A cougar is a large gray wild cat that can run upwards of 40mph. It is found all across the Western Hemisphere, particularly in densely-wooded areas. It is a carnivore that enjoys eating deer, livestock, and other small mammals.
There is also another type of cougar that exists across both the western and eastern hemispheres. This cougar is generally over the age 40 and are looking to have a fling or a relationship with a much younger man.
That '70s Show star Ashton Kutcher married actress Demi Moore. Demi has been called the "world's most coveted cougar." She was 16 years older than Ashton. Nick Cannon was married to cougar Mariah Carey who was 11 years his senior. Now, both marriages did end in divorce, and whether that was a result of their age differences or not, we will probably never know. There are also cougar relationships that do survive and thrive. These relationships include Khal Drogo actor Jason Momoa and The Cosby Show actress and ex-wife of Lenny Kravitz, Lisa Bonet. Lisa is 12 years older than her Game of Thrones toyboy.
Whoa. What have you gotten yourself into? You just started dating a red hot cougar but you didn't realize how much of a freak she was!
What particular traits might give you a heads-up that you are dating a freaky cougar? This particular cougar will always be a divorcee. She's been married at least once. She might have some older teenage or adult kids living at home. She's intelligent and a professional. She most likely works in a conservative workplace. Outwardly, she's a perfectionist and a control freak.
If you find yourself attracted to someone that has many of the above characteristics, watch out! You might be dealing with someone who likes to cut loose and get freaky behind closed doors. Her creativity and imagination have been stifled for too long, and once she gets you all to herself, oh boy, you better hang on! Don't be surprised if you get a phone call in the middle of the night requesting your immediate presence or a call during her lunch hour wanting to meet up. The woman has a lot of pent-up stress that needs to be released before she implodes.
15 Your Douchebag Friends
There's no way around it. You are going to get comments and snide remarks to your face and behind your back. Most jokes you will hear over and over again; they will be lighthearted and there will be no ill will behind them. But, there will also be some that are said from a place of jealousy and are mean-spirited.
Just smile and be confident in your relationship with Mrs. Robinson. You get to go home with her and they don't. The more you react to their spiteful comments, the more they will continue to egg you on. Just ignore the immature douchebags. You got the woman of your dreams, they don't. Game over.
14 I Want You
Not used to taking orders in the bedroom? Well, get used to it. From now on, you are going to be taking plenty of orders. The cougar knows exactly what she wants and she is not afraid to tell you exactly what she wants.
It might come as a shock but the majority of women that you have been with haven't been totally honest with you when it came to experiencing that big 'ending'. The cougar is definitely not part of the majority. You will know how to please her and how to make her purrrrrr!
For some guys, this might be too intimidating. They might get scared away. They are used to doing things their way and not having their performance critiqued. Don't be intimidated. Consider this a unique educational experience. Most guys would love to catch a cougar but they are quite the challenge to catch. Consider yourself fortunate.
You are smoking hot and have youth on your side. You are a lion in the bedroom or at least that's what she wants you to be.
Being young, you have the energy and endurance to give her what she wants in the bedroom. She craves excitement and plenty of adventure. She might have been married for years to a real dud and now that she's finally free, she wants to explore what's out there. She wants to experience the things she feels she missed out on while with her ex.
This is your time to shine even if you don't feel all that confident in the bedroom. You will act confident in the bedroom. Fake it 'til you make it if you have to. Chances are, you will learn more from her than she will from you! You may have youth on your side but she comes with more experience. If you want to be the lion, you must act like the lion!
12 Check, please!
You are the guy, and traditionally, the guy usually swipes the check when the waiter sets it down, right? Well, dating a cougar isn't all that traditional. Throw the notion that the guy always pays right out the window.
The cougar is assertive and generally likes to be in charge of everything. She will likely make the first move at swiping the check. If she does this, for goodness sake, don't fight with her about it. Express your appreciation and then move on. If you question her, she is going to feel like her dominance is being threatened. Just remember that you aren't in control; she is.
Now, it's fine and dandy if you offer to pay, but if she declines, then drop it. Nothing will annoy her more than having someone whine and complain, not respecting her decision. Occasionally, when out to dinner and the waiter asks about the check, she might say to split the bill, and that's okay too. She is trying to convey to you that she is not your sugar mama. She has more than likely been played for a fool before. Don't take this cougar for granted.
11 Social Media Skills
Don't expect her to send you a friend request on Facebook or update her relationship status once you two start dating. She wasn't brought up living her entire life on the internet. She doesn't need to prove to the world how happy she is with her life. She's a confident woman who understands the way the world works. In her 20's, as a young cub, perhaps she struggled with insecurity and self-confidence issues. But having grown from a cub to a cougar, those issues are no longer relevant.
Also, don't feel poorly if she doesn't accept your friend request right away. She values her freedom and independence. She might want to keep her love life and social life separate during the beginning stages.
10 Friends Before....
It's going to happen. She is going to choose her friends over you. She learned early on that dropping her entire life for a guy was a bad move. Who was there for her when the going got tough? Her girl friends!
As cheesy as it is to say, guys come and go but friends are there forever. This might take a few douchebag boyfriends for her to come to realize, but eventually, usually by the time she reaches destination Cougarville, she will completely get it.
A cougar will not revolve her life around yours. You are going to have to accept the fact you are not going to be #1. You are probably used to having a girlfriend that calls you in the middle of the night crying because so-and-so unfriended her on Facebook. You've been on the emotional rollercoaster with plenty of girls. A cougar is not going to use you as her emotional support or sounding board. That's what her girl friends are for! If that upsets you, well then, a cougar is probably not for you.
You have just had an amazing evening out on the town with your lady love. You head back to her place to continue your incredible evening. There is one little detail you should be aware of, though. You are not spending the night. Cougars do not like having guests sleep over, and if you are wondering if you would be considered a "guest," yes, you would be. A guest is anyone that isn't her.
Cougars are used to having their own space and freedom. They are set in their ways and don't like things that throw them off their routine. If she doesn't come outright and tell you that it's time to go, please take the initiative and bid her goodnight. If you don't, chances are good that the following morning, that gorgeous, carefree, fun-loving cougar you were out with will be more of an irritated, hungry lioness. Your very presence in her 'den' will annoy her. Why chance it? End the evening on a good note.
8 Patience Is A Virtue
Cougars are not known for their patience. They've spent years being patient and trying to keep the loving girlfriend face on 24/7. They simply can't do it anymore!
If you are consistently late or say you are going to call and then don't, please don't take it personal when she drops you like a too-hot piece of toast that just popped out of the toaster.
Her time is valuable. She has a life to live. She does not like to waste even a minute of her time; and if you are the unfortunate person that causes her to do so, you might as well just forget all about her. Forget hanging around your old college buddies and partaking in the same old shenanigans. She will not tolerate any of that tom-foolery.
7 Wedding Bells
If you've been together a few months or maybe even a year or two, talk of marriage is bound to come up, right? Caution! Tread carefully. You might be in for a rude awakening.
Many cougars out there are not interested in any til-death-do-us-part commitment. They are way past that stage in their life. They may have even been down that road before, and it left a bad taste in their mouth. Whatever the reasons, she may not be interested in hearing wedding bells again. And, you must be okay with that. Don't convince yourself that you can change her or that she'll magically wake up one morning and have a change of heart. If you are seeking a relationship that you are going to be in for the long haul and maybe eventually settle down and start a family with, try dating someone more your own age. Now, obviously, there are exceptions to this. There are those cougars out there that are indeed prowling around for a life partner, but they are extremely hard but not impossible to find. Keep your eyes open and your heart open but guarded. The right woman will come along.
6 Say "Yes!"
She invites you to a social event that you have some reservations about. You don't feel all that comfortable dressing up and mingling around with people you don't know. How much do you like her? If you like her a lot, suck it up and go with her. If you aren't willing to endure a couple awkward hours, dating this cougar probably isn't for you.
Many older women love having younger guys accompany them to big events. They enjoy having the arm candy and the attention that the arm candy brings them. Having you with them makes her feel younger and desirable, which is something all women want to feel. This gives her a wonderful confidence and posture. She will be even more beautiful with you at her side.
If she asks you to a museum opening, cocktail reception, or jazz concert, say "yes!" Don't complain about it. Relax and enjoy yourself. Above all else, keep her smiling. Pay her compliments, and if you see her getting anxious or tense, whisper something salacious in her ear.
Be assertive and confident. Don't be afraid to push back a little or give an opposing opinion about something. If you don't and you just go along with whatever she says, you will eventually get really stale and boring, and then you will sadly get dumped.
A cougar loves someone who gives a good challenging view on something. Intelligence is very appealing to a cougar. Don't act dumb or that you don't know about something if you really do. Cougars can smell bullsh*t from a couple miles away.
Be strong and show off some assertive prowess. Give bold opinions and then stand behind them. Don't waver when she expresses a different opinion. That's highly unattractive to any female, regardless of age. Just because she's older than you and likes to be in control doesn't mean she doesn't want to be challenged! A good, delicious challenge is something all cougars find absolutely mouth-watering.
4 Think Outside The Box
She's been there and has done that. When it comes to planning dates for the two of you, think outside the box.
She's probably over the whole dinner and a movie thing. Cougars are complex and exciting creatures! Give her something new. She wants to do something she's never done before. She's likely not as self-conscious as most of the girls you have dated in the past so you can do things that include whitewater rafting, winter camping, and hiking into unexplored Mayan caves without having to wait for her to apply layers of waterproof mascara or complain about what the humidity is doing to her hair.
Cougars don't need layers of makeup to feel confident. In general, they have learned to become pretty darn confident and self-assured in their own skin.
3 Girls (Cougar) Just Wanna Have Fun!
If you've been lucky enough to date more than one cougar, you've most likely had your heart broken. Cougars are notorious for playing the field and not getting emotionally invested in the young men they date. They just wanna have fun!
Why do they just want to have no-strings-attached fun? Well, cougars are older and they have more life experience under their belt. They've likely had their heart broken multiple times by ex-lovers or ex-husbands. They have no interest in getting emotionally involved in a serious relationship. It's nothing against you, personally. Don't get too upset over it.
Make sure her intentions are clear from the get-go, and if you can deal with it, have some fun with Mrs. Robinson! If you can't handle the fact that this won't last more than a month or two, then you might want to consider dating someone more your own age.
2 Guy Friends
Unlike women in their 20's that believe that guys and girls can't be just friends, cougars have many guys that are just friends. Cougars have no problem with having friends that are guys. In fact many cougars have more guy friends than girl friends.
Now, because this is different than what you are used to, you will naturally be jealous of your girlfriend's guy friends. You feel that you are in competition for her undying affection. There is nothing to fear. A cougar is forward and doesn't beat around the bush with such matters. If she was attracted or wanted to date her guy friend, she already would have!
The best thing you can do is make friends with her guy friends. You might come to find they are some pretty relaxed guys that have zero interest in dating your lady love.
1 The One-Liners
Yes, we get it, you are excited and ready to dance in the streets shouting about your new love. Well, in order to keep her your lady love, you better not throw those *hilarious* sarcastic one-liners at her. Is it really necessary to constantly kid her about her age? Do you need to remind her that she's your Mrs. Robinson? It was sort of funny the first time but then not so much.
This is especially true out in public. If she mentions The Beatles or some other older music group that she grew up listening to, don't laugh and remind her that you weren't even born yet. She's not an idiot. She knows you weren't born yet.
Most cougars are okay with a few laughs about the age difference with their beau but there are those cougars that are a little hyper-sensitive in this area. Walk carefully around this topic until you're familiar with her comfort level.