Do you remember that scene in Mean Girls? Where Janice was describing the different lunch tables to Cady? You know, the jocks, the Asians, the burnouts, the art freaks, and the plastics? Ah yes, it’s kind of like Harry Potter. Depending on how weird you are, how cool you are, or what you like, you’re sorted into one of these groups. Unless you wear camo to school, then it doesn’t matter how you act because no matter what, you sit with the other kids wearing camo by the fake plants school cafeterias have. Not like you needed to blend in with your surroundings anyway, it’s not like anyone was going to invade on your territory.
Then there are those people that bring Yu-Gi-Oh decks to school. Do you know the kids I’m talking about? You know, the kids who sound like Stacey from Zoey 101, with the lisp. Pushing up their wire-framed glasses, and sitting in the far corner of the cafeteria. What does that make you think of?
In any high school movie, there’s always the nerdy kid who doesn’t talk to girls and who's nose deep in a book. Being super content with this existing stereotype, it caught me off guard to learn nerdy girls are described in the exact opposite way as of late. Not only that, but to see that there are articles and popular posts actually praising the idea of a nerdy girl. Are we still talking about big glasses with headgear and plaid skirts? I guess this isn’t the 1980s anymore, huh?
Alright, someone please break down the compounds that make up a nerdy girl. Is it one part eyeliner, one part controller, two parts boobs? Let’s be more realistic here, it’s not like nerdy girls are a special breed of girl. A pure bred nerdy girl comes with her own HDMI chord and KNOWS what it does. Wow, very rare, where can I find one on eBay?
Okay, okay, I’ll bite for a minute. I’ll go with this whole “nerdy girls” thing, but that means someone needs to give a good definition of what that actually is. Like, am I born this way? Is it Maybelline? Can I purchase a how-to for dummies online? Do I need to wear oversized glasses? I didn’t know it was considered cute and nerdy that I can’t see what a poster says a foot away from me, but hey if it is I guess I’m already a step closer. Or maybe I’m a step closer because these glasses don’t have real lenses to help my vision and I still can’t see what the poster says.
Now that I have my how-to guide and oversized glasses, is it official? Wait, now you’re saying I have to like Call of Duty and watch Star Wars? I mean, does League of Legends count? Or is that too far? Does that scream make it seem like I'm trying too hard? I mean if you’ve ever actually played that game you’d know that no one ever tries hard in LoL. Especially when you’re in your promos to silver one. Oh, I’m sorry, did you not understand that? Do you want to borrow my how-to guide?
So, as a nerdy girl, is your arch nemesis a preppy girl? The one who cheerleads and wears Victoria’s Secret? The one who's like “oh THAT’S how you turn the Xbox on, hehe”? And if we’re going with that, cheerleaders don’t play video games then, right? You see all these posts about guys saying it's stupid when girls only play Call of Duty to get attention, yet they contradict this by saying they want a girl who will play games with him. Come on, work with me here. I know this is a stretch, but is it possible a girl likes to cheerlead, and also headshot some poor fourteen-year-old boy across the map in her free-time?
What exactly do nerdy girls do best anyway? Watch movies with super heroes in them? Play video games? Why don’t you get yourself a girl who cares enough about your interests to watch anything you watch? Then, and stick with me on this one, watch what she wants. Don’t be a baby, no one cares if your girl wants to watch The Notebook for the third time, you’ll probably end up crying for the third time too, and your precious ego can still remain intact. After she tells you just how cute it is that you’re so sensitive, that is.
Who is starting these lies that nerdy girls are girls that majestically get ready in five minutes instead of two hours?! Don’t ruin this for us, we don’t want to have to live up to this just because we play video games or because we like super hero movies. Most will still like their mascara.
I mean, maybe instead of complaining about how long makeup takes, why not just shut up and take the opportunity to play a round of CSGO. You know, the round you complain you don’t get to play when your non-nerdy girlfriend is over?
More like "please help me understand why I have been playing Skyrim for four hours straight when I have a test tomorrow morning." Date a nerd, because she’ll be able to help you with your homework, they say. A girlfriend will help you with your homework, for the mere fact she wants to see you succeed, not because she’s a nerd. If you date a girl playing video games, you might both run into the fact that neither of you have studied for that math test you have the next morning. Both of you have equal opportunity to be asked for the quadratic formula and end up writing some bull like “down, A, over” because that’s the keypad code for the inverted song of time in Zelda and you’re really going to need an extra two hours on this test.
When someone talks about a nerdy boy, they describe some kid with a lisp, who has more collectable Pokémon cards than he’s ever had girlfriends, and whose clothes are way too big on him. Now, that’s totally unfair. I guess I should take this as a win and put a checkmark on my bucket list for being a nerdy girl instead of a nerdy boy. I get to be the hot one, and wear deep V’s, as I Twitch stream my team raiding a cave while I heal them from a safe distance. Meanwhile, you’re that guy from South Park who has two wrist braces and no friends in real life. You know the guy I’m talking about? Yeah, that guy. Like, come on. Are the labels necessary? Are the huge rimmed glasses necessary? Was the Last Air Bender movie necessary? No, no it wasn’t. The only thing nerdy girls do better, is being labeled a nerdy girl instead of a nerdy boy.
Today we examine the man, as he gallivants about with other men, equally as sweaty, as they yell about Magic the Gathering. Intriguing, yes, he just summoned his rarest card- but what is this?! All eyes turn to the door at once, and those who don’t hide behind their cards, intimidated by the site. Did a female just wander into the shop? Is she lost? No, no I’ve heard of her kind before. They call them:
Dang people, is it the pheromones you smell? Or my perfume? Probably my perfume, because none of you know what cologne is. I know it’s probably a very foreign smell to you all. I’m sorry, I’m sorry. That was mean, I’ll behave.
No, actually, I won’t. Go buy deodorant, its four isles down from the Pokémon cards.
Alright, so the point of all of this is, doesn’t every girl have a bit of nerd in them? Doesn’t every guy? We’re all human here, it shouldn’t be that far of a stretch that we all have different interests. After this, I still don’t think I have a solid grip on what a nerdy girl would even be exactly. Find a girl you like being around who is cool and treats you well. If she plays the same games as you and likes the same movies, you’ve unlocked a hidden door, but don’t hit her with the “you never let me have time with my guys” two months later because she games with you.
And if some of you are reading this and thinking "At least my 2D girlfriend and I don’t have to worry about such nonsense," you’re on the right path, friend.
No I’m kidding. GG easy, nerd.