You have found true love and now you want to pour your heart out. You want to give him your entire life story from the moment you were conceived to the present. He must know every single detail of your life. The grades you got on your report card in 3rd Grade, your first kiss, the time you crashed your parents’ car, how old you were when you got your first period—all of it. You’ve only been dating for about 48 hours, but time is irrelevant when it comes to love. You feel as though you have known each other in a previous life or maybe an alternate universe where the sun and the moon peacefully coexist.
Enough already. Congratulations! You have a guy that you are dating that you like. You may want to tell him the world and you feel as though you don’t need to hold any secrets from each other; perhaps you even whispered something to that effect in each other’s ears under the starry night sky. Well, sorry to burst your bubble of lust but there will be secrets or there will be no relationship.
There needs to be an object of mystery and intrigue throughout a relationship. Yes, as the relationship progresses, there is obviously less and less mystery. But, there are other things then that don’t particularly need to be shared. These things, if shared, would weigh a relationship down, causing unnecessary hardship. Here are 15 Things No Woman Should Ever Tell Her Boyfriend.
15. Other Dudes
Yeah. Don’t tell your guy that another guy is ahhh-mazing or hot. You might as well just kick him in the balls.
Guys don’t want to hear about how incredible some other guy is. They want you to think those things about them, not someone else. Guys are a little selfish in this area; they want to be your everything and don’t want to compete with someone else for your affections. Yes, you are human. You will come across members of the opposite s*x that you think are attractive or good-looking or amazing to talk to, but the keyword there is *think*. For God’s sake, don’t repeat these things out loud.
14. Intimate Partners
There’s no reason to tell him the actual # of intimate partners you had. I know you might feel morally obligated to but really, does a number really matter? So what if you did “it” with just one other guy or twenty other guys?
Guys don’t want to date someone with a complete lack of bedroom skills but they also don’t want to date someone who has run marathons around the block. Don’t deny you’ve enjoyed intimate relations with others but also don’t feel obligated to pull out Excel spreadsheets, graphs, and pie charts.
Is there anything worse than hearing your significant other say “whatever?” Okay. Yes, there probably is, but let’s pretend for a second that there isn’t. It’s annoying, isn’t it? It makes you feel like dog crap and that the other person just doesn’t care about what you have to say.
When he asks you a question and you answer with just “whatever,” you are literally throwing in the towel. Maybe you are trying to avoid conflict or you honestly just don’t care. Either way, put yourself on the receiving end of the “whatever.” Don’t devalue your thoughts or opinions. Say what’s on your mind.
If he asks what restaurant you want to go to and you say “whatever” because you know he’ll want to go to the same old pizza place down the street, stop…right…there. Speak up. If you feel like Thai tonight, for goodness’ sake, say it. If you are insecure and too agreeable, that’s something that needs to be worked on.
12. The Ex
“My ex was so much better at (fill in the blank).” Let’s get one thing straight, your ex wasn’t “better” at anything. Your ex may have had more experience or even a greater skill set in certain areas but that’s not being “better.”
It’s actually a good thing that he’s lacking a particular expertise because this gives you the opportunity to teach him a thing or two. Would Leonardo DaVinci have enjoyed trying to paint the Mona Lisa on top of his four-year-old niece’s finger painting or do you think he liked having a blank canvas to create his masterpiece on? Exactly. With a little bit of help, he might actually become even better than your ex at whatever that thing is your ex was so good at.
Keep in mind that ex talk in general is kind of crappy; it doesn’t matter if it’s negative or positive. If you are constantly talking bad about your ex, that’s going to make your guy think you are still not over him or wonder why you stayed with him if he was so awful? It might also make you look like a negative person. The past is in the past for a reason. You’ve moved on to better and brighter (and bigger?) things.
11. I’m With Stupid
Putting anyone down is a nasty thing to do. Who wants to be with someone who’s constantly cutting them down? Not this girl. It can be especially harmful to a guy’s ego to make snide remarks about his masculinity or intelligence.
Now, it’s fine to make jokes and tease but please make sure this is going both ways. If you are the only one dishing out the *hilarious* insults, then maybe you need to reevaluate what you find funny. He could have also attempted to throw some wisecracks your way, but maybe you just couldn’t take it. If you can’t take what you dish out, time to put on the breaks, funny girl.
10. Birth Control
Not only should you not say this but you shouldn’t let it happen unless it’s something you both have discussed prior to doing the deed that has potentially life-changing consequences. That word prior is critical.
If a guy believes that you are taking the birth control pill and does it with you (and yes, he should be using a backup contraception method but not the point here), then you better be on birth control! If you tell him that you forgot to take it or lost it after you’ve had s*x that’s a really big problem. Bringing a baby into this world is a lifetime commitment. We are talking take the world as you know it, put it into a blender, turn the dial to “Pulverize,” keep the lid off, and hit “Start.” All the crap that comes out and flies everywhere; the stuff you have to clean off the ceiling and floor, well, that’s what your world is like after you have a baby.
9. “I Hate Your Mom.”
It doesn’t matter if you think his mom hates you, you don’t tell him you hate her. You don’t ever tell him you hate a member of his immediate family. If you’re married, that’s another story. We have all heard the ‘in-law’ jokes, right? It’s not just a coincidence that so many jokes involve the ‘in-laws’ or ‘ex-laws’. But, you’re not married.
You shall be nice. You will support him. You will talk positively about his family members just as you should expect him to talk positively about yours. If you can’t think of something nice to say about them, don’t say anything at all. Just smile.
Think about it from his mom’s shoes. She raised that child up to be the man he is today, the man you have fallen head-over-heels for. Treat her like a queen. Find some common ground…other than that you both love the same young man.
8. She Said, He Said
He doesn’t need to nor want to hear your family squabbles. Does he really need to know what your older sister said about your younger sister’s ex boyfriend’s brother? Does he need to know that your older brother’s wife and your mom are not on speaking terms at the moment because of what she said about his family? No and no. Keep your family drama to yourself. Every family has its own catty arguments and drama; no need to add yours to his.
This kind of goes along with the precise number of guys you have slept with. He doesn’t need to know that you cheated on your sophomore-year-in-high-school boyfriend with his twin brother and then his best friend.
Your cheating past should stay just that. In the past. There’s no reason to feel guilty about it. All of us (or most of us) have been there. We all have skeletons in our closets. But, you also don’t need to bring it up to your guy. The only thing it will do is sit on his mind. It will sit there and he might start to question things and overanalyze things, etc. Yes, it happened years ago and logically, it has no bearing whatsoever on your current relationship but that doesn’t matter; it will still be on his mind.
6. “So, You Left Your Phone Out And…”
“So, you left your phone out and…” If you are starting off a sentence like that, that’s definitely not something that needs to be said. You don’t check his phone. You don’t need to know who he calls or texts. You also don’t log in to his social media accounts to check on his interactions.
If you are truly that insecure that you can’t leave his private things private, then you don’t need to be in any kind of relationship right now. You need to work on you first before you bring others into your world.
Yes, okay, it’s your soulmate. It’s love. It’s a long-term relationship that’s going to last a lifetime. You are Jack and Rose (minus freezing to death in the Atlantic due to your selfish cold-hearted actions). You said that about your last one and the one before that. Well, now, the foot is being put down. Do not give out your passwords for your bank account, your social media accounts, your voicemail—nothing!
Let’s say something happens and you do end up breaking up. If it’s a particularly nasty breakup, well he could easily start harassing you online. He could change your passwords. He could access private messages and share them. He could message all your friends some horrible pictures. The list is endless. These are not just actions seen in some Lifetime movie about a deranged ex-boyfriend; these things happen. They are not uncommon. Protect yourself by keeping your passwords to yourself.
“You complete me.” Yeah. the 1996 movie Jerry Maguire was a good film. Note the word ‘film’. It was for entertainment purposes only. Those words aren’t meant to be used in real-life scenarios. Why? Because you sound like the depressed, desperate, melancholy, brooding Bella from the Twilight movies. You might as well say something like, “I don’t have the strength to stay away from you anymore…” (i.e. Edward Cullen, Twilight)
No one should complete you! You are a human, right? You have arms, legs, and all that jazz? Are you part robot? If you’re part robot, then maybe you could use someone to complete you, but most likely, cyborgs aren’t reading this.
Don’t talk about soulmates and spiritual beings connected over the space-time continuum. It makes you sound weird! There is an exception to this and that’s if he is also talking like this. If he’s talking about celestial connections and reincarnation, then by all means go ahead and talk like you’re in a teenage dystopian novel.
3. “I Could Care Less…”
First of all, saying “I could care less” probably means the opposite of what you think it means. “I could care less” implies that you could…care less. So, by saying this, it means that you do value whatever you’re talking about because there is something else that you could care less about? Follow?
What you probably mean to say is “I couldn’t care less.” This means that you care the very least about whatever it is that you are discussing. So, saying “I could care less” is crappy grammar. It also makes you sound like a 15-year-old prima donna.
2. “Are You Ever Going Back To The Gym?”
Don’t throw this dagger at him. No matter how mad or angry you are at him, just don’t. Egos are fragile, and once the words leave your lips, they can’t be taken back. You might think that just because he’s a guy, he can take digs on his physical appearance and they won’t affect him in the least. You couldn’t be farther from the truth. Words hurt everyone. It doesn’t matter if you’re a man or a woman, a teenager or a senior citizen; words cut. You know the song, “Sticks and stones may break my bones but words can’t ever hurt me?” Well, that song is BS. Words can hurt much worse than sticks and stones!
If you really are concerned about your guy’s health, suggest that you go to the gym together. Or, talk to him. Is he depressed? How’s he feeling? What’s his appetite been like? Is he under a lot of stress? Find these things out before you go off and start insulting him. Act like an adult and have a healthy conversation.
1. His Friends
Warning: This is off-limit dangerous territory here. Read very carefully. Don’t ever make fun of or criticize his friends. Don’t complain about them. Don’t tell him how immature they are. Just don’t do it.
If you like the guy you are dating and you’d like to keep him as a boyfriend, don’t touch his friends. Are his friends on the wild side or overly immature man-children? So what? You are not dating his friends. You are dating the hot guy you fell madly in love with.
But, you might say that he acts differently around his friends than he does when it’s just you and him. Guess what? That’s called the difference between a friend and someone you are involved with on an intimate level. Now, if we are talking that he turns into a disrespectful a*shole, well, that’s a guy you need to dump immediately.
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