Money is no fun if you just leave it in the bank, but what happens if you have so much of it that spending your cash becomes a challenge? Once you’ve purchased your huge mansion, fleet of luxury cars, yacht, and private jet, and you’ve had your fill of $95,000 truffles, it becomes more difficult to come up with things to buy. Meanwhile the cash is accumulating in your bank account and just gathering dust – what a nightmare. It is illegal to actually burn money in the US, but you can spend it on incredibly useless luxuries, and this is the next best thing.

Incredibly useless luxuries are special because they manage to magnificently combine lack of utility with an exorbitant price tag. A classic example would be the 24-carat gold toilet (valued at $32 million), at the Hang Fu­ng Gold Technology showroom in Hong Kong – although this has a bit more practical value than some other extravagant items we'll be looking at below.

Maybe it’s unfair to judge how other people spend their money, but after hearing about some of these luxury items, it's hard not to wonder what those doing the buying could be thinking. Is purchasing a diamond-studded dog collar and solid gold bowl for a Chihuahua going to make a pet any happier?

It can be worth spending a bit of cash on luxury items because it’s a good feeling to own nice things. These purchases are often a reward for hard-work, and they can also be used to impress the right people. The problem with some of the more useless luxuries is they could be considered a bit too ostentatious. There is nothing wrong with the rich using their money in a way that is going to bring them pleasure, but it’s hard to imagine how paying huge sums for a titanium back-scratcher or ruby-encrusted toenail clippers is going to do that.

Here are just seven examples of incredibly useless luxuries. You know, in case you lay awake at night worrying how you are going to spend all your money.

Diamond Studded Fruitcake

Cost: $1,650,000

If you have ever experienced remorse over finishing off a whole pot of ice-cream, or scoffing the last chocolate cookie in the tin, imagine how guilty you are going to feel when all there is left of your diamond-studded fruitcake is a few measly crumbs. It takes comfort eating to a whole new level.

This dessert uses a secret recipe, and is studded with 223 small diamonds. It’s not the most appetizing looking fruitcake in the world, but maybe it tastes better than it looks. It takes Japanese pastry chef Jeong Hong-yong about a month to create this edible masterpiece, so you’ll need to give him plenty of notice. Just remember to remove the diamonds before you tuck into your slice of fruitcake. Those are not easy to digest.

Gold 3-Ply Toilet Paper

Cost: $1,300,000

Paying this much for a roll of toilet paper would be enough to give most people constipation. It would be literally cheaper to just flush money down the toilet after you’ve wiped yourself with a generous handful of hundred-dollar bills.

The roll is made from 22-carat gold flakes that actually fall off the paper as you use it - this is sure to liven up your toilet routine and may brighten up the day of a sewage worker. This expensive toilet accessory is made by an Australian enterprise called Toilet Paper Man, and it is apparently safe to use and comfortably soft due it’s 3-ply design. The company is prepared to deliver the roll to you personally, no matter where you live in the world. You also get a free bottle of champagne with every purchase.

The Winston Cocktail

Cost: $13,800

You’ll need to travel all the way to Melbourne, Australia if you want to enjoy the Winston cocktail. This special drink is only available at Club 23, and it takes two days to mix it up.

The reason it is so expensive is that it contains ingredients like the 1858 Croizet cognac (this alone costs $167,000 per bottle) and Grand Marnier Quintessence. One of the other nice things about visiting Club 23 is you might get to brush shoulders with celebrities like Tiger Woods – maybe if you buy him a Winston cocktail, he’ll give you some golfing tips.

Apple 4S Elite Gold

Cost: $11,000,000

Diamonds may last forever, but considering the rapid pace of technological development, it seems doubtful that the iPhone will still be popular five years from now. This makes paying such a hefty sum for an Apple 4S Elite Gold seem an incredibly fool-hardy investment.

The rear of the device is made from 24 carat gold, and the Apple logo is made up of 53 diamonds (there are a total of 500 diamonds used in the design). If you are confident that the technology isn’t going to get much better than this version of the Apple iPhone, you may feel okay to commit to using it for the rest of your life - this is one phone you probably won’t be able to just stick in a drawer and forget about once something better comes along.

Diamond Scrabble Board

Cost: $20,000+

This diamond scrabble board contains 30,000 Swarovski crystals and was created to celebrate the sixtieth anniversary of Hasbro. It was auctioned for $20,000, but it is probably worth more than this now.

Scrabble is a strategic game where you need to push your brain to the max in order to come up with winning words using a limited number of tiles – it’s hard to image how anybody who would be willing to pay this amount of money for board game would be any good at it.

Taking out your diamond scrabble board is certainly likely to intimidate any players you invite around for a game, so maybe it could give you an edge that way.

Graf von Faber-Castell Perfect Pencil

Cost: $12,800

When was the last time you stopped to admire a pencil? This stationary product certainly has its uses, but it’s probably not the type of item that is going to inspire you to write poetry about its beauty. This might change if you fill your pencil-box with the Graf von Faber-Castell Perfect Pencil.

It is platinum plated (there is also sterling silver version) with a guilloche pattern, and it has a protective cap that can be cunningly used to extend the length of your instrument. You also get an elegantly-designed built-in sharpener and fancy eraser. If you are tired of people not taking your writing or sketches seriously enough, using this pencil might help you get their attention.

Victoria’s Secret Royal Fantasy Bra Gift Set

Cost: $10,000,000

The type of bra a woman chooses can say a lot about her personality, and this $10 million option from Victoria’s Secret screams ‘more money than sense’. It comes with 4,200 precious gems, and these are set in a background made of 18-carat gold.

Just in case anyone is in doubt about how seriously you take your underwear, it also comes with 52-carat pear-shaped ruby. If you only feel like a million dollars while wearing this bra set, you’ve been short-changed.

It’s hard to imagine the type of clothing that would go with such extravagant underwear – maybe a hat made from panda fur, a diamond dress, and shoes made from koala leather.