It’s a shame. You and your friends are out and see a chick with a smokin’ hot body, but as she gets closer you’re disappointed to see she has a face that would stop a clock. There’s a name for this unfortunate condition: Butterface. (She has a nice body, but her face…whoa!)
The late, great comedian Rodney Dangerfield called these types of women two-baggers - a wife or girlfriend who’s so ugly that you need to carry an extra bag to put over your own head in case the one she’s wearing breaks.
Mean and a little cruel? I suppose. But men have been evaluating women this way since the Stone Age. Hell, when women get together to hang out they’re doing exactly the same thing with every guy who comes walking by. It’s just human nature.
Studies conducted by sociologists and psychologists confirm what we already know to be true- a woman’s looks are the first thing we notice, because obviously the first impression is based on what we see. Later, as we get to know a woman better we become aware of the other qualities that can offset her unfortunate appearance. We come to appreciate her “inner beauty,” manifested in personality, brains, talent, a sense of humor or some other redeeming factors.
Apparently that’s the case for plenty of stars and celebrities who are married to or going out with a woman cursed with a Butterface. Some of these ladies don’t have much of a bod to brag about either. Here are 10 examples.
McDermott had a middling career as an actor and became famous, or I guess notorious is a better way of putting it, for marrying Tori Spelling in 2006. Almost immediately he started cheating on her with every willing bimbo he could cozy up to.
Tori Spelling’s dad Aaron was one of the most prolific and richest TV producers in LA, and that no doubt was a factor in Tori gaining a featured role on Beverly Hills 90210 and its recent reboot. While Tori was busy on the set during the day, Dean was out carousing and his philandering ways were soon discovered.
9 Hugh Jackman - Deborah-Lee Furness
While you may feel an overwhelming urge to take a shower after being reminded of the details of the McDermott-Spelling relationship, here’s an apparent example of true love.
Australian hunk Hugh Jackman has looks and talent on loan from God, with a long and successful career on screen and stage. He’s starred on Broadway, played the iconic superhero Wolverine in the X-Men franchise, has shown range as an actor in critically acclaimed dramas and musicals, and is versatile enough to host and perform at the Academy Awards.
8 Pierce Brosnan - Keely Shaye Smith
When his wife Cassandra died of ovarian cancer in 1991, Pierce Brosnan said he would never marry again. But 10 years later, the former James Bond actor tied the knot with British journalist Keely Shaye Smith.
Hard to believe, but Keely is 11 years younger than Pierce. They’ve raised two children and are apparently still madly in love, judging from how they’re constantly kissing and groping each other in public.
7 Aaron Johnson - Sam Taylor-Wood
Talk about robbing the cradle. Sam Taylor-Wood was 43 when 19-year-old Aaron Johnson got her pregnant. They met when Taylor-Wood was directing Johnson in a movie called Nowhere Boy, and one thing led to another. The 20-something actor and middle-aged movie director are now married and raising two daughters.
Johnson has appeared in Kick Ass and its sequel and also big budget flicks such as Captain America: Winter Soldier, The Avengers: Age of Ultron and Godzilla.
6 Ricky Saiz - Chloe Sevigny
Saiz made a name for himself directing Beyonce’s “Yonce” music video in 2013 that featured super hot chicks in skimpy outfits and plenty of bondage imagery. He and Sevigny were friends for a long time, and that must mean he had plenty of time to get used to the hound-like face of the actress, author and Jennifer Lawrence critic.
If you recall, Sevigny complained after last year’s Academy Awards that J-Law was “crass” and “annoying” because of her bubbly personality and tendency to speak her mind. Gee, maybe Chloe is just a teensy bit jealous about Lawrence’s success and ravishing good looks as well.
5 Matthew Broderick - Sarah Jessica Parker
OK, this one may have to be considered a tie, since Broderick isn’t exactly a candidate for People’s Sexiest Man Alive with his middle age paunch and wardrobe grabbed of the rack at Goodwill. Still, Sarah Jessica Parker is the classic Butterface. The actress best known for her role in Sex in the City has a smokin’ hot body but is cursed with a face that only a jockey could love.
4 Archie Drury - Karolina Kurkova
I’ll admit it. I wouldn’t kick Karolina Kurkova out of bed for eating crackers, seeing as how she’s a Victoria’s Secret lingerie angel and one of the most highly acclaimed and well-compensated supermodels of the past 10 years.
But let’s be honest for a minute. With short hair, the Czech chick looks alarmingly like a post-adolescent Macaulay Culkin. And those giant teeth could eat an apple through a picket fence. Hey, it’s not just me. When Kurkova appeared at an event in South America recently, the snarky Brazilian press made rude comments about her love handles, cellulite and “larger than expected” physique.
3 Jesse Williams - Aryn Drake-Lee
Williams modeled clothes for top-name brands such as Kenneth Cole and Tommy Hilfiger before landing his longtime role as a hunky doctor on Grey’s Anatomy. But before any of that happened, Williams was a school teacher in New York, and that’s where he met Aryn Drake-Lee.
It’s unusual seeing a plain, somewhat frumpy chick standing arm in arm with such a talented dreamboat actor, but Aryn and Jesse prefer to avoid the Hollywood glitz scene and say they’re trying to live as normal a life as possible.
2 Clive Owen - Sarah-Jane Fenton
His performance in Closer earned Clive Owen a Golden Globe for Best Supporting Actor and an Oscar nomination in 2004, but that was the high water mark of his career. A year later he married plain-Jane Sarah-Jane Fenton, an actress who had a few non-noteworthy movie roles.
Owen was considered the frontrunner to be the next James Bond before the role went to Daniel Craig, but then the couple decided to forego their acting careers in favor of raising a family and living a quiet, normal life. Fenton went back to school and received her Doctorate in Mental Health studies at the University of Birmingham near their home in the UK.
1 Meek Mill - Nicki Minaj
Meek Mill is another guy who doesn’t seem like much of a prize, but his Butterface girlfriend Nicki Minaj is standing firmly by her man. The rapper was busted for a parole violation following weapons and drug charges that could land him back in the slammer.
Minaj is five years older than Mill, and apparently believes that age brings wisdom. She recently testified on her boyfriend’s behalf at his parole hearing, and told the judge that she will help Mill straighten out his life and teach him how to be an adult.
Minaj told the judge she couldn’t bear the thought of sleeping alone if Meek was sent to jail. For Meek Mill’s sake, let’s hope that when they’re in the sack together Nicki sleeps on her stomach, face down.
Sources: imdb.com, New York Post, London Daily Mail
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