8 Ways The Queen Will Sabotage The Royal Wedding, 7 Ways Meghan Will

The countdown to the royal wedding is on. From the moment Prince Harry got together with actress Meghan Markle, the world could not wait until they declared they were engaged to be married. Now that the announcement is official, all anyone can think about is when the two will tie the knot.

As the days pass, we get closer and closer to the big ceremony. Since the marriage between Kate and William was such a joyous hoopla, this one is sure to match it, if not surpass it in terms of interest and excitement. Finally, the late Princess Diana’s younger son has decided to settle down and begin his life with Meghan as man and wife. No more partying and no more hook ups. Meghan’s got him wrapped around her pretty little finger and he seems to be on board with the arrangement.

We wish the two nothing but a lifetime of happiness and love, but there is a little part of us wondering if this wedding will go off without a hitch. Naysayers think that Meghan’s not quite the right woman for Prince Harry and some “friends” have accused the actress of being a gold-digger/royal groupie. If these notions have any roots, the wedding may see its share of problems.

Perhaps the Queen will be royally pissed that Prince Harry isn’t going to marry someone from the U.K. or she’s not all-too-enthused about Meghan’s mixed race. Or it could be that those racy pics of the gorgeous gal have made their way to the Queen’s royal laptop. Maybe she can’t get over the fact that Meghan is older than Harry or that she has been divorced. Whatever the case may be, she has yet to crack a smile. Or maybe Meghan will screw things up and sabotage her picture-perfect moment. She’s new to all this royal stuff, and the princess-level pressure could be mounting.

Here are 8 ways the Queen could sabotage the royal wedding and 7 ways Meghan might. Will Prince Harry and Meghan’s “I dos” test “for better or for worse” right from the get-go?

15 The Queen Will Drink One Too Many Glasses of Champagne At the Reception

When there is a major royal celebration like a joyous wedding, the fine wine and effervescent bubby is always freely flowing. And who’s to say that the Queen won’t have a glass or two (or more) of the finest French Champagne? As she “cheers” to her beloved family and the new addition, she will slowly get royally wasted. No one will stop her from grabbing another glass… who says “no” to a Queen after all? So as the night progresses, the Queen will start slurring her words and tripping over her own two feet. The guests will surely have a giggle at such a sight, but the Queen won’t find much to laugh about come morning when her head is pounding and she’s puking in the loo. Royal rehab anyone?

14 Meghan Will Wear An Inappropriate Gown Designed by An American Rather Than A British Designer

We've all seen the risque pics of Meghan on the web. She loves to show off her fine figure and does not like to cover up. But will the royal family go for her tempting taste in mini-skirts, low-cut blouses, and push-up bras? We think not. And why should her wedding gown be any different than her usual foxy style? Surely, Meghan will walk down the aisle in a super-sultry dress, inspired by lingerie and lust. The fabric will cling to her every curve causing a stir among the royal watchers. To make matters worse, Meghan will opt for an American designer to create her marital masterpiece. Prince Harry will love his bride’s bombshell look, but the Queen will be cringing.

13 The Queen Will Wear The Same Thing She Wore to William And Kate’s Wedding

Sure, she has access to anything in the world she’d like to wear, but the Queen will show that she does not think Meghan and Prince Harry’s special day is all that special when she shows up to the ceremony in the very same outfit she wore to Prince William and Kate’s big day. Photographers will have a field day as they comment on the Queen’s “recycled” look. They will post photos from Prince Harry’s wedding next to those from Prince William’s and do the “Who wore it better?” game. Although this time, the wearer is the very same woman. At least the designer of the outfit will get some good press out of the fiasco. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. Perhaps that is the Queen’s new motto when it comes to fashion.

12 Meghan Will Be A Total “Bridezilla”

She may seem polite and friendly now, but once a bride-to-be is on wedding high-alert, her inner “bridezilla” starts to rumble and roar. And just because Meghan is about to become part of the royal family does not mean she is immune to the same sort of anxiety and stress any other bride may feel. It will be her way or the highway as Meghan sets unreasonably high demands and acts like a total “B.” If the palace staff thought the Queen was a ball breaker, wait ‘till they have to deal with the wrath of a “bridezilla.” She will go nuts if the cake isn’t moist, have a fit if her makeup isn’t done to perfection, and threaten to dump Prince Harry if he won’t wear the bow tie she prefers. Meghan will be mean and she won’t see any need to apologize. It's supposed to be “her” day, isn’t it?

11 The Queen Will Refuse To Give A Toast To The Bride And Groom

Once everyone is seated for dinner after the “I dos” are complete, it is customary for the important people in the couple’s lives to make a touching toast to the newly-weds. Naturally, everyone will expect the Queen to offer her words of wisdom and blessings for a happy future to the loving couple. But the Queen will cause major mayhem when she refuses to take the mic and blab a few words to Prince Harry and his wife Meghan. Oh, the royal shade of it all! Hopefully, Prince William quickly jumps into action and delivers a stellar speech for his baby brother and his new sister-in-law. He always seems to have a way with words. The guests will raise a glass to his quick wit and the Queen can finish her salad uninterrupted. Otherwise, the party will be toast.

10 Meghan’s American Family And Friends Won’t Follow Any Royal Rules Of Etiquette

When it comes to serious and stern rules and regulations, things are kept tight around the perfect palace. There are century-old traditions and customs that are not to be broken. One must mind their behavior and actions carefully or else the rigid royals will flip their collective lids. Meghan surely let her American friends and family members know about the ways of the royals, but once they arrive in the U.K., all lessons will fly out the window. They will stun the Queen with their table manners, act inappropriately in public, get wasted at local pubs, and trash-talk the royal family to local press. The Queen will not believe her eyes and ears, and when the wedding day arrives, she will completely shun them. Welcome to the family? Not exactly.

9 The Queen Will “Accidentally” Step on Meghan’s Train

Oops! Yes, that is what the Queen will say when she “accidentally” steps on the long train of Meghan’s beautiful wedding gown. But by the look on her face, we will all know that it was done on purpose. What a meanie! Perhaps the Queen doesn’t like Prince Harry’s choice in a wife, but she can’t really do much about it. So how can she get her point across? She can ruin Meghan’s special day by leaving a big old footprint full of soil on her gown. Nobody will suspect that the Queen did it on purpose, but once she gives Meghan an evil stare, she will know the Queen has it out for her. Hopefully the cleaning staff at the palace will be on hand with some powerful stain removers.

8 Meghan’s First Dance With Her Husband Will Be More Suitable For A Strip Club

As a Hollywood type, Meghan is used to being in the limelight. She is no wallflower and isn’t shy to show off her s*x appeal. As an entertainer, we all know she is a great actress, and as a model, she nails it every time. Something tells us that her dancing skills are “on fleek” too. So, when it comes time for Meghan and Prince Harry to take hands for their first dance as husband and wife, the mood will be more “rock and roll” than “royal.” These two will cut a rug, bump and grind, and twist and twerk. Meghan will give Prince Harry a taste of what he can expect in the bedroom later that night — not that he doesn’t already know. Is this a royal wedding or a scene out of Dirty Dancing?

7 The Queen Will Decide Last Minute That The Press Is Forbidden To Film The Event

We all watched along in happiness when Prince William married the beautiful Kate. Throughout the world, the wonderful wedding was aired in real time and we got to see the loving couple tie the knot in royal style. Cameras captured the magic of the big day and we were able to look along as Kate and Prince William exchanged vows and a tender kiss. Now that Meghan is engaged to Prince Harry, we once again delight in the chance to watch another royal wedding go down in history. But the Queen will ruin everyone’s plans by banning the press from the ceremony. No cameras will roll and no photos will be taken. Meghan will have a fit and the rest of us will have to tune in to Maury instead.

6 Meghan’s Bridesmaids Will Try To Shack Up With The Groomsmen

When love is in the air, it can be contagious. So, when Meghan’s bridesmaids watch her get hitched to the love of her life in a royal setting fit for the very best, they will surely be in the mood for regal romance, too. And who better to get their groove on with than the very eligible nearby groomsmen? If these fine fellas are tight with Prince Harry, you know they must be special. Not only are they pals with one of the most famous men on the planet, but they must be powerful in their own right. Like Prince Harry, they are sure to be steamy and sweet. These bridesmaids will have a blast dressing up for the big day, then possibly undressing for the lads as the evening comes to a close.

5 The Queen Will Forget Meghan’s Parents’ Names

Everybody knows who the royals are, but Meghan’s family is not quite as famous, to say the least. Of course, her family will meet the royal family before the wedding, but the Queen will have a hard time remembering who’s who. Naturally, this will be a major embarrassment and Meghan will be made to feel less-than. Her parents will have traveled all the way to the U.K. only to be snubbed by the Queen. The fact that she can remember Meghan’s name will be considered a feat. Although her parents will surely be in town for some time, the Queen will continue to call them by the wrong name or just go by the old, “Hey you!” This will make for some awkward rehearsal dinner conversation. And you thought your in-laws were the worst.

4 Meghan Will Reveal She’s Already Knocked Up

Hey Meghan, can you wear white to your wedding? Sure, traditions like those are out the window these days, but could you imagine the shock if the usually-svelte Meghan showed up at the wedding with a mini baby bump in tow? Flower girls and pint-sized ring bearers are undeniably adorable — once they are out of the womb that is. A knocked-up bride is not anything new, but it would certainly be a royal catastrophe and the cause of a nationwide commotion. Questions would arise as to the paternity of the child and royals would suggest that Meghan tricked Prince Harry into marrying her by getting pregnant. That said, the question on everyone’s mind will be, “Will the kid inherit Prince Harry’s red hair?”

3 The Queen Will Focus All Her Attention On The New Baby

Before the news broke that Meghan and Prince Harry were engaged, the big news was that Kate’s third baby was on the way. What joy for the royal family! Kate and Prince William already have two adorable kids, so the news of a third to come was a thrill. And then when the engagement of Meghan and Prince Harry was announced, even more happiness was bestowed upon the royal family. But when it comes time for Meghan and Prince Harry’s wedding, all attention ought to be on them, not the latest addition to the royal family. However, the Queen will dote over her great-grandchild and not give Meghan a second thought. She will focus all her attention on the baby and wish the party was a christening rather than a wedding.

2 Meghan Will Give Prince Harry a Sloppy French Kiss At The Altar

Once the couple says “I do,” it will be time to seal the deal with a loving kiss. But royal weddings are a far cry from quickie Las Vegas elopements, so the ceremony must remain classy and upscale. Elvis is not in the building and there will be no after-wedding all-nighters. That said, the man and wife wedding kiss is expected to be more of a brief peck than a full-on make out session. But Meghan will be so excited to be a royal, she'll forget all the rules and plant a big one on Prince Harry. The people witnessing the wedding may be British, but Meghan’s wet kiss will be undeniably French. Harry won’t mind, but the guests’ jaws will drop. Let’s at least hope she wears smudge-proof lipstick.

1 The Queen Will Make A Cheap Joke About Meghan’s Acting Career

Surely nothing is fancier to the Queen than being a royal. In the U.S., being a celeb is a big deal, but in the Queen’s world, Hollywood is a step down from her level of sophistication and class. When the Queen and some of the wedding guests get to chatting after the ceremony, the Queen will make fun of Meghan’s acting career and her racy roles. Yes, Meghan plans to give up her career when she marries Prince Harry, but once she hears about the Queen’s thumbs-down reviews, she won’t be pleased. But Meghan will show her. With her stellar acting skills, Meghan will pretend all is well and the Queen’s words don’t mean a thing. The Queen will never be the wiser, but Meghan will award herself with an Oscar to combat that grouch.

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