I guess we’re back to talking about romance. You have a date coming up? Let me guess, you want to get her in bed, right? Well, pay attention bromigo. I’m not a ladies man, more over, I have no degree that could give the slightest hint that I’m even qualified to talk to women. Go ahead, check the majors that were available to Georgia Southern University class of 2016. See? There’s no major that would contain a class called Intro to Dating or Women 101. American universities don’t actually prepare you for the important things one may encounter in the real world. Modern men are on their own, nowadays. What I do have is an accidental set of skills that were shaped, not by merit, but by survival. Girls are complicated predators that can, and will, cataclysmically alter lives. Needless to say, if you decide you want to be brave and hunt one, I have some advice for you. During your stay in the terrifying romantic wilderness, make sure you master these ten skills and you may have a shot at bringing her home. I have labeled this list from ten to one where ten is the least important and one is absolutely necessary. However, don’t think you should rule out a skill just because it wasn’t deemed important enough compared to the others.
10. Be Punctual
Wow, congrats, she said yes to going on a date with you. It’s no longer minor league, buddy. You’re officially in the majors so get ready to bat. Here’s the difference between a date and every moment before: It’s just you and her… so consider this an interview. The most important elementary step of the interview process is to be on time, especially if you are picking her up. No, she won’t be ready for you when you get there. Almost every time you pick a girl up, you’ll go up to the door and be greeted by a female gate keeper who’ll say something like, “she’s almost ready.” In the end, being on time is the least you can do. Being early is the best you can do. Punctuality goes a long way with girls. It shows that you are dependable and hints at your ability to swallow responsibility.
9. Be Audacious
Being reckless has such a bad connotation, which is stupid. You need to be able to take risks and bleed spontaneity. This isn’t some push to be a “bad boy.” It’s just aiming to be a man. If you’re not being rude, then your over-bearing behavior will be considered charming. That being said… annoy the girl a little. Tease her, hell, pick on her. Make it known that you are, in fact, sexually attracted to her. Push buttons and make sure that if she goes home alone you’re going to be the only thing she’s going to be talking about. That way if it doesn’t happen today… she’ll be thinking about you till the next time. No publicity is bad publicity. The best TV characters aren’t the one’s that are soft-spoken on the sidelines. You don’t want to be an extra in her movie, be the lead. Audacity also includes your body language. Be confident! Show you want her with eye-contact, PDA fearlessly if she’s cool with it, and things of that nature.
8. Show Ambition
Who in their right mind wants to go home with someone that is complacent? Don’t give me that small-town, “well maybe I’m happy where I am,” rant that I’ve had to endure over and over again. There is a total difference between being content and being complacent. If you’re content, then you are successful and have already won. If you’re complacent, then you are settling and no girl wants a guy who doesn’t want to climb the ladder of his dreams. Make sure she knows that you have goals and nothing is going to stop you. She’ll see you as a man on a mission and that’s pretty hot in the grand scheme of things. Trust me, a girl watching a guy fight for accomplishments gains a world of respect. You want respect from her and if you can nail that on the first date, it’ll really stem into something later… maybe even later than night.
7. Be Honest About Your Views And Your Thoughts
I’ve been talking a lot about “being a man.” Let’s get into something different. You need to prove to her that you are a person. Are you aware of how many men this chick has already met? What sticks you out from just being a distant voice? Proving that you are a person is essentially saying, “I am a human being and I am unique for these reasons.” It’s all about making a permanent mark on her feelings toward you. Perspective is your position and what angle you see this world from. Honesty means everything on this topic. Be straight up with your opinions and have a spirited conversation about them. On a date, especially the first date, you want her to walk away understanding your stance on topics. Don’t be afraid to have a different outlook on things. Girls go crazy over guys that are passionate about their beliefs, but won’t necessarily sleep with you over them. Consider perspective a small part of the bigger picture when it comes to getting her in the mood.
6. Don’t Show Off… Be Modest
This is the twenty-first century. Girls don’t want to sleep with a guy who is a showoff. Modesty really works well if you actually do have some coin… but subtle with your wealth. Pick her up in the fancy car, take her to someplace classy, buy her friends drinks, but in the event that anyone verbally commends you… be modest. You’ll be misconstrued as a gentlemen who doesn’t even realize he’s spoiling her. This is one of the hottest virtues to girls and she’ll think you’re some Christian Grey character from fifty shades… maybe she’ll even act out a chapter or two after hours.
5. Be “A Little” Jealous
Don’t confuse jealousy with being psychotic. I’m talking about being protective in a professional manner. All females want a guy who is willing to tell a stranger, “hey buddy back off, she’s with me.” Don’t be that guy who mid-blackout decides to get all aggro over her other guy friends for literally no reason. Besides, it’s not like she has a giant relationship status over her head. You’ll not only go home alone, but her friends will hate you too. Coming across like you have a temper issue is the polar opposite of what jealousy has to offer. Be what I call the “friendly bodyguard”, and she’ll be all over you, I promise.
4. Be Charismatic
It doesn’t matter if you’re a boyfriend, fun buddy, or on a first date… you need to be the life of the party. Wear a friendly atmosphere at all times. All girls want to sleep with the guy that pushes good vibes to everyone around him and shows a sense of blissful social leadership. I guess you can say that being popular works out wonderfully for the appetite of women. Personally, I know that girls are comfortable sleeping with a guy because he has a vast social life to offer. That’s a confusing and almost annoying concept to explain, but let me lay it out. If we’re specifically talking about sex, then who’d want to sleep with someone who is a nobody in their social circle? Girls want a metaphorical trophy in almost the same way you want to brag to your friends that you got with that “smoking” blonde you took out last Saturday. Even if we’re talking about dating… who’d get turned on by the guy who can’t hold a charismatic conversation that’s actually entertaining to the crowd? I digress, but if you want to sleep with a girl, then you need to be the guy that everyone wants to hang out with… specifically her friends. If her friends think you’re fun, she’ll show you a fun time too… if you know what I mean.
3. Show Your Intelligence
I can’t stress enough how important it is not to be a dial tone. Most of us guys are not intelligent nor do we consider ourselves such. So how do you come across like you know what you’re talking about without being dreadfully boring? Literally just talk about what you know and care about. Ladies melt over a guy who can show some sort of energetic IQ over a topic. You’d actually be surprised how interested girls can get over unrelatable topics. I don’t care if you’re a napkins distributor for Who Cares, Inc… talk about your honest line of work. It’ll show your brain functioning and watch how she lights up over that. A lot of girls are only interested in me because they’ve read (or just heard of) my book. Which only a select few have access to since it’s not coming out till next year so I know who and why they’re interested. They think I’m an intelligent, smart, and passionate person which is apparently a turn on. If it worked for me it’ll work for you, too. (Being intelligent, not being a writer. Don’t ever become a writer, trust me.)
2. Be Clever
Conversations are a verbal tennis match. Audacity can only do so much, bro. You need to switch up the game a little. You can actually turn a girl on by being able to playfully slip flirting into a properly constructed conversation. It’s not just answering every question with a question, but keeping it all entertaining. That’s the best use of being clever: Creating a sensual torpedo undetectable by conventional radar so that it’s fun. Another big reason for using cleverness is because you want her to feel comfortable. Unless there is copious amounts of alcohol involved, you can’t put her on the spot with your affection. Throw in astronomically calculated compliments, sarcasm and opinions. If she runs with it then you are in. Let the metaphorical submarine surface because you just successfully used cleverness to sneak the dialogue into flirtation. To this date, the most quick-witted bar side conversation I’ve ever had was maybe a year ago. I couldn’t tell if this girl was into me or not, so I kept it cool for as long as possible. She goes, “What are you studying?” I say, “Good question, I’ll let you know.” The girl turns to me and laughs, “So you’re one of those guys.” “Yeah, I am. Are you one of those girls?” We continue this back and forth and I launch my disguised pick-up line, “So where do you want to grab breakfast, tomorrow?” She visibly understands what I just basically asked and responds, “IHOP.”
1. Use Humor
You don’t have to be a professional comedian to be humorous. Humor is a lost art and a lot of people consider humor to be some kind of resume comedic ability. In reality, having a good sense of humor is more an outlook over anything else. Knock-knock jokes won’t get you in bed with anyone, but having the capability to be laid back and laugh at life will make any girl want you. Finding humor in life so that you are seemingly care-free is the most attractive thing to females. Uptight personalities will never bring a girl home, but thinking it’s hilarious that she accidentally left her ID at home for the hundredth time or that your tire blew out instead of letting it ruin your night will lead her to admire you. In the words of a close friend of mine, “It’s sexy when a guy can’t be knocked out of his smile.” I will always keep my stance that humor is the number one required trait in turning a girl on, but you definitely need the other nine to get the home-run.
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