10 Most Absurd Oppositions To Same Sex Marriage

As same sex marriage bans began crumbling across the country, opponents have gone to great lengths to try and keep marriage equality from happening. Most will simply appear on some news program and voice their opinion; however, a rare few have decided that talking was not good enough. Instead, they have gone above and beyond to get their views heard, even if it makes them look ridiculous.

Some plastered themselves across social media in an effort to expose hypocrisy, while others donated their money in the most unusual of ways. Some lawmakers opposed to same sex marriage, even created laws that will hurt the very people they are trying to support. As the Supreme Court begins to hear arguments on same sex marriage, one can only hope that these absurd methods cease.


10 Memories Pizza Gets A Major Fund

While Indiana was trying to pass its religious freedom bill, a reporter wandered into a local pizza place and asked the owners their thoughts. Kevin and Crystal O’Conner, the father/daughter team at Memories Pizza, casually said that while they would still serve gay people in their restaurant, they would never cater a gay wedding. Skipping over the fact that they had never been asked (and probably never would have been), the O’Conners created a firestorm without actually trying. According to owners, things got so bad that they actually had to shut their doors. Luckily, conservatives were there to save the day, and raised nearly one million dollars in 48 hours. If that doesn't say take that, then nothing else will.

9 Louder With Crowder

via: Wikipedia

Former Fox News contributor, Steven Crowder has a history of releasing videos that supposedly uncover hypocrisy, and he continued his tradition by disguising himself as a gay man looking to have a cake made for his wedding. The twist: Crowder only went to Muslim bakeries. His point was that no one was attacking Muslims for their beliefs, only Christians, which is why he made the video. However, the video does not exactly make it clear if Crowder was being turned down for being gay (according to The Huffington Post, one of the bakeries doesn’t even make wedding cakes), or for just being obvious about his intentions.

8 A Horse Is A Horse, Unless It Is Your Bride

Many opponents of same-sex-marriage often state that if SSM ever becomes legalized, then the next step is for someone to marry an animal. One Mississippi pastor decided to give people a taste of that logic when he literally placed a wedding dress on a horse and carried around signs that suggested this is what Americans had to look forward to if we allowed marriage equality. Pastor Edward James wanted to show that two men getting married looked as ridiculous as the horse, but the horse was oddly silent on the matter. Perhaps that is because a horse, unlike humans, cannot give consent.

7 Finding Hypocrisy Through YouTube

via: YouTube

Like Stephen Crowder, Theodore Shoebat decided to call up some bakeries and see if he could have a cake made. Except in his case, Shoebat decided to contact Gay friendly bakeries and ask for a “Gay Marriage is Wrong” cake. He assumed they would all flat out refuse, giving him a chance to call them out on their hypocrisy. Again, like Crowder, he posted the results on YouTube. As you can imagine, the bakeries did deny the writing, however most were still willing to work with him. One baker even proposed selling the icing and tools Shoebat would need to write the words himself. But Shoebat pressed them, making it clear to the people on the phone that he had an agenda all along.

6 Just Look At Prison

Ben Carson was (once) seen as a presidential hopeful; well, that is up until he started speaking. The former neurosurgeon was certainly not shy about his controversial anti-gay views, especially his thoughts on sexuality being a choice for gay people. What was his proof? Male prisoners. That's right. According to Carson, some go in straight, but they come out gay. Yup, that was it.

5 I’m Straight, And I Own My Marriage


In 2014, married Kansas couple Phillip and Sandra Unruh decided to take matters into their own hands regarding same sex marriage, when they filed a motion to intervene with the U.S. District court for the District of Kansas. The couple claimed that embracing the freedom to marry would result in a gay couple seizing their property, which is what they considered their marriage to be. Not only that, but they threw in a few other whoppers, such as; marriage has always been between one man and one woman, Same-sex couples are being greedy by seeking recognition and that marriage equality directly harms straight people.

4 If You Want Your Paycheck, Don’t Give Them a License

It seems that Texas lawmakers have wasted no time trying to find ways to combat a successful court ruling for same sex marriage, with one particular bill aimed at the livelihood of government officials who try to issue licenses to gay couples. The bill, a knee-jerk reaction thought up by Republican Cecil Bell, uses what he calls to “the power of the purse” to take away pay and benefits for any local official that go against the previously voter approved ban on SSM.


3 They’ll Go Away Soon Enough

via: Wikipedia

Sometimes it is not the absurd things people do, but what they say that makes news. If you want proof, look no further than The 700 Club host Pat Robertson. Despite all the insane rants he has given over the years, Pat Robertson should be at the top of this list, but only finds himself at number three. The televangelist has said a large number of head-scratchers during his entire career, including recent remarks that florists will now have to provide flowers for someone marrying their dog. But the winner goes to this one spectacular assumption that Robertson made on a 2014 broadcast of his show, in which he claimed that “You know, those who are homosexual will die out because they don’t reproduce.” Unfortunately no one told him that straight people have gay children too.

2 Nail Biters Don’t Have Rights Either

Back in the day, beauty pageant winner/ Orange Juice Spokeswoman Anita Bryant, was no stranger to attacking LGBT rights. During the late 70’s, Bryant got into quite a hissy fit when Dade County, Florida, tried to pass an ordinance that prohibited discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation. Believing that this was a method of recruitment for the Gay Community, Bryant did everything in her power to get the law repealed, and succeeded. In Bryant’s mind, she had to do it; after all "If gays are granted rights, next we'll have to give rights to prostitutes and to people who sleep with St. Bernards and to nail biters." Lesson from this: never get caught with your fingers in your mouth.

1 California’s Proposed 'Kill The Gays' Bill

In what has to be the worst, most absurd reaction to same-sex-Marriage, a California attorney named Matt McLaughlin proposed a ballot measure that would make it legal to execute gay men and women by ‘bullets to the head’ or ‘any other convenient method.’ Called the “Sodomite Suppression Act,” the ballot suggested that it is better for offenders to die than having everyone else feels God’s wrath. Opponents of the initiative countered with one of their very own: “The Shellfish Suppression Act,” which would bar shellfish from being served because they are evil, and they smell really bad.



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