In life there are many “catch-22” situations with which nearly everyone has to deal. For those not sure of the meaning of this, it is in essence, “you’re damned if you do, and you’re damned if you don’t”. It’s also referred to as a “no win” situation.
At it’s most basic, simply putting an effort into one’s life is such a situation. Studying hard, getting a great job, earning a living and retiring with a nice home and a family takes a ton of work, but many will say it’s all worth it. But at the same time, someone living a slacker lifestyle (think The Dude in The Big Lebowski) might say that putting in effort, raising a family and working for a living are not worth the effort, and life should just be about white Russians, joints and bowling.
Romantic relationships can be much the same. You’re damned if you do, and you’re damned if you don’t. They can be damn hard, but in essence, if you don’t participate, chances at parenting children and developing a family are pretty much slim to nil. On the one hand, staying single and avoiding all serious emotional attachment can lead to some amazing nights and freedom, which is great. Never having to answer to anyone is pretty wonderful. At the same time, however, anyone who lives like this into their 50’s and 60’s will likely end up lonely.
Meanwhile the opposite, who shacks up at a young age may well wind up wondering what fun and shenanigans they could have gotten up to if they had lived without such a commitment. See, damned if you do, damned if you don’t. Hopefully this stream of consciousness thought didn’t make you miserable or uncomfortably introspective, because here are fifteen Tweets that perfectly describe feelings toward relationships.
15. Brian Gaar – All Males Can Relate
Texan stand up comedian Brian Gaar starts our list off with a Tweet that any man with what can even remotely be called a sense of humor can agree with. Women and men rarely share a sense of humor. In many cases, and please don’t shout that this is sexist, there is such a thing as “boy funny” and “girl funny”. Girl-funny may include cute anecdotes and silly puns, while boy funny often includes howling with laughter at the worst and most tasteless acts, ideas and situations known to human kind. Inevitably, a man will say something crude, and have to apologize. He will consider it one of the funniest things ever, but his lady friend will not agree.
14. Diggy Simmons – Be a Man
For those of you who haven’t heard of this lad, he’s a young rapper from New York. He’s also the son of Joseph Simmons, who was a member of Run-DMC. His Tweet is about as true as they come. Women want a strong, capable man. This obviously doesn’t mean being a bully or jerk, but it does mean being able to take what life throws at you and and help her with what life throws at her. If you can’t do this, get out of the way for the man who can. If you’re offended by this, you might not be the man she needs. Go hit the gym and eat some red meat.
13. Women Have Interesting Thought Processes
If you’re a male, the female psyche is a confusing labyrinth of questionable logic punctuated by occasional catastrophic thinking. It’s hard to tell whether this person’s Tweet is meant as a joke or if this is an exercise in logic. Either way it underscores a thought that any man has ever had in a heterosexual relationship: “how on Earth did she come to that conclusion?”
This is obviously an extreme example, but the point stands, men do not understand women and for our next point, the opposite is often true as well.
12. Nobody Thinks They Have Baggage
Within the context of dating and relationships, baggage, for those of you who don’t leave home, refers to emotional trauma one carries from relationship to relationship. For instance, if a man or woman is cheated on by a significant other, it is likely that he or she will have some trust issues moving forward. This is just one example, but there are hundreds, thousands…many forms baggage can take and an equal number of ways baggage can manifest itself throughout a relationship.
The problem is, however, that very few people will step up on a first date and say “hey, some stuff happened to me in a past relationship, if I freak out about X, I’m sorry, it’s just something I have to deal with”. The vast majority of people don’t realize that what’s normal to them may well seem like baggage to someone else.
11. Appearances VS Reality
The lesson here is very simple, as the television show How I Met Your Mother taught us, in every break-up there is a winner and a loser. Everyone in a relationship fights and at some point, you think about whether it’s worth continuing, in spite of the headache/ heartache.
Thomas violence, a funny Aussie who is talented at Twitter based comedy, Tweeted that one of the steps in any break-up is documenting what a great time one is having in order to show the world they’re okay. Everybody feels the heartbreak but nobody wants to admit it or address it.
10. Tread Carefully
We men rarely think carefully and women know that. So, when a girlfriend advises you to do so, you’ve already screwed up, either in deed or word, and it’s time to face the judge and executioner. In this case the judge and executioner are the same person, which is very efficient.
But this Tweet demonstrates the fact that in the parlance of relationships, there are certain words and phrases that should make every man’s “Ackbar Alarm” (it’s a trap) go off. This is one of them, and yes, if you are facing this question, it is time for some quick thinking and maybe, just a bit of grovelling.
9. Relationships Are Hard
A fan of singer/songwriter Frank Ocean nails it with this Tweet. You didn’t think they’d all be funny quotes, did you? This is pretty much the most awful thought one can have in a relationship, and most people have had it once or twice. Sometimes, you’ve tried hard, given the relationship everything you have and things still aren’t clicking. In this situation one is bound to wonder what is going on in the other person’s head and whether your time and effort is worth it. Back to the funny Tweets now.
8. It’s Okay To Be Weird
It’s okay to be weird when you’re in a relationship with someone, and sometimes it actually pays off. Once you know someone well and they’ve figured out your personality, actions that would normally be met with confusion or concern are met with laughter and in the case of this Tweet, sex. This is one of the perks of relationships and we all know it, only with a significant other can you be as much of a disturbed, weird, awkward, twisted being as you want.
7. Communication Is Important But Difficult
I often wonder whether comedians just live far more interesting lives than the rest of us or if the stories they tell are fabricated. This is the case with comedian Kyle Ayers who live-Tweeted a breakup going on between a couple in his building. During what was undoubtedly a heated exchange, the woman said that she wasn’t “looking for marriage, just what’s right below marriage”. This makes very little sense, unless she’s talking about a ceremony in a church basement. In all however, the Tweet shows that while communication is essential in any relationship, it can be very difficult, especially in times of stress or passion.
6. You Never Know
This could go either way, but in this Tweet, the writer is clearly a man, lamenting the fact that a girl he was obviously into, thought of him only as a source of free meals. The bottom line, and this is very similar to number nine, is that man or woman, you never really know what’s going on in the other person’s head. If they are a poor actor, you may get a better idea, but ultimately, it’s hard to read someone, especially if they are dedicated to the search and acquisition of food, like this case.
5. Comfort Level – Infinity
In response to someone asking “why would you want to be in a relationship?” it is never a bad idea to answer something to the effect of “I like having a side kick on life’s adventures.” Whether these adventures end at the threshold of a bathroom is up to each couple as they define the boundaries of their relationship. But getting back to the overall point, another of the perks to having a significant other is that you can do things like SnapChat from the can, and if it is true love, said pictures will be received with a smile and a chuckle.
4. When You’re Single
This one is plain and simple, if you’re not in a relationship, seeing the cute, mushy nonsense that couples do can be irritating. It isn’t necessarily a case of being miserable and hating anyone in a healthy, affectionate relationship, but more often just a moment of “damn, do I really need to be seeing stuff that looks like it’s out of a cheesy romance movie?”
After all, nobody wants to catch a bad case of feelings.
3. Debatably True
This should read: relationship sex is like pizza. Not all sex is like pizza. It can be bad, but when it is truly bad, and not at all satisfying, it’s usually two strangers who met at a bar and are trying to get it on while blind drunk. That’s when it’s bad. Everyone’s had a night like that, let’s just move on and try to forget it.
But in a relationship, when two people have figured out each others likes and dislikes, it is like fireworks.
2. Keep it to Yourself
Whether you’re single or paired off, seeing someone perpetually posting miserable, intimate details of the misdoings of a lover and the difficulties of relationships is beyond irritating. It is frustrating enough that relationships bring so much drama in the first place, let alone that some people decide to overshare on social media. The moral of the story here is that whatever happens between two people should probably stay between two people and not be posted on the internet in a desperate bid for attention.
1. Significant Others Are Useful
Aside from being a companion and a fun person to get weird with between the sheets, whether you’re male or female, a significant other has a thousand uses beyond affection. Molly McAleer is one of the founders of HelloGiggles, a blog for women that is associated with actress and Katy Perry lookalike Zooey Deschanel. She pretty much hit the nail on the head with this one and pointed out that there are plenty of situations in which a relationship just means someone else can give you a helping hand when you need one: like grabbing a smoke when your nails are wet.
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