To understand Lindsay Lohan’s island (which will appropriately be called “Lohan Island”), you must first understand the World Islands in Dubai, United Arab Emirates. If you haven’t heard of it, it is a man-made archipelago of 300 little islands in the Persian Gulf, arranged in the shape of the world map, and it can be seen from outer space. Although the Nakheel Properties project has been in progress since 2003, the financial crisis of 2008 severely delayed its construction. But now, things seem to be back on track.
Dubai is the epitome of opulence, and these islands are no different. So it only makes sense that celebrities like Lindsay Lohan seek to make a home there. Lindsay has actually been living in Dubai for awhile now, and loves it so much that she wants to make it her permanent home.
LiLo, as she is sometimes called, has gone through several phases in her life — from the sweet little Lindsay we grew to love so much in her young Parent Trap days, to the rebellious young adult known more for partying and DUI’s than her acting career, and now the self-proclaimed Muslim activist. Having lived in Dubai for a few years now, Lindsay is on to her next project: designing an island that is to be part of the World Island project. Maybe it will be cool, or maybe it will be a flop, but there are sure to be plenty of absurdities to be found there. Here are 15 of them.
15. Pro-Refugee Lohan Nightclub
One of Lindsay’s more recent projects over the last few years has been opening up “pro-refugee” nightclubs, where people of all kinds can come together and have a good time (and according to Lindsay, some of the proceeds go to child refugees). Appropriately, it is called Lohan Nightclub, and the actress-turned-businesswoman currently has opened one of them. It is in Athens, the capital of Greece. After its success, she now plans on opening a second nightclub in the same country, although this one will be on the island of Mykonos. She said, “Greece has welcomed so many refugees from Syria, and this is something to celebrate. I want Lohan to be a celebration of people coming together.” On the Wendy Williams show, Lindsay said she has plans to put one of the Lohan Nightclubs on Lohan Island, as well.
14. A Gym For Her Boyfriend, The Korean Hulk
Just like it should be obvious that LiLo will put one of her nightclubs on her island, it should be obvious that the luxurious spot will be frequented by her current love, the Korean Hulk. He is enough ridiculous all on his own, so he will be right at home on Lohan Island. His real name is Je-Yong Ha, but in his native country of South Korea, he is known as the Korean Hulk. The massive bodybuilder (who stands at 5’4″ and weighs nearly 250 pounds!) will be a sure find on Lohan Island, as it is quite clear that he loves anything luxurious. He loves to show off his wealth (and his muscles) on Instagram, where he is also in a ton of photos with Ms. Lohan, herself. The supposed billionaire is 29 years old, and ranked ninth in South Korea for arm wrestling. On Facebook, he says he lives in Russia, but has been spotted with Lindsay partying in Greece and hanging out in Dubai.
13. Pokémon Go
Pokémon Go was all the rage in 2016, and even Lindsay Lohan got in on the action. The fad may be long gone, but LiLo loved it, so why would she not put it on her island? She, like anyone in her position, will likely fill her own little corner of the world with everything she loves to do, and there was a time when that included Pokémon Go. She was spotted playing the game around the same time that Justin Bieber was in 2016, something that (according to some) proves that celebs truly are just like us, meaning not immune to the dumbest fads and entertainment. In July of that year, Lindsay posted on Instagram that she was “getting started” on the super-popular smartphone game, and even included a link for fans (of her or the game) to a screen grab of the game congratulating her for winning a medal.
12. Muslim Fashion Stores
We do not have information regarding how big Lohan Island will be, but there is a possibility that there will be some shopping. Given that Lindsay has become somewhat of a businesswoman (and somewhat of a “pretend” Muslim) over the last few years, and since she has always been a fashionista of sorts, this is not out of the realm of possibility. Plus, there has been talk of her starting up her own hijab fashion line. If this is true, her own island in the Middle East would be the perfect place to set up shop. This rumor started up when Lindsay posted a photo of herself wearing a hijab with the caption, “New Fashion Line coming soon…” Some think this means she is starting a fashion line consisting of hijabs, other headscarves, and modest clothing. She is no stranger to designing clothing, but this would be something new for her.
One of Lindsay’s latest passions concerns helping people, especially, it seems, refugees (as we stated above, even her nightclubs allegedly give a profit to the refugees). So it would only make sense that if Lindsay owned her own island, she would welcome those that she has fought to protect. Depending on the size of her island, she could potentially build some sort of shelters for them, although what they would do there is unknown. To be clear, we are not saying that the refugees are absurd, but they are on this list because the thought of Lindsay Lohan inviting them to her island most certainly is. Just picture for a moment, if you will, a bunch of distraught refugees on a luxurious island in one of the most expensive and extravagant cities in the world. But hey, if it works out, all the power to her!
10. A Bowling Alley
Who doesn’t love bowling? Well, LiLo sure does, and she loves it enough to probably put a whole bowling alley on her private island. It might just be a part of her house, or maybe she will make a completely separate building for it. But bowling is a definite contender for something you will find on Lohan Island. It is one of her many hobbies, and at least it is something different than the typical bars, booze, and stripper poles you would expect to find on an island owned by Lindsay Lohan. It seems that the former party girl truly has transformed her life, so she will need some good, clean fun like bowling to keep her in line. She’s done a 180 in life, but perhaps bowling and other squeaky-clean activities will be enough of a distraction to keep her from relapsing. Fingers crossed!
9. Quran Classes
Although Lindsay Lohan has not officially confirmed one way or the other if she has converted to Islam, the evidence is there. She has been spotted walking around with the Quran, wearing hijabs, and has really taken to Muslim culture and life in the Middle East. Of course, even she knows she is no guru on the religion of Islam, but it would surprise no one if she were to offer classes on the Quran on her island. By doing this, she could learn more herself and help others explore the religion. We could see LiLo inviting Westerners and people from all cultures to join the classes, and she would probably hire someone who could teach the class bilingually. It would be just one of the many things to do on Lohan Island!
8. Little Mermaid Gear And Decor
Lots of people use mermaid décor in their homes, but LiLo has a special connection to the underwater princess from the Disney film: she looks a lot like Ariel, and she knows it. Lindsay has said she would love to play the feisty redhead in a live-action version (just check out her Instagram post above). There are numerous articles out there detailing just how much Lindsay Lohan really wants to play the little mermaid. There will, in fact, be a live-action Little Mermaid movie sometime in the future, but no details have been released. LiLo has requested to play the title character and even laid out who she wants to direct it (Bill Condon, who directed the live-action Beauty and the Beast, starring Emma Watson). Given how obsessed LiLo is with playing Ariel, we are willing to bet her island will be full of mermaid décor — Ariel, and any other kinds of mermaids.
7. A Tattoo Parlor
Lindsay Lohan has 11 tattoos, and they all have special meanings behind them. The writing, shapes, and various other images are on her finger, forearm, wrist, hand, upper arm, and side of her torso/rib cage. She obviously loves inking her body and getting a little creative with it, so we can totally see her opening up a cute little tattoo parlor on her private island — why not, right? The words on her body vary from quotes by Shakespeare to quotes by Marilyn Monroe. Lindsay also has a lyric from a Billy Joel song that says, “Clear as a crystal, sharp as a knife, I feel like I’m in the prime of my life.”
6. A Variety Of Spirits
It really does seem like Lindsay Lohan’s party days are far behind her, but there was a time in her life when she was pretty bad. With all of the DUI’s, jail time, and other mischief she got into while drinking, we think it is safe to say she had a problem. We are so glad she overcame her issues and hope she will stay clean, but we know there will be a ton of booze on Lohan Island. And this is not cool, because if there is one thing an alcoholic or substance addict should avoid, it is their poison of choice. Lindsay, who will likely open up a third nightclub on her island, will be tempted even more than usual if there is so much booze on her own private island.
5. Vacation Rentals
It might sound a little preposterous, but depending on a few things, there just might be room between the bowling alley, the nightclub, and the stripper poles for Lindsay to erect a few vacation rentals. Really, who wouldn’t want to vacation in gorgeous Dubai on an island? Even if it is Lohan Island, it is still a luxury island, after all. And Lindsay is probably (key word: probably) smart enough to take advantage of that. It is prime real estate, so she could very well choose to construct condos, little bungalows, or even a hotel on her island! Vacationers could swim, lounge in the sun, or take advantage of all the quirky fun Lohan Island has to offer!
4. A Room For Her Shaman
Yes, LiLo has her own shaman. In case you don’t know, a shaman is defined by as “a person who acts as intermediary between the natural and supernatural worlds, using magic to cure illness, foretell the future, control spiritual forces, etc.” Lindsay has had a shaman as far back as 2015 after she got out of rehab. On a recent trip to Thailand, Lindsay got bitten by a snake while on a hike and shared that, ” I’m OK!… Actually my shaman told me it was good luck, and positive energy.” If her shaman accompanied her all the way to the wilderness of Thailand, there is no reason to think that he or she is not important enough to also be a part of Lindsay’s private island.
3. An Emergency Room
Lindsay Lohan is many things, both good and bad. She is a true adventurer, having traveled the world since she was a child. Her most recent travels include to countries like Greece, Thailand, French Polynesia, and Turkey. And let’s not forget, she is living in the United Arab Emirates. Her love of the planet and all it has to offer is admirable, but she happens to be accident-prone, and thus will need some sort of urgent care or emergency room on Lohan Island. Think about it: she has been bitten by a snake in Thailand, had part of her finger ripped off in a boating accident in Turkey, and somehow contracted the chikungunya virus in French Polynesia. Combined with her wild partying ways that may or may not be 100 per cent behind her, we are thinking some sort of 24-hour medical attention is a must for the island.
2. A Souvenir Shop
If Lindsay truly wishes to make Lohan Island her new home, you can bet she will bring all of her most precious belongings there with her. This will probably include memorabilia from all of her travels, and since she has ventured off the beaten path quite a bit, this will include some decidedly strange things. For example, she recently somehow obtained a red cap with a Maltese cross on it, which is thought to have been given to her by a Syrian refugee family who’d received it as a donation. And that is just the beginning. There is no doubt that Lindsay will decorate her house, her businesses, and anything else on the island with her treasures from around the world. After all, it is hers to do with as she pleases, and it is likely that that will include all of her curious findings from around the globe. And as a way to give back, we wouldn’t be surprised if she opened up her own souvenir shop to share the love.
1. Dancing Classes
Maybe the poles for exotic dancing/”exercise” will be inside the Lohan Nightclub, maybe they will just be in her own bedroom. No one really knows, but it seems certain that there will most likely be some kind of pole dancing happening on Lohan Island. We bet you never thought you would read about refugees and pole dancing in one article, but when it comes to Lindsay Lohan, anything is possible! Anyway, LiLo learned pole dancing for a role in the movie I Know Who Killed Me. But it became an actual hobby of hers! She said she earned a new appreciation for real exotic dancers, and said, “It’s actually a really good workout. It’s really empowering for women to get to know your body and yourself.” We’re just curious how the whole empowering women thing is going to mesh with Middle Eastern culture.
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