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8 Reasons Why Carrie And Big Don't Make Sense (And 8 Why She Should Have Picked Aidan)

Are you a fan of HBO’s Sex and the City? If so, you must still be watching reruns of the famous show, delighting as “the girls” go from relationship to relationship as they navigate New York life as single gals looking for “the one.” Or at least the one for the evening.

Were you one to pray that Carrie and “Big” made it to the altar or were you more of an Aidan fan, hoping Carrie would realize nice guys can be just as exciting as the ones who make things difficult? Or maybe you felt neither of those guys were right for her, but who was she to wind up with? Berger?

Whether you thought Carrie and Big were the perfect match or you thought he was a waste of her time and prime dating years, you have to admit that there were some things that just didn’t make sense about Carrie and Big’s relationship, as fun as it was to watch from our sofas.

And on the Aidan side of things, maybe Carrie would have been better off choosing him as her honey. They did fall in love, broke up, and got back together, and heck, he even proposed. But be it timing, fear, doubt, or Carrie’s not-so-secret desire to be with Big, the Carrie-Aidan thing just wasn’t meant to be.

But that doesn’t mean we can’t come up with 8 legit reasons why Carrie should have picked him over Big. Even if Aidan was more “granola” and Carrie was more Gucci, they could have met somewhere in the middle. If only Big wasn’t so darn charming.

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16 She Never Called Big by His Name

Of course, we learned by the end of the HBO series that Big’s name was actually John. The reaction was a mix of “finally” and “John?” But as the seasons of Sex and the City went on, Carrie’s love interest was only referred to as “Big.” It is one thing if that was what Carrie called him when talking with her gal pals, but she never even called him by his name when they were alone. And he never said his own name either, like when leaving an answering machine message for instance. Even “The Russian” had a name we knew, as did nearly all of Carrie’s other fellas. Being that his name was never used seemed awfully unusual. Sure, lots of people call their significant other “honey” or “babe,” but they also have a proper name that everyone is fully aware of, especially the people in the relationship. Was it that the writers hadn’t named him, or was there a reason for viewers to never know what his name was? All we know is that is was super-strange that he always called her Carrie, but she never called him anything at all. Not even Mr. Big, which would have been even weirder. Unless he found it flattering.

15 Big And Carrie Never Hung Out With Friends

All the girls knew who Big was and met him on many occasions, but Carrie and Big never double dated, at least not with any of Carrie’s pals and their fellas. There were some group dates, but never a two-on-two. Considering other instances of double dating on SATC were shown over the seasons, never seeing Carrie and Big on one of them was questionable and didn’t really make much sense. They were on-again/off-again for years, so the idea that a double date never played out was curious. Carrie and Big ate meals out all the time, so why not invite another pair along for a drink or supper? Big must have known that Carrie would have loved the idea, but he always kept things private and pressure-free. Manhattan couples double date all the time, so the concept would have been genuine and “normal” when it came to what New Yorkers were doing at the time.

Big had a way of keeping their relationship from moving forward or being to0 “PDA” about it, at least in front of her friends.

Maybe they didn’t want to split the bill, but even that makes no sense since Big was loaded. Perhaps he just wanted Carrie all to himself, making it a table for two every time.

14 Big and Carrie Never Talked About One Another’s Families

Aside from the time that Carrie spotted Big at church with his mom, the two rarely (if ever) discussed one another’s family situation. Okay, we learned that Big was previously married, but what about moms, dads, siblings, grandparents, and the like? There was no discussion whatsoever and no indication that they even cared about one another’s families. Were they even invited to the wedding? Where did Carrie and Big come from and what were their upbringings like? Sure, this type of info may not be what SATC was all about, but it seems like something a couple would discuss at one point or another. Neither even had a single pic of any family member on the mantle. They could have mentioned something, anything to give viewers some insight into how they became the people they are today.

And once the scene with Big’s mom was over, that was the last we heard of saw of her. Carrie never even asked how she was doing.

Maybe if a Sex and the City 3 movie ever comes out, this topic will be covered. But by now, it is sad to say that some of the older (fictional) family members may no longer be with us.

13 She Only Found Out That Big was Married Before by Accident

“You were married?” You’d think that a fella would let his girlfriend in on the fact that he is divorced. Mentioning it nonchalantly seems not only shocking but insensitive. So, we learned that Big was married sort of by accident, since it didn’t seem like he had made any specific plans to tell Carrie in a caring way. It is kind of a big deal, don’t you think? Especially for a guy who at the time was all about never getting married. Carrie was quite shocked that he just slipped that sort of info into casual conversation thinking it was no big whoop or perhaps she already knew. Naturally, this news made Carrie crazy curious and understandably suspicious. She went out on a limb and tried to find out who Big’s ex was. She actually met her and pitched the idea for a book to her since the ex was a publisher. Thinking she was sneaky and sly, Carrie then came to learn that the ex and Big still talk and he knew that Carrie met her! What a mess.

If only Big had told Carrie that he was married before, the whole thing would have gone a lot more smoothly.

It just doesn’t make sense that he would have left this material out of their many deep conversations. Then again, the second time was a charm when Big and Carrie finally wed.

12 He Did Not Seem All that Into Fashion

Carrie was the ultimate fashion girl. Everything she wore was on trend, super-high-fashion, and designed by the best and brightest in the clothing biz. She was all about hot designers, expensive clothing, chic shoes, all the cool accessories that matched, and then some. But what about Big? His look was far from fashion-forward. He wore basic blue or black suits and bland ensembles. Sure, he looked okay, but his fashion sense was nothing like his girlfriend’s. Carrie’s NYC apartment clothing closet was stuffed to capacity and we can imagine that Big’s was bare and blah. Not that his fashion sensibilities had to match those of his girlfriend’s, but you would think he would have picked up on some of her style.

But Carrie liked Big just the way he was, which is nice, but it seemed like she would have insisted he take his look up a notch or two. She brought her boyfriend Berger to a high-end NYC clothing store, Prada, so why not bring Big?

He would have looked even more dapper in something well-fitted and fabulous. Big certainly had the money to splurge on something special. Or at least he could have bought something nice for his woman.

11 He Never Much Commented on Her Writing

Carrie’s career was that of a writer. And although we knew Big worked in money, it was never quite clear what he did. One thing we know is that he didn’t much discuss her writing. Aside from the time Carrie did a book tour while they were no longer together and Big showed up to ask all sorts of questions about his role in many of her columns, for the majority of the time the two were an item, her writing was rarely discussed.

He must have known she was writing about their relationship, yet they never chatted about it. Did he ever even read her column?

Did he care about what she was writing, even if it reflected negatively upon him? Did any of his friends or associates read what she wrote weekly? It seems odd that this topic was not part of the everyday conversation. Even if she didn’t write about relationships, wouldn’t he be curious to learn what she was up to day in and day out? Not that it is fun to talk about work all the time, but a question here and there seems typical. We guess these two didn’t want to mix business with pleasure.

10 They Seemed to Only Go Out at Night

Were these two vampires or owls? Why was it that Big and Carrie rarely saw the light of day? Mostly, they only went out at night. What about a relaxing Sunday brunch or an afternoon stroll in Central Park? NYC has plenty to offer while the sun is shining, yet Big and Carrie waited until the moon was out before stepping out. There were a few instances when they were out during the day, but it seemed almost odd to see Big basking in the sunlight. He seemed out of his element when he was getting too much vitamin D. Not to say Manhattan nightlife isn’t exciting, but an afternoon picnic or a Broadway matinee would have been refreshing.

Perhaps the writers decided that Carrie and Big’s relationship was more about the sensuality of sunset and the allure of what could happen during the wee hours of the night. Nothing too racy could happen at noon near an ice cream truck.

So, we got to see Carrie get all dolled up for dinner dates, drinks, and the like, and Big would pull up like a big shot in his chauffeured car and they’d zip around the city. Who needs sunshine when the stars can guide the way?

9 They Never Really Discussed Kids

via HBO

For a show called Sex and the City, you’d think the topic of birth control might pop up every now and then. Big and Carrie certainly did plenty of the “horizontal mambo” yet they never mentioned using protection. Neither of them had any interest in having children, and we all know where babies come from. No kids, it’s not a stork. Were they just crossing their fingers and hoping his “swimmers” never made it to the finish line? Was Carrie on the pill but never brought it up? Okay, there was the time she got her diaphragm stuck inside her body and one of her girlfriends had to help fish it out, but that was girl talk, not a serious conversation between the ones actually doing the canoodling. They never showed Big whipping out a box of Trojans or even asking if Carrie was taking birth control. Was Big secretly hoping for a “Little?” Surely Carrie didn’t want to have a baby, so the omission of the birth control topic seemed odd considering all the “fun” they were having in the bedroom. Miranda certainly found out the hard way what happens when you pass on protection. It’s called responsibility people!

8 Aidan Was Down to Earth

Aidan was a chill guy. He was low key, down to earth, and was a “you get what you see” kinda person. With all the games Big played, you’d think Carrie would find a fella like Aidan to be a breath of fresh air. He didn’t care about showing off and was never pretentious or materialistic. He was a handyman, a dog lover, and a simple type of man who never thought too highly of himself. Big, on the other hand, seemed like he was full of himself, cared more about the finer things in life than the things that were more meaningful, and was a total show off. Maybe Carrie liked different things about the different guys, but when it comes down to what kind of person makes for a good partner, the down-to-Earth ones are usually the keepers. But Carrie was just as show-off-ish as Big in many ways. She loved Aidan for who he was, but she ultimately wanted a man who knew where the finest restaurants were, and which bottle of wine would go best with their meal. Aidan was more of a six-pack of beer boy. Down to Earth was no match for designer suits and a chauffeur-driven car. She missed out on a kind-hearted hunk who valued what was on the inside.

7 Aidan Was Always Honest

Aidan never lied to Carrie. Even after she was caught cheating on him with Big, he was always upfront and honest with her, even if some may have felt she didn’t deserve it. Aidan had a heart of gold and valued intimacy and honesty above all else. He would never lie, cheat, steal, or do anything that wasn’t above board. He was vulnerable and trustworthy, two things that Big surely was not. Carrie could never get through to Big the way she could with Aidan. Big often had a wall up, making him hard to connect with and trust.

She always wanted intimacy and trust with Big, but when she got these things from Aidan, it just wasn’t enough.

Perhaps she wished she could find a man that was the perfect combination of her two great loves. Of course, that man likely does not exist, but when it comes to important qualities one may want in a mate, honesty is usually at the top of the list. Big could have been lying to Carrie all the time but she just wanted him to want her as much as she longed for him, even if she had to deal with a lack of trust to some degree. Poor Aidan, nice guys always finish last.

6 Aidan Was really in Love with Her

Aidan was madly in love with Carrie. For so long, she was in love with Big, but he would not reveal how he felt about her. But Aidan was straightforward with Carrie about his desire for her and was committed to the relationship wholeheartedly. He was in love with everything about her even thought they had gone through some rough patches throughout their relationship.

Carrie was always looking for love, but she was hoping it would come from Big in some sort of grand gesture.

She cared deeply for Aidan, so why wasn’t his proclamation of love for her enough for her to feel the same? She said she loved him too, but Big was always on her mind and in her heart. This didn’t leave room for her to develop stronger feelings for Aidan and give him the love he was longing for in return. Carrie must have been over the moon that Aidan loved her like he did, but still, love from him did not mean the same thing to her as love from Big did. It was too bad that the love Aidan had for Carrie was not reciprocated. He was a romantic man who had plenty of room for Carrie in his heart.

5 Aidan Was Willing to Move Forward and move In

Carrie could barely get herself a key to Big’s place, but Aidan was ready and willing to move in with Carrie. She finally decided it was a good idea, but soon regretted the close living quarters. She always wanted to live with Big, or at least get a drawer in his apartment for her stuff. But Big was never ready for such a big change. Aidan, on the other hand, was all about “shacking up” and “playing house.” He wanted to get closer to the one he loved, move in with her, and eventually marriage her. Carrie was getting cold feet about moving in together and it was evident she made a choice that did not sit well with her. But if it were Big who wanted to move in, she would have been on cloud nine. Well, perhaps she would have rather moved in to Big’s place – it was a lot bigger! Point is, Aidan wanted to be with Carrie all the time, wake up and see her face, and snuggle up with night after night. But she was still after those things from Big, whether or not she wanted to admit it to herself. Eventually Aidan moved out, and Carrie was all alone yet again.

4 Aidan Wanted Her to Meet His Parents

Ah, the parents. It is a big deal when a guy wants his S.O. to meet his mom and pop. Carrie always wanted to meet Big’s parents, but she only got to meet his mom because she was stalking Big and his mother at church. But Aidan put his family right out there on a silver platter. And Carrie freaked out at the thought of it. What did it mean? Was it too soon? Was Aidan rushing things and moving too fast? Was she ready for all this and did it mean that she was soon going to be part of the Shaw family? Carrie decided not to meet them but at the last minute, she changed her mind and went ahead and met his mother and father. Since most men don’t introduce every woman they date to their parents, it must have meant that Carrie was someone very special. But was she ready to be this “special” someone?

Maybe it just meant that she was not sure if she saw Aidan in the same light.

But most gals would be flipping with excitement if their man wanted them to meet his folks. Carrie was simply still into Big, so she couldn’t think clearly. It is a good thing she didn’t meet the rest of Aidan’s family too. That would have been even more difficult once they broke up.

3 Aidan Was the Anti-Big

Obviously, things between Big and Carrie were always a mess. There was fighting, making up and breaking up, and all sorts of ups and downs. He was not ready for commitment and she was madly in love with him. He played games, got her all confused, and was never the sort of boyfriend she wanted him to be. On the other hand, Aidan was straightforward, kind, simple, and trusting. Whatever Big lacked, Aidan had it. So why couldn’t Carrie see that everything she was longing for was in Aidan’s heart and head?

What she really wanted was for Big to become someone he was not, someone more like Aidan.

They say you always want what you can’t have, but she could have had it all with Aidan. Aidan was the “anti-Big” and Big was the “non-Aidan.” The two guys couldn’t have been more different from one another except for the one thing they had in common — Carrie. But she could not have her cake and eat it too, so she ultimately went for the “bad boy” rather than the one with a tender heart. They say opposites attract, but in this case, maybe Carrie should have picked a guy who shared similar values.

2 Aidan Was Handsome

We know it is what is on the inside that counts, but Aidan sure was a handsome fella. Okay, superficial, but true. He was nice and tall, very good looking, strong, and foxy. He got even better looking as the seasons went on and Carrie knew it. When they got back together, Aidan was slimmer, in better shape, and his style went from “turquoise” to tailored. His revamp wasn’t what got her interested in dating him again, but it sure did not hurt. Aidan had that classic all-American look with a cute smile, warm eyes, and a rugged body. Big was quite a fine looking man too, but Aidan had that boyish charm that was simply irresistible. Well, apparently Carrie was able to resist it because she always went running back to Big. No matter how hot Aidan was, Big was always the apple of her eye, or in this case, the “Big Apple!” Surely Aidan would have no problem finding another woman to get with, but he only had eyes for Carrie. It was too bad she did not feel the same about him. If not for his looks alone, but for how beautiful he was on the inside as well.

1 Aidan Got Along with Her Friends

Carrie’s group of girlfriends were a lot to handle. From listening about all their relationships to the ups and downs of their friendships, there was a lot going on there. A boyfriend would need to have a lot of patience to deal with that dynamic. But Aidan was great about it and was always so kind to Carrie’s three best friends. There was the time when he helped Miranda when she was hurt in her bathroom and covered for Carrie when she could not make it there to help Miranda out. He came to Miranda’s mother’s funeral in Pennsylvania with Steve too. He was always nice to Samantha and Charlotte. Big, on the other hand, often got in disagreements with the ladies. They didn’t like the fact that he often strung Carrie along.

They thought he was a bad influence on her and was messing with her heart and mind. But Aidan was a guy they knew Carrie could count on.

Even Miranda went with him to help him choose an engagement ring, and Samantha went with him the second time around when it was discovered that the first ring was not Carrie’s style. It is important that your friends get along with your man and vice versa. And who wouldn’t like a guy like Aidan?

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