sexually conservative gay women, who wouldn’t want to be surrounded by the fairer sex during sex?
11 Sex with more than three people, all men
10 Watching someone undress without them knowing
Paying dues to classical perversions, 63.4% of men have fantasized about being peeping Toms. But hold it, ladies: 31.8% of you have fantasized about being peeping Thomasinas.
9 Being filmed
If this ever happens it won’t be purple hot lights and fog machines. Chances are it’ll be some dude in jeans and a goatee, sidestepping around your mattress and zooming in for close ups with his Nikon. Even with no third-party involved, there’s about a 95% chance it’ll end up on the Internet. That’s a fact.
8 Being spanked or whipped
We’ve measured the B and the D, as people often do, but the SM: This is one of the touchier subjects, and one of the few sex kinks women share considerably more than men. 36.9% versus 20.6%, respectively.
7 Being forced to have sex
Sometimes human beings don’t really mean what they say in the bedroom. Unfortunately this makes for a bit of confusion around that magic word “consensus”. Without the guise of roleplay, a fantasy of “being forced” to have sex comes awfully close to a fantasy about rape. Though again, we are talking about the lawless land of make-believe.
6 Sex with an object
We’ve all heard through one grapevine or another how big the sex toy industry is, but generally we assume the inanimate object is the means to fantasizing. Commodity fetishism has clearly gone too far.
5 Sex with a sex worker or stripper
Getting busy with an escort spells the opposite of fantasy for most—maybe a last resort for someone who’s been fantasizing a little too much. But a seasoned practitioner can encompass several thrill potentials all at once: lack of commitment, unequaled experience, domination prospect, risk (to your health).
4 Sexually abusing a person who is drunk, asleep or unconscious
Everyone needs a good fantasy or ten to keep them soldiering through the pedestrian life. But if the great Jay Gatsby’s demise taught us anything, it’s that some fantasies are best left alone. Also something about time travel, we don’t really remember.
A woman may wonder what it’s like to be kicked in the testes; what man hasn’t thought about strutting his stuff in a pair of high stilettos?
2 Urinating on a partner
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