20 Brutally Honest (And Gross) Confessions From Waiters

Going out to eat is a luxury... and also a risk. Of course, we know that anytime we do not prepare our meals ourselves, we take the chance that the people who prepare and serve our food might have less hygienic (and moral) standards than we would feel comfortable with. The risk of eating something not fit for dignified consumption has the chance to increase if say, your waiter or waitress had a terrible day. We all have bad days but those in the food service industry know about human behavior on an extra level. They see the worst of the worst and get treated like personal servants by some while likely making minimum wage. Their income highly depends on tips. If they see from your actions that they're probably not going to get a nice tip, where's the motivation to serve with a smile? Some food servers take things up a notch. If your food server is in a bad mood already and you happen to send the food back because it wasn't to your specific liking, we would fear that the chances your food was remade in pristine conditions are less than stellar. Bottom line: be kind to your food server. Although, after reading this article of food server confessions, you may never eat out again.

If it just so happens that you're reading this while at an eatery, you've gotta ask yourself a question... "do I feel lucky?" Well, do ya, punk?

20 Friar Tuck Sends Tourists Home With Photos Of His Junk On Their Plates

This story might take the proverbial rotating three-day old piece of chocolate cake. On the MTL blog, a user posted a vintage story with so much cringe that it feels like time has stood still. "My dad always tells this story about working with his buddy in a novelty restaurant in the 80's where all the servers dressed up like Disney characters and took pictures with the customers. My dad's friend worked as a waiter dressed as Friar Tuck. He got sick of his job and devised a plan; because this was before digital cameras, tourists typically had to wait until the end of their vacation to get their film developed. Whenever a family was particularly obnoxious, he would offer to take their camera to the kitchen because... all of the chefs were in costume too. (Not really.) He'd snap a few shots of his junk on their food and bring the camera back to them." Friar Tuck, for shame! Imagine the look of horror on the faces of the still sunburnt tourists after they picked up their developed photos at the drugstore.

19 Waiter Sneezes Into Meal And Serves It Anyway

On a popular blog, one waiter confessed, "As a waiter, I was bringing food to the customers. I accidentally sneezed but I was so afraid to ask the chefs to redo the dish, so I just gave it to the customer..."

This is exactly what many people fear the most while dining out. Why? Because while there are those instances of food servers who have malicious intent in the name of revenge when it comes to your meal, sneezing is a different story. It's just a natural human occurrence. And as this shy sneezer said, it was an accident. Of course, that doesn't make it okay to serve the sneezed upon meal. We can only hope that the majority of food servers out there are not timid about approaching chefs to remake meals that were sneezed on.

18 Waitress Personally Double-Dips In The Dessert

A former bakery worker named Kathy Kniss confessed a naughty secret that she hid in her apron pocket. "When I was at one bakery restaurant, they used to make this really yummy peach cobbler in a big tray," Kathy said. "A lot of times, servers don't have time to eat. So we all kept a fork in our aprons, and as we cruised through the kitchen, we'd stick our fork in the cobbler and take a bite. We'd use the same fork each time." This cross-contamination nightmare is anything but peachy keen. It's pretty disturbing that Kathy was not alone in this and it seems that everyone in the bakery was in on the peach cobbler crime as if it's no big deal to serve a fresh fruit pastry dessert that's been snacked on by several food servers all day. This takes double-dipping to a new and very gross level.

17 Restaurant Staff "Relieve" Bad Tipper Of His Expensive Watch

This is a story of lost and found but not by the right person, depending on how you see things. A waitress posted anonymously on a blog about a repeat customer who frequented the restaurant and bar where she worked. "He would order ridiculous drinks from the bar and not tip the bartender (and frequently insist that our bartender with twelve years experience made his drink incorrectly), abuse waitstaff and order off the menu," is what the waitress said of just some of the patron's offenses. One night, the server found the man's expensive watch at his table. Instead of holding on to it until the next time he came in to verbally abuse the staff, the watch was sold on eBay and the profits were used to make up for the non-existent tip the man left. After a bidding war resulted in over five hundred dollars, it turned out to be sweetest tip the man never left.

16 Food Server Gives Loud Kid His First Taste Of Vodka

A waitress named Emily who works at a restaurant that has a built-in bar took to a forum to confess something pretty heinous. “I hate serving kids under five," she wrote. "Children are pretty much the worst thing to ever happen to career servers. This is probably not only the worst thing I’ve done in my career, it’s also the worst thing I’ve ever done in my life. I (very lightly) spiked one of the kids’ sprites. I just threw in the tiniest bit of vodka, because it’s odorless. The kid was fine, but definitely got quieter, and I’m sure he slept the whole car ride home. To be honest, I’m ninety percent sure I did those parents a favor.” It's not much comfort that Emily feels ninety percent sure she did a good thing by serving a kindergartener vodka... even if it was the "tiniest bit."

15 Spitting Contest In The Back Of The Kitchen

We should properly prepare you for this one due to its highly disturbing nature. If you are a fan of any kind of chowder or soup in general, keep scrolling because this confession has the potential to ruin your chowder appetite for life. On a forum, one former food server unburdened his conscience by writing, “As a former waiter, I have one piece of advice: If you’re going to be a (jerk) to your server, never order chowder. Because your waiter and three cooks might have a loogie-hawking contest into your bowl before they ladle the soup in.” But then again, according to this former waiter, if you're nice to your food servers, you won't have any problems receiving a bowl of chowder a la phlegm. Still, it's just horrible to know that this actually happened to someone.

14 Bitter Buddy Serves Friends Spit On Food Since He Couldn't Watch The Big Game With Them

Apparently, spit is thicker than friendship. A bartender/waiter known online only as Sam confessed the following. “I was working at a sports bar, and a group of my friends came in to drink and watch the game. It’s really annoying when all of your friends can just kick back and watch football, and you have to be waiting on them. It made me feel like I wasn’t part of the group, I was just the waiter. I’m not particularly proud of this, but I spit in their food. And then instead of wrapping up their leftovers, I told them I couldn’t, and let the staff eat the (non-spit-on) food.” Sam is not winning any humanitarian awards anytime soon. Instead of being happy that he is employed during these trying times and excited that his friends came to see him, he displayed the green-eyed monster called jealousy by contaminating their food for no reason other than sheer bitter pettiness. With friends like spitting Sam, these guys don't need enemies.

13 Your Affair Is So Obvious To Food Servers

A waitress named Caroline Radaj from an exclusive members-only dining club outside of Milwaukee came right out and told Reader's Digest, "When you're with the woman who's not your wife, you're a lot nicer to us, probably because you know that we know it's not your wife." While you unfaithful significant others out there might just shrug your shoulders not caring that waitresses can tell when you're cheating, don't get too comfortable just yet. An anonymous waitress confessed that she's been in the food service industry so long that she also can immediately tell when a man has brought a lady on the side in for a side dish and if she and her waitress friends are fresh from a particularly bad break-up, especially if they were cheated on, the unfaithful customer is likely to get a secret smackdown in the form of a saliva topping, bread that's been dropped on the floor and extra charges on the bill which honestly seems like the nicest offense of the three options.

12 When You Complain, Cooks Play Soccer...With Your Dinner

On an anonymous forum, one former food server quickly summed up the worst of the absolute worst things he had seen during his time in the food service industry. "Cooks taking food that got sent back multiple times, playing soccer with the food items on the floor, and then putting it back on the plate. Cooks spitting in food. Bartenders not putting alcohol in drinks for (jerk) customers." We bet after reading this, you have the sudden urge to be Pollyanna polite to every waiter, waitress, bartender, hostess and maître d' you come across and never complain about that undercooked pasta again. That or never eat out which sounds like a pretty good deal right now especially since it seems as though for this former food server, seeing nasty things come in contact with food was not an uncommon sight.

11 Never Order Water With A Lemon Wedge

Especially on hot days, who doesn't love ordering a tall glass of ice water with lemon wedges added for natural flavor? And why not? Drinking lemon water has been proven to help aid in digestion, speed up weight loss and can even help improve your skin. But there's a very dirty citric secret that restaurants are keeping from us about their fruity water flavorers. A waitress from Kansas City named Charity Ohlund confessed to Reader's Digest: "Now that I've worked in a restaurant, I never ask for lemon in a drink. Everybody touches them. Nobody washes them. We just peel the stickers off, cut them up, and throw them in your iced tea." Talk about leaving a sour taste in your mouth. I think we all knew there was a chance of that happening especially in the busier restaurants but it's something we prefer not to think of when we're thirsty and see the waitress carrying a refreshing drink filled with lemon wedges and ice cubes our way.

10 Waitress Rips Customers Off By Stealing Fries

Allow us to set the scene. You're seated at a table in a bustling restaurant and are so hungry you're getting stares from the next table thanks to your rumbling empty tummy. You see the waitress headed your way and don't want to get your hopes up in case she's bringing food for the table next to yours but then she stops right in front of you. Hallelujah! You can practically feel your taste buds start to dance the macarena in anticipation of your delicious meal. She sets your plate in front of you and walks away. Should be heaven, right? But... something just looks off. You don't want to be petty and now certainly isn't the time to point out inconsistencies as hungry as you are but shouldn't there be more fries than that? Don't worry if this thought has crossed your mind. Chances are that you're not being greedy or paranoid. One waitress confessed, "I totally knock some fries off of your plate before I bring them to your table so that I can eat them when I get back to my section." Steals the meal and expects a tip? Pretty brutal.

9 Waiter Never Washes His Hands After Using The Restroom

Most of us prefer our food prepared and served with superb hygiene practices but there are those people (you know who you are) who have extra issues with food. Some people won't accept gifts like homemade cookies or cakes from people they know (or just toss them) because they weren't baked in a professional environment. Similarly, some people won't eat a homemade meal at a friend's house because they imagine scenarios like their friend licking the pasta sauce from the spoon and putting it back in the pot to stir with. We can probably all agree that these examples are a bit extreme but everyone should be on the same page when it comes to wanting your food server to wash their hands after using the restroom. "I never wash my hands after I pee," one waiter confessed anonymously on a blog. Even though he isn't preparing the food, cross contamination is one hundred percent possible through serving it which is one hundred percent wrong.

8 A Waiter And Cook Team Up To Serve A Special "Karma Meal" To A Mean Customer

One uncomfortable situation our friends and family members can put us in is being rude to food servers. While trying to enjoy a meal together along with some quality time, there's nothing like inconsiderate behavior to spoil the atmosphere. An anonymous chef and waiter had enough of one diner's attitude and teamed up to serve her some nasty fresh karma. "The mother was belligerent, rude and demanding (but her son was being nice). They ordered their food. Waiter wipes a thin but healthy booger on the bottom of the mother's meal, scrapes some gunk from the table onto it, spit into the mashed potatoes and mixes it in with a few hairs. He grins to himself as he hands the "karma meal" to the mom and the "clean meal" to the son and says 'enjoy.'" This would have been a perfect scene in the movie Waiting but sadly, the story goes on. It turns out that when the waiter checked on the mother and son, they had switched plates! And to make matters worse, the son tipped big to make up for his mother's bad behavior.

7 Nail Clippings As A Salad Topping For One Inconsiderate Diner

An anonymous user on a women's health site shared the following confession about her co-worker, a fellow waitress. “I never would have done this, but a waitress I work with did and it was amazing. A lady she was serving was being really rude. When my friend brought her salad out, she had a complaint about the order being wrong and sent it back. For what it's worth, my friend insists she had the order right. My friend took the salad back, and while it was being made, she cut her nails. Then she cut the clippings into tiny pieces and tossed them in the salad. It was an oriental salad with slivered almonds or something like that, so it wasn’t noticeable at all.” Ugh. Maybe it wasn't noticeable with the naked eye but what about chewable? Nails don't taste or have the same texture as slivered almonds. The really gross part about this is thinking of the germ factor. Whatever germs had been harboring under the waitress' nails were then in the rude customer's stomach assuming she didn't notice the difference between an almond and a human fingernail. Who deserves that kind of punishment?

6 "If You Think We Hate You, We Do"

Did you ever have the feeling that someone was talking about you behind your back? If your cheeks start burning while you're out to eat and your food server is nowhere in sight, they just might be in the kitchen confirming your fears by telling everyone within earshot about the obnoxious way you just had to double and triple check that there wouldn't be peppers on your salad or the way you asked for lemon for your water but on the side. One waiter confessed, "I'm a server and yes, we talk (smack) about you when we go back to the kitchen. If you think we hate you, we do." Ouch. We always know it's a possibility when we see our food server smiling a little too forcefully when we change our order for the third time but it's not nice to have the hatred confirmed. Words hurt.

5 Not Tipping Isn't A Good Idea For Repeat Customers

Typically speaking, stiffing a food server is not a good idea. Not only is it rude but the bad karma points will just add up, waiting for that perfect payback moment. Repeatedly stiffing a waitress at a place where you're known as a regular... well, that's just plain dumb. A waitress posted this doozy on a blog. "He was an older guy and was just a creep. He would order the same thing every time and if it wasn't perfect he would go off. Not a single waitress ever received a tip from him, not matter how kind, helpful, or sweet. But one day he refused to pay. That money came out of my paycheck and that was when I decided to get even. I grabbed a butter knife and started scraping the floor under the sink and got him his margarine. He didn't say a word about it." Or he had no idea at all...

4 Pro Tip: Don't Visit The Restaurant Where Your Ex Works Or Your Meal Might Get Extra Attention

Breaking up is hard to do. But it's all kinds of painful if the break-up is due to cheating. If you have cheated on someone, there is a list of businesses you should never bless with your patronage if the person you cheated on happens to work there. The list includes a dentist office, a brake pad shop and of course, a restaurant. "My manager's (at a restaurant that will remain anonymous) ex-girlfriend (who cheated on him) came in to order food. She ordered a sandwich with dressing and your usual stuff in it. Well, let's just say that the dressing had "extra special sauce" and the sandwich accidentally fell on the floor a few times. The most disgusting part was when she said to the waitress who didn't know, that "this sandwich tastes a bit funny, I think it needs more dressing." I almost threw up. Don't judge me, I didn't do it!" Sweet, disgusting revenge.

3 If You Get Hammered At Dinner, You Might Get Nailed With An Extra Charge

You're out with the boys, primed for a night on the town. After a full evening of sowing wild oats or painting the town red or whatever it is you boys do when you're out, you head over to a restaurant to grab a bite and end things on a high note but most of you are still feeling pretty rowdy from the assistance of your potent pals, Jack, Samuel and Jim. If you and your boys aren't on your best behavior in front of the waitress, no big deal, right? She's probably used to people acting a little wild. So what if you're not using your indoor voices and your manners maybe took the night off? Well, one waitress confessed that she doesn't believe in the old phrase, boys will be boys. "If the drunk ones are (jerks)," she said. "I charge them extra on their ticket because... well, they won't notice until it's too late anyway." So keep drinking and acting wild, guys, and waitresses like her will keep laughing all the way to the bank.

2 The Waiter That Almost Received A Felony After Secretly Giving Peanut Sauce To An Annoying (And Very Allergic) Customer

This is actually a confession from a cop but it has to do with a waiter's gross confession. The cop posted on the MTL blog: "Not a waiter, rather I'm a cop. Just wanted to mention that messing with someone's food can be really dangerous. You can be arrested for that (stuff). I went to a call once where a customer had been a (jerk) to a waiter all night, so the waiter tries to be a smart *ss and coats the dude's burger in every sauce the place has. Little did he know, the customer was allergic to peanuts contained in one of the sauces. One bite later, customer is in the back of an ambulance. Waiter came clean with me (there was video anyway), and we arrested him for a felony (later pled to a misdemeanor but still cost him his job and clean record.) Sad thing is, the waiter was really nice, and the customer really was an *ss! The waiter had just had enough." Food servers put up with a lot of junk from people. But mentally snapping is never the answer and usually ends up hurting the one who snapped more than the target.

1 Complaining Patron Gets Minced Garlic From A Nose-Picking Waitress

The boogie lady is even worse than the boogie man you used to be afraid of when you were a little kid. This is because unlike the boogie man, the boogie lady is real and could be working at a restaurant near you. The boogie lady who for good reason wished to remain anonymous posted this gross confession on a blog. “I once had a nightmare customer," she wrote. "A lady who kept complaining about every single little thing. When I brought her meal, she complained about how long it took, then insisted that she had asked for a little bit of minced garlic on the side. I went back to the kitchen to get her a tiny dressing cup of minced garlic, and I put a booger in it.” Hopefully, this lady was picky (get it?) enough to inspect the minced garlic carefully before using it.

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