You know what's always funny to hear about? Bad one night stands. Because one night stands, as a whole, are pretty awful. Doing the deed with someone you barely know rarely leads to an amazing sexual encounter or finding the love of your life, (and if you did luck out on finding the love of your life then it technically doesn't count as a one night stand anyway). Even if the sex was great, there is soooo much potential for it to go awry during or after sex.
Having a one night stand also ups your chances of possibly going home with a certifiable crazy person who likes to recite lines from The Godfather while he's banging you or someone who has a weird fetish you didn't know about until you're doing the deed and he suddenly asks you to step on his balls with your high heels because it's the only thing that makes him orgasm (true story). There's a myriad of shameful, embarrassing and cringe worthy things that could happen during a one night stand and odds are at least one will happen at any given time. Which is why when we searched for horrible one night stands, they weren't hard too find. (Fake names have been used to protect the shamed.)
10 Extra Credit
There is nothing more embarrassing than your kids catching you during or post sex. Fumbling for excuses as you try not to stand near them so that the shameful thing you just did doesn't taint the innocent air they breath is the biggest boner killer ever. Well imagine it was a one night stand and the kid in question happens to be in your class because you're a teacher at an elementary school who's boinking their dad.
Sex is a lot like dancing. Everyone likes to do it, but some of us just can't. And there's nothing wrong with being bad at sex because you're probably in good company. But you would at least think that even the most gullible of lovers would know the basic mechanics of sex. Especially with men, because you can't really screw up when it comes to thrusting right? Well, not for the guy "Teri" hooked up with. She confessed to us via Facebook that her worst one night stand happened with a guy she had a long standing crush on ever since they were kids. Fast forward to college, they reunite when they go home for the holidays, sparks fly and next thing you know.... she's struggling for breath.
8 WHOA Cowboy
So this one isn't really a 'one night stand' but this story is equal parts funny, terrifying and sends out a great message on why you need to be careful about who you go home with.
Reddit user "lil preying mantis" said that in college she was befriended by one her classmates, who also happened to be a little person. It was clear he had a crush on her but they were just good friends. One day, three of her classes were cancelled so she had some time to kill. He insisted they hang out at his house because it was raining and the cafeteria was packed. He also promised her that his aunt and Mother were home. By the time she got to his house, which was located in an isolated forest area (yikes!), she realized too late that he had lied about his aunt and mother, because no one was there. And if that wasn't bad enough, her WTF meter was on full alert when she noticed that his house was covered with pictures of himself dressed as a cowboy. Apparently he used to wrestle baby cows at the rodeo and totally proud as f*ck about it. When she sat down, pocket-sized cowboy tried to get on top of her with his "chicken nugget boner" in full display. She pushed him off and threatened to slice his throat with a pocket knife if he didn't give her a ride back to school.
7 Step Away From The Chili Ring
6 The Ill Equipped
5 Hi Mom!
Nothing turns a wonderful one night stand into a big ball of awkward with a side of trauma than accidentally meeting your one night stand's mom the next morning. A Whisper user confessed that the morning after her one night stand, his mom gave her a onesie to wear and talked to them for two hours.
4 Requiem For A Nightmare
3 The Never Mind Sex Tape
2 Yeah, More Butt Stuff
1 When You're Playing With Their Pet And You Feel Something Wet ...
We're not saying all one night stands are awful, we're just saying one night stands are a lot of awfuls just waiting to happen, no matter how sexy your intentions are with each other, because shit happens.
And shit literally did happen to an unlucky girl who was having some blowjob fun with her first boyfriend in high school. At first, she recalls that everything seemed fine and then suddenly, she feels the sensation of something warm and wet on her chest. She looked down and realized that his ass had vomited diarrhea all over her shirt. We sincerely hope she was wearing a button-up shirt because otherwise ... (jezebel.com)
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