Everybody lies. At one point in our lives, everyone stretches the truth a little bit. And most of the time, it's no big deal. There are certain lies that don't really hurt anyone, things that just help you make things a little more convenient when you're in a sticky situation. Hell, there are even lies that are ethical, which are known as "noble lies." While that's all well and good, there are also lies that are totally, inescapably and truly wrong. These are those lies that make you feel weighed down by overwhelming guilt when you tell them, when your conscience pipes up inside your head and urges you to come clean. Most of us have been there at some point in our life.
One of the most common reasons people lie is because of their relationships. These are often the most hurtful and damaging lies. These often have the power to end relationships, or severely damage them. Both men and women are equally guilty of telling lies, but men can't help but be more interested in the lies that women tell. In many situations, women are actually really good at lying, and are capable of spinning webs of lies that never get discovered. But on Reddit, when given the chance, some of these women have decided to come clean. Here are their confessions.
15 She Lied About Her History With Other Men
One of the most common things girls lie about to their boyfriends is their past history with other guys. We live in a pretty hypocritical world where women with many partners are looked down upon by society. In some regions it's much worse, but even in the West it's still a common occurrence. This makes no sense, since a guy with many past partners is not looked down upon in the same way. This particular woman admitted that her worst ever lie was about her past:
"I lied to him because I didn't want to be judged and didn't want to lose him. I will not disclose about my past but all I will say is that he has 0 experience and is completely clean (not even p*rn or kissing another woman (except me, I was his first girlfriend), prior to our relationship). When he found out, he texted me that he is ending the relationship because I lied to him. He also mentioned that he would've accepted what I had done if it was mentioned earlier but lying and hiding this from him for almost 2 years is the reason why he is ending it. All this communication happened last week via text. I went to his house personally to speak to him and his roommates told me he moved out. They don't know where he moved to."
14 She Faked Being Pregnant
Pregnancy is a really big deal in relationships. It's the ultimate step forward, because for the first time, you're dealing with a life that isn't either of yours. It's a huge responsibility, and something that a lot of couples freak out about. Many people would say that this isn't the right thing to joke about... But I guess this particular girl had a very different idea. Her idea of a prank was to tell her boyfriend she was pregnant when she wasn't... And then she exclaimed that she was kidding when he started to freak out. The problem was that he didn't freak out, and he actually was overcome with joy:
"I lied to my boyfriend about being pregnant... So now I have to get pregnant... I thought it'd be funny to get him all excited about me being pregnant and then tell him I wasn't. Instead of getting excited, he hugged me and started crying and thanked me and told me how much he loved me and got all cute. Then he called his mom, then my parents, then his sister, and so on and so forth."
13 She Never Told Him She Was Trans... Until Now
Transgender issues are a huge topic of discussion today, especially when it comes to dating. Recent advances in medical technology make trans individuals virtually indistinguishable from any other cisgendered person, and that's why this is such a huge issue. Is it the trans person's responsibility to make their status clear? Or is that s*xist to expect them to come clean about it? Should guys feel angry when they find out they've been dating a girl who was born a guy? Or is that totally uncalled for? Well, this very situation happened to one woman, who never told her boyfriend she was trans until one fateful day:
"I just told my BF that I’m trans. He came over and we sat on the couch and I told him everything: when I realized I was a girl, when I told my parents when I started to transition, and finally, that I had a penis. It was hard to say it all so I just started talking and didn't stop until I'd said everything. I couldn't even look him in the eye and kept looking at the wall or a picture as I told him. At the end of my speech he just smiled at me and said 'I just want you.'"
12 She Lied About Being Inexperienced
Virginity is another thing tons of girls lie about to their partners, and this is actually pretty sad. We live in a society where girls shouldn't have to lie about their virginity, but sadly this is a common occurrence and a common thing girls lie about to their boyfriends. We still hold onto the old notion that a girl who is not a virgin is "impure" and unfit to marry. This is especially true in highly religious societies, such as devout followers of Christianity and Islam. The sad thing is that this particular girl felt that she had to lie about it because her boyfriend was so religious:
"When we first started dating he asked me if I was a virgin and I panicked and I told him that I was. We're both Christians but he was more devout when he was younger and has always wanted to wait until marriage. We've been together for two years now and I think he's going to propose soon. I suddenly feel really nervous about everything. I'm pretty sure my family knows that I'm not a virgin so what happens if he says something about it at the ceremony or something? I've only [been with] with 11 guys so it's not like I'm a sl*t or anything. I wish that I was a virgin so that we could lose our virginities together but I can't change that now... I feel nauseous every time I think about it."
11 She Ditched Him Because He Was Short... Then Lied About It
It's a pretty well-known fact that most girls prefer taller guys, or at least guys that are taller than them. It's just a fact of life, unfortunately. Guys who are taller are seen as having better genes, and so women are naturally hardwired to be more attracted to them. It's a reminder that although we might be civilized, there's no escaping our instincts and ancient mating preferences. This can be a source of conflict for a lot of girls, as many of them end up breaking up with their boyfriends because they're too short. Other girls find happy relationships with vertically-challenged men. But this girl was certainly not one of them:
"I broke up with my boyfriend because he was too short. I know it's shallow but I couldn't help it. He is a good friend of mine and when he asked me out, I knew that his height would be a problem (he's only about 5'4") but I thought that I'd get over it. We like each other a lot and click really well but I just couldn't do it. I lied and told him I wasn’t ready for a relationship…"
10 She Lied About Her Age
Another common thing girls lie about is their age. Obviously, a guy who dates a girl who is under the age of consent can get into some serious trouble, so they tend to steer clear of so-called "jailbait." The funny thing is that an age gap of 20 or more years was seen as normal a little over a century ago. It's only recently that relationships such as these are prevented in modern law. But what happens when a girl is extremely attracted to a guy who's too old for her? Well in this particular case, she lied about her age:
"I'm now 18 and a female, but one year ago I lied to my boyfriend who is in the army and said that I was already 18. Obviously I wasn't; I was 17. He is 20. I lied and told him I was in college, not in high school. Since he's in the army he believed me, as he couldn't exactly see for himself. Now as a senior in high school, I still have quite a ways to go. But he still thinks I'm in college. The big thing is that he's getting out of the army. Not necessarily for me, just because he thinks he should get out as it isn't the right place for him. What should I do about this entire mess? I need help."
9 She Tricked Him Into Getting Her Pregnant
There are little white lies, and then there are lies that are seriously immoral. Sometimes it's ethical to lie, although these are rare situations. While some lies are pretty innocent, others, such as this one, are definitely not. In this particular situation, a girl actually tricked her boyfriend into unknowingly getting her pregnant. Believe it or not, this is actually not all that uncommon. Some women just really want to have a child, such is their natural maternal drive. So they sabotage their birth control methods, and have a baby without the man actually consenting to it. That's exactly what this one girl did:
"My boyfriend 'Ben' and I had been dating seriously for a few years. I never told another person this, but my pregnancy wasn't an accident at all. I stopped taking birth control pills because I wanted to have a child. After I stopped I didn't get pregnant for almost a year and got lulled into a false sense that it was never going to happen. From the moment I saw the positive pregnancy test, I knew what I had done was a horrible, dishonest, unethical thing and felt terrible guilt and shame."
8 She Lied About How Many Guys She's Been With
So many people are obsessed with the "number." For those who don't know, in the context of a relationship, the "number" refers to how many people you've slept with in the past. Most people don't really keep count, some actually keep a list, and others are proud of the fact that their number is large or small. But in reality, it's just a number, and shouldn't really affect the relationship. If someone truly loves you, they will love you unconditionally, regardless of how many people you've slept with in the past. Unfortunately, this particular girl was too nervous to come clean, so she lied about it:
"We're both 20. He's quite conservative – he wanted to wait to have s*x and said it was important to him. He's only had one girlfriend and she's the only girl he's slept with. I'm more modern, I think we should be able to have s*x with whoever we want as long as we're safe (which I always was). I told him that I've been with two other guys. The truth is that it's between 25 and 35. I slept around a little in my first two years of college. I don't feel bad about my past, but I don't want to ruin our relationship over it either. I know guys can sometimes get antsy with things like this, so I decided not to tell him. They we're all before I met him, I don't think it's a big deal, I just don't want to upset him. I do feel a little bad, though."
7 She Cheated And He Never Found Out
Lying about your fidelity is probably the biggest lie you can tell your significant other. And sadly, this is a common thing that people in relationships lie to each other about. Girls are just as guilty of this as guys, and there are many confessions on Reddit that share an inside view into this experience. This particular girl confessed that not only did she cheat on her husband, but that he never found out, and she still hasn't told him. I doubt she's ever going to come clean:
"I married young, and cheated on my husband. I never told him, he never found out, and we are now divorced. I've been with the guy I cheated with for several years and things are going great. Basically, I was having problems in my marriage after the first year. Instead of doing the right thing, which would be to focus on my relationship and put more effort into it, I saw it in a really hopeless light and was continually frustrated. Shortly after, I met a guy at work and formed a crush. He was awesome. He was everything I was looking for, even more so than my husband! We had so many more shared interests and goals. It started as emotional cheating and slowly moved to physical cheating. It grew into love over the course of several months."
6 Her Husband Has Been Raising Another Man's Child...
Cheating on a guy is one thing, but getting pregnant by another man is a whole new level of deception. Not only are you cheating on a guy, but you're also bringing another life into the world who was born as the result of lies and deception. But wait, it gets worse. This particular woman not only cheated on her husband with the neighbor and got pregnant, but she never told him either. So she was able to convince her husband that he got her pregnant... And so now he's raising a little girl who he thinks is own biological daughter. Little does he know that his "daughter" is actually the product of his wife's cheating affair. And the gold medal for worst lie ever goes to this girl:
"I cheated on my husband with another man but he never found out and I never confessed to cheating. I got pregnant by the neighbor I was having an affair with. I was fed up with the lack of physical intimacy between me and my SO around that time. I knew the baby wasn't my husband's because my husband and I hadn't had s*x when the baby was conceived. When I discovered that I was pregnant I told my husband I wanted to have children because I thought it might help to strengthen our marriage. My husband never suspected a thing. Our daughter is 7 years old now and my husband still has no idea that he’s not my daughter’s biological father."
5 She Has Been With Over 40 Guys... But Lied About It
Here's another confession about a girl who lied to her boyfriend about how many people she's slept with. It's just a number, and shouldn't be something these girls need to feel ashamed of, even though 40 might sound like a really big number to a lot of people. This girl says that she's not ashamed of it, but she felt the need to lie and say that she had only slept with 7 people. It's another lie that probably didn't need to be told:
"I've been dating by BF for 3 months and it has been the best relationship of my life. He makes me so happy and he has treated me like a princess from day 1. I love him, I'm completely sure of it. He's far less experienced than me, and only had 2 partners before me, and they were both committed relationship partners. I've always had a high libido and free attitude towards desire, so I've been around the block (threesomes, casual hookups, etc). The amount of partners I've had is around 25 but considering all activity, it's 40+. I'm not ashamed of my past and I don't regret anything I've done. I'm happy for the experiences and being able to fully explore my s*xuality. Unfortunately I ended up lying to my boyfriend about my number. He wanted to be exclusive very early and we got into a conversation about our histories. He admitted his and stupidly I lied to him about mine, saying I only had 7 partners. He also constantly asks about my history with women (I'm bis*xual) and it's incredibly annoying to keep telling him it's none of his business and I'm with him now."
4 Her Boyfriend Is A Health Nut... And She Eats Junk Food
While the last few confessions have been pretty serious and emotional, this next one is a little more light-hearted and fun. That's not to say it isn't a big lie, though. When people live together, they make certain vows and promises. Although not eating junk food might seem like a stupid promise to make, it's still a promise. Breaking it represents a breach of trust, and that's why this girl never told her "yoga health nut" significant other. She also feels pretty guilty about it, but a lot of people reading this can probably relate to her. She just wanted a pizza! Is that such a big crime? Here's her story:
"We aren't married, but we do live together. Anyway, he is a super healthy crunchy yoga addict. We have no meat in the house and basically live off of rice and beans. So whenever he is gone out of town for work, I'm home alone! I'll order pizza delivery. The box will be in the trashcan by the time he gets back. I also go to drive-throughs on the sly. I throw everything away so my car doesn't smell and he doesn't know, receipts and all. No evidence."
3 She Lied About Her Infections
Unfortunately, s*xually transmitted infections are a major issue today, especially with the increased amount of promiscuity compared to previous decades. In many cases, these STIs are getting so out of control that vaccines no longer work. But perhaps the worst part about having an STI is the stigma that goes along with it. People with STIs are looked down upon by many members of society, and it's definitely not something people are open about. That makes it a little more understandable that this girl lies about her STIs to her boyfriend:
"[I didn't tell him] that I had HPV when I was 19. I was 23 when the current SO and I got together and didn't immediately bring it up because I didn't think it was a big deal. I had a spot when I was 19 that a doc froze off and I have had clean paps every year since. But he freaked out about it for a little while. I'm 29 now and we've been married for 5 years and have a 4 year old son. So, he got over it."
2 She Never Told Him... Then He Read Her Diary
Many girls have things that have happened in their past that they will never tell anyone. They're just too traumatic to ever speak about, and will probably remain unspoken for the rest of their life, even to their closest loved ones. A common example of this is s*xual abuse at a young age. Most people just want to forget that it ever happened, let alone bring it up with their partners. One girl admitted that she had kept her past abuses secret from her boyfriend, even after ten years of dating. But that all changed when he read her diary:
"My husband and I have been together for ten years, but when we were dating I kept some things from him that I wanted to "save" to tell him at a better time. Really, there isn't quite perfect timing to tell someone you've had several [abusive] experiences in your youth. As it never came up, I never told him my stories. Until one day, I was house-sitting for my mom and he was over. I had class in the afternoon because I was in college and he was left alone in the house for a few hours. In my old bedroom, there was a box of my things that he decided to peek at to get to know me a little better or maybe he was just being nosy, God love him. He found a diary I had kept as a child through my early teens. I only ever opened it to write the bad experiences out. I'd shut it and never open it again. He read the entire thing."
1 She Lied About Self-Pleasure
This one is a little more risqué, and something that's really eye-opening. One has to remember that girls are just human, and like all people, the majority of them have certain urges that need to be fulfilled. And some girls have much higher libidos than other women, and that's nothing to be ashamed of. We're all wired differently, and have slightly different brain chemistry. This particular girl found herself in a situation where she was hiding the fact that she was giving herself pleasure. He was particularly offended when he found out she was doing it after they were intimate. But she still ended up sneaking out of the house to do the deed:
"My ex got really upset when he found out how often I self-pleasure (especially after we got intimate) and that was a lot to deal with. It wasn't that he couldn't [please me], but I get really, really into it and would end up sneaking off all day to [get to it]. We'd been together about 2 years, so I can understand why hiding it would tick him off. I just didn't know it was a problem. I thought all women did that."