Quick Links
Morgan Freeman is a titan of the entertainment industry. His voice is instantly recognizable to anyone, regardless of age, and his movies have grossed billions. He could be considered one of the greatest humans who’ve ever lived, among other monoliths like Bob Ross, Fried Rogers and Steve Irwin. We’d kill to have Morgan Freeman narrate our lives, turning our trite, meaningless existence into an Oscar-worthy epic. Everything he talks about turns to gold, and every eardrum lucky enough to hear his smooth, tummy-tickling voice instantly turns to butter. To commemorate such a man, we’ve compiled the best memes that were made in his honor.
Got Freeman?
Better to start this list with a cursed image, just to get it out of the way before we move on to more wholesome entries. Still, while only a madman would poke holes into the utters of a cartoon cow to create a milk shower, Morgan Freeman is here to sooth our frayed nerves. Only he can turn a cursed image into a blessed one. Pair his face next to any 3 AM pic, and it instantly becomes a work of art. Fear is but an illusion when Morgan Freeman is in the room, watching over all like the world’s greatest dreamcatcher.
We’re going to need some of that milk
The Carolina Reaper is the world’s hottest pepper, up there with the Habanero and the Ghost Chili. It’s become the subject of countless internet challenges, where people risk their life and their taste buds, all in the name of a few up votes. Luckily for Morgan, he knows the power of such a plant, and understands that anyone who desires something hotter is either insane, a liar, or the Devil himself. It’s a good thing Morgan Freeman played God, because he at least now has the power needed to put down such a demonic menace, preferably with mango salsa and a yogurt smoothie on the side.
There can be only one
No one can ever be Morgan Freeman’s stunt double. That’s because there’s not a single human alive that can match his level of perfection. Freeman would still do his own stunts even if that windowsill was two stories up, above 5th Avenue in New York City, at the height of evening rush hour, during a thunderstorm. No green screens, no soundstages, and no inflatable matts to catch him when he leaps. Because Morgan Freeman always lands on his feet, like a cat with the world’s smoothest meow.
Rains of Castamere anyone?
Who knows why movies and TV episodes with dark twists end in complete silence. Perhaps it’s to allow viewers to let the gravity of what they’ve just seen dawn on them, or it’s because no one can hear the music over the sound of uncontrollable sobbing. Or maybe it’s just to allow Morgan Freeman time to comfort viewers in their time of stress/grief/range. Every movie should end with Morgan Freeman delivering his final thoughts, if only to allow viewers to attain a sense of mindful perspective. How better would the Red Wedding be if Morgan Freeman delivered a speech over the ending credits, assuring viewers that it is, after all, just a TV show, and the actors haven’t actually been butchered like cattle. Would there have been as many tearful reaction clips on YouTube had that been in there? We don’t think so.
I have the power!
After playing God and Nelson Mandela, what’s the point of playing He-Man? Yet again, how cool would it be if Freeman decided to dawn the iconic garb of one of the most iconic ‘80s cartoon characters? We can already see the potential memes that’ll spring fourth from the internet like a busted pipe. If anything, it’ll give the people who normally object to colorblind casting a run for their money. So what if he’s a different race than He-Man? You still have one of the greatest actors of all-time playing freaking He Man for crying out loud. That alone would be enough to justify deviations from the source material.
Hell hath no mercy like, well, you know
Mr. Freeman’s handle on common sense is unparalleled. If he tells you to not cross the street, don’t do it, because there’s probably an out-of-control truck about to turn the corner and plow through the crosswalk. In this situation, the reason is clear. No one should ever stand in the way of someone who feels like Freddie Kruger is ripping their organs to shreds. In other words, always trust someone with sound intuitions. It could save your life.
So, are you a Russet or a Laura?
Okay, we’d admit that this meme is a bit condescending, but it still has a point. Why waste your time looking up dumb crap when Morgan Freeman can tell your potato type? Leave Google for important things, like how to change a lightbulb, and let Freeman be your starchy sorting hat. He already knows what you are, just by looking in your eyes. In fact, now that you’ve locked eyes with the image of the Free Man above, he’s already calculating your results, and you’ll have your answer soon. Though we can already tell that you’re definitely a Bintji.
Choose your fighter
Morgan Freeman has played every role imaginable. He’s played two presidents, a Middle-Eastern warrior, a detective and, of course, God Himself. There is nothing Freeman can’t play. A killer in a slasher movie? Consider it done. James Bond? Too easy. Godzilla? Pffft, he was born for that role. He was born to play any role, and that’s not hyperbole ether. Give him a role, and he’ll make it rain Oscar statues.
Just give up, you know who’s going to win
God and Mandela should be enough to best any opponent, but Beech from Oblivion? And his disembodied voice? Just hand him the trophy already. Freeman’s killer roster of characters is the dictionary definition of ‘untouchable.’ Al Capone ain’t got nothing on him. If he stared in The Untouchables, he’d end up playing every role, because that’s how freeman rolls. When the world ends and society devolves into warring tribes, you better wish Morgan Freeman is on your side.
And now, here’s a live reading of the LSAT
Morgan Freeman’s voice is his greatest asset. He could read the worst thing ever written, and it would sound like an angelic song. Morgan can read to us an entire SAT prep guide, or the results of a blood test, and all we would say in response is “encore.” We’re surprised Morgan Freeman doesn’t get hired more to narrate auto books, because then we may end up subscribing for Audible. Yet again, if Freeman ever does take us up on our suggestion, he’d probably take away the jobs of hundreds, if not thousands, of audio book narrators. Maybe he should just stick to acting and nature documentaries.