Seinfeld was a hit television sitcom in the 1990s. The characters were notoriously known for being jerks. Episode 19 of season 4, “The Implant,” revolves around the main character, Jerry, dating a woman who has unusually large breasts. As he attempts to find out if they are real or not, he and his friend Elaine make a few blunders, which result in his girlfriend ultimately breaking up with him and uttering the episode’s catchphrase: “by the way, they’re real and they’re spectacular!”
Jerry is certainly not the only man to have been caught in such an awkward situation. As medical technology advances, surgeons are becoming better and better at making breast implants look “natural.” Some women may have implants and yet show no signs that the surgery took place. Other times, however, it is possible to tell, usually if the surgery recently took place.
Getting your body cut open always takes time to heal, and therefore, there is a time window that permits the easier identification of whether or not a woman had surgery done. The more time that passes, however, the more difficult it is to find signs showing that a woman has breast implants.
To avoid any awkward situations like Jerry experienced, here are 10 ways to spot breast implants. Keep your eyes peeled, but remember: it’s rude to blatantly stare, so be discreet and try to keep the drooling at a minimum.
The human body is never perfect. Though bodies are mainly reflectively symmetrical, they’re never 100 percent fully symmetrical. Most natural breasts do not look exactly the same even though they belong to the same woman.
Real breasts will typically have slight varying differences. They can vary in size, shape, angle etc. As breast implants are man made, they are usually the exact same size. As a result, breast implants usually make breasts look oddly identical.
9. Fakes are too high up
Gravity: it’s not only an academy award winning film; it’s also a force. It affects everything on Earth including women’s breasts. A natural woman’s breast will somewhat sag, and sometimes sag a lot depending on the woman, her age and the size of her breast. However, slight sagging is common for all women- there is a reason why bras were invented!
Breast implants, on the other hand, are placed into the breast too high so that they will eventually sag into the proper place in the breast. This process normally takes four to six months for all of the implant to fall into its permanent place.
As previously discussed, gravity affects women’s breasts and causes them to sag slightly; this also affects the shape of the breast. Real breasts naturally have somewhat of a pear shape: more of the mass accumulating at the bottom of the breast and being somewhat thinner on the top part.
Breast implants give breasts an unnatural, perfectly spherical like quality. If the breasts look like two balloons glued onto the woman’s body, they are probably not real.
If a woman decided to get her breast implant surgery done by a cheaper surgeon, or perhaps a less experienced surgeon, she may have some permanent scarring from the process that will show where the surgeons made the incisions.
If she instead opted for a better surgeon, the scars will only be temporary, but will still show regardless. Whatever the case, seeing scarred tissue along the breasts should give you some warning bells signaling that perhaps what you are looking at is not real.
Though it may be difficult to tell because bras somewhat squeeze breasts together, an average woman with real breasts will have a distance of approximately two to three inches between her breasts.
In a lot of cases, breast implants will force the breasts to be closer together, even without the bra. A lot of the time it is simply because of the sheer size of the implants chosen. Naturally, a larger implant will take up more space, therefore making the breast take up more space on the chest, thus reducing the amount of distance between the two breasts.
Imagine you’re at a strip club. Your buddy pays for you to take the woman upstairs. She invites you to touch her chest. To your surprise, instead of her breasts feeling warm and squishy, they are quite hard; this is one sure fire sign that they are fake.
Whereas real breasts are mostly made up of fat and are therefore soft and malleable, breast implants – especially if they are cheap – feel harder to the touch than natural breasts. Using your hands is a fun way to really tell if a woman’s breasts are real or not.
4. Fall Line
When a woman lies down, gravity tugs on her breasts in a different way then when she was standing or sitting. Many women feel that when lying down, their breasts look as if they have shrunk. This is because natural breasts are shy: as a woman lies down, they will sort of sink into her armpits to hide.
Breast implants, however, will remain as they were when the woman was standing: looking like perfect spheres atop of the chest, instead of cowering away into the armpits. So if they look bolted on while she lays on her back, chances are they’re not real.
3. Side View
Many of the key clues to spot fake breasts lie in the shape of the breast. As previously discussed, natural breasts are more pear shaped, with more of their mass accumulating at the bottom of the breast because of gravity.
This is particularly easy to see from the side: natural breasts look fuller at their base. Fake breasts, on the other hand, can easily be seen as having as much volume on the top half as on the bottom half. Have you noticed a pattern? Your main clue is if they look like spheres, they’re probably fake.
Have you ever seen ads or magazines where a woman’s breasts looks like two balloons, having a clearly visible circular border along the top? 360-degree borders can indicate two things: breast implants or Photoshop.
Natural breasts don’t look like that – unless the woman in wearing an insanely high push-up bra. Real breasts are thinner on the top, and therefore don’t have the clearly defined border above. If you can easily trace a perfect circle around the breast, the odds are not in your favor: they’re very likely to be fake.
1. Weight Ratio
The human body is ingenious: fat cells are specifically designed to be efficient and not waste any of the body’s energy. They are located all over the body, and expand as fat is stored (as opposed to multiplying). If an area contains more fat cells, the body will thus store more fat there.
As breasts are mainly fat, one of the first places women gain weight is in their breasts. Therefore, in the vast majority of cases, larger women have larger breasts and skinnier women have smaller breasts. Though it is possible for skinnier women to have larger breasts and large women to have smaller breasts, statistically, it is very unlikely. The woman’s body weight ratio is thus a big clue as to whether her breasts are real or fake.
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