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12 Hilarious Sex Laws In The U.S.

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12 Hilarious Sex Laws In The U.S.

There are ridiculous and funny sex laws that are in effect all over the world. But who would think that the sexually-liberal United States would be hanging onto these hilarious laws of yesteryear?

There are so many wild and crazy sex laws, we narrowed it down to 12 of our most hilarious favorites. But make no mistake, we didn’t include all of them so you’re not necessarily in the clear. If you have certain sexual proclivities or habits, you may want to check the city and state laws before engaging or you could end up in jail or with a heavy fine.

For example, if you are a female in Anniston, Alabama and lose a game of pool, do not try to settle the tab with sex. If you are in Mobile, Montgomery or anywhere else in the state there should be no problem.

As you’ll see below, some of the laws are statewide, while others cover actions taken within certain city limits. We have to wonder why the government is concerned with the subject of sex at all and these laws punctuate that question. Check out the amusing details.

12. Iowa

Young couple kissing in restaurant

Get on your mark, get set, start the clock! Couples in Iowa should always have a stop-watch handy. If you love locking lips for hours on end and happen to live in Iowa, beware: the law clearly states that a kiss can’t last more than five minutes. If you think that’s wild, it is also against the law for a man with a mustache to kiss a woman in public in the great Hawkeye state. Oh, those crazy lawmakers in Iowa sure know how to spoil a good time.

11. Pennsylvania

Provocative blond woman wearing a red dress

It doesn’t matter what day, week or month it is. It doesn’t even matter if it is a holiday or if you have all of your clothes on. Under no circumstances should couples engage in either oral or anal sex if they live in or are visiting the state of Pennsylvania, because they are both illegal and considered deviant. And that’s not all.

10. Indiana

Flasher

In Indiana, it is strictly a no-no for a man to be sexually aroused in public. We are not sure this is really a bad thing. It is not likely that many people really want to see men walk around with erections poking out from beneath their slacks in public, anyway. Although it probably happens more often than we realize, it is not something we want to encourage. But, again we have to wonder. How many excited men did it take before there were enough complaints to get the government involved? We also have to wonder what’s going on in the streets of Indiana that we don’t know about. Hmmn.

9. California

unter der bettdecke

California is known for being a progressive and liberal state in so many ways that it is a bit surprising to hear that even the Golden State has its own strange sex-related law. We’re not sure how they could bust anyone for this, unless done in public, but it is against the law for either person to climax during foreplay. We’re don’t think Dr. Ruth would agree.

There’s another silly law in effect stating that animals are banned from mating publicly within 1,500 feet of a tavern, school or place of worship. If the government is counting on collecting fines from our four-legged friends, it is no wonder the state is broke.

8. Harrisburg, Pennsylvania

congested-traffic

Laws crop up after repetitive offenses have been reported and recorded. Harrisburg, Pennsylvania must have had quite a few toll booth offenders on the Pennsylvania Turnpike before they had enough. It is quite illegal to have sex with a truck driver in a tollbooth. Evidently, it’s fine for regular travelers to hop in the tollbooth for a quickie, but don’t even fantasize about doing it with a truck driver. They definitely need to stick to having sex elsewhere.

7. Cottonwood, Arizona

Couple making love on the car's backseat.

If you’re ever passing through Cottonwood, Arizona be very sure not to have sex in your car if it has flat wheels. You will be fined on the spot. To make matters worse, if you happen to hop in the back seat for a quickie, the fine is doubled. Back seat sex in a vehicle with flat wheels is something all young couples in Cottonwood avoid at all costs. So while you are waiting for roadside assistance, it is best to keep your hands to yourself.

6. Oblong, Illinois

Fish-bride

Oblong, Illinois must be a hot destination for hunting and fishing weddings. There is now a law prohibiting a man and a woman to have sex while they are hunting or fishing if it is their wedding day. We suppose it is fine to do so the next day, but it is considered an illegal act if it happens on the day of the nuptials. So when you’re fishing on your wedding day, no hanky panky or the marriage certificate won’t be the only legal document you will receive that day.

5. Minnesota

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Kissing a live fish is apparently fine in every state of the union. However, it is strictly against the law for any man to have intercourse with a live fish in Minnesota. We have to wonder how many men got caught before this law went into effect and it is somewhat worrisome. That’s why we are all for this law and hope men in other states don’t get any bright ideas. After all, we don’t want to have to add yet another concern about eating fish.

4. Connorsville, Wisconsin

woman_laying_beach2-1024x1024

We really have to wonder why this law was passed. Perhaps it was customary in Connorsville, Wisconsin for couples to enjoy their sexual activities with a gun nearby. Because this law states clearly that under no circumstances should the man shoot off a gun when his woman is having an orgasm. It may be one of the ways he demonstrates his excitement, but stop him, as it will result in a fine or worse.

3. Newcastle, Wyoming

HappyCoupleKissing-850x567

Newcastle, Wyoming evidently had a rampant rate of couples having sex in walk-in meat freezers. Perhaps it is harmful to their health or possibly an attempt to make sure the meat is not contaminated with sex germs. Either way, couples must now steer clear of having any sexual activities in the nearest meat freezer. Perhaps if the freezer is used for storing other frozen food, you can still get your sex game on.

2. Massachusetts

29 HT rodeo clown 100721-F-5544L-431

We don’t normally think of Massachusetts as being a rodeo state, but evidently it doesn’t take much to get some laws passed. Having sex with a rodeo clown isn’t something we advise, just on principal. Face it, it’s weird. However, if you must have sex with one, make certain there is no horse in the vicinity. It is illegal to have sex with a rodeo clown if a horse is present. Perhaps the horse gets jealous or just doesn’t like to watch, we are not quite sure.

1. Alexandria, Minnesota

smelly

Ladies will love this law.  In Alexandria, Minnesota men are prohibited from having sex with their wives if their breath smells of garlic, onions or sardines. Now that is the type of law that should be in every state and for both genders, unless there is mutual consent for kissing with sardine-breath. It also leaves us with a question. It is perfectly legal to have sex with someone other than their wife when they have stinky breath?

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