Top 15 Dumbest "National Days" In America

Have you ever celebrated National Step in a Puddle and Splash Your Friend Day? No? How about National Joe Day, Worship Your Tools Day, Write Your Epitaph Day, Frog Jumping Jubilee Day, Take Your Pants for a Walk Day, or Sneak Some Zucchini Onto Your Neighbors Porch Day? I am guessing you have not. The truth is that there are an astonishing 1,200 national days throughout the year, most of which the vast majority of people have never even heard of. And these are not even the craziest ones!

Yes, there is a day for everything under the sun, it seems. There is something for everyone and everything, from the seemingly arbitrary Crush a Can Day to the slightly darker Beheading Day and everything in between. There is even National Failure Day! But in my opinion, the month of January takes the cake for having the weirdest. For example, in the first month of the year there is First Foot Day, Men Watcher's Day, Play God Day, Peculiar People Day, Blame Someone Else Day, Measure Your Feet Day, Eskimo Pie Patent Day, Blessing of the Animals at the Cathedral Day, Rattlesnake Roundup Day, and plenty of others, some of which I will discuss later on.

While many of these Days may sound very silly, some are actually rooted in the right place, like Toothache Day, which is not necessarily a day to celebrate the pain in your tooth, but to recognize oral hygiene and respect what can happen if you do not. It brings awareness, so to speak. Or National Submarine Day, which celebrates the day in history that the United States Navy acquired the first modern commissioned submarine. So some of them are just for fun, but some do have a good message or history lesson.

I am going to go ahead and say that for the most part, though, these designated holidays are just plain silly. Dumb, even. And they certainly all sound that way! Why not find something to celebrate every day if you can? Why not live life looking on the bright side? So I give you the following 15 examples of stupid but entertaining days of the year that you probably had no idea were also celebratory of so many very random things.

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15 January 5: Old Rock Day

It may be a geologist’s favorite day of the year, because Old Rock Day celebrates, well, old rocks (and not the cool kind of old rock that we hear on the radio). I myself am somewhat of a nerd and love geology, but I know that most people find old rocks boring. And even as someone who can appreciate them, I still think it is silly to have a whole day especially dedicated to them. The origins of Old Rock Day are unknown, but some people think it has to do with The Flintstones.

Old Rock Day is a time to appreciate fossils, paint or decorate rocks, make jewelry out of rocks, give your child his or her first “pet rock,” or maybe begin a rock garden. Anything to do with rocks or stones is highly encouraged on January 5. It makes me think of the lovable but geeky Ross from Friends, who was a paleontologist. But sadly, as iconic as the show was, even he failed to make rocks cool. So alas, Old Rock Day gets a spot on this list.

January 5 is also National Bird Day and National Whipped Cream Day.

14 January 16: Nothing Day

My personal favorite is Nothing Day. And I decided that before ever even knowing what Nothing Day was all about. It sure does sound dumb though, right? But what is it really about?  And the good news is, as it turns out, Nothing Day is a day to do nothing! It is a non-event that there is no origin to be found for, other than for its founder (it was created in 1973 by newspaper man Harold Pullman Coffman). Unfortunately, although this day was “created” to provide a day for Americans to just sit around without observing or honoring anything or anyone, I have never heard of any place of school or work honoring this time to honor nothing.

Interestingly, one in seven January 16th’s also fall on Martin Luther King, Jr. Day, which is celebrated on the third Monday of January. So obviously, on that one in seven years where the two days fall on the same day, MLK, Jr. Day trumps Nothing Day.

January 16 is also Appreciate a Dragon Day, National Fig Newton Day, and International Hot and Spicy Food Day.

13 January 22: Answer Your Cat’s Question Day

You’re probably thinking what I thought when I first laid on eyes on this silliest of “national days.” What on earth does this even mean? But it is no joke. The folks at PetCentric have labeled this day a day for trying to understand your cat on a deeper level. You must figure out what your cat wants to ask you, and try your best to answer (I am not kidding- Google it). You are advised to try and think like a cat, and there are plenty of cat websites that take this advice completely seriously.

This “holiday for felines” that so few of us has heard of (right?) is very real, and there is a whole world of cat lovers out there that think they can improve their communication with their pets. It makes absolutely no sense to me (probably very few people will get it) but hey, whatever floats your boat. I will tell you one thing, though: if I were a cat, the curiosity I have about this day would have killed me already.

January 22 is also National Blonde Brownie Day, National Hot Sauce Day, and Nude Beach Day.

12 February 16: Do A Grouch A Favor Day

Another one to put a smirk on your face, Do a Grouch a Favor Day is supposed to put a smile on the face of that grumpy person in your life. At least, that is the idea. It might work better if anyone actually knew that this day existed, though, no? Well, it does, and its purpose is to cheer up your perpetually pissed-off friend, neighbor, family member, or coworker. It could be a simple or an elaborate thing that you do; there are no rules! It is simply a day to think of others and feel good about yourself for doing so.

No matter what though, your favorite grouch may not be able to resist breaking a smile when you do them that favor. Turn their frown upside down! Make the world a better place, one grouch at a time! Luckily, there are plenty of grouches to go around, and you may even be one yourself. We all have our moments. Some people are always pissed off, some people are occasional grumps, and the best among us are those annoying glass-half-full people. But I doubt you’ll ever have a problem finding at least one person to make smile on this dumbest of holidays. Go on, I dare you!

February 16 is also Kyoto Protocol Day and National Almond Day.

11 March 28: Something On A Stick Day

They just keep getting weirder and weirder, eh? This particular holiday happens to be all about celebrating something that is actually very important- food! Who doesn’t love stabbing little cheese cubes with a stick, or eating popsicles, s’mores, or kebobs? It’s the best! So naturally, there should be an entire day to honor this style of eating that is loved by so many. You can put pretty much anything on a stick: cocktail wieners, shrimp, fudgesicles, food samples at the store, the list goes on.

And let’s be honest; eating is way more fun when you put your food on a stick. And according to cute-calendar.com, celebrating this day is very simple: “Get a stick. Push something on it. Have fun with your creation!” Now that is something that even I, the biggest klutz in the world, couldn't mess up (probably). Timeanddate.com even lists every upcoming Something on a Stick Day for the next nine years! Now we will have no excuse to not be prepared when the next March 28 finally rolls around.

March 28 is also National Black Forest Cake Day, National Hot Tub Day, Children’s Picture Book Day, and Weed Appreciation Day.

10 April 15: Rubber Eraser Day

If you were not scrunching up your nose at any of these crazy days so far, how about Rubber Eraser Day? Observed annually, Rubber Eraser Day is a day to recognize, celebrate, and honor the invention of something we all take for granted nowadays, the rubber eraser. On April 15, 1770, one man named Joseph Priestly created a vegetable gum to remove pencil marks, and he called the substance “rubber.” From here, several more men we have never heard of took the rubber to new heights over the course of many years, until eventually it became the little pink rectangle we recognize today as the rubber eraser on every school supply list in the country.

It is a wonder more people do not know about this important day. Because unlike Failure Day, the purpose of which is to embrace your mistakes, Rubber Eraser Day allows us to appreciate being able to get rid of our mistakes by simply rubbing them away (that is, if your mistake was made using a pencil on paper- not likely, but ya can’t win ‘em all, right?).

April 15 is also McDonald’s Day, National Glazed Spiral Ham Day, National That Sucks Day, Take a Wild Guess Day, Titanic Remembrance Day, World Art Day, Jackie Robinson Day, and Income Tax Payday.

9 May 3: Lumpy Rug Day

Lumpy Rug Day is actually viewed and observed in two different ways. Some people take it literally, meaning they see the day as a time to appreciate the nice, clean rugs in their lives and get a start on their spring cleaning. You are encouraged to throw out any lumpy rugs you may have lying around, and bring in some new, non-lumpy rugs. Or, simply flatten out any flatten-able lumps in the rugs you do have. Others prefer to use the day according to its metaphorical variation: they sweep things “under the rug”. Either way, it is one more day on our list that is downright silly, and really just dumb. But your lumpy rugs- literal or otherwise- are not the only thing to be celebrated on May 3 of each year.

Lumpy rugs share the day with National Space Day, Garden Meditation Day, Specially-Abled Pets Day, Two Different Colored Shoes Day, and Paranormal Day.

8 June 5- Festival Of Popular Delusions Day

This oughtta be a good one. After all, I think we all know plenty of people who- at least in our opinions- suffer from various delusions. This annual celebration began in Germany on June 5, 1945. That is 364 days after D-Day and the last day the Germans were able to delude themselves that they would ever rule the planet. Now so many years later, we can use the day for a reality check, and of course to laugh at those ridiculous Nazis. It is also a day to reflect on some of the current delusions going on around us. Some examples I found are black cats, the five-second rule, and plenty of political babble that people left and right dub “delusions” from the other side.

June 5 is also Apple II Day, Hot Air Balloon Day, International Frozen Yogurt Day, Gingerbread Day, World Environment Day, and Moonshine Day.

7 June 13- Kitchen Klutzes Of America Day

This is one holiday I can get on board with, since it totally applies to me. Kitchen Klutzes of America Day, as its name suggests, is a day to honor those among us who may like to be in the kitchen and cook something edible, but cannot seem to actually do it. No matter how closely I follow any given recipe, I always wind up with something not quite right, or something different entirely, and usually with a knife wound or finger burn to go along with it. And of course, some spills and messes. It is essential that we recognize and honor people like me because without us, how would we ever truly understand how great professional chefs are? Or your mother’s home cooking? Makes sense, I know. So the next time it is June 13, watch an episode of I Love Lucy, or share your own clumsy kitchen story with the world so they can appreciate you, if only for this one fun food holiday.

June 13 is also National Weed Your Garden Day and National Sewing Machine Day.

6 August 6: Wiggle Your Toes Day

Celebrate this zany holiday by going barefoot, wearing flip-flops, getting a pedicure, or just plain wiggling your toes. Show those babies off for the world to see! Because no two people’s toes are the same; like their owners, toes come in all shapes and sizes and levels of hairiness, stinkiness, and ugliness. A small percentage of the population even has two or more toes joined together!

If you did not celebrate Wiggle Your Toes Day this year, well, you have almost a whole year to wait before it comes around again. An especially fun way to honor our ten little piggies is if you have a kiddo at home to play Ten Little Piggies with- they go to market, they come home, they eat roast beef, they run wee, wee, wee all the way home. A favorite nursery rhyme, for sure.

August 6 is also National Root Beer Float Day, National Fresh Breath Day, National Gossip Day, National Mustard Day, Taxpayer Appreciation Day, Corporate Baby Name Day, Hiroshima Day, Mead Day, and National Night Out Day.

5 September 16: Stay Away from Seattle Day

Apparently, the folks of Seattle do not want their beloved city to become the next Los Angeles. Basically, there are a ton of reasons that this northwestern city draws so many tourists and new residents each year; huge companies like Amazon that create so many job opportunities as well as the tourism industry are two examples. And while Seattlelites say they would rather tourists “come, spend money, and then go home” and would rather see tourists than relocators, still they would just prefer people stop coming altogether. So lest we upset some northwesterners, let’s stay away from Seattle on September 16 of each year!

This day is also National Collect Rocks Day, National Guacamole Day, National Play-Doh Day, National Tattoo Story Day, National Cinnamon Raisin Bread Day, and Wrinkled Raincoat Day.

4 September 22: Dear Diary Day

A bit more light-hearted is Dear Diary Day. Just thinking of this day I am reminded of my years playing Girl Talk at slumber parties and writing with gel pens in my diary that kept all of my boy crush secrets safe with a little silver heart lock and key. Oh, how I wish I had the problems I did back then! But anyway, this day celebrates diaries, those best of friends who do not ignore or judge, and are available any time of day.

This day encourages you to pour your heart out on paper- or at least consider journaling once in awhile, because there are many known psychological benefits to doing so. Dear Diary Day was created by Ruth and Thomas Roy at Wellcat Holidays and Herbs (it seems very strange, but apparently these two “create” holidays- and yes, they are patented.) But nevertheless, it is officially a holiday, so grab your pen and paper, and get writing about your monotonous events every day, or the coolest thing ever to happen to you. It is kind of addictive, really.

September 22 is also National Hobbit Day, National Centenarian's Day, National White Chocolate Day, Car Free Day, Elephant Appreciation Day, and National Ice-Cream Cone Day.

3 October 14: Be Bald and Free Day

Contrary to popular belief, there is nothing wrong with having no hair! Just look at Howie Mandel, for goodness sake! Or Vin Diesel, or Jason Statham. But the media would have you think it is the worst thing ever. Luckily, we have Be Bald and Free Day to liberate those with less than desirable amounts of hair, or any hair, at all.

The only unfortunate part is the time of the year, because depending where you are in the country it may be a bit chilly. But no matter, because on this day, liberation prevails. There will be zero tolerance of any bald jokes and you can appreciate the fact that you will never suffer from a bad hair day, nor will you spend a small fortune on hair products, haircuts, or anything else that goes along with having hair like (for women at least) the time it takes to make it look presentable. Nope, you baldies have freedom! This day is also meant to be celebrated in observance of hairless animals, as well. It encompasses anything that has no hair by choice or by chance.

October 14 is also National Dessert Day, so take your bald ass to the ice cream store and enjoy a well-deserved treat!

2 October 28: Plush Animal Lover’s Day

Yes, there is a day for this. For all you stuffed animal lovers, this is the day to show them a little more love than usual. I mean, there is a Mother’s Day, a Father’s Day, and even a Grandparents' Day, so why not? These days, no matter where you go, you will find a plethora of stuffed everything, from the cute to the weird to really anything at all.

Allegedly, this holiday was created because a collectibles dealer named Royal Selangor created a Teddy Bear's Picnic Day in the 1980s. However, it backfired when the other stuffed toys became jealous and demanded a special day all their own. At least, that is how the story goes. In any case, it is the perfect occasion to bring your child or family member (or hey, even just yourself!) to your local Build-a-Bear and get the creative juices flowing.

This is a pretty freaking great day, because it also just so happens to be National Chocolate Day! What could be better? Combine the two and snuggle that teddy while eating your favorite chocolate treat!

1 December 8: Take It In The Ear Day

Yes, I did say ear. National days (mostly) are not inappropriate. This one, however, is bizarre. Though its origins are unknown and it is kept alive purely by online holiday sites, many speculate that it is missing the “r”, in which case it would be illegal in 12 states. To celebrate this weirdo of a day, I suggest using your ears for something you normally would not on a day-to-day basis. For example, whisper sweet nothings into your lover’s ear, play “telephone” for a wacky reminder of your youth, lend an ear to a friend in need, or talk their ears off. Pierce an ear. Sing, “Do Your Ears Hang Low?” Clean out your ears. Listen to some tunes on your ear buds. Whatever you do, take this very good advice, otherwise you may be stuck with some awkward, uncomfortable, or even dangerous options for how to honor this here day. But you are pretty much free to interpret the meaning of this day as you please because no one anywhere seems to know what it is all about.

December 8 is also National Brownie Day, National Christmas Tree Day, and Pretend to be a Time Traveler Day.

Sources: daysoftheyear, cute-calendar

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