We hope you are ready for a journey because we are taking you all around the terrifying land of AutoCorrect. They say that the road to hell is paved with good intentions. And if there is one thing we are sure about in this whole ordeal, it is that AutoCorrect is one of those good intention tiles that pave the road to the land of the damned. If you don’t believe us, don’t worry, you will become a believer by the time we are done with you here. But before we get to the golden entries that will make up this list, let’s talk a little bit about the background behind AutoCorrect.
The creation of this feature we have in almost every single cellphone around the world today was one surely intended to do good. After all, we are constantly making mistakes when typing texts or posts from our phone. So, in a sense, AutoCorrect is a feature that should help our writing become better and help us make fewer mistakes, hence the name AutoCorrect. However, the reality is entirely different from that. While we are sure that AutoCorrect sure helps a lot of people throughout their day, it is also the cause of many nightmares. And we are here to show you 20 of those nightmares fueled by AutoCorrect mistakes. So, be ready to start double-checking your texts before hitting send because this is what happens when you forget to do that. Do not be misled. AutoCorrect is not your friend.
20 Classic Craigslist
We decided to start off with this hilarious post because it is something that could be rather common for some people. If you have done business through Craigslist, you know that it is an “interesting” place. The only place you could probably find more sketchy stuff being sold and more sketchy individuals online has to be the dark web. But since most people don’t venture into the dark web, Craigslist is the weirdest place most of us know about.
You can find anything there, from cars being sold to weird hookup posts of people looking to get freaky with other Craigslist folks, which seems like a great way to get kidnapped and murdered. It also appears to be something that the person who was selling a Toyota Prius to our buddy Randy was somewhat familiar. Seriously, just imagine the other messages this guy received. He did not seem surprised at all by the AutoCorrect mistake he received.
19 Grandma’s New Hobby
A vast majority of the AutoCorrect mistakes we will show you on this list were made by unfortunate parents who did not double-check their messages before they sent them to their kids. Some of these were just funny, but others could probably kill some people from laughter, like this particular text.
It is always interesting when your mom wants to tell you what your grandma has been up to. And as far as we are concerned, we think it’s kinda cool to have a grandma who is still able and has just started taking up a hobby that is as awesome as horseback riding sounds. Nevertheless, the pleasant surprise of knowing that your grandma is cool enough to ride on horseback is not so pleasant when it comes after a terrible AutoCorrect mistake like this one. Just put yourself in this kid’s position. How terrifying would it be to receive a message from your mom telling you your grandma’s new hobby was having intercourse with horses?
18 The Best Parent-Teacher Conference Ever
Parent-teacher conferences are never fun for the student, but we are not sure that parents or teachers like them all that much either. No parent likes hearing how bad their kid is doing at school, and no teacher likes telling a parent that same thing. Actually, forget about that one. There are some teachers who we sure love telling parents how stupid their kids are. But that is all besides the point. We are here because this is the greatest setup for a parent-teacher conference ever.
Whatever Mr. Lewis was planning to tell Tyler’s mom that Tyler had done in school will be sugarcoated to such a degree that we cannot even envision. After this most legendary AutoCorrect mistake, we seriously think that even if Tyler was about to fail whatever grade he is in, Mr. Lewis will find a way to make him pass just to make up for his mom.
17 She Did That On Purpose
We don’t know about you, but it seems like a long shot that this mom’s cellphone AutoCorrected the word loan to boner. Unless someone programmed that on her phone, this is quite a stretch. But for the sake of the hilariousness involved, let’s just imagine this is really what happened. Meanwhile, we have already said this once, but it is never too much to reiterate. If you are a mom, or a parent in the general sense, please, please, double-check your messages before you send them to your kid.
If you don’t, there is a good chance that AutoCorrect is going to screw you over and end up making it seem like you think your kids have a similar relationship to Jamie and Cersei Lannister’s. On the other hand, if you are one of those wonderful parents who like to mess with their kids’ heads, this is one perfect way of doing it.
16 Out Of The Closet
Well, it seems like grandmas are not always safe from AutoCorrect. It doesn’t matter what grandma does. Your mom is going to find a way to mess up with AutoCorrect and make you imagine your grandma doing something that you would not usually believe to be so grandmotherly.
Now, this is 2017, and we believe there are plenty of grandmas out there who have come out as h*mosexuals. But this is hilarious because that doesn’t seem to be the case here. This is just an instance in which a mom completely lost a battle to AutoCorrect. Not only did the little devil that controls AutoCorrect change “home from the hospital” to “homosexual,” but it went a few strides further and made this mom completely regret sending any text to her daughter without double-checking it first.
After all, the grandmother being a homosexual mistake does not even come close to the mom saying she is getting “fisted” now.
15 Good Friends
You know someone is a good friend when he sends you a picture of his p*nis. Wait, no, that’s not it. Black Pumas. That’s it. You know someone is a good friend when he sends you a picture of his Black Pumas. And hey, we are sure this guy tried his hardest to make himself be understood, but AutoCorrect was just not having it.
Yeah man, it doesn’t matter how many times you want to tell your friend that you sent him a picture of your new shoes. We, the demons that are behind the AutoCorrect feature on your phone, are just going to keep telling him that you sent him a picture of your p*nis.
After getting past that hurdle, we also have to think about the friend who received this text. After getting that first message, do you think he went straight to his email and opened it? Or do you think he took a step back and waited to see what was really going on before opening that email and the attachment that came along with it? That sure would tell you a lot about their friendship.
14 The Racist Mistake
Now, there are a few times when AutoCorrect can really mess up someone’s life. We don’t even think that the time when a mom told her daughter or son that grandma had taken up a forbidden love for horses as a new hobby was as bad as this new brand of AutoCorrect mistakes.
Danielle seems to be one hell of a boss. Not all bosses sit through entire presentations and take the time to congratulate an employee for the good work. Even fewer will reiterate through text messaging afterward that they did a great job in the presentation. But sometimes, being nice can backfire in the most terrible of ways. And perhaps the most terrible of them all has to be the racist way.
In Danielle’s defense, this seems to have been an AutoCorrect mistake that connected the dots almost too perfectly. It would not have been racist if her employee was not Chinese. Unfortunately for her, he was.
13 The Murderous Intent
The life of a couple is not easy. Sure, when you look at it from the outside, it seems like most couples live amazing lives. After all, people are great at making other folks believe they are perfect. There is also the fact that the grass always seems greener on the other side. What we don’t know is what happens within the confines of the couple’s house or sometimes, in the confines of their text messaging. And, well, this seems to have been one AutoCorrect mistake that scared the hell out of one husband.
Who knows? Maybe this guy was out on a business trip and just wanted to wish his beloved wife a good night. What he got in return for being a gentleman was what seemed to be one hell of a death threat from his wife. Now, just be thankful that she corrected the mistake right away. Otherwise, we think this guy would have had a hard time falling asleep.
12 The Banana Rights
The Banana Rights are something activists fought for years in order to get done. Those are the set of rights that a cop has to read every time he arrests someone. It all started way back when people did not understand the rights they had upon being arrested. Back in the day, this was something cops took a lot of advantage of. Since most people did not know they had the option of staying quiet when a cop asked them a question, nor that they had the right not to say anything that would incriminate themselves, most people ended up getting screwed.
Wait, they are not called The Banana Rights? Oh, sorry, they are called The Miranda Rights. Who knew?
Well, everyone should know. Either way, banana rights has to be one of the best AutoCorrect mistakes we have seen today. Seriously, we don’t even know how much money we would have paid to have been the recipient of the first text from our good friend, Jillian.
11 What Breed Is That?
People who get new puppies are always excited to tell their friends about it. As soon as the new dog arrives, everyone wants to see it, everyone wants to pet it, and everyone wants to know everything there is to know about it. And one of the most common things for a friend to ask when someone tells them they got a new puppy is their breed.
Well, leave it to AutoCorrect to screw that one up too. The poor guy just wanted to tell his friend that his new puppy, Keith, was a Cocker Spaniel. However, for the friend, it just seemed like this person got pissed off at their question and decided it was time to grab all of the garbage around and throw it into a fan. Really, this was almost so aggressive that we had to think a few times over before adding it to the list. Also, let’s not gloss over the fact that AutoCorrect corrected an insult directed to itself. So yes, that thing definitely has a mind of its own.
10 The Landlady
Imagine you are in your room reading a book or playing some video games and you are wondering if your mom is still in the house. What do you do? You text her to see if she is still around. After all, this is 2017, and walking down the stairs is too much of a drag to anyone. This is where you find out that walking down the stairs might not have been such a bad idea. Because the answer you got to the text you sent questioning your mom if she was still around was nothing short of something that would change your life.
Not only did you just find out your mom was gay, but you also found out that she was having an affair with the landlady. Or at least that is what AutoCorrect wanted you to assume. Seriously, how terrifyingly funny would it be to receive a text from your mom saying that she was downstairs fondling the landlady? You seriously cannot get better than this. Then again, maybe you can. Throw an earthquake into the mix, and we have the perfect AutoCorrect mistake.
9 You Are Doing What?
So, to get a better sense of this AutoCorrect mistake, it would have been better if we knew who these people were. If they were just a couple of child traffickers, this would have been a whole lot easier for everybody. Well, not for the kids who were being auctioned, but you get what we meant. Now, let’s just picture another scenario. One in which the person who sent the first text is the mom of one of the kids, and Alison is a teacher responsible for putting together the school plays.
For Alison, there is no winning. Every correction she tried to make was just AutoCorrected to something worse. If you are the mom, knowing that the teacher is getting ready to auction your kid cannot be something easy to swallow. But it sure as hell is not as bad as learning about how the teacher is suctioning kids. More than that, you have to wonder what the hell would be a “ridiculous auto cat rectal.”
8 Man Boobs
Monday is by far the hardest day of the week for everyone. It is just that one day in which you realize that you have an entire week ahead of you—a week full of work and no play. A week that you’re going to have to power through just to get to the next weekend, so you can catch a little break before the hell starts all over again in seven more days. But then again, there are some people who have more problems with Mondays than the vast majority of society. A perfect example of that are the people who, on Mondays, are not only worried about all the work they’re going to have to do during the week. They are also worried because Monday’s are the day in which they get the worst case of the man boobs.
Either way, that is not something you should say when someone simply asked you how your day was going. Too much information, bro.
7 A Call
So, we just got a flashback to Mr. Lewis. Remember him? The teacher who told the mother that their parent-teacher conference would be more unusual than your average parent-teacher conference. Just imagine if instead of AutoCorrect changing whatever he said in that text to f***, AutoCorrect decided to take a larger leap forward and altered his phrase to the exact thing you see on this entry.
We are sure that Connie, Tyler’s mom, was already terrified by what she saw on her phone after simply asking the teacher if their conference was still going to happen. But imagine how outraged she would be if Mr. Lewis’ AutoCorrect had been as specific with her as it was with this poor person.
Now, we don’t know what the call he or she was setting up with the person who took this screenshot was all about, but judging by the reaction, we can safely assume it was nothing pertaining to what AutoCorrect thought was going down.
What is it with AutoCorrect and telling folks that their friends are sending them pictures of their p*nises? This is the second time we come across something like this. So, one cannot help but imagine that this is somewhat a common occurrence. If you have run across one of these hilarious d*ck pick AutoCorrect mistakes, please let us know in the comments so we can add them to a future post. Because, after all, there are never too many hilarious AutoCorrect mistakes. But, let’s get back to the topic at hand.
This seems to be another person who was just trying to present their new dog to a friend but instead ended up being embarrassed by a mistake AutoCorrect made. But then again, Loryn’s reaction is also something that picked our attention. Sure, everyone would laugh at that AutoCorrect mistake, but the ;p at the end of the final text sure left a lot to the imagination of everyone who later saw the screenshot.
5 Hell Yeah
If you are a son or daughter who wants to do something your mom is probably going to say no to, this is how you get it done. Seriously, this is such a genius move that we feel outraged that we haven’t thought about it before. You want permission to do something your mom doesn’t want you to do? Just go up to her phone and mess with her AutoCorrect. Most specifically, make sure her AutoCorrect always corrects the word “no” to “yes.”
Moreover, you can turn around and be legendary like our friend Bex over there was. Just change no‘no’ to ‘hell yeah.’ Now, this is going to bring it out strong reactions from both sides of the issue. We cannot imagine a situation in which this daughter did not start rolling on the floor laughing when putting her plan in motion. On the other hand, can you even fathom the desperation of this mother when she was ultimately unable to say no to anything her daughter asked?
4 That’s Just Messed Up
There are a few things that no one should do via text. Of the top of our heads, we can name things like breaking up with someone and telling a family member that someone in the family has passed away. But another thing that we must add to our list after running across this particular AutoCorrect mistake is telling your son or daughter that their sibling was adopted.
How messed up was that? Just imagine how desperate this kid was when he read this text. This is one of those moments in which a person stops thinking about anything else and simply starts sweating cold and maybe even shaking in their seat. If he had friends around, they probably asked him what was wrong, and his only answer was, “my mom just told me my brother was adopted (via text).”
This is messed up to a whole new level. Fortunately, the misunderstanding was quickly cleared up before this guy had a heart attack. Or maybe he did, having a brother accepted to Yale is quite the significant happening as well. Not as big as him being adopted, but still big.
So, this is pretty much the equivalent of the AutoCorrect mistakes we found of guys who texted their buddies that they sent them a picture of their p*nis. If you are one of these people who actually did something like this, if people like this even exist, you need to control yourself, buddy. There is no faster way to lose a friend than sending them a picture of your junk out of the blue. This might not be quite the equivalent, but this kind of is the lady side of things.
Sure, she claimed this was an AutoCorrect mistake, but we all know the truth. Alcohol just takes people’s inhibitions away. And who knows, maybe this lady really was attracted to her friend, and somehow her subconscious (or her AutoCorrect) knew that she was just one beer away from showing that friend the real feelings she had for her. Then again, this could just be us reading too much into it.
First of all, let’s just establish that there is nothing less gangsta than texting the lyrics of Gangsta’s Paradise to a friend. Seriously, you can record audio on your phone now and send it via text. Just do the thing right.
All kidding aside, this is one of the few times in which AutoCorrect made an embarrassing mistake, but it was a mistake that ended up making everything better. We all know the lyrics to the timeless song “Gangsta’s Paradise.” But did you know about the tiny rodent equivalent of the Gangsta’s Paradise? We are talking about the Hamsta’s Paradise.
Now, most of us think of hamsters as those furry little things people keep in cages and somehow always seem to have the energy to run around inside a wheel that goes nowhere. You might think that hamsters are stupid and that their lives are just a meaningless cycle, but you just think that because you never met a real hamsta.
1 Watching The Game
It doesn’t matter what sport we are talking about. There are four things you need in order to successfully watch a game with your friends. Those four things are a jersey of your team, some chicken wings, some beer, and some hermaphrodites. What was that? You don’t need hermaphrodites to watch a football game? Actually yeah, that kind of makes some sense.
The only problem was that it apparently didn’t make so much sense for the AutoCorrect of this guy, who was supposed to bring beer to their game-watching party. Just put yourself in the friend’s position and picture one of your buddies texting you that he was bringing some hermaphrodites over to the party when all you asked him to get were some beers. There would probably be a lot of questions percolating inside of your head, but the guy in question here just did not seem into the idea at all. We don’t know if he has anything against hermaphrodites, but the one thing we can be sure of is that he would probably be okay with just having the beers over.