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This Girl Threw Her #2 Out The Window (And Got Stuck!) – Here’s What We Know

High Life
This Girl Threw Her #2 Out The Window (And Got Stuck!) – Here’s What We Know

If you haven’t yet heard about the Shirehampton Sh*t-Slinger, then boy are you in for a pretty nasty and hilarious treat. This piece is all about what we know about the unnamed Tinder date who flung her own excrement out the window of her date’s bathroom. She begged for forgiveness and was apparently actually on her knees in front of this guy…in not an exciting way.

She then decided she best climb out the window to retrieve her doo. Well, she got pretty far down out of the window, but she also got stuck. Her date, Liam Smyth, was very helpful and made sure to take photos of the ridiculous position she found herself in. He also called the fire department in order to get her out. So it’s not all bad.

From this woman’s amazing new nickname, to her second date with Liam, and from their GoFundMe campaign to her classmates’ reactions, there is a lot of comedy to come out of this girl’s absurd journey from Tinder to toilet and beyond. So, pull up your pants, keep your hands out of the bowl, and learn a few things about the newly famed Shirehampton Sh*t-Slinger.

15. There’s A GoFundMe Campaign To Fix The Window She Got Stuck In

Liam Smyth and his sh*t-slinging Tinder date happen to be doing a lot of good for a couple of charities now that the humiliation of the date has gone viral. A GoFundMe campaign was started to raise the $200 to fix the window that got busted when the girl got herself stuck and the fire department finally retrieved her. The campaign ended up raising $2,500 and, according to The Sun “Liam said any excess funds raised by the appeal will be donated to clean water charity Toilet Twinning and The Fire Fighter’s Charity.” I think his choice of charities there are pretty on the nose and hilarious. It seems like that Tinder girl really found a nice guy in Liam Smyth. Good for her. I’m not sure if their relationship will really blossom from this but at least they’ve done some good for the world.

14. The Creation Of The Nickname

Because the woman from this ridiculous Tinder date has remained anonymous, I suppose it makes perfect sense to give her some sort of nickname so that people don’t have to keep saying “that woman who went on a Tinder date and flung her poo out the window”. Amazingly, it was the woman herself who decided to label herself the Shirehampton Sh*t-Slinger. I think it’s pretty fantastic that she had the notion to give herself a nickname before anyone else could really get the jump on her. There is a lot of sh*t-slinging that can occur over the internet so I think it’s hilarious that she’s the one to both literally and figuratively through the first chunk of sh*t. At least she can laugh about it after her incredibly failed date.

13. They Had A Second Date!

That’s right. After the mystery woman clogged up the toilet, flung her sh*t out the window, begged for forgiveness on her knees, and then got herself stuck in the window, the rather strange couple has had a second date. To be fair, this date was more focused on dealing with the details of the GoFundMe campaign, but it’s still pretty incredible that they are still staying connected. It seems like they might actually have a decent go of a relationship or something. “I think I certainly owe her a nice drink,” Liam said. “I think no matter what happens we’ll definitely remain firm friends.” It’s pretty crazy that she was the one throwing sh*t, and yet Liam is the one who is going to buy her a nice drink. That’s pretty damn decent of him.

12. She Literally Begged Liam For Forgiveness

After the sh*t-slinger had wrapped up her crap and threw it out the window, she immediately confessed to her crime, got down on her knees in front of her Tinder date (who probably thought the night was about to get way better), and then began begging for forgiveness. “I swear I was literally on my knees cringing and apologizing. He was so good about it though, just laughed with me rather than at me. It was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to say,” confesses the Tinder date in question. It’s a wonder that she admitted to the deed, begged for forgiveness, then proceeded to march back into the bathroom, hop into the window, get stuck and then wait for the fire department to come rescue her while her date took photos of the whole event.

11. Just Hanging Around…For Over 30 Minutes

It took the firefighters who came to the sh*t-slinger’s rescue about 15 minutes to get the poor girl out of the window (which they had to break in order to get her). I don’t know if you’ve ever hung upside down for a time, but it’s not good for your head. All of the blood rushing there can do some damage over time. The girl was already hanging there for over 15 minutes prior to the firefighters showing up. So, considering all of that time she spent upside down it’s not really any wonder that she spent a good chunk of her time laughing about the whole situation once she was rescued. Maybe a little bit of damage was done and that caused her to take the whole event in a much ironically healthier stride. I really must say, good for her!

10. She’s Probably Not The First (Or Last) Woman To Go Through Something Like This

According to the Telegraph, “if you’ve ever hidden an unflushable poo in your handbag, or lobbed a used tampon out of a window because you can’t admit to the person you’re dating that you’ve got a normally functioning human body? You’re not weird.” This wasn’t just the opinion of the paper, but also of the expert they went to see to learn more about why someone would reach into a toilet bowl, grab a big chunk and toss it out the window. It turns out that the sh*t-slinging Tinder date is actually pretty normal. People often try to display perfect versions of themselves when they are going on a first date. They want to be the best versions of themselves they can be. So clogging up the guy’s toilet doesn’t seem very lady like. Of course, neither does fishing out the clog and getting stuck in a window to retrieve it.

9. Her Friends Don’t Even Know

This is probably the most hilarious part of the entire story. This wonderful Tinder date has since gone back to classes and is being talked about amongst all of her friends. They are laughing about her and criticizing how ridiculous she is. There’s just one thing though…they have no clue that it’s their friend they’re talking about. She has kept completely anonymous even to her own friends. So she has to listen to constant talk about how silly she is. I hope she’s majoring in theatre because she’s got to be one hell of an actor to not give away that the Shirehampton Sh*t-Slinger is actually her. I seriously wonder how she can sit by and not somehow slip that she is the one who got stuck in the window. I mean…shouldn’t her close friends know just by seeing the photos? They’re not very clear, but they should be able to tell it’s her.

8. Apparently, She’s An Amateur Gymnast

When Liam found out what had happened and decided he was going to go out into the yard and collect his date’s sh*tty deposit from the yard to be rid of it and move forward with the evening, the girl decided that she could just grab it from the window without issue. Liam said, “Being an amateur gymnast, she was convinced that she could reach into the window and pull the poo out, using the tried and tested “inside out blag as glove” technique. Unfortunately, she couldn’t reach. She climbed further in and had the same problem. Eventually, I agreed to give her a boost up and into the window.” Apparently, this girl was quite the amateur gymnast. She couldn’t get through the window very well on her own and she couldn’t get back out again at all on her own.

7. There Are People Following Liam Around To See If They Spot Her

It’s a certainty that if she decides to really try and make a go with Liam, that she will not be able to remain the anonymous Shirehampton Sh*t-Slinger. Guaranteed there are already horrible people from the media following Liam around when they can, just to see who he goes out with; hoping to catch him on a date with the infamous Tinder sh*t-slinger. If they manage to stick together then it’s just a matter of time before the hundreds of media outlets who have already reported on this story will start pushing out her name. And then her friends at school will have a very different type of discussion about the whole event. They have already been making fun of the poor girl without knowing that their friend is the sh*t-slinger.

6. Liam Has Been On TV And Radio Shows To Discuss The Incident

Considering that no one quite knows who this woman is it’s incredible to know just how famous she has become. Hundreds of media outlets from print media to online news sites as well as thousands of forums have all had something to say about the ridiculous event that this girl starred in. Liam Smyth has also become a minor celebrity because of their crappy date. He’s appeared on tv and radio shows all over just to talk about the fact that this nutty date of his reached into the clogged toilet, wrapped her crap out, flung it out a window, and got stuck trying to get it back. He even reenacted the incident on TV to show everyone how things happened. I think this girl has revealed a lot about the state of media today. As well as how stupid people are these days. I mean, no offense guys…but the fact that this article exists says a lot about what people find entertaining these days.

5. She Blames The Toilet

That’s right, this girl took a pretty sizeable crap in her Tinder date’s toilet, clogged the whole thing up, pulled it out, wrapped it up, threw it out the window and yet she’s blamed the toilet for the whole issue. Not her likely fibre issue. According to the BBC, the woman said the toilet itself did not have a lid and was “honestly an awful loo”, but that her date, Liam Smyth, was “so good” about the situation. Liam really does have a ton of patience to put up with something like that when all he wanted to do was sit and chill with a bottle of wine and a pretty lady. Considering that Liam apparently lives in an area full of junkies and sketchy people, I don’t think his date can really be surprised about the toilet. But I think she should also be searching inward to her digestive system rather than blaming the toilet for the crappy date.

4. They Were Watching Something About Scientology

It’s not necessarily the case that this anonymous Tinder girl is into Scientology, but she’s at least into documentaries about it. That, or she really likes Liam as they were sitting down to Louis Theroux’s latest documentary about the bizarre religion. Liam called the date (before it got so sh*tty) Scientology and chill. A strange way to refer to an evening in. But hey, at least it shows that either this girl is interested in the strange and cultish, or is really interested in a guy who is interested in the same thing. “After our meal, we repaired back to my house for a bottle of wine and a Scientology documentary. About an hour in…my date got up to use the toilet.” And that’s where it all went down the toilet.

3. She’s Probably Got A Fibre Deficiency 

Ok, so I don’t actually know this for sure, but I do have a pretty good feeling about it. Unless Liam’s toilet is actually pretty “dodgy” as his Tinder date has suggested, then there’s not much more of an explanation as to why this woman dropped a log big enough to clog up the works. When you take in enough fibre and don’t have preexisting bowel issues, things don’t tend to come in the form of a brick. Of course, it could just be related to whatever she had at Nandos that evening as well. But the chances are that the South African grilled chicken chain is not likely to stop you up too much. It’s probably more likely to let it all out. So I think this girl, gymnast or not, needs to focus a bit on her diet before she and Liam get too deep into their relationship.

2. She Certainly Broke The Ice

I mean, if she didn’t break the ice she at least got the firefighters to break the window, and she almost broke the toilet. I’m willing to bet that this relationship could actually go somewhere significant. Why is that? She’s already done the most ridiculous thing I can think of to really break the ice. She’ll never have to worry about hiding her bodily functions from Liam anymore. They’ll clearly be able to keep pretty honest about those things without worrying about too much humiliation. A relationship that’s built on that level of honesty and an incredible amount of humility has got to be worth pursuing. We already know that they’ve gone on at least another date, and while Liam isn’t sure if she’s “the one” yet, it seems like they are going to be trying to make a go of it.

1. She’s Proved What People Thought Was A Myth

Apparently, and I had no idea about this until now, the whole idea of pulling crap out of the toilet, wrapping it up, and getting rid of it by other means has long been an urban myth with regards first dates. I don’t know why this is the case, but women apparently really have a hard time thinking that men will accept their regular bodily functions. This anonymous Shirehampton Sh*t-Slinger has proven to everyone that this is not a myth. It’s real. You probably already know that women stereotypically don’t release gas or excrement in public places or on dates. But there’s so much more to it apparently. A whole ton of stories have come to light about women who have wrapped up their crap and stuck it in their handbags, or have pushed their logs down bathtub drains…very strange creatures indeed.

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