Dating is one of the most interesting, confusing, thrilling and exhausting processes that we humans go through. We go on countless dates in hope of finding that other person whose demons play well with ours. Dating is complicated, especially because everyone is so different.
Some base their dating lives off of superficial things like the way the guy looks and what kind of car he has, while others base it on more emotional criteria like the way they met and the way they make them feel. Regardless of what you are searching for, we all just want to be loved.
Women, more so than men, tend to be open about what they are looking for when they are going out on dates. Yes, some men are hopeless romantics but the majority of men are not. Women have such a hard time finding a man they like and when they do, a lot of the time it is hard to get a second date.
This inspired us at TheRichest to find 8 things all woman should do on a first date and 8 things they should not in hopes of aiding our female readers find the love they truly deserve.
16. Should: Say Please And Thank You
Please and thank you go a long way and if you have been going on dates with men without using these two simple sayings, then chances are you have not been getting a lot of second dates. When a woman is polite, it shows a certain element of elegance. There are not a lot of things as unattractive to a man as a girl who is unappreciative.
Not only does this show a certain amount of class it also shows a man the kind of woman you are. Men want to be appreciated and they want to know that their efforts do not go unnoticed. If they are not receiving the recognition they deserve from the start, even if they like you, they may decide it is best to not see you again.
15. Should Not: Be Rude
Being rude does not only imply that she is being rude to you, we at TheRichest want you to pay attention to how she treats those around you. When people start thinking that others are beneath them, it becomes a really unattractive thing to be around. If you notice she is rude to waiters and busboys, chances are sooner or later she is going to be rude to you.
Ladies, being rude does not make you a “bad bitch”, it actually just makes you look bad. There are so many instances where being rude is uncalled for. When you give off the impression that you are better than those around you, it is a real turn off to whoever you are with, especially if you are on a date.
14. Should: Ask Him About Himself
A lot of women do not want to ask too many questions on a first date because they do not want to be invasive, however, we at TheRichest, believe that it is not about how many questions but about what questions you are asking. On a first date, ask him about where he grew up, what he does for a living and how many siblings he has, you know simple things like that.
Do not, on the other hand, ask him to go into detail about his rough upbringing or the loss of his grandfather. A woman needs to show that she is interested but also show that she is willing to wait for him to feel safe enough to trust her. Skim the surface, do not go digging on day one.
13. Should Not: Be On Her Phone
The Instagram post can wait, you do not need to Snapchat everything and putting your phone on silent goes a long way. When a woman is on a date with a man and she spends the entire night on the phone, it is a big red flag for men. Today’s society is almost obsessed with their phones, the internet and of course social media. However, in certain situations, we need to learn when it is appropriate and when it is not.
It is a huge turn off to men because it gives them the impression that you are not into them, which maybe explains why he never asked you out again. There is nothing more demeaning than someone speaking to you while you block them out and scroll through your phone. If you want to spend the night on your phone, just stay home.
12. Should: Be Chill and Watch How Much You Share
A lot of times, especially on first dates, nerves get the best of women. Men can sense this, and often when we are nervous we tend to say things we do not always mean and even act like someone we are not. Another thing about this is that your date does not need to know your stance on every social conflict around the globe.
Yes, passionate women are sexy, however, being too passionate about too many things on the first date is often times intimidating for a man. On a first date, you should never talk about things like politics and religion. There is no reason to get into a debate with someone on a first date and often times when this happens there is no second date. Ease your way into stating your opinions, there is a time and place for everything and the first date is not it.
11. Should Not: Talk About Her Ex
Talking about an ex, especially for an excessive amount of time and especially on a first date is a huge thing to avoid. We know that it can be hard to not speak about ex’s especially when the breakup was recent, but this is something that all you ladies are going to have to learn how to do.
On a first date, there should be no mention of your former partner leaving your mouth. The man you are on a date with does not want to feel like he is your second choice, because let’s face it, who wants to be someone’s second choice. He also does not want to feel like he is trying to compete for your attention, especially when you are the only two people there. Take it from us, talking about your ex on a first date is something that should never be done. That is unless you want your date to spend the whole time checking out his watch.
10. Should: Eat
For some odd reason, women think that when a man takes them out to eat, that they expect them to order a salad. Well, let us be the ones to tell you ladies, a man loves when a woman eats whatever she wants. Regardless of what you may think, men want real women, who are not afraid of eating when they are hungry. A lot of women try to avoid the hunger by eating a meal before the date, then only munching on a salad and this is something that needs to stop.
If you are in the mood to eat a salad then fine, that is okay, however, if you are craving that burger, then why not indulge in that burger. Any man that is going to comment on what you eat is not a man you want to be with anyways.
9. Should Not: Ask About His Ex
Just like you should not be talking about your ex, you also should not be asking about his. First off, it is none of your business who his last relationship was with, how long it lasted and why it ended. That is a conversation for a fourth or fifth date if you make it there.
Secondly, it makes you look a little insecure which is something that turns men off. There is nothing wrong with being curious, but for a man, asking about the previous women brings up a lot of red flags.
Last but not least, asking about someone’s ex on a first date risks the conversation becoming extremely awkward, which is something that if possible should be avoided. They are an ex for a reason and if the relationship grows, in due time you will find out more but do not push him until he is ready.
8. Should: Let Him Know You Want To See Him Again
There is nothing wrong with letting a man know that you want to see him again, in fact, that is what you should be doing. Women think that by vocalizing this that it makes them look desperate, however, men do not see it in that way. When a man is interested and he gets confirmation that you would like to see him again, he is more likely to set up that second date sooner as oppose to later.
We, women, need to stop thinking that vocalizing their feelings makes men think they are crazy. Men should not be the ones doing all the work when it comes to courting. Especially because there are certain instances where a woman needs to give him assurance so that he has the confidence to ask you out again.
7. Should Not: Reveal All Her Cards
Women need to keep a little mystery throughout relationships, however, on first dates, it is a must. When a woman reveals all of her cards in the beginning, usually the man tends to lose interest. You need to always keep a man guessing especially on date one. Give him a teaser of who you are, but do not give him everything he needs to know.
This will not only make you look good, it will also make him more likely to want to take you out again. By showing him and telling him everything on the first night, not only will he lose interest but you risk scaring him away. Men approach dating a lot differently from women. They also scare a hell of a lot easier, which is why having a good poker face can come in handy in the dating world.
6. Should: Make Him Feel Like A Man
Yes, we know it is 2017 and men and women are equal, however, there are certain ways a woman likes to be treated and the same goes for men. Men like feeling needed and like they took care of their woman.
On a first date especially, you should never try to emasculate a man. Do not talk about his financial situation, let him hold the door open for you and if he offers to pay, let him. These little things are what feed the male ego and by feeding that ego, the man naturally becomes more comfortable with you. There is nothing wrong to succumbing to these gender roles in the world of dating, especially on a first date. Besides, you can make the joke that you’ll pay for the second date!
5. Should Not: Dress Provocatively
Yes, ladies, we know you want to look good on the date, but that is not a reason to be letting everything hang out. Yes, fashion is a statement, a form of art and a way of expressing yourself. However, there are a lot of good outfits that are bad for certain occasions. When a woman dresses provocatively on a first date it is almost as if she is asking for her date to not pay attention to her face. Men are easily distracted, this is something that is not a secret, especially when it comes to parts of the female body.
We at TheRichest believe that the rule should be to “pick one” either cleavage, legs, back or tummy, not more than one. This will not only help your date focus on your beautiful face, but it will also leave him guessing and wanting to see more.
4. Should: Smile
There is nothing that a man is more attracted to than a smile. Women do not even know the amount of power they have in their smiles and the effect it has on a man. When a woman is smiling, she exudes happiness which is by far the sexiest quality on the planet. Men tend to fall in love with the way a woman smiles, so when you are out with a man, and your radiant smile is lighting up the room, chances are he is more likely to feel something as opposed to if you sat there sulking.
3. Should Not: Bring A Friend Along
We get it, ladies, sometimes dates are nerve-wracking, especially when it is the first one, but that does not mean that you should be bringing a friend to tag along with you. Although having your BFF there may be a little more comforting than going on a date alone, realistically speaking, we all know it is not a good idea. Dates should be two people getting to know each other and by bringing your friend, you are more likely to spend the evening talking to her then getting to know your date.
This can also lead the guy to think that you are far from being interested in him because he is going to feel like you do not want to be alone with him. Being honest is always the best option and if you do not want to go out with him, just let him know.
2. Should: Be Herself
Please, ladies, trust us when we tell you to always be true to yourself no matter what. For some reasons, a lot of people, especially on a first date, pretend to be someone they are not. By pretending to be someone you are not, the only person you are truly hurting is yourself.
There is no one in the world that is like you and instead of being ashamed of who you are you need to embrace your individuality because that is the only way you are going to find that right person for you. The worst part about not being yourself on a first date is if things work out, you may feel like you need to be that person again, when instead, being more true to yourself would have been more than enough to get that second date.
1. Should Not: Sleep With Him
We hate to say it but sleeping with a guy on a first date is rarely a good idea. Do not get us wrong, for some people it has worked out, however, for most of us, sleeping with him on day 1 did not turn out so good. The thing about this is that there is less of a stigma in today’s generation in regards to this topic, however, for many men, when a girl sleeps with them too soon it makes them suddenly lose interest.
Men see sex in a weird way as a prize and if they do not earn that prize, it will never mean anything to them. Although every situation is different most men agree that when a woman sleeps with them on the first date, they are less likely to call them again.
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