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Blind Date: 15 Reasons To Run For The Hills And Never Look Back

High Life
Blind Date: 15 Reasons To Run For The Hills And Never Look Back

If you’re single, you’ve likely fallen victim to “well-intentioned” friends and family members who want to set you up with another lost, single soul. Whether you are totally into the thrill of matchmaking, hesitantly on-board with the fix-up, or you repeatedly refuse their offer until you finally give in, going on a blind date is always daunting and anxiety-ridden. Sure, there’s a certain element of anticipation and excitement, but just like a box of chocolates, “you never know what you’re gonna get.”

If you’re an eternal optimist, perhaps you’re hoping Mr. or Ms. Right will be awaiting you with a sweet smile. You expect the date to go swimmingly and eagerly plan for a second. But if you’re dreading the date, you’re already likely having nightmares about a snaggletoothed ogre sitting at the bar with toilet paper stuck to their shoe. Yet, you’ve agreed to meet this single lady or gent, so grab your least-wrinkled shirt, spritz on some fragrance, and get the ball rolling. A bad date is better than no date at all, right? Maybe not.

While most blind dates are not horror shows, some can truly be disastrous. If you are on a blind date and one of these 15 things happen, run for the hills. There are other fish in the sea and other matches to be made. Ditch this date like a hot potato and wear your single status like a badge of honor — at least ‘till the next set-up.

15. Arrives Inebriated

It’s one thing to enjoy an adult beverage or two during a date, it’s another to show up already drunk. Some wine with dinner, shots at the bar, or happy-hour beers can be relaxing and help remove the inhibitions and tension which surrounds a blind date. But if your date is such a mess they arrive half-sloshed, it’s time to send this lush back in the cab they came in and call it a night before the night has even begun. Things are only bound to get worse if this person’s best-foot forward can’t even walk in a straight line. A drunk blind date who is seeing blurry and slurring their words is not your life-long partner. When they sober up, they may have a hangover, but at least you will have your dignity intact.

14. Shows Up Over An Hour Late

Save for traffic or an unexpected emergency, there is no reason your blind date should be more than 5 to 10 minutes late. Not only is it rude and unthoughtful, but it will set the date off to a crappy start. You will be annoyed and they will either be exceedingly apologetic or not give a rat’s behind — both of which will distract you from the date. If you are waiting at the bar, checking your watch every 2 minutes until an hour rolls by, you have already waited far too long. If there are no responses to your calls or texts and you aren’t even sure if your date will show, “ghost” before you even have the chance to meet. If you do opt to greet this lousy latecomer, say a quick hello and then bid farewell. You deserve a mate who has respect and can be reliable. Too late = no date.

13. Tries To Kiss You On The Lips At First Sight

A handshake or a kiss on the cheek may be appropriate for your first encounter with your blind date, but if they go in for the kill with a big wet one right on your mouth, consider this a sign that it’s time to kiss this person goodbye. Love at first sight has been known to exist, but a greeting that doesn’t involve the exchange of bodily fluids is far politer than a premature pucker. And if you see a tongue darting at you, this is a sure sign to quit this date while you’re ahead. If someone is so bold to kiss a total stranger, who knows what else they’re capable of? Purse your lips, wave adieu, and let this kiss-crazed blind dater find someone who’s more accepting of such a “personal” greeting. You won’t miss this kiss.

12. Comes With A Friend

If your date needs a chaperone and you were not alerted to this information prior to the date, then let those two have your reservation and make your way toward the exit sign. Unless you’re hoping for a threesome, this date of yours is likely insecure and immature. We’re all for dating safety, but plan the date in a public space instead. Are you supposed to cater to your blind date’s friend too? It’s nice that your date has a good friend, but there is something a little too close for comfort about this unexpected arrangement. If your blind date is joined at the hip with their bestie, perhaps they should explore the idea of developing a romantic relationship with one another.

11. Talks About Their Ex Right Away

You probably don’t expect that your blind date has never been with anyone else, but you don’t necessarily need to hear all the gory details of their relationship either. Perhaps somewhere down the line you’ll discuss past romances, but upon meeting for the first time, there is no need for your blind date to recount their past relationship and tell you everything you never wanted to know about their no-good ex. If you find there is nothing else to discuss aside from your blind date’s dating history, then this probably isn’t a match to begin with. Plus, it’s evident that this date doesn’t realize what is and what is not acceptable or appreciated for first-date chat. Even talking about the weather would be a better topic of choice. No wonder this person got dumped.

10. Gets Super Serious Right Off The Bat

Why so serious? Dating is supposed to be fun, not something to frown upon. A blind date ought to be light-hearted, open, and carefree. No talk of politics, religion, taxes, or death required. Unless you, too, are serious-minded and fun is not part of your vocabulary, then you should probably pass on such a serious soul as a potential soul mate. When first meeting someone new, getting down and dirty into the deep and dark is no place to start off something fun and free. Ask this date to lighten up or leave. There is enough trouble in the world as is. A date should be an escape from the darkness and dread. If you wanted this sort of evening, you could have stayed home and turned on the evening news.

9. Texts During Dinner

How rude! Why would your blind date text someone else when you’re right there, looking fabulous in front of them? Is the blind date going so poorly that you’ve already bored them to tears — or texts in this case? Sure, an urgent text from a family member may come through on a rare occasion, but for the most part, texting has become so common many people forget that it can be inconsiderate to text in certain scenarios, such as first dates. If you catch your oblivious blind date tapping away on their smartphone when they should be paying attention to you, send them a text from across the table. Make sure it ends with, “I’m leaving.” Emoji is optional.

8. Spends An Abnormal Amount Of Time In The Bathroom

Unless you’ve taken your blind date to a restaurant with a big “F” on the front window or it’s flu season, there is no acceptable reason for them to spend more than 10 minutes in the restroom. Especially if they offer no explanation for the long-loo layover. You would have to wonder if they are busy calling a friend to give them a play-by-play of the blind date thus far, snorting drugs, needlessly redoing their makeup or hair, or just trying to avoid you. There is nothing good that could be going on if your blind date vanishes into a public bathroom for 45 minutes. Just like the person you are out with, the evening has officially gone to crap. This takes “Dear John” to a whole new level.

7. Hits On The Waiter/Bartender

When it comes to the first date, the hope is that your date is attracted to you. What you don’t wish for is that they have the hots for someone else in the room. If your blind date is smitten with the waitstaff, you may find yourself waiting for the night to be over. Why watch as they bat their eyelashes at the bartender and suffer in silence and embarrassment? Leave your date to swoon over the server and make your way toward the parking lot. If your date can’t even commit to you while you’re out for the very first time, imagine what life will be like 5 years down the road. Flirting is fun, but focus can be even more enticing. When foreplay involves another player, you’re better off going solo.

6. “Forgets” Their Wallet Or To Bring Any Money

Whether or not you had planned to pick up the check, when the other person conveniently “forgets” their wallet or to bring any cash, your act of generosity is suddenly less meaningful. This is the first date after all, so nobody should assume one person is going pick up the tab. What if you did not bring enough dough to cover their share? This could have led to quite an awkward end to an already-flawed first date. If you think your date truly left their wallet at home, you should be able to sense their sincerity. But players will always play, especially if they don’t plan to pay, and you can spot one a mile away. You may have to pay up for paying the price of taking a chance on a blind date.

5. Doesn’t Know Your Name

It’s about halfway through the date and you have come to notice that your blind date has yet to address you by your name. Even when they were trying to get your attention in a particularly loud bar, they only said, “Hey you!” in order to get the conversation started. Even if you’ve just met, remembering the name of the one other person you are with for the evening isn’t as complex as brain surgery. If this person has such trouble with something so simple, you’re in for a bumpy ride. Worse might be if they called you by some other name, but why wait for even further disappointment? Re-introduce yourself as you end the night. You may not go any further in this relationship, but you’ll teach them a lesson about attention to detail if they’re ever set up on a future date.

4. Talks About Marriage And Kids

A blind date is no place to plan your walk down the aisle or whether you’ll give birth naturally. See if you can agree on an appetizer before you are picking out your first-born’s name. Jumping from, “Nice to meet you” to what diamond cut is your preference is a little much for people who have only known one another for a half hour. Even if you think you have met your soul mate, if they bring up anything that involves a veil or a diaper, their romance acceleration mode is on full throttle. Suggest a glass of wine before recommending a wedding singer. Yes, life is short, but so will this first date if there’s not a change of subject. At best, say “I do” to a second date, but make sure it’s not at city hall.

3. Has Horrible Table Manners

Not everyone comes from the school of Martha Stewart etiquette, but common courtesy and public decency is something that you should come to expect from a first date. Slurping, spilling, scarfing, and slobbering is not sexy nor is it acceptable. Is your date picking food off your plate uninvited or chewing loudly with their mouth wide open? Is spit flying across the table? Are crumbs taking over the entire tablecloth? Who raised this mess and why did they let them out in public? You did not sign up to train a toddler. Until this person learns to hold a fork, consider the chance for a match to be zero percent. Get your date a doggy bag and apologize to the busboy for the awful mess. You may not be a neat freak, but you do want to be allowed back to your favorite restaurant again.

2. Films Your Date For Snapchat

It’s weird enough if your blind date takes your photo or films you during your meal or other date activity. Are you unknowingly part of a dating reality show? There is no good reason to document this first encounter, especially when you learn that your date is uploading this first date footage to Snapchat for anyone to view. First dates are awkward enough, and knowing the night is being shared on social media makes the whole thing even more cringe-worthy. Sorry to say, but you are on a date with a social-media addict. You may want to intervene, but they’re already down a dark path of oversharing. Give them a big smile and snap your fingers in the hopes either you or they will disappear. Let’s hope what was captured doesn’t go viral.

1. Makes A Scene

First dates are nerve-wracking enough, let alone if your date causes some type of horrifying commotion. You want the date to go well, with nothing too extreme in any direction. But what if your date causes a scene? Perhaps they yell at the waiter, gets sloppy drunk, decides to expose themselves at the club, or just rants and raves for no apparent reason. These are not signs of a date that’s on the track toward going well. You may have been out of the dating game for some time, but this is not the new norm. Ditch this hot mess and block your number while you’re at it. This person seems to have a loose screw or two and you don’t need to become part of their crazy inner circle. Whoever set the two of you up obviously doesn’t like you.

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