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15 Unholy Church Signs With Messages We Can’t Believe

High Life
15 Unholy Church Signs With Messages We Can’t Believe

We communicate in various forms every day. Most people know our President loves Twitter about as much as any person should, right? That goes for countless celebrities, actually. The vast majority of people, regardless of where they reside, also have Facebook, Snapchat, instant messaging, email, or newspapers. The list goes on and on it seems. Information, at least when in the form of words, is everywhere. Our eyes and ears are always listening and reading.

Some of the messages we read from day to day can leave a person shaking their head in disbelief. Other news can educate us or leave a smile on our face. Maybe it was a billboard that helped solve a crime or an alert that came across your phone that saved a life… either way, the fastest way to communicate with each other instantly is through language.

What happens, though, when the messages people, groups, even corporations, use to communicate with us are taken to mean something different than intended? What happens when the offender is a religious organization? Uh-oh, right? Religion isn’t supposed to be humorous; it’s supposed to be healing, welcoming, and unbiased to those who want to worship God.

If that’s the case, then how in the world did these churches feel the messages they were trying to convey were acceptable? You’ll have to answer that question yourself because these are photos of offensive church signs with unholy messages you have to see to believe.

15. Since When Does A Church Like Hurting People?

When I think of the complete opposite kind of message a church sign should communicate with potential attendees, this one comes pretty damn close. St Martha’s Episcopal apparently didn’t see it that way when they decided this was a message they wanted those passing by to read. What a crazy world, don’t you think? It’s anybody’s guess as to what this church was thinking when they posted this offensive message on their church sign. I don’t think it’s a stretch to assume that there isn’t a reader here today that would go into that place of worship and ask them for more information on how they could be hurt themselves. Who in the hell would?

14. Even Jesus Knows Texting And Driving Doesn’t Mix

“Texting can make vehicle accidents 23 times more likely to happen” according to personalinjurysandiego.org. Does that statistic surprise you? It shouldn’t. This offensive church sign with an unholy message cuts right to the chase. Perhaps, a memo that this church should have thought through before they put it up. Icebike.org reports that “Over 2.5 million people in the U.S. are involved in road accidents each year, and 1.6 million have a cell phone involved in them. That’s 64% of all the road accidents in the United States. Over half, the road accidents in the States have cell phones involved.” Despite what religion you believe in, I doubt that any God wants 1.6 million people a year knocking at heavens door, do you?

13. Thank God For One Of These Signs!

In 2013, an article written by Samantha Shankman of theweek.com said the “‘What Happens Here, Stays Here’ slogan is one of the more famous taglines in modern tourism marketing and one of the most quoted… The phrase has not only been a spark that’s helped drive millions of visitors to Sin City, but it’s also inspired an Usher song and the trilogy of Hangover movies, been quoted by Laura Bush, closed an Oscar ceremony, and been banned from Super Bowl time slots.” That’s one heck of powerful slogan that plenty of people remember hearing. If you’ve been a visitor to Las Vegas before and experienced your own version of the movie The Hangover, then this church is willing to hear your confession.

12. Who Can We Kiss Then?

Katy Perry kissed a girl, and she liked it! If you’ve forgotten that tune it was a song of her’s that was released in 2008 and was part of her One Of The Boys album. Men kissing women, or any other way lips meet, is usually a symbol of love. Am I wrong? Kissing a girl isn’t okay with Havens Corners Church and leads guilty sinners straight to hell, according to their church sign. What a joke, right? Do you think this offensive church sign with an unholy message is a stretch? Not many people will fault you if you do. The bulk of us all would have to find a time machine and go back to our first kiss and make sure they never happened.

11. Somebody’s Going To Hell!

Who in the world thinks it’s a good idea to steal someone else’s AC unit? Especially, if that happens to be an air conditioner found at a local church? If I had to guess, this robbery happened in the south and we all know how much you need your AC living down there. Studies on theft by the NASP reveal, “More than 10 million people have been caught shoplifting in the last five years. A study by the Food Marketing Institute from 2009 says an estimated 33.1 percent of total losses are attributed to employee theft.” That’s interesting, wouldn’t you say? Maybe it was a church employee who stole the AC units and then posted this offensive church sign to cover their tracks.

10. Is It A Sin To Fire Your Sign Guy?

This church sign surely isn’t portraying the message it intended to. Pastor Paul Myers has probably fired the person responsible for displaying this message. Who can blame him? If not, well that sign guy, or gal, is fortunate. Here’s an example of a church sign that crossed the line of decency and went straight to offensive. Obviously, it was a mistake to display a message like this to the public. To a significant portion of people, though, this message would make them do a double take if they were driving by. I know I did when I first read this one. To say this offensive church sign didn’t make me chuckle would be a lie, and that’s a sin, right?

9. And Then There’s Beyonce And Jay-Z’s Baby

I wonder if Beyonce and Jay-Z are Baptists? By the looks of this offensive church sign with an unholy message, I’d assume, no. So, what is a Baptist, though? “Baptists are individuals who believe that a church consists of a gathered group of believers that subscribe to a doctrine that baptism should be performed only for professing believers (believer’s baptism, as opposed to infant baptism) and that it must be done by complete immersion (as opposed to affusion or sprinkling). Other tenets of Baptist churches include soul competency (liberty), salvation through faith alone, Scripture alone as the rule of faith and practice, and the autonomy of the local congregation. Baptists recognize two ministerial offices, pastors, and deacons. Baptist churches are widely considered to be Protestant churches, though some Baptists disavow this identity.”

8. Jesus Is Like A Drug, Huh?

According to the Tryon Church Of God, they say, “The Church’s belief on alcohol and tobacco is that partaking of and use of intoxicating liquors, alcoholic stimulants, narcotics, tobacco, and any habit forming drug is contrary to the nature of man. While this is not a surprising belief for a church to hold, let us look in the Bible to see why this belief is deeply founded in the scriptures.” So, if churches feel this way based on scripture then how can a church message board like this example exist? That’s a good question if you ask most of the people reading this article. Advertising that Jesus is their Prozac isn’t a holy thing to say, no matter what language you speak.

7. Talking About Your Momma Is Fair Game, Too!

The Bethel Assembly of God thought “no big deal” when they decided to put this offensive message up on their church sign. We know that this religion believes in the sanctity of the relationship between a man and a woman, but this may have been going a bit too far, don’t you think? Bethel Assembly’s core beliefs also state, “We will all stand before God in judgment at the end of this life. Those who have rejected Christ will be judged for their sin and consigned to eternal punishment in a lake of fire. Those who have accepted Him will live forever with Him in Heaven.” I’m not sure any of us are going to Heaven if we attend a church who has a sign that displays this sort of message.

6. This Church Gives Out A Special Bonus

The “Church Of The Chosen Privileged Ones”, huh? My goodness, even their name is offensive. Naming any organization something so insulting is asking to be scrutinized. Much like this document from 2005, where the Vatican, and approved by Pope Benedict XVI at the time, informed each Church that they, “cannot admit to the seminary or to holy orders of those who practice homosexuality, present deep-seated homosexual tendencies or support the so-called ‘gay culture.’ Such persons, in fact, find themselves in a situation that gravely hinders them from relating correctly to men and women.” Sorry, but that piece of garbage information not only alienates people with different sexual beliefs, human beings by the way, but it infects people’s minds all at the same time.

5. Oh Yeah, They Went There

In several scriptures, God is believed to refer to making love before marriage as evil. How many people are deemed to be sinners in the eyes of God, then? Well, that number appears to be about 97% of us. That’s a lot of people, wouldn’t you say? We’re taught in school that abstinence is the way to live your life until marriage. A study by waitingtillmarriage reveals that “Three percent of the US population may seem like a small number, but that represents nearly 10 million successful waiters-till-marriage. That’s ten million people (alive right now in the US alone) who waited, found love, got married, then had sex for the first time after they were married.”

4. Maybe We Should All Shut Up, According To This Sign

This pastor wasn’t beating around the bush when he had this offensive message posted on his church sign. Arthur Bailey Ministries wants you to hear God’s voice just like the Valliant Church Of God does; they even wrote a book called How To Hear God’s Voice. They claim that the mission of the book is to “share important biblical truths to help you identify and distinguish the voice of the Almighty from every other voice… you will learn why YeHoVaH (God) communicates with His people, why He wants you to hear His voice, how to identify His voice from others, and where He most likely speaks to you.” Would you be surprised if you found this book on Pastor Patterson’s shelf? Probably not, right?

3. In What Universe Is This Church Sign Message Holy?

In 2016, an article written by Hannah Fingerhut at pewresearch.org reported: “39% of Americans believe people need to be more careful about the language they use to avoid offending people with different backgrounds.” Oh man, this church sign misses the mark then, doesn’t it? The message this church intended to convey is quite possibly the biggest miss in this article, actually. How can you leave a sign like this one out, though? If any of you women out there have ever wondered how to get a 6′ man to his knees, then look no further than this bit of advice the World of Life has for you. You just got your answer, and all you had to do was read an offensive church sign to find out.

2. Does This Church Sign Go Too Far?

Never mind how you feel about Barack Obama as a President. People can argue politics all day. A lot of us think politics are boring and would rather talk about something else. With that being said, when I saw this offensive church sign with an unholy message the Jonesville Church of God displayed on their board I was blown away. Comparing a United States President to Osama Bin Laden is crazy. Osama is thought to be responsible for the 1998 bombings of U.S. Embassies in both Kenya and Tanzania, as well as the September 11, 2001, attacks. At the time of his death, he had been on the FBI’s Most Wanted list for over a decade. I’m pretty sure Barack Obama didn’t do anything that horrible, did he?

1. God Doesn’t Torture People

Here’s an outlandishly offensive church sign that has a message that’s anything but holy. People that look to God for faith, guidance, and hope surely don’t suspect that he will torture them forever if they decide not to worship him. With that being said nobody thinks that he wants them to “have a nice day” if they decide not to do so, either. If people thought that finding their faith and the following God would end with them being hurt in any way they’d likely reconsider. It’s hard to relate to what Eastside Baptist Church thought when they decided to display this message on their church sign, but what we do know is the connotation of this message can be considered offensive very easily.

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