In today’s world, there remains somewhat of a stigma surrounding strip clubs. Despite the entire world being privy to the details of every celebrity’s sex life and a nearly infinite amount of free adult videos on the internet, going to a well-lit bar in which young women (or men) remove their clothes is a pastime that remains frowned upon.
The fact of the matter is however, traditional morality can cause people to frown and wave fingers all day but these clubs still exists and still make plenty of money, as do their dancers. There are some that are less than kind to their girls, which is nothing short of a tragedy, but for those legitimate club owners and the girls who freely practice their trade and make their living, we salute you.
Like everything else in life however, not all things are created the same, and of course this applies to strip clubs. Much like regular bars, restaurants, movies and people in general, some are terrible; a few are okay but unremarkable, and some are good. I’d like to do a more accurate breakdown of exactly how many of the clubs out there fall into which category, but I don’t have enough single dollar bills. Getting back to the matter at hand, aside from the “terrible”, “alright” and “good” categories, there are those rare and elusive strip clubs that are nothing short of life-changing. Here is our list of those wonderful skin bars that should be visited by every man (who likes that sort of thing) before he meets his maker. We’ve tried to keep a balance between clubs that are awesome overall and those clubs that have a gimmick that makes them essential.
12. 2001 Odyssey – Tampa, Florida
This place was selected as the best nude bar in Tampa for a decade back in the 2000’s until 2012. To this day, it still has a great reputation in the area and offers something different every night of the week. Monday is local’s night, and Saturday is couple’s night for instance. The club has a space theme, and a flying saucer built into the roof. For a couple hundred dollars it is possible to get a dance up there.
11. Acropolis Steakhouse – Portland, Oregon
While the vast majority of gentlemen’s clubs offer food, most do not offer solid quality. Obviously some buffets and menus are better than others, but the Acropolis is really something special. They offer some of the finest dancers in the area, but on top of that, even the steak is great and they offer over sixty beers on tap. Really, what does a man need outside of women with little-to-nothing on? Well that’s easy, a great steak, and a respectable beer selection.
10. Chez Paree – Montreal, Canada
I had to pick one club from Montreal, because it really is the party capital of the frozen, northern tundra. There are tons to choose from and many have names that are pretty comical, from Club Super Sexe, to Le Chateau du Sexe (literally translates to Sex Castle or Sex Mansion, because the owners are clearly creative geniuses).
We chose Chez Paree because while it does not specialize in any one aspect of the strip club experience, it offers a great selection of booze, has beautiful women, and is one of the more upscale venues for this type of entertainment. Feel free to criticize/discuss our choice in the comments section. Oh, and they offer specials during hockey season.
9. The Saint Venus Theater – New York
This is an interesting case, because the Saint Venus Theater will not call itself a strip club. Nor will it go by the name of “cabaret” or a burlesque party or anything like that. It is considered a one of a kind event. With that said however, much of what goes on in a normal strip club, goes on in SVT.
It changes locations frequently and is open three nights per week. Adding some thrill to the experience, there is an application process required before one can even be invited to events, which are by invite only. On top of this, the women are (claimed to be) all natural and amateurs. The Saint Venus Theater is one of those mythical gems in New York City that is about as underground as it gets. The drinks are expensive, it is a hassle to even get in, but apparently, once one is in, it is a night to remember.
8. Tootsie’s Cabaret – Miami
If you’re an NFL fan, this may be the place for you. Regardless of football fandom however, Tootsie’s is a massive club with a few stages and tons of women, so it’s guaranteed to be a great time. But more impressive is that Larry Johnson, former running back for the Kansas City Chiefs, has been a part-time DJ at the club for a couple of years now.
Other than that, it has a unique place in NFL dirtbag folklore because years ago, Aaron Hernandez (now-convicted murderer) shot a friend in the face after a fight over the bar tab. Maybe it’s just me, but there is some novelty to the idea of chugging back a brew in the same place Aaron Hernandez did something horrible.
7. Seventh Veil – Los Angeles
I mentioned Tootsie’s in Miami for NFL fans out there, and I’ll throw the name Seventh Veil out there for hard rock and metal fans. This place is considered to be one of the inspirations for a couple of now-notorious stripper songs. They are of course, “Girls, Girls, Girls” by Motley Crue and “Stripper Girl” by Steel Panther. Right around the middle of Motley Crue’s famous anthem they mention “raising hell at the Seventh Veil”. Imagine being able to tell your grand-children that you once wasted hundreds of dollars in a place Motley Crue once sang about; coolest grandpa ever.
6. The School House Gentlemen’s Club – Neoga, Illinois
Neoga, Illinois is a town of about 1,500 people about an hour south of Champaign and a couple of hours west of the Illinois/Missouri border. The building that houses this club is a former school, and the owners, who bought the building back in 2002, left the architecture alone, along with much of the furniture and the stuff on the walls. No kidding, there are desks and bookshelves everywhere and the teachers’ lounge has been turned into a VIP room.
5. Seventh Heaven – Tokyo, Japan
Despite Japanese sexual culture being known for some very weird things (Google anything with the words “octopus” and “Japan” and get ready to have an interesting time), Seventh Heaven is a pretty outstanding place. They pride themselves on hiring staff (dancers, servers, bartenders) from all over the world. The venue is very nicely decorated and owners say that their goal has been to create a product that can be successful not only with locals but also with western travelers.
4. Crazy Horse III – Las Vegas
Not to state the obvious, but Las Vegas is one of the best places to go to find adult entertainment. In terms of all things sin and nudity, it is pretty much the Holy Land. While it can be easy to get lost in the crowd when every second building seems to be a nude bar, Crazy Horse III stands out from the pack.
It has been voted the best strip club in Vegas a few times (most recently 2015) and offers not only some of the most beautiful women in the city, but also an impressive spread of food and drink. They offer not only the usual beer and wings bar food, but also an impressive sushi menu. This is the best place to go in Vegas if you want to hold a bachelor party and if you needed any more icing on that cake, they offer free limo rides to the door (also allowing one’s group to skip the line).
Note that Crazy Horse III (3) is a different club from the infamous Crazy Horse Too. That club was popular for years but closed after it was discovered to be a front for illegal activity. It reopened back in 2013 under new management, but closed just after the summer of 2014.
3. Nymphas Show Bar – Israel
Because there is no justice in the world, this club has closed down. But it has an interesting story nonetheless, and according to those who have seen it, it is perfectly intact and could open again. Nymphas is an underwater strip club just off the coast of Eilat, in the southern part of Israel in the Gulf of Aqaba.
It was originally a restaurant, but was turned into a strip club, but ultimately abandoned. I have to wonder if this place will ever open up again or if someone will try a similar project in the future. While it is/was a good idea, the trip to the bar itself required a lengthy walk along a bridge and an equally large staircase, getting there probably wasn’t the hard part. Leaving was probably unpleasant, especially if half drunk and sporting a partial.
2. Clermont Lounge – Atlanta, Georgia
This is widely considered one of the greatest strip clubs on Earth and has a long list of celebrity clients as proof. Jon Hamm, Jennifer Lawrence and Liam Hemsworth are among the most recent, but Jon Stewart, Bill Murray and Woody Harrelson are also fans of the bar. It’s a dive bar, the drinks are affordable, the women are beautiful and friendly and it has a ton of history. There is a reason so many famous people like going there, it is an amazing place. It may not be the flashiest, or the most outrageous, but put simply, the place is pure magic.
1. Club Cabare’t – Creve Coeur, Illinois
Like quite a few of the establishments on this list, Club Cabare’t is more than just a strip club. They boast a hundred women and a decent selection of beer and spirits, obviously, but a lot more. They are open for breakfast, offer shoe-shining and have women on staff who give neck/shoulder rubs. For women who show up at the club, they can get a manicure and/or pedicure (these are offered to men too, obviously). The club also has a car detailing/wash area, an area designated for cigar purchase/smoking, and a barber/hairstyling area. In short, you can get stuff done, see gorgeous strippers and leave feeling pretty great. This is an impressive place, and while there are a few things that would make it better (shooting range, indoor water park) it is definitely one of those places every man needs to visit once.
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