For every decent and psychologically sound girl you date, there are others who have some sort of major malfunction in their cerebral cortex, so to speak. They’re insane in the membrane and embody the saying, “Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.” Or perhaps you don’t even need the “scorned” part of the saying. Coming across these psychos is enough for some men to give up on dating altogether.
But not all girls are like this. Normal people simply break up and move on when a relationship isn’t working rather than attempt continuing an unhealthy, obsessive, desperate or codependent relationship with their object of affection. Also, there are normally sane women who end up doing things they don’t usually do because of the sickness called love. What’s more, while the dark side of masculinity is violence and insensitivity, the dark side of femininity is emotional and psychological manipulation as well as outright shaming or guilt-tripping. As disgraced comedian Louis C.K. said, “Boys [mess] things up, girls are [messed] up.” Of course, you can take Louis’ hot take on the genders with a grain of salt in light of his own actions and way of thinking.
Generalizations aside, a psycho girlfriend who might be too into you can end up playing you like a puppet on strings or a fiddle unless you become aware of the mind games she plays. Open your eyes and realize the truth. Check out these 15 psychological tricks they’re probably using to trap you.
16. They Pretend To Be Pregnant
This one’s a classic. After successfully wooing a girl so that you two become an item, it’s only natural that intimacy happens. It’s all about the birds and the bees, plus the taboos of premarital intimacy have been lifted from modern society in favor of protection, contraception, and education.
Lots of intimacy carries higher chances of pregnancies, depending on what methods of protection you use. Regardless, there are times when girls use fake claims of pregnancy to salvage a relationship that’s going south. She can also use the pregnancy scare to make you kowtow to her, since you don’t want to anger the mother of your child, only to claim she had a false positive later on. Things can get even worse if the girl gets pregnant for real by another dude then claims you’re the father.
15. They Accuse You Of Being Gay
Homophobia claims aside by those in the gay community who are insulted by men who feel insulted for being called gay, one of the ways a girl can mess with the head of her boyfriend is to call him gay. To call him gay is equivalent to calling him someone who’s not a real (straight) man, which is one of the greatest insults to men because it implies he can’t satisfy a woman because he’s more interested in men than women. It’s humiliating, in other words. Yes, of course gay men are masculine in their own right (manhood shouldn’t be defined by who you are with). However, having a girl question the romantic preferences of her man can really mess him up because she’s implying he’s somehow inadequate at being a good partner, thus the insult against gay people becomes a politically incorrect insult to a man’s sense of (traditional) manhood.
14. They Manipulate You Into Telling A Dark Secret (To Blackmail You Later)
Everyone has secrets they’re ashamed of. Everyone has some sort of skeleton in their closet. It can be petty, tragic or really dark. Maybe you’ve stolen something or have kleptomaniac tendencies. Maybe you’ve had a pet pass away on your watch or even accidentally hurt the poor animal. Maybe you were a driver under the influence and got into a tragic accident. Maybe you’ve failed to save a sick loved one and feel guilty about it. Maybe you have a kid from another girl and you’ve been running away from her ever since to avoid your alimony responsibilities. It could be any number of dark secrets that you told to your girl in confidence because you trust her, only for her to use the information for her own benefit. This psychological trick is usually paired up with her calling you gay (to call into question your masculinity) and crushing your self-esteem with painfully real insults from someone who knows you best.
13. They Intentionally Make You Jealous
Whenever your insecure girlfriend feels like you’re not paying enough attention to her or you’re taking her for granted, then she’ll do things to make you jealous. She might flirt with other guys or if she isn’t the flirty type, compare you to them. She’ll say this or that guy in the neighborhood or from her office is more of a gentleman than you are. Why aren’t you more like him?
She’ll do most anything just short of cheating on you. That’s because if she really is cheating on you, she will usually keep it on the down-low while being extra sweet to you so that you won’t suspect her of wrongdoing. If she is being blatant with her actions, it’s usually a call for attention. What’s worse is that when you continue to ignore her attempts at getting attention, she might get angry enough to actually cheat on you.
12. They Act Like They’re Not Interested To Make You Do The Chase
Many girls are taught from childhood that they should play hard to get sometimes in order to make a boy chase them. This old chestnut remains true to this day, even in the millennial age of progressive attitudes and women’s liberation. This is why overeager girls who are too into their boyfriends are called “thirsty” by today’s youth to chide them for their actions.
In today’s society where a lady is still supposed to be chased (and chaste), there are men who are turned off by girls who instead chase after them even though it’s already the 21st century and gender role reversals are at full swing. Some girls use this mind trick to full effect, and some men don’t mind when they do so even if they’re aware of what they’re doing. These girls are going to pretend they don’t like you so that you chase after them instead and they don’t end up looking “thirsty.”
11. They Pretend To Be Sensitive And Vulnerable
A girl who’s actually sensitive and vulnerable can be quite charming to a man because her helplessness triggers the protector inside of him. Maybe it’s Hollywood propaganda or the culturally ingrained motifs of the White Knight and the Damsel in Distress, but there’s something about helpless women in need of help (whether they’re daughters, nieces, grannies or spouses) that makes men automatically defend them or come to their aid. It’s also common on the internet for White Knights to protect online users who claim to be girls against trolls or critics even though they’d never do the same thing to helpless “n00bs” or novices that are male or whose gender is unknown. There are girls who manipulate this tendency by pretending to be vulnerable and sensitive for their own gain, especially with their boyfriends. As a man, you shouldn’t let your inner protector override your common sense, especially when you’re being played by your woman by using this instinct against you.
10. They Crush Your Self-Esteem By Saying Hurtful Things
Saying hurtful things to loved ones is unfortunately common even in the healthiest of relationships. After all, we’re all just human whether we’re male or female (or insert LGBTQ gender/identity here). Familiarity breeds contempt, and couples will lash out with the most hurtful of things exactly because they know each other so well and it’s most painful to hear such things from the ones you care about the most.
Words hurt the most from the people we love (or hate, which is closely tied to love). Manipulative, crazy girlfriends unfortunately use these words laced with half-truths, lies, insecurities and secrets they’ve gathered from you as ammunition in order to make you do exactly what they want. Don’t let yourself get kowtowed by a bullying spouse or partner. It’s not worth it, especially if there are ulterior motives behind their insults.
9. They Play The Victim Game
Many a boyfriend or husband is familiar with this mind game of sorts. Your girlfriend or wife is telling you about her day. The first mistake you can do when she does this is to offer solutions to her problems. No, don’t do that. She wants a guy who’ll listen to her while she lets off some steam rather than get answers from him as though she can’t come up with a solution to her dilemmas herself. With that said, when things get heated as she lists down or enumerates her problems of the day, she might end up angry with you if you fail to empathize with her problems and instead state what she can do to “solve” them. This then leads to her blaming you for her problems even if you have nothing to do with them. Avoid this by talking less and listening more. Listen and believe.
8. They Leave You For Someone Else Only To Come Back And Do It Again
Some girls play “hard to get” to the extreme, and they can be quite exasperating to deal with. Have you ever had an ex-girlfriend or ex-wife that keeps popping up when you least expect her (or you least want her to)? She always ends up hooking up with you for a while until she breaks up with you in order to get with some other guy, only to come back later and hook up with you again. Rinse, repeat.
It should be abundantly clear to you that she’s only using you as her safety net every time her other “better” relationships don’t work out. However, she’ll always leave you whenever she feels like she can do better with some other, more handsome son of a gun. Whenever you’re dealing with this kind of girlfriend, it’s best to break it off because you deserve better than being her backup plan.
7. They Make Scary Threats
Like in the case of pretending she’s sick or pretending she’s pregnant, threatening to harm herself is one way for a (crazy ex-)girlfriend to manipulate you to do exactly what she wants. It’s an emotionally manipulative way for a girlfriend to force her boyfriend to dance to the tune she’s singing.
Some rather psychotic women have successfully used the self-harm card to force a boyfriend to marry them or dump another girl for them. He’ll do things he normally wouldn’t just to prevent the girl from ending her life (so he’s essentially saving her life). This card can also get her out of trouble in case you two end up in an argument and she’s totally at fault. No self-respecting man would ever want to drive a woman to such an act. Things can get even worse with girls who are genuinely self-harming yet still intentionally use their feelings to manipulate you, thus leaving you torn between being angry at her for manipulating you and concerned about her well-being.
6. They Say They Love You But Never Mean It
Men also need affirmation or reassurance from the girl he’s with to prove she’s into him, and one of the most straightforward ways to get this is through her saying that she loves him. Naturally, saying those three words of “I love you” can lose meaning when said too many times. But when said enough times and at the right times, their impact is undoubtedly tremendous. This is why it’s dismaying when scheming and controlling women use those three special words to get what they want or to make you react the way they want. Like making you buy her gifts or do some sort of errand for her. This naturally cheapens the impact of their sweet words of affection since there’s a hidden agenda behind it.
If a girl says she loves you and you have no immediate obvious romantic context for it, then you should take her words with a grain of salt. These meaningful words shouldn’t be used lightly, after all.
5. They Isolate You From Everyone Else By Saying Nobody Else Loves You
This is an especially evil psychological trick that’s downright psychotic for a girl to do. No loving or worthwhile girlfriend would resort to this. What’s more, with the gender roles reversed, many a creepy man has also done this to his object of affection in order to “win” her over. It’s not something to be emulated, for sure. A manipulative schemer of a girlfriend can compel your friends and family to side with her and from there she can isolate you from making any new friends and connections from the “outside world” in order for you to focus all your attention and affection on her and her alone. This insidious yet highly effective way to secure your loyalty to her (until she has no use for you anymore) should be a red flag for you to break up with her post-haste.
4. They Make Your Family And Friends Love Them So They’ll Turn On You
The funny thing about this particular psychological trick is that in some other article for girls, this would normally be a valid method for a girl to bag a guy and make him commit to her. It doesn’t even sound that bad until the part where your family and friends turn on you. Of course you want your family and friends to love your girlfriend! Of course you want your girlfriend to, in turn, love your family and friends! One of the nightmare scenarios for many engaged couples is to end up having in-laws and friends of their significant other hate them. However, there are certain manipulative girls who, in turn, end up entrenching themselves so closely with their boyfriends’ friends and family that they take advantage of their good will and manipulate their boyfriend through them. These psychos are so vile yet charming that they essentially “steal” your family and friends from you, like pulling the rug from under you.
3. They Make A Deal With You When You’re Exhausted (You’ll Be More Likely To Give In To Their Demands)
This is a particularly infuriating psychological trick that’s at least avoidable if you’re aware of what your girl is doing. What’s more, even the sweetest and least manipulative of girls who aren’t insane might try and use this real-life Jedi mind trick of sorts to get what they want since it’s so simple to do. It centers on you being too exhausted to resist her after a hard day at work, so you’re likelier to agree with her to go see one of the sappiest chick flicks around, go shopping with her (ugh), drive her to work, etc. You know you lack the willpower to resist her and you’re too tired to get into an argument about it, so you better be aware of her intentions when she’s trying this trick out on you.
2. They Tell You You’re The Only One They Have Left
Don’t believe her lies. This is yet another psychological Jedi mind trick that’s cut from the same cloth as pretending she’s sick, pregnant or about to hurt herself in order to gain your sympathy and attention. It’s also reminiscent of her isolating you from everyone else and claiming nobody else loves you, but this time around it’s in reverse and she’s attempting to elicit a response from the White Knight within you by saying she’s the one who’s isolated.
Once she has successfully wrapped you around her pinky finger using the above mentioned techniques, she can pretend to be vulnerable and tell you you’re the only one she has left so that you’ll cling to her for dear life and have an unhealthy co-dependent relationship with her where you excessively depend on her for affirmation of your manhood, your desires and your need for love.
Usually, she pulls this card once she has successfully isolated you from friends and family and/or has convinced them to side with her, thus making her entreaty that you’re the only one she has left even more effective since in turn, she’s the only one you have left.
1. They Pretend To Be Really Sick
A subtler way for a girl to mess with you that isn’t as drastic as claiming she’s pregnant with your kid is claiming she’s really sick. No, it’s not just her pretending to have a headache when you ask her for some time alone because she’s not in the mood. There are times when girls, especially the insecure ones, pretend to be sick in order to get your attention. Actually, pretending to be sick is kind of a girl’s “get out of jail free” card of sorts. Like a kid playing hooky, she might pretend to be sick in order to avoid her responsibilities or keep you from reprimanding her when she does something bad. She can also make you do what she wants by feigning sickness.
There’s something about a vulnerable girl or “Damsel in Distress” that triggers the inner White Knight of many a boyfriend (or even guys who aren’t her boyfriend; just ask the internet).
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