I’ll come right out and say that I’m probably going to get hate for this one. In the current waVe of comic book movies, reboots, sequels, and epic originals, there is no shortage of movies to be excited for in the future. I could probably name ten off the top of my head. From Disney’s upcoming Moana all the way to the bombastic Avengers: Infinity War. There’s always some movie coming out that I want to see, and my wallet is starting to feel it.
However, with every exciting movie scheduled to hit the theaters, there are probably two or three terrible ones coming. Whether they’re independent films no one has ever heard of or mainstream blockbusters that are doomed to fail, we have more uninteresting movies than we can count. Unfortunately, that trend is not going to see a decline anytime soon, with 2016 and 2017 alone full of movies that probably shouldn’t even be made.
It’s a very similar case to Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Road Chip. Next to nobody wanted to see it, and it came out the same day as Star Wars: The Force Awakens. Why even spend all of the money to make a movie if it’s doomed to fail from the very beginning? Granted not all bad movies are doomed to fail (i.e. the Twilight franchise), but that doesn’t mean that they should still be released. In fact, here are fifteen movies where the producers should just cancel altogether, because the world would probably be better off without them.
Kicking off this list is the one we all knew needed to be here, and probably the whole reason I wrote this list in the first place. The original Ghostbusters is an untouchable film that still holds up to this day. When it was announced that Sony would be rebooting the franchise, there was some skepticism to be had. Then they released the trailer and all hell broke loose. Not only does this new Ghostbusters feel more like some weird comedy, but it seems to lack many of the things that made the original great. The set pieces are there such as a cast of four characters, a wacky secretary, and plenty of ghosts, but the film seems to lack the subtle things about the original. It seems to be modernized in a bad way. This is more personal preference, but I’m not even fond of the lead roles. Not only that, but the trailers have several comments to racial and sexist slurs, and as an audience member, that can be very annoying. Is it too hard to make a movie without presenting some political agenda in 2016?
14. Andy Serkis’s Jungle Book
Don’t get me wrong, I love Andy Serkis, and he will always be one of the biggest reasons why Lord of the Rings is my favorite movie series of all time. But in the context of the Jungle Book franchise, he’d probably be better off skipping out on this one. The Jungle Book has just recently been remade into a live-action by director Jon Favreau. And much to everybody’s surprise, it was a phenomenal film full of great direction, heart, and a refreshing take on the classic animated tale. With all of the buzz surrounding that movie, the bar has been set very high. Serkis will not only have to meet that bar but raise it if he wants it to be successful. Not only that, but people are getting tired of reboots as it stands now, and they’ll probably be even more tired of it by the time this movie comes out. So from the outset, a large portion of the audience has already been lost to fatigue. Even if it ends up being a good movie, it will not do as well as it could or should. Serkis might benefit more from focusing on other projects to bank on.
I love Gambit. I love everything about him. I love his look, his powers, his personality, even his ridiculous quarterstaff. You would think then that someone like me would be excited for the Gambit movie. Well, I’m not. The biggest reason for that is I’m not fond of the direction they’re taking it. First off, letting Channing Tatum run the show as well as play Gambit is a misstep in my book. I think Tatum is a fine actor, but when it comes to serious and more action-packed stuff, he’s never fully delivered (watch Jupiter Ascending to see what I mean). Even if he’s simply decent, that won’t be good enough for the fan base either. Gambit is a movie that has been asked to be made for many years, so there is a lot to fulfill. If this doesn’t end up meeting the audience’s wish in some way, it will be panned hard. Not only that, but the production on the film seems to be going so awry, there are doubts as to whether this movie will actually be made or not. Fox should just wipe this one from the schedule and focus on X-Men and Deadpool.
12. The Secret Life Of Pets
Illumination Entertainment has two good movies up their sleeves: Despicable Me and Despicable Me 2. All of their other movies have been on the range of okay to terrible. Naturally, after their success with Despicable Me, they would try their hand at another marketable franchise to see if it sticks. Unfortunately, what we’re getting is The Secret Life of Pets. The premise itself doesn’t sound fleshed out enough to make a whole movie, and after seeing the trailers, it feels like a hipster version of Bolt. Out of the footage I’ve seen, there isn’t anything that makes me want to see this movie. It’s definitely aimed at kids, but as Disney, Pixar, and Dreamworks have shown, you can make a kids’ movie but be meaningful to adults at the same time. The Secret Life of Pets instead seems to rely on not-so-subtle poop jokes to get a few laughs (watch the video above to know what I’m talking about). When are studios going to learn that bathroom humor is not funny. What’s even worse about this movie is that Illumination Entertainment is using their success of the Minions franchise to market this movie. Right away from the trailers, audiences know that the people that made Minions made this film. If you ask me, it’d be be better off never being released.
11. Ice Age: Collision Course
I would like anybody who genuinely wanted a fifth Ice Age movie to raise their hands right now. Now I would like anybody who even wanted a fourth Ice Age movie to raise their hands. Still no one? That’s what I thought. Blue Sky had a great hit when the first Ice Age film debuted, but the sequels have slowly declined in quality since then. Continental Drift was horribly disappointing to me as an Ice Age fan, so I thought the studio was finished with that franchise. Then seemingly out of nowhere, Collision Course gets announced and I have yet to meet a soul who is greatly anticipating it. It seems that with each installment in the franchise, they focus on bigger and better problems for our unlikely heroes to face. The big problem with these movies is that the studio forgets what made the first film so great in the first place. It wasn’t an over the top plot or even a large cast of characters. It was about three people from different walks of life put together to take a lost child home. If they can’t put that quality or heart back into these movies, they should just cancel them altogether.
10. Avatar 2
From a financial perspective, there really is no reason why this movie shouldn’t be released. Until The Avengers, Avatar was one of the highest grossing movies of all time. However, purely from a cinematic perspective, there are a lot of good reasons why this film should just be canceled. The first Avatar only did so well because the effects used were so new and groundbreaking that everybody wanted to get a taste of it. I’ll be the first to tell you that the film is not as good as people made it out to be – not even close. Avatar tells an incredibly long tale that has nothing memorable about it. The story was disjointed, the message was in your face, and it was so long that I remember checking the time frequently because I just wanted the film to be over. So if James Cameron takes a similar direction with the second Avatar, he should just scrap it completely. If, however, he has something up his sleeve, he should continue by all means.
9. Transformers: The Last Knight
Anybody that knows me knows that if there’s one franchise I can’t stand, it’s the Transformers film franchise. The first one was okay. The second one was awful. The third one was better, but still bad. And the fourth one was just boring. I just really don’t understand that despite all of the hate these movies get, how they still end up being so successful. Age of Extinction was given a Razzie award, and it was still one of the highest grossing movies of 2014. I sincerely don’t understand. I have zero excitement for Transformers: The Last Knight. Unless the studio fires Michael Bay, brings back the fun the TV shows had and brings in Unicron and Cybertron, I will not see this movie. There just isn’t anything these movies offer that is truly interesting. Because of these movies, many people have a skewed view of the Transformers franchise now, and it’s up to the TV shows and video games to keep their good image going. This movie needs to be canceled badly, and I think many people would rejoice rather than be upset about that.
8. Fifty Shades Darker
What if I told you that an aspiring author who loved the Twilight series begun writing a fanfiction? What if I told you that the fanfiction eventually became its own story? What if I told you the majority of that story was written on an old Blackberry? What if I told you that story would become a movie? Yes, this is the story of Fifty Shades of Grey, another franchise that holds none of my respect. As a writer and storyteller, I find it quite insulting to be completely honest. Where I spend time making my story my own and ironing out the kinks, somebody who loved Twilight can write a fanfiction, get it published, and be really successful. Meanwhile, I’m still struggling to get noticed. Those are the kinds of things that really get under my skin. Even in the movie realm, this franchise is taking notes from Twilight. The first movie was pretty awful, yet they’re still moving forward with the sequel, which will probably be as bad if not worse. You know, I feel really bad for all of the boyfriends, husbands, and brothers who get dragged into this movie when it comes out.
7. Pitch Perfect 3
Here’s where I’m going to get some more hate. While I enjoyed the original Pitch Perfect, due to it being excellent in the story it wanted to tell, the second one I didn’t like so much. I will go on to say that when I saw Pitch Perfect 2, that was the only time I ever fell asleep in a theater. You see, Pitch Perfect is a comedy centered around music’s acapella scene. Typically, every sequel to a comedy will never be as good as the original because you cannot rely on the same gags and jokes that made the first such a big hit. This is the case with Pitch Perfect, not to mention that in the sequel there were lots of racial stereotyping and even convenient plot devices that simply moved the story forward (I’m mostly talking about the girls finding their voice while at that camp). It will only end up being more downhill with the third one, I have no doubt. That being said, it will probably be successful, because I know a lot of people that love Pitch Perfect. This is another one of those “purely from a cinematic perspective” deals, but either way, it should probably just be canceled.
6. Fast 8
Somebody please explain to me how the Fast and Furious franchise has even gone on for this long. How many unrealistic stunts with cars can one do until the writers run out of ideas? If the characters end up driving on a highway that takes them to outer space, I wouldn’t be surprised one bit. Although, they’d more likely drive on a highway to Hell. The later Fast and Furious movies were just poorly conceived, and now serve as just movies for people that really like cars, or at least think that they do. The fact that they’ve even made seven movies up to this point astounds me. They’re not even good (minus the first few that is). I think the only redeeming quality about this movie is that Charlize Theron is going to be in it, who is a phenomenal actress in my opinion. Other than that, it’s just going to be another crazy movie about people that drive cars, and the action scenes will have people driving cars and fighting at the same time. The roads will be unrealistically straight and long, but they’ll end up running over somebody at some point.
5. The Nut Job 2
I think it really goes without saying why this film should just be canceled and forgotten about. The fact that the Nut Job was as successful as it was boggles my mind. The animation was crappy, the premise seemed like a stepbrother of Over the Hedge, and the pop culture references were dated and tried to hard to appeal to kids. Nonetheless, it did well, and garnered enough funds to make a sequel, aptly titled The Nut Job 2. I guess you could say this fits right in with Twilight. This movie was panned by critics, but somehow performed really well at the box office. Typically, when you have a movie at the level of quality like The Nut Job, any sequel will be substantially worse, unless they decide to change their focus on the film. My bet is that The Nut Job 2 will not do well at all, and will probably be overshadowed by what else comes out around that time. Kids will probably be much more interested in seeing Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 anyways. Lord knows that’s what I’ll be watching.
4. The Divergent Series: Ascendant
Any of you that have seen Insurgent or Allegiant know exactly why Ascendant is on this list. The first Divergent film was okay at best, with a decent premise and concept. Once Insurgent came out, the franchise fell flat on its face. It became just another clone of The Hunger Games, and a poor one at that. Still, some people held out hope that Allegiant would be just a little bit better. Spoiler alert: it wasn’t. Then as the final nail in the coffin, Allegiant performed so poorly at the box office that the budget was slashed for the upcoming Ascendant. Guess they shouldn’t have split the last book into two parts. When all is said and done, when the Divergent series finishes its course next year, nobody is going to look back and remember what a great franchise it was. Most likely, it will fall into the realm of forgotten movies that end up in the bargain bin at Dollar General. If you ask me, the producers should just quit while they’re behind. Is there anything to even let us believe Ascendant will be good or successful?’
3. Cars 3
While I know that many people didn’t really like the first Cars movie, I actually enjoyed it. Not to mention the scene where Lightning willingly loses the race to help The King is one of the most powerful scenes in movie history. Then Pixar decided to make Cars 2. Believe me, there are a lot of problems with that film. First off, if you’re going to make a sequel, don’t do it on your least loved film, and that’s what leads right into the many issues. As a general rule of thumb when telling any story, if you have a character that serves mainly as comic relief, never put them in the main role. That almost never works out, unless said character has an added layer of depth, but that is not the case with Mater. Secondly, it lacks animation quality that we’ve come to expect from Pixar movies. Where as Finding Dory, Wall-E, and Up were beautiful masterpieces, Cars 2 just looked like a direct-to-video release. Cars 2 is the worst Pixar movie hands down. So when PIxar announced that among their many upcoming films that Cars 3 was on the list, I was surprised. It’s going to get even worse than Cars 2! Now perhaps Pixar has learned from their mistake with Cars 2, and Cars 3 will be much better; but is anybody really excited to see this one? Just remove this one from the list and bump up the release date on Incredibles 2, Pixar.
2. Emoji Movie: Express Yourself
Take a moment to completely understand what Emojis are. Emojis are cute little add-ons to make texting just a little bit more enjoyable. They are made to not only clarify tone of voice when texting, but also to add a bit of humor to your words. They are not plot devices capable of telling a 2-hour story. I had to make sure I was reading the headline right when I heard about this one. As it stands now, the Emoji movie seems to be the culmination of everything that has become popular in young culture today, and that’s not necessarily a good thing. Can you imagine people in a board room at Sony pitching movie ideas, and someone says, “Hey, let’s do one on those little faces the kids are using to text these days!” Then everyone cheers in excitement as they think they’ve hit the gold mine on this one. No. The Emoji movie needs to be canceled and it needs to be canceled fast. Sony is already on thin ice with Ghostbusters, if they go through with this film, too, they could end up entirely in the water.
1. Resident Evil: The Final Chapter
It is quite a feat of its own that the Resident Evil franchise has gone on this long already. They have undergone a process I like to call the sequel rut, where the franchise gets progressively worse with each installment. One redeeming quality I will mention is that Wentworth Miller got to be in one of the movies which ended up being a highlight, but other than that, there isn’t much to talk about here. I have yet to see a genuinely good videogame movie that I would like enough to buy on Blu-Ray and put in my library, and Resident Evil is no exception. I am excited for this movie solely because it’s the last one and we never have to worry about it ever again. Perhaps this movie shouldn’t be canceled because it will at least give some closure to the convoluted story, but then again, is there anybody that really cares about it that much at this point? They’d probably be better off just to simply end it where it stands and never speak of it again.
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