Tinder is all the rage these days. If you are single, or even if you have been single over the last 5 years or so, and you aren’t a total dinosaur or afraid of technology, there is a pretty good chance that you have been on Tinder, which is arguably the hottest dating app out there. This can be a good thing — Tinder makes it really easy to meet people, whether it be for dating or just for hooking up.
Unless, of course, you tend to scare women away. Many guys really think they have major game and are good at hooking up on Tinder, but the reality of the situation is, all they’re really doing is freaking women out. Is that your goal when you get on Tinder? Do you want to totally scare someone you’re trying to hook up with? No, I didn’t think so. So why the heck are you doing it?
What follows is the 15 most common thing that guys do on Tinder that scares the heck out of women. Unless you are on Tinder to purposefully scare women, then you probably shouldn’t do anything of these things, and honestly, if you are, then you need to get a better hobby.
15. Be Too Forceful
This one is confusing. Of course, there are some women on Tinder that just want to hook up and will do it with pretty much anyone they match with. They’re looking for a guy that makes them feel attractive and special. So your role, as the dude, is to take things a tiny bit slow before you just totally go for it and make it obvious that all you are looking for is a quick fling. This can be really dicey because if you don’t come on to a woman at all, she is going to wonder what is up with you, but if you do it too strong, you are cut off pretty much right away.
14. Be Totally Insecure
Just as you don’t want to be that guy that comes on way too strong, you also don’t want to be that guy who is totally insecure. Women want a guy that is confident, just not one that is a total jerk. If you want to pick a woman up on Tinder, you are going to have to show a little bit of game. Now, don’t get me wrong, she might find it refreshing that you are nice and normal, but she still is going to want you to show that you have a little bit of game. It is a fine line and if you are an insecure guy it might take you quite a long time before you master it, but if you come across as an insecure dweeb when you are on Tinder, you might as well stop wasting your time.
13. Insult Her if You Aren’t Getting What You Want
One of the things that you need on Tinder is a little bit of patience. Nothing is going to go your way if you just keep bugging her and then flip out and insult her if you don’t get what you want right away. You might think that you are getting some revenge if you insult her and call her names if she doesn’t show interest in you quickly enough, but really, all you’re doing is letting her know that she made the right decision to drop you. A guy insulting a woman who they feel either rejected them or neglected them while they are online is never a good look. Just take things like a man, and if they don’t write back right away, don’t be mean, just let it go.
12. Be Arrogant
Another way to scare a woman away when you are on Tinder is to be arrogant. I know, I also say on this list not to be too insecure, but listen, hitting on a woman, whether it be in person or on a dating app, is not easy. If it was, everyone would be doing it and there wouldn’t be a need for an article like this. While women like someone that is confident and comfortable in their own skin, what they don’t like are people that act like they are the coolest and are better than everyone else. In fact, even if you are better than anyone else, just tone it down a notch. She can figure that out for herself once you meet her in person — the object of the game is getting there.
11. Tell Them What They Will Like About You
No matter what you do, don’t write anything like, “You will like my sense of humor, my love for animals, and especially my hair.” This comes off as totally lame. If you really have nice hair, she is already going to think that; if you are good with animals, just tell her about your dog and how much you love him; if you have a good sense of humor, maybe you should be making her laugh instead of trying to explain to her how funny you are. All of this stuff should be totally common sense, but so many guys fail at this and scare women away on Tinder. That would be a really sad thing for sure if it wasn’t for the fact that it leaves more women for the rest of us.
10. Ask Too Many Questions About Exes
I might be wrong about this, but I really don’t think so. Pretty much no woman on Tinder is looking for a future stalker. So with that said, it is more than cool to go back and forth a little bit and talk about people in each other’s past but please, for the sake of all that is good in the world, don’t go all psycho and ask a bunch of awful questions about her ex. This should go without saying, but you also don’t want to tell her a whole bunch of things about your ex and how horrible she was to you. Both of these things are pretty much a guarantee to scare her away. Just try and focus on what is going on with the two of you and forget all of the different people you have used in the past.
9. Use Awful Pick-Up Lines
I don’t know what it is about bad pick up lines, but guys use them, both in person and online, even though they pretty much know for sure that there is literally no way that they are ever going to work. So why do it? She gets it, you are trying to pick her up, but you are actually making things way more awkward. So cut it out. Direct compliments are always good, but don’t go overboard. You don’t want her to think you’re clingy and weird.
8. Use Many Emojis
I know, messaging women on Tinder is hard, you never know what to say and you don’t want to come across like a total idiot. So why not just send a whole bunch of emoji’s? We, l there are a few reasons why not to do that. For one, you probably are not a teenage girl, and secondly, women are not nearly as stupid as you seem to think they are. Just because you are sending a woman a long a series of little cartoon pictures does not make it funny, nor does it make it interesting. She probably got on Tinder looking for a man, not for someone who is acting like they are 12 years old. I know that sounds harsh, but hey, the truth hurts. You guys need to start upping your game.
7. Send “That Pic”
When it comes to scaring women away on Tinder, one thing really tops all of the rest. Now I am not going to explain what the one picture you really shouldn’t send to a woman is, but you can probably figure it out. Every once in a great while, a woman actually will want to see a photo of this nature, but that is usually when the relationship has been going along for quite a while and hints that she wants it, not when she has been messaging you on Tinder for five minutes or so. If you are the kind of guy that likes doing this on Tinder, or any other place really, you are probably going to disgust and freak out a whole lot of women. If your instincts are telling you that women like that kind of thing, never go on Tinder again.
6. Message Way Too Often
While women don’t usually like a guy that is totally hard to get, they tend to like to know a guy is interested, what they don’t like is a guy that blows up their phone pretty much constantly. Here is a pro tip — if you message her and you don’t hear back right away, even for a day or so, don’t text her back, and I mean ever. If she doesn’t write back, then she doesn’t write back. The last thing you want to do is come across like a desperate dweeb, writing her over and over again. Actually, she might think you are worse than a dweeb. She might think that you are someone that has control issues, and she might just want to get rid of you right away. So come on, don’t be so scary.
5. Say You Are Looking For A Travel Buddy
This one is so totally lame that it’s amazing that anyone uses it at all, but still, guys are constantly breaking this one out. What you’re trying to say with this one is that you have the money to travel, that you like to go places, you are looking for someone to travel with you, and are insinuating that you might even pay for it. What it sounds like you are saying is that even though you have the money to travel and want to go somewhere, you can’t find anyone that wants to hang out with you and you are so totally desperate, you will pay for a total stranger to come along with you and spend time with you in your bed. Use this only if you want to come across as a total loser.
4. Pose With Another Girl
So you are on Tinder trying to hook up and yet you chose to set your profile photo of one with you and another woman. Think about this for a second, what are you really trying to say here? Are you trying to say that you have female friends? Are you trying to say that other women find you attractive? Do you actually have a girlfriend and are just looking for something on the side? This photo never works if you are trying to meet someone on Tinder and is almost guaranteed to scare the person away. Save your photos of you and some random chick for when you are on Facebook or Instagram, not when you are on a dating app, trying to hook up in this manner is a total fail.
3. Pose On Top Of A Mountain
I totally get it, we all do — the picture is of you on top of a mountain, therefore we all know you are spiritual, in good shape, like the outdoors, and are committed to taking on hard tasks and completing them. I mean, that is what we would think if your photo wasn’t so cliche. And I know, a lot of women do this one too, and of all the ones on this list, it is probably the least likely to scare someone away, but still, the whole thing just makes you seem so darn unoriginal. The only thing worse than this is probably being the guy holding a fish on a canoe. No woman is going to get turned on by that photo, and in fact, most other guys are going to think you are an idiot, too.
2. Put A Fake Job On Your Profile
I know you are trying to be cute and funny, but here’s the thing, if you try to be cute and funny and you aren’t, well, you just totally failed. If you write that you are a “secret agent” or a “male model at Victoria’s Secret” or anything else that is remotely like that, you really are not going to get the reaction that you are looking for. While you think you’re coming off clever and different from the herd, in reality, the woman you are hitting on has seen a bunch of different guys use the exact same fake job description, all in the last couple of hours. It’s one thing to not be totally original, but you have to try to not be totally lame all at the same time, unless you want to scare her away.
1. Use A Selfie Where Your Face Fills The Screen
Dudes, enough with the extreme close-ups. It’s one thing to be confident and not worry a whole lot about what people think of your face, but it’s another thing to take a photo so close that anyone looking at it feels like they’re in the same shirt as you are. Just pull it back a little bit! Just like everything else on this list, you want to appear confident but not super creepy, which believe it or not, maybe only 5 per cent of guys seem to be able to pull it off. If you’re part of that 5 per cent, congrats, you don’t even need Tinder to hook up with women, but if you aren’t one of the lucky ones, pay attention to the advice in this article. Don’t fail when you hit on a woman on Tinder and scare them away.
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