You’ve been single for a while now and at first, it was liberating. You loved the feeling of being the only one in control of your life, but as time has passed you find yourself wondering: why am I still single?
Being single can be awesome, but most of us get to a point where we feel the desire to share our lives with someone. All of your single friends now have someone, and hanging out with them is starting to make you feel like an uncomfortable third wheel. You may have a lot of friends and maybe your job allows you the opportunity to meet new people, but you haven’t met anyone you are interested in or that has shown any interest in you. By now you’re asking yourself: what’s wrong with me? You’re smart, kind, employed and pretty, so why are you alone? Are you too picky? Do you have trust issues? Has your heart been broken in the past and you are now too afraid to let someone else in? Are you shy, scared or insecure? Maybe it’s time to take a deep breath and do some self-exploring. Here is a look at 12 reasons why you may still be single.
12 You Limit Yourself With Types and Standards
Far too often we set up expectations for what we think the “perfect” person for us should be. Some take those expectations to the extremes by setting standards for things like height and eye color. Don’t be absurd! By now you are old enough to understand that there is no perfect person out there waiting for you to find them.
11 Are You In Love With Yourself Too Much?
10 Maybe You're Just Too Independent
9 You Aren’t Really Putting Yourself Out There
Far too many single people are complaining that they are alone, but aren’t really making any effort to change the situation. There are no fairy godmothers and the Prince is not waiting for you at the ball. If you are sitting at home waiting for someone to just drop into your lap, chances are you are going to die alone.
8 Do You Really Know What You Want?
When you meet someone you are interested in seeking a real relationship with and they tell you right up front that they are only interested in having fun, don’t tell them that is what you are looking for too, if it isn’t true. Dating someone who isn’t interested in the same outcome is setting yourself up for heartbreak.
7 Don't Get Impatient
There are going to be bumps in the road. No relationship is perfect. Far too often people will throw their hands in the air and give up as soon as an issue arises. You have to be prepared to let each experience be a learning experience.
6 Do You Dread Dating?
If you don’t like dating, the person you choose to go out with is going to sense that you don’t want to be there and that is a date killer. You are going to appear uncomfortable and anxious. When both people are comfortable with the situation the chances of making a connection are greater. You need to figure out what it is about dating that makes you ill-at-ease and look for ways to troubleshoot the issue or issues.
5 You Don’t Ask The Right Questions
4 You Have A Routine
Do you have your life all planned out? Is your day a series of pre-planned events? Do you schedule your second cup of coffee and snack? Routines can help make life feel simpler, but they can also be extremely limiting. When you have made your life just one big routine, you have then stopped stepping out of your comfort zone. If you truly want to meet someone you need to be ready to step out of your bubble.
3 Still Holding On To That Last Breakup?
Breakups are hard. Breaking up with some can leave deep scars and painful memories. It’s easy to find yourself in the position where you are holding on tightly to bitterness. Instead of dealing with your pain, you wallow in it. If you want to move on to a new relationship, then you have to find a way to let go of your pain and bitterness from your last relationship.
2 The People You Want Don't Want You
This situation is something that happens to all of us at some point in our lives, but if it is a repeated situation in your life, you need to re-evaluate who you find attractive. You also need to understand that if someone is not attracted to or interested in you, there is nothing that you can do to change that. Stop sitting around thinking they will come around. Deal with the fact that they just aren’t into you.
1 You Won’t Ask For Help
Being single and wanting to be in a relationship can be frustrating. It can also cause you to feel badly about yourself. It's hard to smile and be comfortable around your happily married friends, especially if those happily married friends insist on offering you unwanted advice.
Though friends may be giving you the wrong advice, they very well could know the answers to the problems you do have. Sit your friend down and tell them what you need help with. Explain to them where your problem lies. Chances are they have been in the same situation and can offer you information about the way they dealt with the problem. Hear them out and remember sometimes life's answers come from the most unexpected places.
Sources: psychologytoday.com, telegraph.co.uk
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