Affairs at work are nothing new, but more women are having office affairs than in the past. Why's that? We live in a society that's preoccupied with 'the deed', and our thoughts don't end at the office door. As long as we have a fascination about affairs and the commercialization of intimacy in the media, we can expect to continue to have "it" in the office. Also, there are more women in the work force than ever before, and working professionals spend an average of 52.5 hours per week on the job.
Of course, it's not just the excess amount of time that women spend at work. More and more women are traveling in conjunction with their jobs. These business trips can expand close relationships with men outside of the typical work environment. Since women are more likely to associate feelings of closeness with s*xual feelings, these friendships provide a fertile ground for eventually becoming intimate relationships and developing into office affairs.
The risks of having affairs are much greater for women. Even if a woman's co-workers don't bring any moral judgement to her actions, they're likely assuming that she's not really serious about her career. There's also a chance that her co-workers will have concerns about being distracted by her affair. In addition, there's also a risk that she'll struggle to concentrate on her work. When an affair ends, or if it becomes a problem in the office, it's the woman who's likely to lose her job, and even if she's able to keep it, her colleagues will probably lower their opinion of her as a worker.
Here are 15 women who confessed to their steamy office love affairs.
15 Married And Frustrated In Bed
A Reddit user admitted she has been having an affair with a married man due to frustration between the sheets. She has been faithful to her husband for 15 years, but he apparently lost all interest in s*x. She locked herself in a bathroom and cried for an hour before creating a profile on Ashley Madison.
The user added, "At this point, I wasn't really looking for anything but suddenly I got a message from another member who sparked my interest. We actually chatted for a couple of weeks on and off before we met up. When I saw him, I knew I wanted him. He was perfect and in the exact same situation as me. His wife pretty much told him that she had no interest in s*x."
The pair hit it off and agreed to keep it strictly "intimate". They met once a week at different hotels or in his office after work hours. The s*x was amazing. Although they could've easily fallen in love and ran off together, neither of them wanted to tear their families apart.
14 Not So Secret
A Reddit user said, "I met my MM at work... When we met, we were sitting in a conference room together for a week at a work event.. Followed by dinners and drinks with our coworkers every night. We slept together almost immediately. Everyone saw the chemistry. The way we sat next to each other, bodies nearly touching. The way we stared at each other from across the room. Even snuck a few inappropriate touches here and there, some of which were noticed."
It's no wonder people asked the pair if they actually did it because they played it off as a silly work crush, but people still had it in the back of their heads. Even the woman's boss knows, but he doesn't know the extent of it.
Obviously, there's a lot of risks to have an office affair, especially when a pair isn't great at covering it up. They can sneak around hotels together and make excuses to avoid plans with co-workers, but it could blow up regardless. Also, the user wrote, "I want a future with mine long-term." Well then!
13 Yeah, He's Engaged
A Reddit user confessed, "I had an affair with a man at my workplace. I wasn't in a relationship but he was engaged. I did my best to stay clear of him the few days we were at the office at the same time. Tried not to part take in activities outside of office hours where there would be a few of us. Then came the office Christmas party. I talked to my closest colleagues, but he kept showing up. Wooed me. Invited himself to my place. I had stayed clear of him, knowing if I was put in the situation, he was someone I wouldn't be able to say no to. When I asked, he kept implying his relationship was on the rocks. A convenience. But as they had a kid together and still were friendly, he stayed."
Turns out, the man's fiancée found out twice. He tried to make it seem like the other girl was responsible. However, the user wasn't taking responsibility for his relationship, apart from her actions, and asked him to keep her posted. When she started hearing rumors that they were getting married and having a second child, she immediately broke it off. He still tries to sleep with her, but she has been saying "no" since that day.
12 Moving Too Fast
A Reddit user described a moment in the past, where she seemed to be confused. She wrote, "We were basically roommates. I don't know why I didn't leave, but I should have. I had no confidence, I thought I was too old (severely skewed image, most of my college friends were married). I don't think I loved him anymore, but there was a time when I had. He told me no one else would put up with me. I genuinely thought no one else would want me."
The user revealed, "At a weekend away, a work event, I realized several hours into drinks with colleagues that one of the men was flirting with me. I can't even describe how floored I was. Someone desired me. Someone attractive and charming. We went back to my hotel room and you know where this story goes." As expected, she went home after the weekend and was aware what she did was awful.
11 The Other Woman
What started out as a business trip fling turned into an on-and-off affair that lasted for three years.
A Reddit user disclosed, "A few years ago, I developed an innocent crush on one of my married coworkers. We had become close and would often work late together and go out for drinks after work and chat. It was always innocent but we got to really get to know each other on a personal level. He would tell me about how his marriage sucks and how he would most likely get a divorce but didn't want to shell out all of the money to do so. At the time I never thought about actually doing anything with him, and I viewed the personal conversations as just me giving him an ear to listen and emotional support. Then, after a little while later, we ended up going on a business trip together for the first time and, to make a long story short, ended up getting physical and then eventually having s*x."
Eventually, the man landed another job in another state, but that didn't stop the pair from still seeing each other for a while. He developed strong feelings for her and later divorced his wife, but she knew that the great s*x was the only thing they had in common, so she finally let him go.
10 From Side Chick To Main Chick?
A Reddit user said that she had an affair, and as a result, turned into someone she never thought she'd become. She admitted, "My AP is my boss, and he is married. Though there is absolutely no emotional connection and it's purely s*xual, I find myself getting jealous of other women. Before things got physical, I requested that if he ever wanted to mess with any of the other women in our office, that he end it with me first because I didn't wanna be second string in my affair since that's what I'd been in my marriage. He agreed and assured me that he had too much to lose in getting caught and wouldn't risk multiple APs, especially ones that worked alongside each other."
The user provided a twist, "I've noticed here lately that another woman is spending quite a bit of time in his office. And being that "other woman" myself, I can't help but wonder what's really going on in there. Being a "mistress" doesn't really give me the right to call him out on who he's sleeping with. But it's killing me to think I'm sharing my AP. I want to be his main f*ck at the office."
9 Mixed Emotions
An affair started with drinks after work and ended when she was in love and he wasn't.
A Reddit user wrote, "My relationship was ending when I met him. We became good friends and told each other all about how messed up our current relationships were. The night it went too far was after drinks, a kiss in a bar and a DUI; I bailed him out. After we slept together the first few times, I ended things with my boyfriend. He always said he was going to break up with his girlfriend and he never did. Long story short, it was months and months of him telling me he wanted to be with me and loved me and months and months of him not doing anything about his current situation. When he finally did break up with her, he stayed with me for a few weeks and things were great. Then, in a company-wide meeting (yup, co-workers), he texted me to tell me he was getting back together with her."
Fast-forward one and a half years later, when the couple remains together and the user is married to another man.
8 Friends With Benefits
Sometimes, having friends with benefits is so much better and is way easier than dating someone exclusively. But you need to be in the right head space to make a "friends with benefits" situation really work.
A Reddit user wrote, "I just went into it as FWB. I have some feelings but won't let them be known. We just try to have fun and enjoy it while it lasts. I'm a bit pissed at him at the moment for some reasons, so it may be over. But it was fun while it lasted. He never met my SO but I've had to deal with his on occasion. Used password protected texting/pics."
A friend with benefits is a great person to try out the positions you saw in an adult film that turned you on or practice your dirty talk. Yes, being in a healthy relationship is also a place for this kind of exploration, but with a FWB, asking for what you want, when you want it, is the whole point.
7 Two Married Folks Having An Affair
A Reddit user wrote, "We have worked together for 2.5 years at a small startup. Just us two and the owner at the start, and now, 7 or so other employers. We are the classic work husband and wife. The business was very up and down, so on the slow weeks, it was us drinking beer and talking, trying to figure out how to make this company stay afloat. Then when we were busy, it's us two doing it all, tackling it all together. Why we are so close is because we pretty much run this business together, just the two of us. So we aren't just co-workers, we share the same goal and want the same thing from our jobs. Now, we are the only two managers, so there is plenty of time that we need to talk. He is 16 years older than me, family man. Wonderful family man. Brings his kids into work."
At the time, the user was married with no kids. She vented to him about her husband's anger problem, and he told her about one of his close friends dying and his fears for his kids. Then one day, he asked her if she has ever kissed another man or has been with someone else. She said, "Yes, my husband." He then told her that he had a s*xual dream about her the night before, and seeing her that morning was déjà vu. From there, they started kissing and touching each other on an on-and-off basis.
6 Alcohol And Infidelity
It's understandable that a mid-20s female in her second full-time job is truly excited to be with someone for the first time in her life. It's still very early, but she has no regrets.
A Reddit user wrote, "My first day of the job consisted of getting my computer and systems setup and meeting people, and across the office, I looked up and saw...him. My heart skipped a beat; he was ridiculously attractive, poised, and absolutely had to be taken (or gay). I looked down and went back to work. Over the next two weeks, we had a couple instances where we were able to hang out outside of work with teammates—alcohol, good conversation, and hours that seemed to fly by too quickly. It was during these times that I learned he lived within walking distance of my apartment, that he was significantly (5-10 years) older than me, that he was single, and he'd been at the firm for just shy of a decade. At some point during those outings, he'd inquired about my dating history. He remembered later that I'd mentioned dating a guy for a year who was the same race as him. I should have perhaps been more suspicious than I was, but I brushed it off as a simple conversation starter; I'd accepted that this person was off limits. He worked at the same company (albeit different teams and departments), he was much older than me, and he was definitely out of my league. In my third week of work, we both found ourselves outside the elevators at the end of the day. He invited me for a drink, since we were heading back to the same place after all, which I accepted; it was a friendly gesture, right? We ended up at a low-key rooftop bar in our 'hood and started talking about a myriad of topics, which always circled back to relationships. He asked me more about my ex, the people I'd dated prior, my preferences in guys, why I wasn't using online dating platforms. The alcohol probably didn't help, but it wasn't until 4 hours into the night that I questioned him as to why he was asking me so many personal questions. Long story short, we ended up making out at the bar and wound up back at his apartment by the end of the night."
5 Two Unhappy Marriages
Interoffice affairs are more common than we thought. Despite their marriages, these two co-workers are having real-life affairs with each other, so is this really wrong or do people need to lighten up?
A Reddit user wrote, "I love the bones of him. Have done since first day I met him but it never got together. He texts me from his stag/bachelor party telling me how he felt. I text him telling him not to get married if he didn't love her. We're now both unhappily married to other people and send each other random, s*xually-charged messages."
Some people are unhappy in marriage because they did it for the wrong reasons. In this case, the man was apparently uncomfortable at his bachelor party but continued to marry his fiancée anyway. He should've called off the wedding. However, the woman should've also did the same thing. Hopefully, they'll realize they have potential to become a couple.
4 Happily Ever After Is Possible
There are obvious plus points to meeting your partner at work. There are also risks in having an office romance. This comment is about a relationship between two co-workers after the man gets fired from his job.
A Reddit user wrote, "I was not about to date someone I worked with no matter how big the crush. I knew I liked him the moment I met him so it was hard to hold back. The night he got fired, I went to his place with a 30 pack, and we got drunk together and finally banged after months of chilling as flirty friends. That was almost 11 years ago. We aren't married (neither of us believes in marriage) but we have been together ever since and in two days, our daughter will be 17 months old. We are best friends and I still believe it would have been a mistake if we had started dating while we were still working together."
3 Under The Radar
A Reddit user—who described herself as a longtime lurker—wrote, "I'm in this situation, about 1.5 years in, and I know it goes against everything this sub preaches, but for me, it's fantastic. I know his wife and he knows my husband. My AP was FB friends with my SO prior to starting our affair. I am not FB friends with his wife and have no intention of befriending her now. It's all about risk assessment. We have mutually assured destruction and the understanding that we are just looking for fun. We are tender and sweet with one another when we are together but there is no talk of leaving spouses, etc. We both knew that going in. I worked with my AP for about 11 years before anything started. We have a history of being friendly but not any more so than I am with anyone else in the office...really. We work on different floors in different departments so we only really run into each other in staff meetings or in the communal kitchen, and even then, only occasionally. From where his desk is, he's able to see me go into the kitchen, and he does not go out of his way to "accidentally" bump into me and I prefer this."
The user's AP lives a short drive from their office. So when he's in the office, she'll occasionally run so-called errands during lunch when his wife is out of town on a business trip. When his wife is in town, they make do with sending dirty text messages or getting a hotel room.
2 May-December Romance
A Reddit user got involved in a May-December romance at work. She was 33, and he was 63. According to the woman, the s*xagenarian was smoky-sexy and looked like Ed Harris. He was also smooth, sweet, and smart.
The user wrote, "One evening, all the staff were staying at a local hotel, and I snuck up to his room. We had amazing s*x and I was FLOORED at the difference in being with someone with so much experience. But my laugh is singular, and some coworkers heard me there in his room. Luckily, they were the "cool" ones. We dated off and on, when he was in town, for about a year...very casually, no pressure, no constant contact. Eventually, the way that OTHERS looked at us got on my nerves. It was always assumed by waitstaff that he was my father, and when they found out he was my DATE, they would look at me knowingly and judgmentally, as if I were after his money (which I never was)."
1 Two-year Affair
A Reddit user wrote about how she was ashamed of her two-year affair with a co-worker. They both worked at a company and were in the same department. They also had a couple of meetings where everyone flew in to the headquarters, so they met in person several times.
The user confessed, "We were drinking pretty heavily; the night turned serious, and somehow, we broached the topic of marriage, relationships, and families. I told him about how I'm estranged from my family, and he confided in me saying that he's only in his marriage still for the kids. He has three kids, two of whom have special needs. He doesn't want an acrimonious divorce, and he worries that if they split and he would pay her alimony (which would be very hefty with the kids and his income tax bracket), that through the bitterness of the divorce, the kids would end up hurt or neglected. That she'd fight him over custody—the house, their pets, and all sorts of other things. Anyway, after that trade show, it felt like we had a stronger bond; our correspondences started to become more personal, we'd start to talk like friends on top of business matters. Then, the Christmas party came several months later. He was in the office and joined the company for a night out. We ended up sharing a cab home. Long story short, we drove to his hotel (the premise was that I would sober up at the hotel rather than go home drunk) and ended up spending the night together. We spent most of the next day (Saturday) in his hotel room. It was physical, but the whole thing was emotional too."