If there is one general rule of thumb that seems to be clear when it comes to heterosexual relationships, it is this: women tend to talk about men in much more depth than vice versa. Sure, guys will tell each other about some stuff, how they met, how hot they are, etc., but to many men’s horror, it turns out a lot of women talk about pretty much everything. That’s right, everything. While that may be shocking to some, a lot of us guys have moved on and as long as it isn’t blatant, we try to ignore that this happens. Considering you clicked on this article, however, you must have at least a passing fascination about what your girlfriend could very well be saying about you while you’re not around or are a woman wondering if you agree with us.
In an effort to inform our curious readers about the things they say and do that may be getting reported to the female friends of their lady, we put together this list. While we clearly can’t be present during every conversation women have about their fellas, we are smart enough to be able to tell you about some agreed upon things women talk to one another about. Also, keep in mind this is a generalized list and doesn’t apply to all women, as there are exceptions to every rule of course, so if you know this doesn’t apply to you, then think about common things women discuss.
15 What You Tell Them about Your Exes
We all know that it comes up eventually in any relationship. How many people have you been involved with in the past, and why those relationships came to an end are pretty important nuggets of information when it comes to deciding to date someone. So think first before you answer these questions as any potential girlfriend will mull over everything they know about you and your previous relationships with their friends. You don’t want their friends helping them to find any warning signs in your comments about their exes so, for the love of god keep things simple by not oversharing. Additionally, make sure that you are fair to your exes as any reasonable person will likely conclude that you may end up talking about them in a similar fashion if you date and break up.
14 Where You Take Them
No matter what phase of a relationship you are in, the places you and your significant others go are important. If you take a potential mate to a fast food joint on your first date you better believe that is going to be one of the first things out of their mouth when they talk to their friends. However, if you’re in a long-term relationship and you begin to take them for granted or they think you are, the fact that you don’t go out like you used to will definitely be a topic of discussion. This doesn’t mean that they want or need you to take them to that expensive restaurant that requires a jacket and tie. What you should be aiming for is taking the woman in your life to a location where you can make positive memories together. Whether that means you wind up in a field where you can enjoy your surroundings or on a road trip to a place of special significance in your lives, the important thing is that they feel you care.
13 How Much Effort You Put In
We ended our last entry with the sentiment that feeling like your loved one cares about you is important for good reason. If your girlfriend starts to think that you aren’t willing to put any effort into your relationship that is an awful thing they will most likely start to complain about you to their friends for good reason. After all, how great do you feel when she goes out of her way to do something for you that she believes you’ll enjoy? We know we love it when our girlfriends surprise us with tickets to that movie we wanted to see or something as small as sending her love randomly in a text. If you’re not doing that for them or aren’t willing to stop watching your TV or stop playing that game to talk to them, your name is about to be run through the mud.
12 Anything Embarrassing You Do
Do you fart in your sleep? She’s talked to someone about it. Did your pants rip when you bent over to grab something? She’s talked to someone about it. Did you clog her toilet; leaving behind something you’d rather she not see? She’s talked to someone about it. Did you drink too much and puke all over yourself? She’s talked to someone about it. If you did something stupid that you’d rather leave in life’s rear-view mirror, then chances are that some of her friends heard the tale and maybe even had a chuckle at your expense. In their defense, would you tell someone if she did something ridiculous in front of you and hope she never learns you talked?
11 Any Fantasies You Tell Them About
Guys talk about sex. Of course, we do but not in the same way women seem to. We’ll tell our buddies we got lucky last night or that someone looks great in the nude but we don’t go into the topic in the same depth our girls tend to. Case in point, if you tell her that you’ve always fantasized about your woman dressing up in the slave girl Leia outfit, she’s not going to be able to keep a lid on that fact. The crazier your fantasy of choice or the harder you push it the more likely her friends know all about it. So, if you want to keep your private preferences between you two, go about discussing it with her as tactfully as possible and still know that she may talk about it.
10 Your Personal Hygiene
When you get into a relationship with someone it is common courtesy that you clean yourself up a little. So wipe that Dorito dust off your chest, take a shower and put some deodorant on before meeting up with your lady if you don’t want to be known as that stinky guy amongst her and her friends. Most importantly, if you think there is even an outside chance of getting intimate with her, make sure that your undercarriage has been cleaned recently, as nobody wants to deal with smelly privates. If you are ignorant enough to not give yourself a once over before meeting up with her you are doing so at your own risk.
9 Sweet Gestures
Your girlfriend has been having a tough time at work and tells you all about it. You reflect on the fact that she could use a pick me up and send her a bunch of flowers with a note saying you wanted to put a smile on her face. After she calls you to offer up her gratitude and surprise, her next move will most likely include letting her friends know all about what you did for her. Whether it is through taking a photo and posting it on social media with a description or individually calling her friends, the result is the same. She’s going to enjoy every second of bragging to her gals about the sweet thing you did for her no matter what form it takes. So, open that door for her, pull out that chair or lend her your coat if you want to be known as a good guy.
8 Describing Your Privates
We know what you’re thinking. You’ve probably spent your whole life concealing your privates from almost everyone in your life and while you may be confident in what you’re packing, you’d still rather details of your genitals be kept private. Well, if you’ve hooked up with a girl there is a very, very good chance that you should kiss such a notion goodbye. For whatever reason, it seems as though some women feel the need to describe your bait and tackle to one another in great detail, something we can’t imagine wanting to hear about. That said, we guess we have to admit that some of our friends have described some general elements of a woman’s nude body, so we can’t judge anyone too much.
7 How You Treat Waiters/Waitresses
Is there anyone who doesn’t enjoy hitting the town and going to a nice restaurant for a meal from time to time? We can’t imagine such a person existing but when it comes to such an outing with your girlfriend you may be walking into a minefield without even knowing it. A piece of conversation that is more likely to happen between a woman you haven’t been dating long and her friends, the way you treat the wait staff is extremely important. Are you rude to them for no good reason? That is going to be a major knock against you that will be something you need to overcome. Are you the talkative sort that puts a smile on their face without going over the top and embarrassing her? You’ve just made the road you’re trying to walk down a whole lot easier. Most importantly, unless you are completely unremarkable and talk to them in a charmless but inoffensive manner, your interactions will be a topic of discussion.
6 When You Stick Up For Them
Of every entry on this list, this may just be the one that could go awry the easiest. If your girl tells you that someone did something she didn’t appreciate and you go and get in their face, you could very likely embarrass them and put them into a situation they don’t appreciate. If you’re at a bar or club and some jerk says something and you opt to grapple with him instead of walking away, you could easily be the one that caused a dangerous situation to rear up. If you think that she is a damsel in distress that needs you to fight all of her battles for her, then she may feel disrespected and diminished. Women are a strong bunch that in a lot of cases don’t need a knight in shining armor coming to their aid but when you prove that you have their back it means so much. Don’t allow your friends and family to treat her poorly without making mountains out of molehills and you will come off like you care about her feelings above all others. No matter which tact you take, one that makes you seem like a jerk for making things worse or you come to her aid when she wants it most, she’s going to tell people about it.
5 Anything Rude You Said to Them
Let’s be honest, us guys oftentimes say things without fully thinking them through. Probably because we are used to talking to guys who don’t take our comments seriously and forget them quickly. When talking to our girlfriends, however, our thoughtless comment can cut to their core like a dagger when we didn’t mean anything by it. There are also those times when we get into an argument with our significant others and in a moment of anger, lash out at them verbally. While the degree to which our comments and arguments sting can greatly vary, the fact remains that if you say something awful and out of character word will spread. Perhaps the least fair part of all of this is that if you’re a kind hearted fella who usually talks to her respectfully you can say something tame in comparison to that jerk and live in infamy amongst her and her friends, too.
4 The Things You Fight About
We just touched upon the idea that the way we argue with our partners can very easily become a topic of discussion when we’re not around but that isn’t the only aspect of fighting that gets talked about. An even more likely part of a dispute that will be discussed by our girlfriends with others is the things we’re actually fighting about. Maybe you got into a huge fight because she caught you cheating; she’s going to talk about. On the other end of the spectrum, if you fight all the time because you never clean up the stubble after you shave, that too could come up in conversation in the future. While the severity of your actions will certainly hasten a phone call after we depart, even the things we write off as unimportant can still be examined in great detail.
3 How Attractive You Are
Another piece of conversation that is more likely to come up near the beginning of a relationship, this can still spring up whenever we do something to change the way our sweethearts see us. When we first meet our future girlfriend, she is most likely going to give her friends the lowdown on our looks, both from a more unbiased, superficial perspective and the way they see us. What that means is the way in which we carry ourselves can hugely alter how attractive a potential mate finds and describes us. Are you on the homely side but are charming, interesting, or passionate about life? You may presume that you will be described as ugly to her friends but that can easily not be the case. You may also think that how attractive your girlfriend finds and describes you will remain static unless you undergo a dramatic change in looks but that too can change. For instance, if you reveal a nasty attitude that may forever alter how attractive she thinks you are and what she tells people.
2 How Good You are in Bed
This one could be a blessing or curse but in a lot of cases, all of the aspects of sex with you could be discussed when you’re not around. If you know what you are doing and made her feels things she didn’t know were possible or if you’re a two pump chump who rolled over and went to sleep you’ll be talked about. If sex with you is good but less than tremendous or a tad robotic but still satisfying it will come up. Do you have a unique technique that she’s never seen before or did you fall over mid-act, rest assured, people are talking.
1 How Well You Treat Them
When putting together this list, our number one entry was clear from the very start. While guys need to come to terms with the fact that women talk about us far more than we talk about them, some things are universal. When we talk about our girlfriends the number one topic will likely be how great they are or aren’t to us and how they make us feel. So the idea that the same doesn’t hold true for them is just silly. Everyone associates the people in their lives with the emotions we are most likely to feel while we are around them, so if you treat your girlfriend well, she will think of you in a positive manner and tell people that. It really is that simple. You know, until they get into everything else on this list.