It’s human nature to lie. Who knows how many pomegranates and apples Eve really ate in the Garden of Eden before the serpent convinced her to share with Adam (and we all know how well that ended).
Human beings lie. Women lie. Men lie. But, they lie about completely different things. Social media channels like Instagram and Facebook are the largest online communication platforms. A study was recently conducted by scientists and marketing specialists in Australia that used a complex algorithm to determine the percentage of people that were being deceitful in their posts to Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter. Did you know that 50% of all social media posts were found to be lies and that 64% of women were found to be lying!
Is that number surprising or is it something you expected? People aren’t perfect. Embrace the imperfections. It’s sad, yet funny at the same time to see the differences in what men and women lie about—the insecurities women feel that men don’t. Before we start getting too introspective and bring out the psychobabble, let’s take a closer look at the 15 Ugly Truths Women Lie About But Men Don’t. See if there are any surprises or if you don’t see one you believe belongs on the list, or should one be taken off the list? Things might get ugly when the truth gets out!
This shouldn’t come as any surprise. Women lie about the number of partners they’ve had. Why? It could be because they feel ashamed, embarrassed, immoral, or perhaps a combination of all three.
Society has this concept that being pure is the ideal for young women. Well, that’s unrealistic and downright dangerous. Unfortunately, women are still stuck under this umbrella of only pure women being the ones that are desirable. Having multiple “partners” makes them feel like all those names they remember hearing in high school or are maybe still hearing are what they are.
Guys wear how many women they’ve been with as a badge of honor, and it’s viewed entirely differently in our society. Men are seen as being more ‘manly’ and heralded if they’ve ‘scored’ with lots of women. Women are condemned. It’s absolutely horrible and unfair so it’s no wonder why women feel pressured to lie about the number of men they’ve been with.
Unfortunately, we live in weight-obsessed times. Social media has only exponentially escalated this obsession. Women find self-worth in the numbers on the scale. When they say their desired size out loud, it gives them a temporary rush of endorphins and makes them happy.
Women don’t only lie about their weight. They lie about their height too. Whenever a guy asks their height, the strangest thing occurs—the woman grows about 2 inches just in a matter of a couple of seconds! It’s downright miraculous!
It’s a shame women feel the need to lie about their appearance. Height and weight are not indications of being in the very best of health or shape. There are so many other factors that go into determining that, and even if a woman isn’t in tiptop shape, she is still a beauty nonetheless, and there should be no embarrassment in some numbers on a scale.
“I’ll have a…crouton with a side of…ice.” Please. A crouton and a side of ice is going to satisfy those hunger pains she’s feeling? Doubtful.
If she is able to swallow a crouton and be “so full,” then you need to move away from her immediately because she definitely has some sort of rare disease that you definitely don’t want to contract.
No human being gets full on a crouton. The only thing that gets full on a crouton is a mouse. She wants the cheeseburger with extra cheese, a side of mayo, and yes, french fries (in place of the side salad). When you get back home, toss her a bag of Cool Ranch Doritos and a Coca Cola…regular, not diet. Have you tried Diet Coke? It’s okay if you like drinking moldy dish detergent. If you like to actually enjoy your drink and not gag it down, regular Coca Cola is the way to go.
“How much did you spend at Target?” asks the guy. “Oh, I don’t remember. I saved $7,402, though,” she excitedly squeals as she twirls her shopping bags in the air. The guy sighs and smacks his forehead.
If that scenario sounds familiar, chances are you have been that Target shopper or you have been the recipient of that Target transaction on your credit card statement.
Women don’t like confrontation nor do they like arguing. They will do things such as flat out lie or just plainly avoid revealing how much they spent while out shopping. Eventually, it’s revealed when the receipts are inevitably found or the ‘low checking account’ alert gets sent to his iPhone.
It’s just something that’s ingrained in a woman’s DNA. In her head, when making a purchase, she talks through an entire scenario. She rationalizes with herself that saving $200 by spending only $423 is a TREMENDOUS life-changing savings that you just can’t pass up BUT she knows that her significant other will not be understanding or appreciative of her decision-making skills and logic, therefore, she will do anything to avoid saying how much she spent but overemphasize how much she’s saved! Is there anything more dangerous than a woman at Target?
11. Ultimate Pleasure
The romantic comedy When Harry Met Sally nailed it. Women know how to fake it. Now, if you’re a guy, you might be wondering why any woman would want to fake it. Well, the truth is that sometimes it’s just not worth the work. There, it’s out there. A woman knows if it’s going to happen or not and if it’s not, to save your feelings or to just get you off of her, she will pull a “When Harry Met Sally” on you. It’s not always the guy’s fault. Sometimes, she is just distracted with other things going on in her life and not able to get in the ‘O’ zone.
Men lying about having an org*sm is pretty much impossible as there is that whole other aspect. So, yes, women lie about having an org*sm. Every single female has done it. If you are a woman shaking your head, be honest, you’ve never EVER done it? High school incompetent boyfriend? Drunk frat guy with the disgusting cigarette breath? That one guy from that one place?
10. The Hangover
“I didn’t have that much to drink and this hangover is horrible! I’m never drinking again,” she says, fully aware, that she pretty much finished off the bottle of tequila. “Man, what a night! I had 12 beers, 14 shots of stuff, and much more, I feel horrible! Let’s do it again tonight,” he excitedly yells as he crawls out from underneath the sofa.
Being known as a ‘lightweight’ is much better than being known as the girl who can’t control herself and stop drinking after she’s had a bit too much to drink. Guys find pride in the amount of alcohol they have consumed.
Women will go out with their girlfriends for drinks. The first thing they will do, after ordering drinks, of course, is compliment each other on their lipstick, new dress, hair, or weight loss. The next thing they will do is talk about the person who isn’t there and why the person isn’t there. This conversation inevitably flows into talking about the boyfriend or the person’s life choices, etc. Gossip. What’s new? Now, when a guy confronts a woman about gossiping, she is absolutely appalled that he would even think she was capable of such a thing.
Starting off, teenage girls want to be older. They will lie to appear older and more mature. This ends at about age 21…for obvious reasons. When a woman reaches her 30’s is when she wants to be younger again. Society has convinced her that to be young is to be youthful and youthful is desirable. So, she will lie about being 29 for a few years or even decades.
Guys have no desire to lie about their age after age 21. They don’t care if they are 29, 39, or 89. All they care about is being over 21. Guys aren’t embarrassed or ashamed of their age. It’s something trivial to them. Anti-aging serums and potions? No thanks!
7. Too Busy?
She’s not “soooo” busy. She just has no interest in spending time with someone she’s bored with. If a woman was interested in someone, she would definitely have the time to see them. A woman that’s uninterested in someone but still wants to be polite and not hurt their feelings will be “soooo” busy. How can she tell someone she would rather eat ice cream and binge-watch Gilmore Girls than hang out with him?
Unlike women, guys have no problem turning down invitations. “No, I don’t want to. I want to sit at home in my boxer shorts watching ESPN.” Guys don’t look too far into saying yes or saying no to an invitation to do something. They don’t dance around feelings or worrying about being perceived as an anti-social dork.
6. “Sooo Great To Meet You!!!”
She says, “It was sooo great to meet you!” What she likely means is, “Nope. It wasn’t great to meet you…like, at all.” Women have this very bad habit of being a little over-the-top when it comes to wanting to make the perfect first impression. It doesn’t matter if she does or doesn’t like someone, that first impression is everything.
Guys? Guys don’t say their goodbyes with “It was sooo great to meet you!” The closest they will ever come to saying this is, “Good to meet ya, bro,” or something of the like. That over-the-top obvious exaggeration (i.e. LIE) is a very annoying trait of many women. If only they knew how ridiculous they sounded using that Paris Hilton-esque drooly-kitten voice.
“Let’s get together soon, okay?!”
No, let’s not get together. Women lie through their teeth about getting together with distant friends and acquaintances. If a woman doesn’t like someone, especially another female, her way of saying ‘goodbye…hopefully forever!’ would be something like this: “Okay. Let’s get together soon!” It comes down to women not liking confrontation, hurting people’s feelings, or being perceived as a b*tch.
Guys? They don’t lie about this stuff. A guy is not going to tell a friend he runs into at the gym, “Let’s get together soon, okay?” No. If a guy wants to see the friend again, he will be much more specific. “Let’s get together to watch the football game tomorrow! Lions are going down and I want to watch you cry!”
“Am I jealous of your ex? No way! Why would you even ask that?” Even if your ex-girlfriend is Gisele Bundchen, your current girlfriend will absolutely deny that she is jealous of your ex. She will, however, continue throwing subtle jabs around about her that get pretty annoying, like: “I saw Giselle today…she really had a botched nose job…the left one is kind of sagging lower than the right one…sad.” She’s looking for confirmation that you no longer consider your ex attractive. In doing so, you are giving her a temporary boost in self-confidence.
Guys? Not usually any jealousy but if there is, they say it. It won’t be “I’m so jealous of Joe’s a*s.” Rather, it will be much more subtle than that, so subtle that you probably won’t even notice it.
3. Do. What. You. Want.
Do. What. You. Want. Those are arguably the four most dangerous words in the English language. If you hear these words, watch very carefully what you are about to say and how you are going to say it.
This is a life-and-death situation here so take your time in speaking. She definitely does care what you do, and you better darn well do what she wants to do! Even if she says she doesn’t know what she wants to do, you do it! Illogical? Yes. But, we are talking about females here, right?
2. “I’m Doing Great, You?”
Sure you are. When someone asks a woman how she is feeling, she will most likely be doing “just fine” or “great” even. She doesn’t want to show her weaknesses or give any hint of her life not being as perfect as she pretends it is all the time.
When guys are asked how they are doing, they usually say it like it is (at least they are more honest than most women). No, they don’t get into a 2-hour shoulder crying session with the cashier at Target. But, if they are having a bad day, they will say something like, “Ugh. Sh*tty day! Hope yours is going better.” Guys don’t worry as much as women about what people think about them.
1. “Just Give Me 5 More Minutes!!”
“Wow! You look amazing! How long did it take you to get ready?” he asks. “Me? Oh I just got back from running 200 miles and threw this old dress on,” she proudly replies.
Women are all naturally beautiful in their own unique ways but women also enjoy accentuating their God-given good looks with a little bit of speckle under the eyes and highlight on their cheekbones. She just doesn’t want to look like she tried too hard.
A woman will always lie about how long it takes her to get ready. It’s something that’s just ingrained in her from birth. She doesn’t want to appear high maintenance. She’s naturally beautiful so why would it take her any time at all to get ready? She’s not trying because trying could be implied as being desperate, and she is not desperate. She is a highly sought-after gorgeous woman.
A guy? He has zero issue with telling you how long it took for him to change his shirt and brush his teeth.
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