Crack open the Guinness if you need to get your head around these feats! Irish stout may be needed in large volume to be ‘stout’ enough within to contemplate some of the lengths some individuals go to in order to get their names etched into the annals of the ages!
People have always had a deeply entrenched (and often times somewhat weird and possibly moronic) sense of going above and beyond the mundane of our meat. We do have a lot to thank for this intrepid innate philosophy of ours – it is what helped deliver humanity from its lowly origins as a hunter gatherer and journey towards a high tech, space faring civilization that never ceases to wonder and provide for us (at least here in the Western hemisphere). However, with adventurous endeavour, there is always an opposing side to a coin.
Arthur Guinness patented his famous alcoholic brew in Dublin way back in 1759 and has quite an impressive record apropos alcohol – a 9,000-year lease on his beverage! Maybe this is what prompted the association with world records; there have been weirder links to things in this world, something that will be discovered as this list progresses…
20. Mattress Dominoes
Kicking off proceedings, or maybe toppling them over in domino fashion, is a newly claimed world record at the time of writing. Appliance store Aaron’s decided to put themselves on the map – other than Google Maps – by undertaking a mighty mattress tumbling event. A unique way to break the monotony of the working day that took 34 rows of mattresses, 7,000 square feet, over 1,000 members of staff and 13 minutes, 38 seconds, to break the world record for mattress dominos! Each participant can lay on their own mattress after this, knowing their name belongs to the ages!
19. Elderly Acrobatics
“Old age is no place for sissies!” claimed the legendary actress Bette Davis. It’s true, no one likes the daunting spectre of getting older that inches closer every day, the black cowl of the grim reaper becoming larger and darker with every passing year! Although it is often the case that staying active mentally and physically is a way to stave off the scythe of death, cutting one down in their prime (and a little smattering of good genes). But the world’s oldest gymnast goes beyond even the most optimistic of active people in their twilight years! At 90, German gymnast Johanna Quaas often competes still in amateur competitions in her home nation and even abroad. She puts some people a quarter of her age to shame!
18. The Guinness Chainsaw Massacre
Many people are so desperate to be unique and do unorthodox things that two questions often spring to many people’s minds when there are certain tasks undertaken: how and why? This record definitely fits the bill of those two inquiring forms of shock. British performance artist, Johnny Strange, currently holds the record for… wait for it… holding apples in his mouth whilst cutting them in half… with a chainsaw! How he discovered this knack for slicing the fruit in such a chaotic manner, who knows? What is known is that he managed to butcher eight apples in one minute and came out the other side with his life intact!
17. “Nailing” The World Record!
If you ever find yourself wandering the streets of New York, as a resident or tourist and are leisurely taking in the sights, sounds and smells of this thriving metropolis – and one of the world’s greatest. What response would you have if you saw a woman dressed to the nines, seemingly carrying a handful of snakes? Before recoiling in horror, grow even more grossed out by the fact that this woman in fact is the World Record holder for having the longest fingernails. Chris “The Duchess” Walton has been cultivating her unique look (basically not bothering to trim her nails) for 18 years and they now hang from her hands and measure over 10 feet long. The Duchess is an apt moniker, because she must be so royal that someone must be needed to help her wipe her ass!
16. Insane Bolt
The 100m dash is often regarded as the apex of Olympic sports. A glorious form of physical prowess where highly tuned athletes run at speeds that can equal a moving car driving at slower paces. It displays the pinnacle of human’s ability to move both with swiftness and strength, whilst moving on two legs that is unique to our species of ape. Yet some humans want to ‘ape’ their animal counterparts in this sport and this is exactly what Japanese Katsumi Tamakoshi does. He runs the prestigious 100m sprint scampering along the track like a chimp, in an earth shattering 15.86 seconds. Usain Bolt, be ashamed that you run so fast on your precious two legs!
15. Eye Watering Onions!
Even the most unaccomplished chef is well aware of the streaming eyeballs that are induced when chopping an onion… if they’re going down, they’re sure as Hell going to wreak some carnage in a blaze of bleary-eyed glory! The pungent root vegetable comes in all shapes, varying sizes and colors, yet the size aspect is often taken to unimaginable levels by a few intrepid gardeners (of questionable sanity perhaps). At the Harrogate Autumn Flower Show in Yorkshire, England, in 2011, Pete Glazebrook unveiled his onion and so far the biggest bulb of its kind grown, topping the scales at 17Ib, 15.5oz, roughly the size of two babies! Imagine hoisting that ‘baby’ onto a kitchen counter and chopping it in some salad? Would there be any moisture left in the cook’s eyes at all?!
14. Tigger the Tycoon
If there is one thing people love more than their pets, it’s certainly their money. Humans horde cash worse than the planet’s entire squirrel population stash nuts, yet riches cannot buy eternal life and a vast accumulation of wealth has to be passed on. As people often love pets more than their fellow homo sapiens, what a convenient answer that presents itself? Why not make the cat the main beneficiary? In 1988, this windfall arrived in the milk bowl of the largely oblivious Blackie. This rich moggy currently holds the record for being the wealthiest cat, after being left $12.5 million dollars… a better use would have been to shred the dollar bills into cat litter!
13. Ball Playing Beagle
Dogs are always partial to a round of fetch, and catch of course. Yet some dogs take a highly vested interest in intercepting balls that it could be a profession and this is definitely the case where Purin, a nine-year-old female Beagle is concerned. The passionate pooch can manage to catch 14 balls in one minute, deflecting them from their route towards the otherwise open goal. The sport of soccer is relatively popular in Purin’s home nation of Japan, and with a form like saving 14 penalties in one minute, she could easily put many professional goalkeepers to shame!
12. Crazy Contortionist
Body bending is as weird as it is cool and can take a lot of stretching and practice to be anywhere as near as limber as sticking a solidly earthbound limb such as the leg behind the head! But this is exactly Adonis Kosmadakis’ bag. The Greek performer manages to upstage the Can-Can dancers of the Moulin Rouge in Paris by high kicking and earning the world record for placing his leg over his head 30 times in 30 seconds.
11. Spoon Full Of Records
Where have all the kitchen utensils gone? Maybe a certain Georgian World Record holder knows the answer? Most spoons are made of metal and are magnetic, therefore someone may get the idea to stick them to their body, which is what went through the mind of Etibar Elchiyev – a resident of Georgia’s capital, Tbilisi. In fact, so devoted is he to this random notion of cutlery storage that he has managed to attach 50 to his “person” and gain a World Record for it in 2011.
10. High Rise Hair
Hair is a precious commodity – it always grows, and if it’s cut correctly, it can add to a person’s confidence and looks. If it’s cut poorly, it can be a worse wreck than the Titanic! As much as stylists covet its growth and the bald lament its loss, there are plenty of world records focused around the top of people’s heads. Japanese guy Kazuhiro Watanabe holds a follicular based record, one that makes it hard for him walk through doors, no doubt… the world’s tallest Mohican. Measuring 44.68 inches from root to tip, it’s definitely not the Last of the Mohicans, nor is it certainly the Least of the Mohicans!
9. My Milkshake Brings All the Boys To My… Nose?
Who doesn’t like a good shake? It’s a lovely sweet and fruity drink that is a delicious addition to any fast food meal or anyone’s day. Some people love it so much that they could imbibe the milky substance until it begins to stream out of their nose! For one individual, this was literally the case and to top it all off, he was given a world record for that odd little feat! Gary Bashaw Jr. shot 1.82 ounces of milkshake through his nose, on a Guinness TV show no less, in 1999, in LA. Who fancies a booger blend?
8. Toothbrush Twirl
Ball skills! Okay, that refers to sports balls, not the… other, balls. These skills are a convenient and wowing ancillary benefit that comes as a side effect of years of playing with one’s ball… ahem. When it comes to basketball, fans are accustomed to being in awe at witnessing their favorite stars display mind boggling skills, a keen favorite is usually the spinning of a ball on the tip of one finger. However, Thaneshwar Guragai takes this ability to a new level, managing to keep a basketball aloft for 22.41 seconds… on a toothbrush held upright in his mouth! When that comes to playing with some certain bodily balls that’s not a time to be proud of, but it certainly is in this case!
7. Trick Or Treat
Halloween is a very popular holiday for people of all ages. It is an excuse for kids to eat more than their body weight in candy and an excuse for adults to push bizarre and edgy clothes, all with the convenient excuse of it being a Halloween costume! An integral part of the annual celebration is carving pumpkins into Jack O’ Lanterns, a homage to an ancient tradition to ward off bad spirits. No matter how fun, skilled or whimsical the faces of a Jack O’ Lantern is, the arduous task of disemboweling the root vegetable and the numerous slimy seeds within are messy and time consuming. Although not if you’re American Stephen Clarke, who carved through a ton of pumpkins with a speed and enthusiasm that even Michael Myers would envy, taking only three hours, 33 minutes and 46 seconds.
6. Top Heavy Transport
Cars are for driving, right? Well, 54 year old John Evans from Derbyshire in England, begs to differ with that outdated and old-fashioned worldview! He seemingly holds the opinion that cars deserve to be carried around too, on one’s head no less! Lifting cars is something that the average strongman may be acquainted with, despite the hernia inducing effort that it is. So how did Mr. Evans take the leap from using his arms, legs and back to using his head? The Englishman currently holds the record for holding a car on his head, a modified 352Ib Mini (a British iconic automobile, of course) That must give him one hell of a neck ache!
5. Bulging Biceps
More on strength and lifting now, since body building is a huge deal for many young guys. Not only is a cut physique appealing to the opposite sex (or even the same sex), additionally, it is great way to stay in shape and build strength in your limbs and in your core. Yet how big can expanding muscles get and where does the line lie between the ripped and the frankly, bizarre? Mostafa Ismail from Egypt (now residing in the USA) teeters along that fine line, by holding the world record for the biggest biceps on the planet. His massive muscles measure 25.5 inches when flexed on the right arm and 24.5 inches non-flexed and 25 inches on the left arm when flexed and 24 inches non-flexed.
4. Din Drums
Imagine living next door to a garage where a band practices incessantly, morning, noon and night? The screeching guitars, a douchebag who thinks they can sing and constant repetitive banging of drums. Every band needs to get good and practice makes perfect, a great drummer is the foundation of any group. Although what if the drums were so huge that they took up the stage, so that there was no room for anyone else? Dr. Mark Temperato of Lakeville New York would be guilty of hogging a stage in that way. How does the rest of his band, Jesus and the Soul Solution fit? His drum kit consists of 340 pieces, which of course, is a world record.
3. Pieces Of Soda
Parrot fashion is a term that implies a person or another creature mimicking the actions of another completely, making a nod to the fact that parrots can echo the words of their owners perfectly. So why not extend this quality to other actions that human beings perform in their every day lives? Zac, a Macaw, has adopted this philosophy whole-heartedly and can open cans of soda. In fact, he has grown so accomplished at this task that he holds the world record for it. Zac, from San Jose in California, is able to open 35 cans of soda in the space of a minute. Even his owner would probably be hard-pressed to do that!
2. Piercing Frenzy
Some things can be taken to ludicrous proportions and mind-twisting levels of modification. Body modification is popular than ever, and people are more intent on covering themselves in tattoos and body piercings, no more so than Brazilian Elaine Davidson. The former restaurant owner and now world record holder, has more than 4,000 piercings, mostly in her face and also has a penchant for tattoos and hair feathers. Good thing she doesn’t own a restaurant any more, who would have an appetite after seeing that face?
1. Teeth Topping Tables
Continuing with the restaurant theme, some waiters definitely have a novel way of moving and clearing tables. But this method pictured, is certainly in a league all its own. Georges Christen from Luxembourg can manage to run over 38 feet with a table with a woman perched on top of it. The plot twist? Georges is carrying the table with his teeth to attain that world record, a man who no doubt has jaws and a mouth of steel. Tables of Madrid watch out! If Georges is ever hungry, he may just bite down and carry off the table with the food on it!
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