Have you ever been cheated on before? It sucks right? Your other half seemed shut-off from you, or was very aggressive, or always made you feel below them, or they were always really frisky until they seemed to get bored of you…would it make you feel better to know that they may very well have been a psychopath as well? Isn’t it a good thing then that you ended up not staying with them?
I’m not saying that everyone who cheats is a psychopath. Nor is everyone who is a psychopath a cheater. But there is something interesting here. Both psychopaths and cheaters share a lot of things in common. They have a higher sense of self (even though they also have cripplingly low self-esteem), they think everyone lives in their world so that means they can do what they want with them…there are a lot of connections.
So, this article is maybe even something of a guide for those of you who might be worried that your other half is either cheating on you or, worse, is a complete psychopath. Now, before you jump to conclusions after looking this article over, know that this isn’t a certainty. There are always exceptions so don’t go straight to accusing your other half after seeing a few similarities here.
15. They Make Great First Impressions
If either of these types of people want you in their lives, they will make an incredible first impression. Why? Because they will say whatever they have to in order to get what they want. They will come across as kind or flirty or maybe even just cutely awkward to get you hooked in. They know how to get in your head to get what they want. People will often say “once a cheater, always a cheater”. I don’t think that’s necessarily true, but it likely is for the most part anyway. That being said, this kind of person will make that first impression as awesome as possible so that you want more. The more you want, the more passionate they can get, and the more they get out of you until they find someone else to move on to. So…be aware of stellar first impressions, I guess…
14. They Don’t Care & They’re Cold-Hearted
You might be having a bad day. You might be going through some things that you need help with. Here’s something you might not know…both cheaters and psychopaths just don’t care. They can be a little cold-hearted. It’s not necessarily that they don’t actually care about you. It’s just that they’re too busy caring about themselves. Even if you bring up a bad day, they will immediately try to match it because it matters to them that they have it worse or can at least have that connection with you to show that you’re not so special with how you feel. Psychopaths may very well not care about you at all. Their hearts are so cold because they have needed to shut them off in order to get the feelings they want in the likely strange and/or violent ways they want.
13. They Are Serial Daters
Don’t get worked up here. There are a lot of serial daters now. That doesn’t mean they are all vying to be serial killers. And it definitely doesn’t mean that they’re going to cheat on you. Chances are, if you know a serial dater, they’re not interested in a lengthy relationship anyway, but if they make the exception for you and you know about their serial dating past, then you best be on your guard. They could just be very interested in you for now. Once that changes, you might find yourself down in the dumps as they move on to someone else. That, or you’ll find yourself actually left in the dump because he or she was just looking for the right target to have their way with and go psycho on. Just something to think about…
12. They Have Very High Standards That You Can’t Meet
This is something that also applies to narcissists and sociopaths so you’ll have to be careful here if you’re thinking about pointing at your other half to call them a cheater or a psychopath. That being said, narcissists and sociopaths aren’t much better when it comes to being in a relationship. Either way, if you find yourself close to someone and they seem always to look down on you, or seems to always have something to pick at you about, then you’re in trouble. This doesn’t mean that they’ll snap on you, but it’s at least possible that they might want to literally take away the thing they don’t like about you and they might do that with a knife. That or they just like to make you feel like a lesser human being when compared to them. They love power and that’s something you want to stay away from…unless you’re a sub.
11. You Live In Their Life And They’re In Charge
It really doesn’t matter what you want. Nothing in the lives of these kinds of people makes room for anything you might want. Well, I shouldn’t say that. You might very well get what you want from them, but only if it’s something they want you to have, or if it’s something that will give them power over you. Both cheaters and psychopaths are fairly selfish people. Even if they have sh*t self-esteem and need to beat down others in order to feel better, they also might be a bit delusional as to how awesome or how important they really are. If you find yourself dealing with someone who would sooner shut you up because they worried you wouldn’t stop talking, than just ask you politely to be quiet for a while…then you might have a psycho on your hands.
10. Their Needs Are More Important Than Yours
This is the thing about people who cheat and people who are psychopaths. They think about you, but they only think about you in context of how you work in their world. If you don’t work in their world, then you are out. That could either mean some sort of violent action to remove you from the world…or it could be as simple as finding someone else to be with in order to push you out of their world. Basically, anything that you think they’re doing for you…they’re actually doing it for them. Often both of these sorts of people will do things that seem sweet to you but these things are actually giving them pleasure or are stepping stones to them getting something else that they want. They know how to manipulate a situation, and they’ll do it whenever they can.
9. They Find You Boring And Tune You Out
This is something that could happen with other sorts of people as well. I mean…you could actually just be a boring person. So, you definitely have to really think this one through before you use it to accuse someone of being a cheater or a psycho. But if they happen to be either of these types of people, they will often tune you out or talk over you because they’re actually not interested in anything you have to say. At least not at the moment that they interrupt you or zone out from you. Try to be aware of their body language when you’re talking. You should be able to tell if they’re actually actively listening. If not, you might want to address what’s up with them. They could actually be distracted by something serious…or they could just be bored by you.
8. They Belittle You To Feel Powerful
Some people are actually just egomaniacs and will belittle you to feel better because they can and that’s how they get by with their days. But this trait is also present in both cheaters and psychos. Cheaters will do anything to make you feel less than them because they are spending all of their time feeling guilty and need to think that there is someone who is worse than them. If they can make you feel and seem pathetic, then they will feel superior to you and therefore better about themselves. Psychopaths will belittle you because they feel far powerful than you. That could be either because of something they are plotting against you or just a strong feeling they have which drives them to get through each day with some sort of disdain for you.
7. They Go Crazy Over Petty Things
Be careful here. People who have bipolar disorder can definitely swing their mood on a dime. And they can definitely fly off the handle at the smallest things. Cheaters will do the same though, but with specific things. If you even glance at their phone when they’re on it, they could snap. That’s a big red flag. If you come up behind them quietly, once they notice you they might get upset (in case they were doing something they don’t want you to see). Psychopaths are very much the same way in flying off the handle. Their mental stability is not exactly the most solid thing in the world and they can be unpredictable. So, one moment you could think you’re saying or doing something in a loving way, and they could lose it. Different reasons for the snap, but they both can snap for sure.
6. They Have Very Low Self-Esteem
These sorts of people are just full of contradictions. You might think that both cheaters and psychopaths are often full of themselves, and you’d be right. You might think they treat people around them like sh*t, and you’d be right. But why is it that way? Did you ever stop to think about that? It’s because they have very low self-esteem. That’s the reason they have to act like they are the greatest people in the word. They have to live as though they are living in their own kingdom and everyone below them is a peasant. Otherwise, they will fall apart because their self-esteem is so low that they need to believe they are awesome. In that same regard, they often will do the things they do because they feel they don’t deserve anything good and therefore push away the things they really do love.
5. They’ll Tell You Anything To Get What They Want
You might think that they’re really being smooth and being so sweet to you. It just makes you open up and want to do so much for them…that’s exactly what they want. They’ll say anything to manipulate you to do what they want. Even if you think you have evidence that they have cheated, they will do everything they can to convince you otherwise until you’re actually not sure if you had evidence to begin with. The same thing will occur with people who are psychopathic. You might see some strange behaviour that really makes you worry and wonder what this person is really like, but they’ll ease your worries pretty quickly. They will likely know what you want to hear and will make things as easy as they can for themselves as well…because it’s something they want.
4. They’re Very Passionate
Hey, there is nothing wrong with passion right? Am I right? I know I’m at least partially right. I’ve been in a couple of pretty passionate relationships and they are incredibly exciting and rewarding. If the only passionate relationship you’ve ever had was in Second Life, then it doesn’t count. You have to leave your parents’ bedroom to really experience one. So, not all passion is bad. But there is a noticeable difference between the type of passion between two people who are deeply connected, and an uncomfortable passion that is mainly pushed by one person onto another. If you find yourself in a relationship where your other half’s passion almost scares you…they could either be cheating, or…they’re hot on the idea of where they’re going to put that knife…
3. They Don’t Take Responsibility For Anything
This is a big sign that you might be dealing with a psycho or a cheater. If you find that your other half always has an excuse for something they’ve done, or they always justify their actions to place the blame on someone else, or they even always end up placing the blame on you…there could be a real problem. I mean, first of all, you’re dealing with an asshole. That’s pretty clear. That being said, if there is always a justification and it totally checks out, then you just have a very reasonable boyfriend or girlfriend. But, if there is always a blame game, they could be removing responsibility from themselves because they know they have done or will be doing something pretty horrible and they don’t want to feel guilty about it.
2. They Can Be Very Aggressive
This should be no shock to anyone. Psychopaths are very often found to be aggressive. Sometimes they’re found to be aggressive a little too late and they have really hurt a number of people or worse. But there is certainly a pattern you can observe through their lives. Even if it starts as aggression with toys and then insects, and then small animals and so on. You can notice it. With cheaters, they get aggressive pretty quickly simply because they are carrying around a ton of guilt or a huge defense. So, as soon as they seem challenged, they are going to dump a heap of defense on whoever challenged them. And here’s the thing…it’s usually a perceived challenge. It might not have actually been a challenge at all though in reality.
1. They Live Like They’re The Best Ever!
These people have to assume the role of the best person in the world. This is why they also assume that they live in their world and you live in their world. You’re not some sort of separate entity with your own private life. You’re actually just a being that exists in their personal universe and that means they can do whatever they want to you or around you. Essentially both cheaters and psychopaths can have a bit of a god complex. That being said, so too can narcissists. But a cheater or psychopath will have a ton of low self-esteem buried underneath it all. A narcissist won’t think about low self-esteem at all. So, for the psychos and the cheaters, they have to put on the front of being the best because if they show signs of being otherwise, they could fall apart completely.
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