Are you an adult between the ages of 18-72 who finds themselves falling asleep around the same time every night? Do you often have feelings ranging from, but not limited to, moderate sadness when something sad occurs? If so, contact us to be a part of our clinical study deciphering the impact that the migratory patterns of birds has on your ability to tell time.
Okay, so that’s not a real experiment. But it’s not all that far out there when you compare it to some of the legitimate ones that actually do exist. Check out this list of 10 of the strangest medical trials that will leave you asking the questions “why?” and “who even paid for that?”
10 Are Male Science “Nerds” Likely To Be Virgins?
Yes, an actual study conducted by Australian psychotherapist Stephen Carroll, set out to determine if male students ages 16 to 25 years old, who actively worked in the science industry, were more likely to still be virgins. The conclusion? A not-very-surprising yes.
“The work ethic of science students and their devotion to the lab kept them out of environments where they would meet women,” Carroll said. Well that is groundbreaking information, isn't it? It turns out, though that the most sexually actively student in their study turned out to be female art students.
9 Are Television Viewers Unhappy?
Television might make you feel temporarily happy, but the long term effects are much more negative. That was the conclusion of a study conducted by researchers at the University of Maryland. What the study revealed was that people who consider themselves “very happy” were those who spent more time reading, socializing and being active. Those who considered themselves “unhappy” primarily watched television. So, basically an entire study was conducted to determine that couch potatoes don’t do much that they find fulfilling. While that’s probably something most people could have concluded without a study, the question it does seem to raise is, does the avid television viewer watch TV because they’re unhappy? Or are they unhappy because they watched television? The world may never know. Until that study is done, of course.
8 Do Herring Communicate With Other Herring By Passing Gas?
You read that right. While this one isn’t a clinical study involving humans, the humor factor alone makes it worthy of a spot on the list. Two teams performed this study, one in British Columbia and the other in Scotland, which set out to determine whether or not the noise that herring create underwater, which is caused from releasing air bubbles from their anuses, was essentially their own language. Researchers named the release of the air 'Fast Repetitive Tick', which becomes the acronym FRT. Clearly, these are researchers with a good sense of humor.
7 Do Curvy Hips Make You Smarter?
Good news, ladies. There’s a possibility that the curvier your hips, the more intelligent you are. The University of Pittsburgh and the University of California, Santa Barbara poured over data from a study conducted of over 16,000 women’s body measurements, in correlation to their education levels and scores on various cognitive tests. The results showed that women who had a waist that was approximately 70 percent of the diameter of their hips, scored better on IQ and cognitive tests and also have a slightly higher level of education than women with a higher waist-to-hip ratio. So, it looks like Shakira might be a bonafide Einstein.
6 Headbangers Ball
If you can believe it, someone actually deemed it necessary to study whether or not banging your head up and down, in a repetitive motion, would be bad for you. But, brand new research conducted by doctors at the Hannover Medical School has determined that it’s slightly worse than you might have thought. Results from their work showed that the act of headbanging might actually cause brain damage. It began with a 50 year old man who had no previous medical problems or drug history, and experienced painful headaches two weeks after he was headbanging at a Motorhead concert.
If nothing else, it explains Beavis and Butthead pretty well.
5 Measuring The Weight Of The Soul
If you've ever seen the movie 21 Grams, then you know there’s a theory that the weight of the human soul weighs 21 Grams. That’s based on the experiment conducted by Duncan MacDougall in the early 20th century. He didn't test specifically on humans, but a bunch of cats and dogs and measured their weight difference after their time of death which came to 21 grams.
4 The Sexiness Of Red
A study trying to determine whether men found women more attractive when in red was conducted by the University of Rochester. They posed various men with the question asking if they were going on a date with $100, how much of it would they be willing to spend on each woman and then presenting them with photos of different potential dates, wearing different colors. The results showed that the women who were wearing red were more likely to have the most money spent on them and were rated significantly more attractive and desirable to men. So, keep that in mind next time you’re on a date, ladies. If you want to order the surf n’ turf, put on the red dress.
3 Do Married Couples Really Start To Look Alike?
You've probably heard that dogs and their owners begin to look alike, as do married couples. So, one study decided it would try to uncover how much merit the latter theory had. Psychologist Robert Zajonc, from the University of Michigan, presented 110 participants with photographs of random faces they didn't know and were asked to pair the men with the women who most closely resembled them. The first half of the test used photographs from couples when they were first married, the second half of the test used photographs of people who had been married over 25 years. Results showed that the participants were much better able to accurately pair the couples together who had been married for a long time, then when they were newlyweds.
2 Does Foot Size Have Any Relation To Penis Size?
Those wonderful Brits! Who hasn't long since wondered if foot size really does have anything to do with the size of a man’s package? Well, The University College in London decided to find out, once and for all. The researchers measured the sizes of 104 men’s feet in conjunction with their penises. With underwhelming results, however, the test concluded that there is no scientific evidence that supports the claim of a relationship between foot size and package size. So, there’s still a chance that Shaq is much smaller than the size of his gigantic foot would have you believe.
1 Does Semen Work As An Antidepressant?
In a study that almost seems like it was engineered by a bunch of frat boys, legitimate scientists decided to find out whether or not semen worked as an antidepressant. The study was brought on to confirm or deny a hypothesis posed back in 1986, that said women who had intercourse without a condom were less depressed than those who did. So Gallup, Burch and Platek set out to find a correlation between the use of condoms, and the levels of depression in undergraduate women by conducting interviews. Their conclusions did prove that the women they spoke to who didn't use condoms during sex were less depressed than the women who did, but the study has been highly criticized for not being scientific or in depth enough to accurately judge. Considering that they didn't include any variables like committed relationships, versus one night stands, it’s easy to unscientifically conclude that this study was just a big waste of tax-payer money for frat boy enjoyment.