Henry Louis Mencken said, “Life without sex might be safer, but it would be unbearably dull.” When poor decision-making skills are combined with one of humankind’s most primal desires, life certainly won’t be dull. Then again, how could life be dull if you’re dead?
While sex is regarded by most as a good thing, if not the BEST thing in the entire world, there have been a number of instances throughout history that might prove otherwise. Like anything else, sex often isn’t without incident. In fact, in the extreme cases you are about to read, it has gone horribly wrong. When people set out to have a good time, they might be blinded by the excitement of the expected result, rather than the consequences of the dangerous methods they use to achieve it. However, these unfortunate cases were not a result of any old kind of sex; they happened under bizarre and often extreme circumstances.
After you read these tales of a good time gone bad, really bad, you just might think twice before you pull out those electric nipple clamps or swallow a whole bottle of Viagra at once. They say too much of a good thing can kill you, and these 11 tales of sex gone wrong would indeed support that argument.
11. The Zombie
Miracles really do happen, some weirder than others. A call girl by the name ‘MaNdlo’ was getting down and dirty with a client when she suddenly collapsed, and wouldn’t wake up. When the authorities arrived to the room of the Manor Hotel in Bulawayo, Zimbabwe they checked the girl and assumed that she had died. The weird part what happened next; when she was being laid into the coffin, she suddenly woke up screaming “You want to kill me, you want to kill me.” The people that were gathered around were suddenly thrown into a frenzy, running away in all different directions. Apparently when authorities checked to see if the girl was dead, she was just cold. And as for her client? He apparently snuck away during all the commotion.
10. When Sparks Fly
In 2008, a 27-year-old Pennsylvania woman named Kristen Taylor set out to have a good time with her husband. Kristen and her husband, Toby, often enjoyed a very electric sex life – literally. On this day, Toby attached electrified nipple clamps to Kristen as he had done many times before. However, this time something went horribly wrong. Toby ended up shocking Kristen for just a few seconds too long, and she died as a result of cardiac arrest. Toby, understandably embarrassed, initially told the authorities that Kristen had innocently electrocuted herself while reaching for a blow dryer during a shower. Pretty soon it was clear Kristen’s death was not the result of an innocent mishap.
9. The Lion Eats Tonight
Many people enjoy the thrill they get from having sex outdoors. Combine the thrill of being outdoors with the thrill of being outdoors near a pride of lions, and the excitement of it all might just be too much to take. It certainly was for a Zimbabwe woman in 2013. She and her boyfriend were having sex near a pride of lions – yes, you read that correctly. The woman, Sharai Mawera, was mauled to death by the lions, although her unidentified male partner was able to escape. The man ran off when the lions approached, leaving Mawera to meet her fate. The man eventually admitted to police what had happened and how he ran from the scene wearing only a condom. So much for safe sex.
8. An Extreme Game of Hangman
People enjoy all type of fetish activities, and UK man Simon Burley, was no exception. The 38-year-old man had a very special request for his girlfriend, and this request would ultimately cause his death. In 2007, he asked his lover, Elizabeth Hallam, to hang him from a noose during foreplay while she pretended to be a Neo-Nazi. The plan was for Hallam to kick the chair out from under Burley and then cut him down with a nearby knife. All went according to plan until the knife they had chosen was too dull to cut the rope from which he was hanged. Hallam was unable to get Burley down in time and by the time paramedics arrived, it was too late to revive him.
People have been getting it on in cars for ages (remember Jack and Rose in “Titanic?”). In 2006, a 23-year-old man and his 17-year-old female lover were looking for a good place to have a good time, and they decided on the front seat of a 1978 Cutlass. Sounds innocent enough, but the problem was that the Cutlass was in a closed garage, and they did not think to open the garage before they started the car to let it warm up. The victims’ families became concerned and began to look for the couple after they had been missing for a day. A cousin of one of the victim’s discovered the two lovers’ dead bodies. A medical examiner later noted that the levels of carbon monoxide were so high that even the car stopped working due to lack of oxygen, which is also what killed these two thrill-seekers.
6. Piano Man
Some say there’s nothing like some romantic music to get them in the mood. Perhaps this notion is what Condor Club bouncer Jimmy Ferrozzo and his girlfriend, Theresa Hill, had in mind when they decided to make love atop a hanging piano in 1983. The piano was suspended from the ceiling in the club at which Ferrozzo worked, and it was typically lowered to the ground while topless dancers performed on top of it. After the club had closed one evening, Ferrozzo and Hill were getting freaky on the piano when they accidentally activated the lift that raised it to the roof. Unable to stop it, Ferrozzo was crushed to death between the ceiling and the piano, with Hill left trapped beneath him. A janitor discovered them the next morning, and Hill was finally freed after an hours-long process. Today, the Condor Club offers a drink called “Sex on the Piano” to commemorate the grisly incident.
5. A Deadly Threesome
Sergey Tuganov was a gambling man. So much so that when two women he was about to have sex with bet him $4,300 USD to swallow a whole bottle of Viagra pills and then have sex for 12 hours straight, he just couldn’t say no. Tuganov successfully took the whole bottle of pills, completing one part of the wager, but he died before he could participate in a 12 hour sex marathon. It only took a few minutes for the Viagra to overcome Tuganov, and he died from a heart attack. Talk about too much of a good thing!
4. The Straw Doll
An Argentinian man, Jose Alberto was found dead in his home after neighbors complained to authorities of a smell coming from his apartment. The police thought they came across two bodies, but when they got closer they realized one was a scarecrow dressed up as a woman. The scarecrow had lipstick on and a long haired wig. There were apparently no signs of violence and the authorities are still waiting for the autopsy report, as this happened recently (April 2015). Unknown if this man had any friends or family close by, but then again who would want to share the unsettling story of how he passed?
3. Loving on the Edge
While many people choose not to mix business and pleasure, this was not the case for Robert Salazar and his co-worker Sandra Orellana in 1996. They were in California for a business trip when they decided to get it on in their hotel balcony after enjoying several drinks together. Alcohol and heights do not tend to mix well, and this was certainly true for Salazar and Orellana. When they tried to switch positions, Orellana slipped off the edge of the balcony and fell to her death. Her death did not have enough evidence to charge Salazar successfully with murder, but to this day, her family insists this death was no accident.
2. The Heat of the Moment
Matthew McConaughey is known for having committed some wild antics in his past, but many people do not know that his father died a relatively wild death himself. McConaughey’s mother penned a memoir titled “I Amaze Myself” in 2008 in which she recounts how her husband Jim died. She said that during one of their routine Monday-morning lovemaking sessions she “knew that something was wrong, because I didn’t hear anything from him. Just nothing, but it was just the best way to go!” Sadly, we’ll never know if Jim agrees that this was the best way to go because his silence was due to his sudden death from a sex-induced heart attack.
1. Double Trouble
A Japanese couple had been together for 14 years before they worked up the nerve to consummate their marriage. Sachi and Tomio Hidaka were both very sexually repressed 34-year-olds. When they went to lose their virginity to each other on their wedding night, they were both so overcome by the new sensations that they each died of a heart attack simultaneously. While it may not be as romantic as the ending of “The Notebook” when the two main characters die at the same time, at least the Hidaka’s didn’t ever have to live without each other.
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